(2007/03) March 2007 MTBs

[shopping_queen]

QQ
Take ur time
I'm Nt in a hurry
When i collect ON, Pls remind me to pass u a rocker (or watever it is called)
I kept forgetting til my grandma reminded me on sun
The one you hv is a netted one
I hv a blue fisher price hand me down which meimei is Nt sitting anymore
Ah will wld b able to sit

 

[shopping_queen]

QQ
I sudd wonder if I shd send YE back to GUG
wonder if their quality o teachers has stabilized n improved
Then meimei n YE can attend classes ' together' n I dun hv to shuffle between diff places
So lazy

 

[ash_boo]

SQ: ye still attending gug? so long already. u really a long time customer

 

[cwee]

Mummies, i am flying back tonight...

My mum found a lump in her breast, her report will be out tomorrow. Dr. said 90% cancerous. Hoping for the best.

 

[huingee]

CK,
Oh, wait till report and see how. Yes, hope for the best. Take care and hope your mum is fine coping with it.

 

[tituteo]

ck
oh no..hope ur mum's gonna be fine.

ash
aiyo... my freezer is stocked full liao.. i usually get their frozen meat as the prices are comparable to supermarts. for those unfrozen ones, they are pricer but definitely good quality! i tried their wagyu once and it was delicious!! once in a while they have promos and discounts (usually will advertise on papers) that is when u shd go and grab the meats... much better deals then!

juni
fr my understanding, bed bug bites r usually 3 in a row (straight line) type... if it's single bites, then most likely mossies. i find mossies nowadays very poisonous! usually leave huge red swells. just gotta apply repellant when outdoors lo like wat the other mummies suggested.

 

[babylovespink2]

CL: Hope your mum is fine.

Kaexin, RR: Did your kids cry watching Rapunzel? Anna did.. She was so afraid and kept asking when we re going home!

Even when I bear hugged her most of the time.
This story line us not so good hor? How to explain that the "mother" is actually bad? It s like telling her mothers are not always good. Come to think of it, Cinderella is the same.

I m more determined Disney hates mothers..

 

[moogen]

CK, oh no. hope your mum is fine.

 

[mmqq]

CK, hope your mum is fine! Stay positive!

SQ, ok. thanks.
oh this jay somehow likes gug cause he said it is more like laying the foundation for tian. tian had fun, and still remember teacher z.
if you know about their teacher quality, let me know.
we just went clinic for tian and will's review.
both of them are not much better, left a bit of phlegm so still on medication but no more nebuliser. i updated dr ong about the hernia thingy, she said she was happie for the mistake because no surgery and no complication from hernia anymore. but the big FATs and bulging part was quite scary that's y. i agree with her cause that part seems v fat as compared to other babies. and the fats are very HARD too.

 

[lurvecakes]

Hi mummies.. I have a few qns to ask... Working mums...

1 how do u manage kids housework n work...

2 kids in childcare , how do u have time to cook after u reach home from work? Already pass 7...

3 how much money do u still left for urself after deducting everything tt need to be paid off...

4 after I asked all this qns, do u think I still qualify to work? I think I cant even handle house n kids, still geh kiang find a work to add on to my stress?

 

[mmqq]

Yvonne,

1. housework? I get partime cleaner to help weekly. simple ones like dish washing, jay will help. laundry also no problem. and i am super lat-tat, i don't mop floor daily de.
When I reach home, all my time (most of my time) is for kids.

2. I dont send my kids to cc. this is my concern of sending them to cc too.
can tingkat or cook simple one.

3. money???? i never keep track woh. i just save on and off.. the rest in my account i just use and use.
for your case, if you work all your money you can keep. This is because other expenses should be from nick, right?

4. you need to LIST down everything... otherwise you will not know how you can handle.
working need not be long hours (some works are flexi and short hours).

 

[mmqq]

SQ, oh yes. we have CP with AAA too.
so i will wait to consolidate items from AAA side then start distributing again.
meanwhile i just xin-shang the clothes at home first.

 

[lurvecakes]

Qq
Ok... No qualification, even I go take o level now , I will be dead meat... I m just a piece of useless living thing... I really feel myself useless... Housework n kids I also cannot handle...

 

[mmqq]

Yvonne,
I try to let you picture my life without jay last time, but I have only one TIAN, not two kids.

am7.30: wake up, feed milk, send tian to nanny
8am: drive to work
7pm: reach home, have my dinner. tian plays by herself.
8.30: feed milk, read books, etc. tian goes to sleep.
after that i work a bit from home, also surf forum. haha!
EASY right?
you just need to input DINNER if you want to cook dinner for the kids.

Weekends: laundry, mop floor (if no partime helper). wash toys etc etc.

 

[lurvecakes]

Transport 2way ($1.8x2)+($0.7x2)= $5x22days=$110

CPf deduction 1300-260=1040

Childcare fullday $200

Eat $5x22days =$110

Give mom $200

Total $1040-110-110-200-200= 420 

My own break down of the job salary at 1300... If I put the kids to cc full day, I have to pay the extra 200 myself,.. So... I think is wasting time... The job require mi to work 9-6pm weekdays 9-2weekend...

I m left with 420 for working so hard... Useless!

 

[autum]

CK,
Be brave! and your mummy too.

Yvonne,
If u reach a point where u feel useless, I think u just need to do something. Don't think about the salary etc.. even if u work for free, u need to DO SOMETHING. U know what I mean? Cos you are overwhelmed by your feelings of "uselessness" now.. so u need to do something to show that you are not useless (actually you are not ok)..

If you really can't find work now, I would even suggest that you really work for free.. go and do some social work.. just 2-3hours a day.. I think u will feel better.. after u interact with more people. If you can find work, then look upon it as a challenge.. handling work, kids and household.. I am sure you CAN do it.

 

[lurvecakes]

Qq
How to cook dinner so fast?

 

[tituteo]

yvonne
may i know why u want to work at this point?
1) self actualisation - like astro, u want to carve out a career?
2) money - u need to earn money to supplement nick's income?
3) boredom - u find urself bored even with all the housework and childcare?
4) others?

 

[mmqq]

yvonne,
fast dinner tips, huingee also has.

we just prepare things in advanced and steam.... stir fry a bit can liao. i think can b done in less than 30 min. practice makes perfect and planning is important.
soup can cook before working using slow cooker.

so don't worry about this cooking. you can seek advice when it is time. Now just need to think of the big picture, what you wanna do? why? etc etc.

 

[lurvecakes]

Autum
I cannot interact... Just talking to teacher with the arrangement, I almost wan to cry... Now posting in here, I m tearing... I don Noe wad have gone into mi... I start crying for nth... I don dare to talk to anyone now.. Cos I Noe I will start crying like hell..

 

[lurvecakes]

Joelle
I don Noe... I feel veri xin ku now... Nick veri stress up at work, so I wan to do something , den at the process of finding work , I feel myself so useless ... Den I wan to study, I cannot... Den I stay at home, I m back to the sq one o face with my stress ...

 

[lurvecakes]

I cannot find wad have gone into myself... I called the counseling hotline, no one pick up... I am stuck at all dead end... I talked to nick, but always end up is myself ..

 

[mmqq]

yvonne,
dun think too far.. sure can work out something de.
i need to go lab now.
come back later.

 

[lurvecakes]

When we discuss abt mi going work... Nick point out... Now no work, I stress abt house kids and bills... With work, will stress abt house kids bills work hb leave dinner everything ... So make mi change my mind of going work... But y? Y is it always mi mi mi... Is it really I die, everything stop functioning? Wad if I now already cannot function? Who can help?

 

[lurvecakes]

The cc teacher is veri good, she say if I have to pick up late, she can help mi sent the gals home.. But nick disagree ... He is already struggling n yet don wan to let mi go work... I don Noe wad is the prob with him...

To him, I do housework n take care of kids already no time for him... If I go work, no time for family n him.. N earn tt few hundred , worth everything anot... Logically, yes not worth... But better den sit there n do nth right?

Now I have throw all my thinking... Wad do u all see in mi.. Is it my prob or wad? Have I gone mad taking care of kids?

Everymth he must give mi at least $1500... With this , I must settle utilities bill , childcare , my own lunch , breakfast, house grocery, tinkat , everything!

 

[huingee]

Yvonne,
I think it will be quite stressful to work now as both your girls are so young. Maybe one or 2 years later will be better.
Dun be stress, talk to us.
It will be good if working hours are not so long.
I know you are still adjusting to living on your own, more cost factor.

 

[huingee]

Yvonne,
Why you still using tingkat?

 

[autum]

yvonne,
now the girls are in half-day CC? or those 2-3 hrs playgroup? If u are working, you can get more subsidy so the difference to pay for full-day cc may not be that great. just a thought.

 

[lurvecakes]

Hg
Cos I don Noe how to cook ma... Will be cheaper this way too.. N I Onli cook for the kids sometime... Most of the time tin kat... I feel so bad... Like feeding them msg everyday...

 

[tituteo]

yvonne
u sound like u r very fed up with household chores n childcare. if that is the case, then maybe u think u will be happier if u work. then autum is right... u dun have to think abt money... just work for the joy of it. but if u r just 意气用事 then i would suggest that u take a break for a little.. go on a short hol w ur friends, leave the kids to ur inlaws or mum or even nick... then come back feeling refreshed and decide wat u want again.

i dunno for u.. but for myself, i do get fed up of facing the boy the whole day..then i look forward to my hb coming back to talk to me and stimulate my thinking... but when he comes back all tired and moody, i get frustrated and angry too. but i know at the end of the day, i do not want to leave my kids in the care of others and my self actualisation is in keeping the family happy and well.

 

[wiky]

Yvonne,
Actually I agree with Autum. If working is not for helping out with the finances, then how much you get is not an issue. You just need colleagues to interact, need something to take your mind off housework, kids & etc ... If you want to really have a career/proper job, it might be stressful like what Nick pointed out.

As for dinner and housework, it will work out slowly. Cook soup before work, prepare ingredients the night before, come back stirfry, steam & simple dishes. Worse come to worse, pack dinner home once in awhile. Not a problem. You just have to be sure why you want to work and if you can handle the workload & people.

 

[lurvecakes]

Autum
Now they in half day cc... Each after sub I Onli have to pay 85... I using cda to pay... So if full day will be 170each... So now I m paying 170 per mth for 2gals... Den if full day will be 340 for 2 gals... I don Noe wan to squeeze where to pay the additional.. I Onli have 1500 to play abt...

 

[huingee]

Yvonne,
You can try to cook simple meals. Can cook very simple and cheap meals. Depends on whether you want or not. Also tell Nick dun be fussy eater.
You want to help lesser Nick's burden? If you unhappy and stress then he and kids also will feel it.
What kind of job you looking?

 

[lurvecakes]

Joelle
I wish to take a break... I wish I can be like him can just say: tonight I will be late n I won't be back for dinner(when he feels moody).. I point out all this to him... He got out of words.. No one can help... I cannot leave the kids to him... Not to mention inlaws.. Sure come back getting sick.. I can't leave to my mom, she work... I m bind down with all this tt make mi can't move... Wed I have free time till 4.30... But I starting to feel inbLance ... I don Noe y...

Rr..
I don Noe how to reply u... Maybe I m just lazy now? I seriously don Noe wad I wan... If staying at home, I cannot point out wad is no good... Cos staying at home I can slp, I can do all the things I wan, the gals make the noise... I also don Noe...

 

[lurvecakes]

Hg
He forever will be a fussy eater... Nth can change him... He will work hard n pay for it.. Of cos he will still eat if I cook one extra dish... He will still comment nice... But I really don Noe wad to cook if I cook everyday..

 

[lurvecakes]

Hg
No job can hire mi... I Onli have a useless ite nitec cert... Everywhere now need minimum an o level 5 credit... I think I have no difference compare with a cleaner...

 

[tituteo]

yvonne
u cannot think so much liao. if u need a break, u need a break.. dun think abt the kids falling sick or what... even if u go to work, u still need to put them somewhere, and they will still fall sick somewhere. r u going to feel guilty and blame urself for working when it happens? u r not a superwoman. at the moment, it seems like u r the one who wants to get everything done and still be happy. u want to work and socialise, u want the extra income, u want ur kids to eat home cooked food and u want ur house spick and span. is it practical?

take one step at a time ba. if u really want to work.. dun think of the other factors first. find a job. then slowly settle the children's cc then after that start work liao see if got time not tired then u plan to cook... if too tired, then just buy back for few weeks till u get more used to it then try to prepare food for cooking.. then last thing u think abt is housework..since u will not be home most of the time.. the house won't be very dirty anyway... do during weekends lo.

and why do u say u cannot cook? u've been cooking for ur kids wat... ur food not edible for nick? simple home cooking will do ma..anyway everyone needs to eat..u just cook for the family...no need to specifically cook for the girls ma. once a week go out eat something nice lo..other days just eat simply will do... do away w tinkat.. ease some financial burden and keep urself more occupied w planning and cooking meals lo.

 

[lurvecakes]

This morning I told nick, is it veri hard to get o level... He said yes... It took him 1 full yr to concentrate on studies with teacher teaching him... So, he ask mi back, if I go buy back all the books and study myself, do I think I will pass? Difficult, don waste my time...

So, study, waste my time... Go work, waste my time... I stay at home also waste my time... I go out, waste his money for useless things ...

Kill mi pls!

 

[huingee]

Yvonne,
Dun be like this, you can slowly upgrade yourself.
That's why i suggest you to learn baking and next time can work from home doing baking. But you must have the interest. If you business is good, then u can get a maid to help you with household and you concentrate on baking cakes.

 

[astro_pro]

yvonne: for a start.. u have to be positive and think a bit more highly of yourself.. nitec is not a worthless cert.. there are many other people who didn't have the opporutnities to complete their education and if they can survive.. so can u..

i wanted to add in a pt but it has been re-enforced by RR/Titu/autum liao.. ask yourself.. very honestly:
-WHY do you want to go out to work? Do you want to do something more to your life or are u trying to avoid something?
-what is this stress you are talking about?
-is $ a critical issue for you?

the way you answered the above questions dictate what you can do/want to do.. and what you cannot do/don't want to do..

from the way you replied.. it seems.. u feel stifled.. and i sense.. just sensing.. frustrated with current way of life? money doesn't seem that much of a critical issue.. but before you spiral downwards.. u need interaction.. go out.. send both girls to cc.. noone can be a super woman.. u gain some.. u lose some.. when u regain ur balance.. then can u be happy.. i feel..as much as u respect nick.. u need to live for urself too.. because he cannot take care of how u feel.. u need to take care of urself first before u can take care of ur family....

 

[autum]

Joelle, well said!

Yvonne,
one step at a time. actually if all along u have been using tingkat, then why now u must worry about cooking just because u want to work? I am not saying tingkat is good.. but I am just wondering, why u feel this way.. cos when u just lump everything together, u will surely feel very overwhelmed. Your tingkat is for you and nick to eat? or for the girls? I am a bit confused.

 

[lurvecakes]

Hg
I have a prob with myself... From young I m a solo person... So now I m married, 我还是爱一个人.. I like to do things myself... Even nick cannot do it for mi, I will think he do wrongly.. And always is 90% sure wrong... So if a maid come, I think I will drive her crazy...

Joelle
Yes... I wan everything... I need a work to give mi extra income, also the bonus of work is tt I can socialize, but this is not important... For kids, they are more or less immune to the sch... So .. I don wan to say... Later jinx myself... Den cooking, I Onli bake the fish for the gals.. I don stirfry or cook fancifully...

 

[lurvecakes]

Ok... I think abit confused now..

Tinkat
For mi n nick... If I go work, I won't be in time to come back to cook rice for him! So might as well cancel tinkat, we adult eat out...

Cooking
Cos If I work, the gals will go full day, the sch don provide dinner, so I worry they will get veri hungry by the time I reach home.. Wait till I cook, I think nick will scold mi for starving them...

 

[astro_pro]

yvonne: so. it seems.. $$ is most impt factor which determines what u want to do?.. ok.. then in that case.. set realistic targets.. get a job first.. and get into the swing of things.. the job market now is vibrant.. go for something which interests u.. and someting which you can use to get to higher positions.. you are VERY young.. u HAVE the energy to charge ahead.. u have to take the first step.. like what autum/huingee/Titu are trying to advise here..
$420 excess is quite a fair bit leh. (from ur analysis).. it is better.. than.. nothing?

 

[lurvecakes]

Astro
To work, I need the extra money... Nick's company may not last... Mthly break even now... N he have not claim all the money tt need to claim, cos it will suffer lost... Den, if I work, I will have CPf contribute to the hdb loan. Maybe this few hundreds won't make a difference to u...
Avoid something, yes, Becos I m so emotionally down, I have been treating the gals badly... I don love them! I told dr I have this thinking.. Tts y he sent mi for counseling... But on another hand, I don wan to give it to anyone...
Stress, I can't really state wad stress I m having... Cos right now I really don Noe wad I m stressing... When I have everything I have...
Money critical ? Frankly, no, savings still can last both of us with no income for 2 yrs... But y must wait till must use the saving den start finding ways to solve?

 

[babylovespink2]

Yvonne: I think you're too stressed out now. Hmm.. What you need is to have a goal, an aim to work towards.
When you used to live with your in-laws, you used to look forward to having your own place. There were lots of ups and downs but you kept going cos you had a goal to look forward to.
Then now that you have realised that dream, it dawned upon you that it's not all you expected. There are more bills to pay, maybe more cleaning to do, and u have no one to interact with. Staying at home all by yourself is no fun.
Am I right?
If so, I think you need to find a hobby. If you can't make money with your qualifications, then tell yourself you can achieve something with your talent. I don't know what it is, maybe you don't know at this point either, but I'm sure everyone has talents. You follow your heart to do some things u like, it will lead you somewhere.

 

[astro_pro]

Yvonne: a few hundreds is a big difference.. hence i said. it is better than zero..

if dun want to give it to anyone.. then u dun have to.. live for urself.. and yes.. dun wait till must use savings then go and find work. it is good u are proactive.. and.. u are cushioned with ur savings.. so take the first step?.. find a job first..
i needed work to distract me.. then i started loving teng and yh even more.. i find them more adorable.. more patient with them.. ya think you might be a similar situation as me?

study desn't seem to be the best choice available now.. but finding a job.. a retail one?.. is not that difficult..

 

[autum]

Yvonne,
I agree with what Astro says..$420 is quite a bit compared to $0. and you cannot keep thinking $420 is low because u have to start somewhere. as you progress in your work, u will get increment, and bonuses. If u don't start now.. 10yrs later u want to work.. and it may still be $420 then.. but if u start now, $420, 10yrs later it could be a lot more than $420.. u know what I am trying to say?

As for cooking for the girls, just cook simple things. The girls also can adjust de. My kids eat dinner every day at 7+pm. Sometimes if we go out, can drag till 8pm then eat! I am not saying my way is very good or what.. i am just trying to say, our kids can adapt too.. and I tell u, children can actually adapt faster than adults! If u send to full-day CC and u worry they are hungry, ask the teacher to give them a snack at 5pm. Just simple biscuit or bread. Then u all can eat dinner at 730pm.

Cook soup using magic cooker is VERY easy. just dump everything inside in the morning, boil for 15mins, then put in the cooker. By dinner time, all ready and nice. Then just fry eggs, steam eggs, fry veg.. u think we all eat big feast every night ah? I bet u, we all eat very simple stir-fry stuff also.. even good cooks like Joelle, i am sure she don't cook mega meals everyday! *right Joelle?*

If you really start work, I sponsor u a small magic cooker. small de la.. not the big expensive one.

 

[lurvecakes]

Aaa
Even u say I m stress but don Noe stress for wad? I try getting hobbies... I try yoga... I try swimming... I try baking.. I try goin out with friends... But... Still cannot get over all this in my head...

Dr tell mi, this is not a passing phase anymore.. Is a phase I need to used to it... So? I really must be like tt? Facing all this everyday? Calculating bills, calculate this calculate tt... Even I go out, I have to calculate the journey and wad time I need to reach home or wad time I must bring the gals back so I have time to bath them n put them to slp... Den slp I also have to see wad time is the latest time I must slp so I have enough slp n wake up in the morning... I may seems I have alot of free time... But time actually not enough for mi...

No one have thinking like this?

 

[lurvecakes]

I really don Noe if I should go work.. Nick will say I already no time for him, now I work, no time for kids n him... Den how?he say if I Nv work, at least when he not working , he can anytime bring us out... If I work, five n a half day, Onli left half sat n sun, I will sure be resting at home or do housework... Wad he says logic too... Now I m so confused..