(2007/03) March 2007 MTBs

Joelle: When you say your niece's granddparents dote on her, you're referring to your BIL's parents hor? Not your parents right?
This is how I analyse her feelings. I think your niece wants attention from her parents leh. She may see that her cousin's mummy (ie you) is at home with him all the time and she's yearns for that.. Do you think so?
 


joelle,
Same my nephew when parents around esp his daddy will be a very nice boy. Quietly sit there finish whatever is given to him. If parents not around, grandparents will need to feed him. Even chase after him to feed him. Ended up my girl also want to follow him. Also she will teach my girl to do things which he knows i don't like. Like ask my girl to jump on the spring mattress with him. Very angry last time, every night have to see this happening as scare my girl learning all the naughty things from him. And his parents just happily going er ren shi jie for their dinner.
Now i no need to see this as not at my il house now. My frens and colig can feel i'm much more happier although i have no one to help me. I think i'm happy cos i'm in control.

Joelle,
If you can try to find a place of your own but close to your parents.
 
sq: i think it is stressful leh. i know it's not easy to teach and discipline. i'm sure my sis or the grandparents didn't want the girl to turn out that way. but still.... i worry more that if seth turns out the same with my guidance, then i would have failed even more badly as a mum! and i've got excuse!!
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one of the reason i m desperate to move out before seth dong3 shi4 is dat i m afraid of the influence. for eg, they allow the girl to eat instantnoodles when her meals is 'not to her taste'. worst, even when the adults go out to tabao meals, they will rather not tabao for the girl, and instead cook instant mee for her. like dat how m i gonna reject seth if he sees and asks for it next time?
 
pink : ya lo...now i tell myself to close both eyes lo. if the parents dun care i vomit blood for wat right?

mickeymouse: ya..it's bil's parents dats y i cannot say anything oso. i dunno abt the attention part leh..cos she is happy w her grandparents leh. as in she has more freedom! n it doesn't help that her parents like er ren shi jie oso.. sigh.

huingee: exactly! my current concern now! n my sister n bil is the kind who prefer er ren shi jie wan lo. then sometimes when have to take care of the kid for 1 day oni, will get stressed wan lo. n if they wanna make the kid behave, they will give in to her lo, like dat she happy they more free. :S
 
SQ,
not that i m understanding.. i actually worried about my son's future.. i definitely don't want him to grow up and become a terror, and since i can't be there to teach him myself, I can only rely on the teachers.. that's why i must instruct them to scold!

Like at home, i will always tell him things like, cannot hit mummy, cannot hit po-po.. cannot bite people etc.. in a serious manner.. i don't treat it lightly as if it's very fun like that.. but i know some people do that.. as in, they find it very cute that the kids hit them or bite them.. u know what i mean.. then they laugh and play.. so the kids will grow up thinking it's ok to hit people, it's ok to bite people because that is fun.

So I was worried that if the IC teachers really love him so much to the extent of spoil him - just let him hit or bite.. then that is wrong. Of course they don't do that la.. but i know 1 or 2 of them soft-hearted lor.. will spoil kids that type. I also spoil EJ (in my own ways as a mother).. but I know I have some rules that I won't allow..

I guess when it comes to discipline, it's tough.. because what one person feels is ok may be not ok for another person.. that's why u see all those kids at Gymboree who bully other kids.. maybe their parents treat it lightly.. they probably feel it's just part and parcel of growing up.. so they don't care lor.
 
Joelle: Understand your concern. Cos last time when I see my terror nephews I also tell my hubby I don't want our children to turn out this way - and therefore I don't want my MIL to be looking after them. Now also close one eye lah, cos even though MIL doesn't take care of Anna, she's around to jagar the maid..

Autum: I beat anna when she bites me. But she will bite auntie also.. And I'll look at her very fiercely and tell her cannot. She still does it sometimes..
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She's very notti now.. Very very notti..
 
autum: agree sometimes it's how severe the parents themselves take it. for eg, i cannot imagine how the mummies can allow their kids to scream and run about on mrt. i mean, how can they themselves take the noise?! but to them maybe it's bearable compared to forcing them to sit still and hearing them wail.

i've also been smacking seth for biting and hitting other kids. but sometimes when i know he did it cos he doesn't know how to control his strength with us, i'll let him go, but tell him to do it lightly next time. and if he immediately continued with another hit, i will smack him hard! sometimes i find my hands stinging from the smack n i feel guilty. :/ but he learnt the lesson at that point in time. next round, the same will repeat again when he forget once again.
 
Joelle: Abt JG trial, do parents have to wear socks? What abt the babies? Have been meaning to ask, but kept forgetting until now..
 
Joelle: Anna screams too if we don't give her something she wants. Remember we were talking abt how kids kick their legs and cry in shopping centres, the image is my nitemare. What to do if I'm in that shoe? No point shouting or hitting the kid cos that's a bad way of teaching them. The silent treatment?
 
bbmouse: when seth screams, i'll leave him strapped in his highchair n facing the wall. i'll let him scream and cry till he stops before i go near him. i will then carry him and 'tell' him not to do that. and if he repeats, i'll pur him back and repeat the process. if he is not on the high chair, i'll leave him to cry and walk away. so far he has not tried it in public yet. *cross fingers*
 
linda,
cannot before food la... this med must eat after food... so i either give together with her milk, or give her some bread or buscuit den give the med...
 
yvonne: if it's alot of different meds, i'll usually mix them all together and feed it to him from a bottle/cup. i'll tell him it's juice and be very excited and happy about it. usually he'll happily drink up and ask for more! :S
 
joelle: heheh this won't work for me cos Rae dun like juice. she just like water.
Ur niece sounds like a terror leh.
Hey u should go meet the MP for ur area and get him to help u in securing a new flat. never considered buying resale?
 
bbmouse, joelle,
I just called JG rgd the evoucher, till now i havent receive and told them i wont b able to print it during weekend, cos printer at home spoil liao, anyway, she said no voucher oso can go.

oso ask them about socks,the lady said both mummies & babies gotto wear socks le, for hygine purpose, guess most likely is becos of the HFM cases.
 
star: heh...maybe u can tell rae it's just colored water! :p resale is too ex for me leh. the cash above valuation and the reno costs will kill us! :S

cutie: did u ask if it's free? cos apparently, they have non-free trials oso, and definitely they will tell u can go. shannie's currently liasing with them over this cock-up.
 
joelle,
wau.. tough love! u just let seth face the wall and cry and scream ah.. u very good! i hope if i ever need to do that, i won't xin-ruan..

bbmouse,
for me, if on the spot EJ really scream and yell if i take something away, I may relent because as you said, I don't want to always have to discipline through shouting/hitting. I will still scold but if he scream too much, i will give in first. Then after I give in, I will hold him by the shoulders, look him in the eyes and seriously talk to him. Tell him that such an action is wrong. That u don't ask for things by screaming and yelling.

My mom always think I am weird to do that cos she says he won't understand. But i feel otherwise. I feel that EJ does understand what I mean. Even if he doesn't understand the words, he knows that what he had just did is wrong. Of course over time, must keep repeating, then they will get the message.

Then even at normal times and normal days.. I always talk to EJ to reinforce ideas.. as in, sometimes just out of the blue, i will talk to him.. tell him that he must be a good boy and that good boys do blah blah blah... good boys will receive a lot of love and attention.. if he is not a good boy, then nobody will want to play with him or love him etc.. so on a normal basis, i talk to him like that.. don't have to wait until he does something naughty then tell.

Sorry for being so lor-soh.. just sharing my thoughts.
 
Cutie: Thanks for checking..
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Autum: I also think children go through a rebellious phase. It will be testing and a lot depends on how we handle this difficult phase.
Yesterday, anna was trying to reach out for things on the table again. This time it was the dining table. Then while I was talking to my hubby, in a moment she's got her fingers at the edge of my bowl of soup and it almost poured on her! She screamed and fell onto the ground. Her screaming is one of shock and fear. Before she could start crying, I quickly carried her up and placed her hand under the running tap. I can't imagine if I weren't there and the entire contents poured on her. She would really freak out. See lah..
Then I tell her mummy says no-no, cos it's hot. Then she understood. It was like she learned a lesson the hard way.
 
joelle
some parents are lidat. my sil and bil also lidat. and the amazing thing is they can have two kids. guess when you bochup, life is easier for you as a parent. so they can go er ren shi jie go holiday whatever shit, just leave the kids around. then my mil buay tahan, will wanna kpo and help out. that's when i'm upset cos i either have to make bbsitting plans out of the blue, or my mum got to sudd be on call to help out. or i got to see the two old folks jagar two toddlers and sure YE will ganna harm tarm by the fatty nephew
 
on sun at GUG, there was this kid who kept screaming THROUGHOUT class EVERYtime he wanted sth. YE kept looking at him and wondering what's going on. his parents also never say anything to pacify him. just let him be
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autum
i think they understand leh. everytime i tell YE sth she looks at me. and she will already pre empt what i'm gonna ask her to do. it's not that they don't understand. sometimes it's just that they don't wanna follow.

so i think it's good to talk to EJ
 
autum, joelle, bbmouse
i shouted at Leia a few times, can't help it. she struggled for me to carry her and refuse to bath. I yelled at home and place her on the floor and let her roll, she cried like mad. yeh this is the kind of scene we see in shopping mall, its a big headache.
the other day at vivo playground, she struggled when we wanted to leave, i hope it wont get more serious than this.

Irin, bbmouse
i've got price for the mountain roller coaster and sodor set...
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let me post...
 
joelle,
spoke to the JG person, & guess wat she said!!??
She said 2 mummies(one is myself) need to pay $39 cos we did not register with bay* supplies or we register after the cutoff date!
Was quite pissed with JG cos how come did not inform this earlier, i mean the importance of registering wif bay* supplies? Worst still, she said can't reveal to me the name of the other mummy cos is P&C--> stupid excuse!
am a bit confuse as well, thought the person who liase with JG is Shannie, but she mentioned is Angela le...
Anyway, i spoke to Deborah, and the marketing PIC is Gaynar, so basically is Angela(from SMH) who liase with Gaynar.
Can you ask Shannie to double confirm whether must i & another mummy need to pay $39?

If need to pay, then will give it a miss
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Cutie: Yah, since you're migrating, if have to pay, what's the point of attending?
Why do I get a feeling the other mum who has to pay is me? Cos I registered with the office email address but uput down my yahoo personal email add in the GG.

Pink: Really excited..
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SQ,
ya.. somehow at the back of my mind, i always feel that maybe because i always talk to EJ (since birth!) .. so he is not so 'unreasonable'.. as in maybe he used to hear me talk talk.. so he is more calm.. actually he doesn't really scream if i take something away. He scream a short while then he move on to other things liao. Or maybe he is just short attention span! don't know which is the bigger evil.. short attention span or screaming for something.. hiaz..

Pink,
Err.. i think not very good to let her roll on the floor and cry leh. Later become habit then she also do that outside.. u will headache! Can try to use a softer approach? try to talk talk ? not sure if it will work la..
 
pink,
I tink coz lett always hear lucius calling jiejie so she picked up from there.

Yvonne,
Dun feed with milk ah! Later she reject the milk lagi jialat!

bbmouse,
U will be surprised how long Ana will remember the incidents. But i figure gals are beta at this then the boys.
Lucius have more than enough of 'accidents' with the kettle, soup bowl, even the stove but til now, he still 'yaya' and will attempt some stunts. My hubby and i juz let him be coz after trying so long to hammer into him 'DANGER' he still repeats... >.<
 
autum
i also believe in that. the talking part
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i talk to YE alot, both before and after birth.
even when she was v sick, i talk to her everyday, bf, lunch, dinner. sometimes even supper. the nurses at NICU told me it made a difference in her recovery. so did my other nurses friends. i believe in it strongly leh

cutie,
ya lah, angela is shannie

mickey
you can call them to confirm if you want. stup*d system.
 
joelle,
i want to comment on what you said about being a SAHM so no excuse if your child turns out badly. i think you shouldn't put undue pressure on yourself. just do what you can. i'm sure seth will be better off than if you weren't a SAHM.

and you know what. SAHM or FTWM, i think there's no excuse for not being involved in our child's upbringing. so we all have no excuse!
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Linda: I know she'll remember it. Which is good. The incident was worth it.. Wish she can learn with as little pain and damage this way in life too..

SQ: Yah, I'll call them up eventually.
 
Cutie, other JG mummies,
I so happened to be on the MSN with Shannie. She said she will give an update tonite on JG. She doesn't know who is Deborah from JG, and yes, she liased with Gaynar from JG.

She is busy taking care of her boy Andrew who is having high-fever now. But she will come in to update at night.
 
pink/autum: ya i very mean wan. i jus let him scream his lungs out i bochup wan. i feel it's good for me oso. cos if i try to stop him, end up i will scream louder to get heard n risk smacking him for the wrong reasons. so i let him scream while i calm down. i'm oso lucky dat seth has short attention spans and i can distract him with other stuff quite easily.

cutie: angela is shannie's real name. and accordin to jg, the promo is for bay*supplies members oni. we r lucky dat those who got the vouchers jus by signing up at the jg page dun have to pay. so eventually they settled that mummies who did not sign up before the closing date will have to pay for the trial. i checked the gg page, think the 2 mummies r u and huajing. but let's wait for shannie to confirm tonite can? she's busy with andrew who's running a fever.
 
RE: Screaming/Crying Child
Lucius was the crying kid for a period of time. He will cry, sit, roll and holler. At home, at out. Initially, I will be paiseh and quicky succumb to wadever he is requesting.

Slowly, I learnt to walk away from him and let him do his show. Of coz ppl will watch, stare and even point fingers at me. But i tahanz lar.

Now, Lucius have learnt that doing that whole show does not affect me at all and he's quit doing it. And the best is Lavonne. She will say things like "Shame, shame! I will tell ur teachers!" And Lucius will immediately stop and act good. LOL
 
Linda: I agree with your method. Cos the child obviously makes a din to pressure the adults to give in. If adults give in, he will know this method works and will use it again next time.
 
Joelle,
when is the cut-off date to sign up at the Bayb website for JG trial? I don't remember seeing a closing date leh.

Linda,
so good.. get one kid to discipline the other kid! positive peer influence!
 
SQ,
Lucius is veri 'ge siao' one. The more u stop, the more he will wanna touch or do wadever.
So we juz let him be. Once he learnt the hard way, he will stop. But if he knows its dangerous but not to the point of life threatening, he will still do it. >.<

bbmouse,
Dun all mothers wish the same for our kids. But look at ourselves. I am sure there was some things that we learnt the hard way too.
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bbmouse,
Its easy to say it but hard to do it. Especially at some big mall where there are 20 pairs of eyes chiding u. Lucky i thick skinned.
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Autumn,
Ermm... I dun think lavonne thinks that way. She is probably juz amusing herself when she says that. LOL
 
linda,
you must be v thankful for lavonne. can i ask her to teach my kid as well?
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and lucius is there to "do his show solo"? that's so funnie! u are always so funnie describing all these. i so miss your sense of humor when you mia for almost a year!
 
linda: if in a mall w 20 pairs of eyes, i'm not sure wat to do too. can i bring him out to the stairways to cry &amp; not disturb others?
 
Aiyo, YT so excited see me come home but she walked too fast towards me and I whacked her mouth with the edge of my laptop bag.
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RE: crying screaming child in public

My friend told me her mom will pretend to accede to her request then drag her into the toilet to whack her. Haha.
 

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