(2006/06) June 2006 MTB

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lok,

did you extend your ML? i'm on 4E.. haha.. small small world. the mummies in our co. are organising a small party for the babies/toddlers, u interested to join? maybe i PM u better..
 
vivi,

I fully agreed with u that sometimes we are not the 1 who comment. But they will have the idea that its confirm from us.. very sad right !! Kinda kenna condemn leh & their son will never go against them.
 
amy,

at least u still hv sometime to flash.. my MIL doesnt believed on such so i didnt ask her to flash for me. probably i will do one round with my ger & then see if she is comfortable to do it
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Oki,

exactly! Actually, our hubbies shld play a part in making the environment as cheerie as possible and NOT tense. It seems that the Guys are not bother!
 
cookiemz,

yup, i took 2 mths unpaid leave. Yah, PM me the details.

tinklebell,

So coincidental hor. If only i can be so lucky when it comes to the real TOTO / 4D but i never have such luck. Sometimes, I think I'm quite good at making links and guessing who the person might be ;)
 
vivi,

actually my hubby makes it abit worst cos he is quite stress by all these "complaints" between me & his mum. bo bian lor thats why he tries not to be bothered. Juz a quick check, my MIL is in her early 50s.. urs ?
 
vivi, not attending the seminar leh. you?
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think this seminar is to sell SM, unless you really want to meet Prof S in person, which i dun see the need to. since i registered already, no need to attend lo.

oki - can sell to your mil the idea? i first asked my mum to read the GD books. turn out - she now very on... ha ha... do as i say. we adopt a collaborative approach, since she is bb jake's major care giver. but think with mil, bit diff to implement this.
 
tinklebell, kk, celeste, oki,

When you all see those cutie clothes for baby gal, will u all get very tempted to buy! I saw those clothes for bb gal really pretty leh, even sometimes got the crazy idea of buying them to keep.....but again, how can i forsee that i will be having a girl for no.2 haa...im quite crazy huh! Think i will sure buy until broke if i have a girl next time, cannot resist it! :p
 
oki,

same abt 55. Guess wat, now i dun comment abt his mum to him anymore.

Sometimes have the feelings to be a single parent instead. Sometimes he goes crazy when stress.

Theres once, when im angry with him then he goes crazy. I waas super FED up that i will carry bb and left the house.
 
kk,

Don't know leh, the nurse at polyclinic seems worried and tell me that my son falls under the 95 percentile ....big baby! Say not good if continue overweight....it will lead to health problem next time....
 
amy,

am going.. Has the same thinking as u. But hubby urge me to go. So i just go.. Update u after the seminar.

Not too sure, whether wanna let bb join shichida class anot. So hope that i can be clearer after the seminar.
 
serene,

U have a big problem!! Haha.. urs is a son leh, u want to buy girl clothings to keep ah? Heehee... i can resist buying now. Will only keep a lookout for cheaper clothings, around $10 :p
 
vivi... i understand how you feel. sometimes me too.. have weird feelings... wanted to shift out and rent a place myself, and be happy with bb and myself... be single parent...

but to think of it - the situation is not that bad. our hb loves us... i always remind myself to look at the holistic picture - focus on happiness, rather than the small flaws... guess it's diff sometimes...

just yesterday... had a disgreement with mil re her buying roasted pork for my maid. cos i told my maid not to cook roasted pork in my meals, also told my mil not to buy roasted pork. felt that she did not respect me... so complained to hubby maid bought roasted pork... and he escalated this to his mum... mil might be thinking why get upset over such petty incidents...
 
Serene,

Sure broke... my hubby is trying to stop me from buying more. Guess this BKK trip wah my luggage definitely filled with bb clothes ;p
 
vivi, fi & amy,

my hubby is the chin cai one. I told him if he knows mil did something which i am not very comfy about he should tell her immediately and not later on else sure she will know its from me..but sigh..hubby always work very late so he is not around to tell her things immediately lor..and sometimes i think coz they feel its their mom so they very chin cai put it across but end up didnt make it sound very appropriate.

vivi..didnt know u had same fate as me. When during mat leave i everyday also stress one. Coz when my son cries and while i try to pacify him and if he still keep crying she will carry him away from me one and to pacify him herself. There is once she keep doing it a few times throughout the day by carrying him away..i was sooo upset..coz he didnt even cry that long..Older folks reasoning is baby cannot cry too much. I was so upset by this i cried lor..and hubby go tell her let me handle my son next time and if i cannot handle i will ask her for help.

Even now i still feel very stifle..coz mil overly concern la..she keep worrying if she not around wait got things happen how..so she wanna follow us to PD visits, wanna stay behind on fri nights (coz now she and fil go back on fri and come back on sun) when hubby works late and wanna be involve in alot of things la..

Ask u all hor, does yr mom or mil gets confuse over terminology? My mil does ler..she keep confusing Mah Mah (grandmother) and MaMa. Alot of times hor she end up addressing herself as mama in front of my son ler...until i cannot take it i told hubby to ask her address herself as ah mah next time.
 
AMY,

well, will try to look at the +ve side.

Ai yo.. SHe must be thinking this way la.
Sometime, Hb are not that sensitive ya.
 
oki... hmm... maybe you can do two sets a day? before you leave for work, and after work? if your gal sleeps late, can squeeze in 3rd set? but think better stick with 2 sets... cos you still need to spend time with her bonding and doing other stuff.

vivi - keep me posted after your seminar, and if you do join - ha ha... our bbs can be classmates.
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Hmmmm.... all your bbs r growing so much...how come mine seems to have stopped growing since she was 3 mths!!!
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donno is it bec of her irregular bowel habit?
 
vivi,

My MIL is 53 ... same here nowadays I dun comments anything abt his mum to him. Then he gets fed up and made me lagi angry.... haiz !! I realised that bb machiam doesnt belong to me... belongs to his mama instead.
 
Re: gals clothes,

always keep on a lookout for it when shopping. Then my hubby will giveme a sickening look saying:hello! ours is a boy leh!

Guess wat, My MIL has got 3 boys n my FIL loves to have a daughter very much. Hence, they bought gals clothes n let the 2nd son wear.
 
oki,

me too.. my MIL always hint to me that the baby bears their surnames n bb only respond to Hb. Bb will only respond to me when he wants milk milk.
 
soh... aiyo... so sad... better ask your mil to diff herself.. she is ah ma... not ma ma... another colleague of mine.. her bb called her mum ma ma.. and she was so upset...

aiyo... your mil and fil stay over with you? must be quite inconvenient hor? esp if hubby works late. no diff from staying together. think really gotta stay positive...
 
oki,

Now mine is boy, already buy many clothings for him, u can imagine if i've a gal, sure cannot stop buying..it's addictive and moreover, i like to dress up my baby...

Btw, i think yr bkk trip price is reasonable lah as i've checked also, the airport tax already increased except SQ at $79. The rests are all around $101. But i thought jetstar asia price almost same as thai airways? Why never select thai airways? I've asked 3D2N BKK by Thai Airways, stay Eastin, $374 per pax, depart in dec.
 
aiyo mils sound so scary! my so far so good lah... never really bother with our life... but strangely when hubby commented the other day to invite mil to stay with us once we move to a bigger place... i felt scared.... donno why ...maybe it's bec i read too much horror stories abt mils in this forum... hahaha!
 
Soh,

If i am in ur shoes.. will definitely very sad & yesh shld ask ur MIL to differ herself leh.
Anyway, during my confinement MIL also came in & carry my ger away while i try to bf bb. I was very upset over this incident.... & told hubby that I will call out for her if I cant cope. Realised that she always has the impression that we cant handle the bb....
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soh1dful,

may i ask whether ur mil is a hokkien???

My mil also term herself as MAMA to my ger and obviously, based on my hubby, hokkiens all call grandmothers as MAMA leh. The first time i hear it, i find it really strange. Imagine if bb call mama, i dunno she is calling her grandmother or calling me?? So i distinguise myself by calling MUMMY
 
amy,

i am a weekend mum so can only do it either when i visit her ger in the evening or weekend. probably when she turns 5 mths i will bring her home more frequently.
 
soh1dful,

ai yo.. How cum your MIL address herself as ma ma to your kids ah? Later ur bb confuse? But i doubt so.
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My hb also never says anything when his mum comments about it. Anyway , i also Bo chap liao. JUS act blur.

Ya, they have the thinking that bb cant cry for long. Same as my mum. But usually my mum will let me handle if she cant help. I also quite upset when they will just "snatch" bb from us while we are trying to calm them, play with them or trying to put them to bed.

i have the thinking that u are with my boy for almost 9 hrs a day. and i only spend 3 -5 hrs per day. cant u juz leave us alone? But now, i will bring bb st to bedroom after work. i will always coup in the room n wont cum out.

My Mil will ask if she wanna come along with us for check ups etc. I will say no need . So everytime i will juz take leave to bring my bb for checkups otherwise, will try to make appt for sats.
 
Serene,

Oh my trip price is reasonable ar... thot abit x leh. I paid $93 for the airport tax leh... Not too sure how much doest thai airway cost but i dun like the location that Eastin located. So are u planning to go ?
 
hiaz... these days... motherhood can be quite tricky, esp when we are FTWM.... glad we can "care and share" here in the forum...
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tinklebell,

i always have the belief to stay in harmony with In laws. but dun think can leh. Cos they will sure have thing to be unhappy with us leh..

Funnie
 
amy,
its true leh. haha.

that time serene was just mentioning how much she had spent on FM.
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anyway,Interaction is really a BIG Xue Wen!
 
vivi - think the easiest way to stay in harmony is to stay away and live independent lives. i always liked the way westerners live... more individualistic. ha ha... my hb said i am the most private person he has ever met in his entire life time... dunno whether this is an over statement.
 
amy,

though its true. But sometimes, come to think of it, we will be sad when our bbs do the same to us when they grow up.
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yah..sometimes (actually alot of times) i feel my son not my son..but is my mil son =(
i keep telling hubby, mil must have assume herself as his mom..else how can end up keep calling herself as mama..and i find it even weird to confuse the term coz my hubby address his maternal grandmother as mah mah ..so my mil has been hearing this term for decades liaoz.

I think hor if my son calls her mama or calls her 1st, i will cry...his 1st word need not be mama but cannot be mah mah..wahahaha..

there are alot of differences that needs to be iron out lor..i usu ren until ren wu ke ren then i will go "mad". Will cry one lor..and sometimes feel very alone coz i think hubby think i too xiao ti da zhuo at times..but heng most of the time he ok and will help to set the boundaries with his mom.

one lucky thing is while mil tries to suggest her staying over when hubby is working late etc ..he knows i wanna have some freedom, so he always tell her its ok we can manage. So she bor bian but to go home lor..else i go mad ler..coz when she is ard..she likes to decide when to bathe my son, when to feed him water etc really like his mom lor..
and visits to PD hor, she is the one carrying him while i carry the bag with his things..always tell hubby i am the maid...now he tells her to let me carry him..very cham hor..own son still need to tell pple to let me carry..


kk,
no ler..mil is a teochew. I dont wanna change mama into mummy is coz monosyllabus words are easier to pronouce and i feel since its mil that keep confusing, she should be the one changing herself to "Ah Mah"...haha..macam like transformer.
 
soh... ha ha... transformer... so cute... agree with you. your son belongs to you, so naturally, you have all the rights to do what you like. i also told my hb, no one has the right to comment how i bring up my son...
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OoooOOO vivi...share the same sentiments as u!
in fact my mil has abt 12 hours a day with my son coz i usu reach home at abt 8pm and hubby is even later. So always feel why cant she just leave us alone for that few hours? There is one incident very funny where hubby carried my son to the kitchen to see wat i am doing and he commented "come, lets see what mama is doing"(was helping hubby prepare his dinner) and then out of the blue mil follow into the kitchen as well. Hubby was there telling my son "say hello to mama..hello hello hello"...then guess what my mil did, she stand infront of them and started clapping hands and calling out my son name..haiz..i nearly go bonkers on the spot..like what u tryin to do?? even these few mins u also cannot give it to me???

Actually i wanna do tha ler..bring my son to the room..but i scare like tt become like "showdown" and hubby dont like the idea ler..

oki..
yahlor..mil always have this notion we cannot handle without her. Thank god hubby told me we dont need to get approval from his mom to do things, all we need to do is to inform her what we want to do. keke..imagine if still need her approval..go mad
 

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