(2007/03) March 2007 MTBs

hey rr
hope there's nothing wrong wif your dad.
my dad is seeing doc in a week's time to take jab, hopefully to clear his blood vessel blockage. if not has to go for operation
sad.gif


Mejo
YT's poses with the elder cousin huh..:p cute

Blurbelle
Chloe ok?

thinking whether to let leia go for classes next week due to H1N1.

Mr tan really qi shi wo le, he is still planning his bangkok trip. called up the polyclinic. says only need to quarantine 2 days at home. I told him all the 3 of them cannot come to office for that 2 days. he said he will not come home for that 2 nites. I really wonder how he set his priorities.
 


chloe LS again once at 4pm.. just now she drank some h20 cos i cant find 100plus .

i also getting more worried now also ask pete to take care of his health.. at food ctrs i get paranoid when ppl just cough n never cough mouth le..aiyo..

QQ
welcome back.. go rest first ..unpack later.
 
blur, i finished unpacking. reached here last night, then today spent whole day unpacking and jaga tian alone. hb went out for work today since his partner is here.
i starts to see some T2 pattern from tian's face now. i kept asking her "DUN CRY DUN CRY, SPEAK first, what do you want??" aiyo..

juni, *evelyn right?*
oh i went back to KL for one week. fil passed away.
 
Belle,
nope, no history of heart problem. We are all going except for my dad, that's why think my mum even more "bu fang xin".

Autum, Pinkpink,
thanks ...

Pinkpink,
your dad has heart problem?


I just went to visit my dad again with my mum and sister. Nothing wrong with his blood tests and x-ray but then his blood pressure is quite high and he had been feeling nausea and having headaches. Don't know what's wrong too. He had went to polyclinic few days ago and they said it's just some minor gastric problem. Hope it's really just gastric and nothing else.

QQ,
welcome back. Rest well 1st bah, the rest can wait.
 
RR, your dad got hospitalised?
hope nothing serious.

eh, my 2nd uncle (jiu4 jiu4) got hospitalised a month ago. he got colon cancer 3rd stage as well (same as my fil) but the tumour burst inside. i din get to see him when i went back. my mum said its very serious and he cannot see now. (still in hospital).

juni, i am bit numb le, but its ok. we are coping well. my hb is a bit regretted cause he din really speak much to his dad a few days before he passes away. one good thing was he worked in KL for quite a while (1 year plus) last year. so not too bad. he said at least spent quite some time with him.
 
QQ,
ya, just went in today cos of chest pain. I hope it's nothing serious too.

Tumour burst inside? So must be quite serious. Last time my grandfather also had colon cancer and he was basically passing out blood as stool during his last few hours of life.
 
RR, even if really got small problem, its better to diagnose it earlier then easy to cure right?? so better check..
i also got chest pain le, i dunno if i got problem.. sigh.. which side? left or right? or centre?
 
QQ,
it's at the centre but the doctor did a series of tests and deduced that it's not the heart cos the pain only comes when he raises his hands, exert force or etc ... The doctor believes it could be straining of the chest muscles.

Anyway the blood tests and X-ray he took this afternoon for the heart came back normal. So now is only the blood pressure that has got problem.

Your pain is always there? Or on and off?
 
RR, the pain comes only once in a while.. like once a week or so.. or once a month.. but i know that its the same place. LEFT SIDE.. so maybe heart problem. but hor, i am very young le. so i continue to do my yoga and see. hee.
two weeeks never go liao.
next week cannot go again cause hb going to be in KL then.
 
QQ
tian only displays this 't2' pattern recently? stimes chloe also notti, for nthing she will whine to be carried, or she cant even wait when i m busy. when she wants it, she wants it NOW. cannot wait..will cry n call out mama mama lor
 
QQ,
I read before that some chest pains might be cos of muscles so might not be the heart. But if it becomes more frequent or severe then maybe you'll need to go see a doctor.
 
juni..
aiya, she cries when the things din happen as she wishes. she used to be more patient and speak to us about her request...
now immediatel cry and fa1 pi2 qi4.
 
RR, i hope its muscle pain. anywy, i think its muscle pain la. hee. its pulling feeling... its not very frequent. but started to have it after miscarriage.
my body is very de shang1 after that incident.
frequent leg swelling, chest pains..

Blur, oh.. after this trip.. very jialat.
everyone sayang her and she can order ppl to do things as she wishes. everyone will just comply. even myself i have to comply to it cause she made very loud noise and interrupt ppl la.
its supposed to be a quiet thing back in KL.

but now i am back in singapore, i am going to be more harsh to her. i let her cry, then i wait for her to EXPLAIN and describe things the way she wants
if its a reasonable request, i will comply. if not, then its my turn to explain.
very long winded process, very leceh.
 
BB, sometimes i wonder how to take a break now? nobody takes over my job unless i take 1-2 months leaves again. things just accumulates and i prefer to clear it without taking leaves.

my boss sms me to send me condolences. i can sense that he also feels that i cannot do much at work this year due to too many things happening at home. bobian la.

actually mil wanted us to stay till tomorrow for the 1st 7th day, but then i really have to go back work on monday and clear some things during weekends. eventually we got a PASS from her, otherwise we are still in KL today.
maybe have to go back on 49 and 100 days.
 
after this trip,
i feel that i did not do much for my dad. I did more for my fil. i mean the way those ppl feel that its a kind of respect for old ppl. e.g. kneeling, burnt incense, prepare meals, etc etc.

when my dad passed away, i did not kneel for my dad but i had a chair to sit on, i did not help in anything during his wake including burning incense (paper money) for him. i did not send him off to the temple, i did not witness/pick up his bone/ashes and put into the container..... i did not even pray too much. i felt so bad. after that i did not go back for 49 days or 100 days..

now? i am forced to do this and that. I'm ok, but i just feel that i did not do enough for my dad. I did everything for my fil instead. i know my dad won't mind but i still feel quite bad to myself whenever i am doing something for fil now.
 
QQ
cos when it's your dad, your family sayang you, dun dare ask you do this and that given the situation

when it's your fil, the ILs EXPECT you to do certain things, no matter how much they love you

sorry for the frankness

hey, take my car back to woodlands after class tomr
 
QQ
and it doesn't matter that you didn't do all those things AFTER your dad passed away. what's impt is how we treat them when they are alive. after that, it doesn't matter anymore
 
QQ: You're back! Hey, don't blame yourself.. You were in a delicate situation then.. Agree with SQ. More impt is the way you treat them when they're alive, after that, it's really more "for show".
 
qq, it's usually the case, when my dad passed away, I thought I shd have spent more time with him. Sometimes we are just too busy with things around us that we forget the ones whom we really love. And you, health, okay, just exhausted?
 
SQ, if hb going with me tomrorow then no need to take your car.
if he is not around tomorrow, then take your car.
happy.gif


yes, i feel that i was the most useless bump during my dad's time .my relatives said he doted on me so i need not do anything at all. my sis did everything on behalf cause i was bleeding and such.

your are right. this time, order came down directly, my sil did not do much cause she is pregnant now, which is understandable. not only mil, hb's relatives all placing high hopes on me.. even mil's frens also place high hopes in me. but hb said i did well as nobody complained la.
 
QQ, hug hug u...i knoe u are v tired + heavy work load. Boh bian research is like tis...sometimes we are too committed to our job. u cant kneel down at ur dad's wake cos u were preggie then. U noe i was preggie when my uncle passed away...everyone stopped me from attending his funeral. I teared at hm...nobody noes.
 
Juni,
thanks.. i feel ok. my health is ok too. recovering la. just that legs sometimes swell a bit. it needs time to heal... very soon i will be another dragon.
happy.gif


AA, SQ, BB, Juni
ya, i spent less time with my dad too. but i talked to him more via phones. no regrets la, he still doted on me after all.
actually my fil also doted on me, he even asked me to go over to his bed and talk to me for quite a while 2 days before he passed away. he said he was happy and lucky to meet my dad, he will definitely go and look for him. he felt that both of them are very tou2 yuan2.
my dad actually also likes my fil. they very friend de.

SQ, actualyl my mum also said, the most important thing is before they passed away. after that, it is not important anymore.
so she told me to take care of myself better, no need to fan2 over other things which anyone also can do.
 
qq: what's impt is also the memories you have of your dad.. these you'll keep with you forever.. so don't feel bad..
hey, u are under quite a lot of emotional stress lately.. for a weaker personality, the person could have gone into depression.. you've shown you're strong, but u must still help yourself by reminding yourself there's no point feeling guilty.. guilt is the first step into depression, ok dear??
 
QQ
it's lidat de
not just at major events like wake, but also in day-to-day activities
every time i go mum's place to eat, my dad and granny will collect the dishes and wash up after me
at ILs place, no matter how lousy i feel, i have to do it
the expectation is just different

lucky for you it's now over and you're back
 
AA, me ok la. i have a supportive hb and super supportive mum.
i very jialat.
i feel guilty oni during the bai4 bai4 when i was doing things for fil. now i am back, me ok la. just a slight thought, not very serious kind.
i called my mum, she said "aiya, nobody knows wat happen after someone passed away, its not important."

actually ... mil made some comments etc etc until i had that feeling. she had many rules and laws, but i kaykiang go ask her why?? after that it seems like i was not filial like that.
but i called my super mum for confirmation, she said she had done it on behalf already.
like tat also can.
 
SQ, agreed wif wad u said. To inlaws we are afterall the DILs so must be "AUTOMATIC" kind.


QQ, gd that ur dad & ur FIL v tou yuan. Rest well. Everyone at hm is tired.
 
SQ, my mum also pantang on certain things then she will highlight and mention to us de, but she is definitely more open minded and bochap. she said she has 5 kids, as long as someone do the job then ok liao. no need to be always 5 of us there, all of us busy running our own living.

heng heng my hb is not the elder son, otherwise both of us also tired and tired. cause the elder son did most of the job there... i was the oni dil, so i must do the rest.
 
QQ
no matter how thankful i am to mil for taking care of YE, i always hate those major events like gatherings and CNY, bai bai time etc

cos she always expects me to do stupid things and i can't question her. so i know what you mean

bbmar
yes. life's lidat. to be honest, if i have a DIL, she will never be the same as my dotter too. i mean, i treat her well etc, but the way my heart aches for a DIL will not be the same as the way my heart aches for a child i carried for 10mths and brought up. it's just different. so i dun blame the MILs. i just hope they are fair in their expectations too
 
BB, i am glad too.
i hope they are together and chatting nonstop together now, like what SQ said. I also find it weird to say that, but i told hb the same thing.
so when we pray, i ask fil to send my regards to my dad leh.
sounds weird, but hope it happens la.
who knows?
aiyo.. i am sot sot liao.

AA, i have many layers of support, no problem de.
but mil is quite mah2 fan2 most of the time. she is mentally abit unstable and sot sot after this incident. hope she can cope well.
 
QQ
even though your hubby not the eldest, he's already doing alot. aiya, even if your sil is there, your mil would prefer you to do certain things i'm sure. based on past history. hee hee

hey, how's your sis?
 
QQ: Hope your MIL is ok too.. Afterall, she's just lost her hubby/partner for life.. So maybe she's in a bit of a bad mood besides being depressed. So just "forgive" her and let her be bhah..

SQ: How many weeks are you along now?
 
SQ, yalor.
u know? relatives play a big part in affecting our relationship.
a relative said i should leave tian with mil for at least a few months. then mil sort of agreed.

I oni said: if I really want to put tian in KL, i would have done it long time ago.
relative said: even if you want to do it last time, nobody will want it. but now ppl are asking u, pleading u to do it to let your mother pass time easily, you should do something.

I was like: har? like that i will be very lonely woh. cannot lar.. (smile smile then walked away).

they know i will not do it, but still want to come force me.
 
SQ, AA,
yes. she is worst, but we dun blame her. we just hope to pull her our from the sadness once in a while. she is sot sot... one simple instruction will repeat thousand times until everyone feel so shock and tot there was a change in instructions.
anyway... give her sometime.

SQ, u also right.
she ask me to do this and that. then ended her sentence with this" papa will be happie to know that you are doing this for him"
alsmot every task.
 
AA
bad is an understatement
i just eat cos if i dun, the ms is worse
now i feel like puking every min when i'm not zzz
so i wake up for meals, then zzz immly without waiting for it to digest. then it's lunch, same thing. ditto for dinner

but i still put on weight wor. cos i still eat, and my full time job is keeping the food in the tummy without puking
 
SQ, good..
going to hit the 1st milestone woh.
happy.gif

i am not cooking tomorrow, just bring the soup (cooked today) tomorrow bah. see how.

maybe should go swensens.. cause got one $50 cash voucher expiring 2 days later.. dunno where to spend.
 
QQ
she sounds really "traumatised" by the loss (can't find the right word)
hopefully she gets better with time
so who's "distracting" her for now that you and tian are back?
 
SQ, my sis is 6 weeks preg now.
oh, one successful egg inside now. hope can support till 12 weeks then safer. now she is having ms and keep eating cause feels hungry most of the time.
she calls me on and off if she is normal. very funny de.
 
QQ: yah lah.. don't blame her.. i remember when my dad passed away, good thing my uncle and auntie (my mum's brother and his wife) directed the whole thing.. else, i think my mum will also repeat everything so many times to people..

SQ: Sounds bad.. But this feeling shd be waning off bit by bit until when you know it, it's totally gone! then we come out for our lunch date..
happy.gif
 


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