Some thoughts that went through my head today...
I'm a regular visitor to the BP threads and it amazes me how BP for books, flash cards and the likes are always so hot with mommies. It never struck me that I can start my boy on these things so early and today, I found myself browsing through the piles of flash cards and sound books at Popular. It's like a sort of kiasu mentality. If the other babies of my boy's age are starting so early, then I musn't let him lose out too.
Then I found myself wondering, what do babies at this stage really want and need? I have no doubts that flash cards and sound books may amuse them... for as long as their attention span can hold. Then again, I guess so do faces of people on the streets, the feel of soft fur running across their cheeks, the smell of ice cream and a lot of other things.
My HB was brought up by his maternal grandparents (his bro by his paternal grandparents). His mum is a teacher, while his retired dad used to be some high ranking personel in some MNC. He stayed at his grandparents home from Monday - Friday till he was in late Pri school or early Sec school. That was when he went home permanently and stayed with his parents. They never visited him on weekdays. I asked him today, if he did feel resentful about this whole arrangement back then. I wasn't surprised by his answer. I gathered that grandparents can never replace the roles of parents. Otoh, my mum's a housewife and I was taken care of by her when I was young. My retired dad was a production operator in some factory. We lived in a 3 rm flat and shifted to a 5 rm flat when I was 12. I don't remember him having problems making ends meet. I do remember I have no lack of toys. We don't go to fancy restaurants but an extravagant meal is having zi-zhar at the coffee shop. Till I was about 21, I still find that a meal costing >$10 is extravagant.
These days, we chase after so much material things... yeah, the don't know how many "C's"... car (or car
s), condo (or condo
s), country club (or country club
s)... and the "C" that we do not hesitate to sacrifice, is our children. The most amusing thing I heard this weekend, and I can't remember from who, was someone saying that some grandparents have decided to help their daughter look after her child so that their daughter can "concentrate on her career". Though I can't be too sure of the background, it does sound to me like the daughter is quite keen on advancing her career and is quite reluctant to retreat from the workforce *shrug* I was secretly glad that I do not have much of a "career" to talk about... else I guess it will be harder to let go when I have a chance to next time... hopefully...
Having said so much, I find it hard to kid myself that the childcare arrangement that I have after I return to work in mid Dec is the best one. Yes, I have the luxury of my parents to take care of my boy, and after going through quite a bit of "things", they are now a mere 5 mins drive away. Sounds like wonderful. But when I think of the amount of time that I have with my boy from mid Dec... weekends + 2+hrs on weekdays (should be about bedtime when I fetch him home), this is very little or almost no time. Is that the sort of mom I want to be? Is this going to be the best for my boy, and will he be happy? *shrug* Unless I stop working, else I think it may be hard for me to want a second child when I can hardly spare time for my first.
Just some thoughts...