(2006/06) June 2006 MTB

[soh1dful]

amy

yah..i totally agree with you! I dont mind suggestions but i dont like instructions. I am ok if grandparents out of goodwill provide some tips for us but its up to us to decide if we wanna accept them. But i am def not OK if those are instructions meant to be followed lor. I feel that they have already gone thru and experience the path of being a parent..but i have not and i dont think its fair to be rob of my chance.

 

[mtmtmt]

so many MIL stories... hmm I have too but mostly water under the bridge lah. I was in 3rd trimester (Irv in tummy), I slinged my elder gal and went to their place for showdown...
Anyway now I still see ILs very often, they still come jaga when I need to leave kids with maid at home, and ILs bring my elder gal out, I sometimes join them for meals even when HB not. Just that I dun chat other than about the kids, I am clear abt how I want my kids handled and for most part, they defer (behind my back I wun know lah). Since the showdown, HB stopped forcing me to eat with them if I dun want to, I dun feel obliged to please them, so it's a weight off me!

BTW HB once joked that if I have TWO kids, I will be more "experienced" than his mum cos he is an only child. Anyway even relatives on his side sometimes joke that MIL not very gd with bbs, so if any of my kids cry, she wun try to snatch and soothe.

Last time with #1 she did lah... my gal had developed stranger anxiety to MIL *suddenly* despite regular exposure, MIL snatched her from my arms, I chased them cos MIL RAN AROUND their home trying to placate my wailing bb! In the end HB caught up with MIL and snatched back the bb. After that explained to her, cannot scare bb like that . BTW it was only a 3rm flat just that it's the kind with 2 entries at kitchen like a loop...

 

[happysunflower]

mtdt,
I did not sign up for BJG. I am looking into other playgroups...


Poohy,
Hope Samuel will get well soon... Wah.. joelle is 8.89kg...


Amy,
Have you signed up for the shichida?? I am thinking of signing for Shichida for a term too.
Last week, I "tiak" Aloysius till "sian" already, cos he still bit me. Then I let him bit. If he dun bite me, I will say "thank you for not biting mommy".

This week is better, he seldom bite me already... I think it's due to teething...

I have slowed down flashcards already. I also started equations after I reached dot 50. One day 6 sets, once per day. I think Aloysius get bored of the cards very fast if I flash more than once a day.


medusa,
hee.. paiseh... Aloysius getting cranky when we are going to take photos...


sunflower,
I will go to the zoo in the morning

kekeke.. then come home at about lunch time. Then go swimming in the evening if weather permits.

I am staying in YCK. Haven't decided when to collect the speed reading cards...


Fi,
When things are ironed out and settled down a bit, hope you will feel much better

amy, poohy,
I repeated the equations twice a day... Maybe that's why now Aloysius is not interested already

I think another thing is cos when I flashed the cards, I felt stressed and hurried. NOw I am trying to take things easy and slow down...


amy, vivi,
Another reason why I wanna continue breastfeeding as long as possible is that nobody can take away my baby from me... hahaha...

hmm... I think I am pretty lucky if I think positively...

The first few times when my MIL came and baby cried, she tried to soothe him. I just close my eyes and my ears 100%. Just let her try on her own since she brought baby away from me... Then she tried already, cannot soothe, she gave baby back to me eventually... Now, when baby fuss, she will come to me already... It's a fact that "only mother knows the baby best"

amy,
Actually, I dun feel like finding a job / career...


soh,
hahaha... I think I will also get jealous if baby's first words is mah mah...

What about "mi mi"??


hmm... in Chinese, paternal grandparents are called "nai nai" and "ye ye" rite?? Then maternal grandparents are called "por por" and "gong gong"... Initially, there's some misunderstanding.. my MIL dun like "nai nai" wor... but nowadays, she seems to accept it already.


medusa,
Your description is so funny.. hahaha... like catching hide and seek for baby... lol..

 

[kerenelu]

soh1ful,

I can imagine something now.. and it is worrying... if one day my ger start calling ma...ma... my mil sure say she is calling her!! Then i can imagine myself feeling hurt, disappointed, upset and wanna cry *sob* *sob* And who knows, my ger may really be calling her because like mummies here, grandmother see the bb more often than mummies *SOB* x 10000000000

 

[kerenelu]

Lyn,

Hey, i also tell my bb to call me mi mi haha.. sweeter ya?

U know what my colleague told me? SHe say she tell her bb to call her grandmother (my colleague's own mother) po po, instead of ah ma.. because ah ma or wai po always refer to the woman's side, seem to be inferior to the man's side who term ah po or po po.. so she want everybody to be fair, so all grandmothers are called po po... so that will really differentiate between grandmother (po po) and mother (ma ma)

 

[kerenelu]

wahh talk about this, i really buey tahan.. even my fil and sil say MAMA so loud to my ger everytime i am there.. "MAMA change diapers for u".. "MAMA going to feed u milk liao". That's why when there is no necessity, i will ask my hubby to fetch ger back from in laws place, while i wait at home. Better than me go there, and listen to all these nonsense.

 

[soh1dful]

lyn/kk

i feel hor ma ma is easier to call coz i find that babies all like to "AH AH AH"..so hor..i very reluctant to change how my son address me to mi mi lor..but there goes another worry..coz wait he wanna call mama but he end up calling mah mah (my son ah ah ah alot) then mil think he calling her..i cry =(

 

[kerenelu]

soh1dful,

Should we not make ourselves so sad? haha.. sometimes i very bad leh.. u know what i am thinking? My ger will definitely spend lots more years with us than with her grandparents.. so what if they are close now? haha! We still have so many years ahead to bond with them

And my hubby consoled me by saying that, my nieces and nephew are under my mother's care, but yet they are still very close to parents. They will follow parents everywhere they go. That makes me happy a bit

 

[kerenelu]

soh1dful,

But well, i can't help but imagine my mil's expression when my bb were to start calling her. AARRGGHH!! She sure give me the ya ya look.

 

[poohy]

lyn,

thanx... ya dun feel so stressed... i am guilty of that too cos everyday i am rushing to work

samuel is not having chicken pox... I brought him to PD just now... she told us its HFMD. think joelle got it liao... my hb got high fever so still monitoring whether he got it... sigh

 

[duffybuff]

hi okipoki, cookiemz, MTDT, soh1dful
went ard to look for the window shade but didn't manage to see the actual pdt. but attached the dimensions here.. not sure if it will block the driver's view.. but i dun thk so...

so far, those interested are:
1) okipoki
2) cookiemz
3) MTDT
4) soh1dful

do let me know if u r still keen?

if yes, then i can proceed to order liao since plus me.. we hv 5 sets already.

hi poohy
hope yr boy will recover soon. u dun so worry ya!

re: weight
my boy is only 7kg now at 5mths.. PD said it's ok n good.

 

[okipoki]

soh1dful,

Well, after reading ur posting... I realised I am normal to feel that way, so we actually shared the same sentiments. Hubby always said that I got "cha hou you yu zheng" (post-natal blues) ;p

I ever shared with hubby that if my ger ever 1st word to call out my MIL, I will be extremely upset. I think we have put in alot of expectation and love on our little ones...

 

[okipoki]

duffybuff,
I guess shldnt be any problem.... But if we "hang" on the window, our bb wont be able to touch it right ?

 

[duffybuff]

hi mummies,
haha.. understand all yr grumbles abt mil cos i'm staying with my PIL. initially i had the same problems and worst. I was suffering fm post natal blues for 3-4wks. luckily my hb gave me lots of support and told my MIL if she's overboard.

now things are so much better. well, at least i'm glad tat my MIL gives me & my hb lots of private time w bb. my hb works fm home so in the day, there are 4 adults (hb, SIL, PIL), i'm the only one who is not ard. So when i'm bk fm work, my MIL will leave bb for me to bath and feed. then after that, she'll voluntarily ask me to bring bb to my room to play.

haha in fact it din come across my mind abt the MAMA issue.. heehee. my MIL called herself MAMA too.. but in cantonese so with a slang (sound like 'horse' in mandarin) so still better. anyway i call myself Mummy.. cos sound closer.

 

[duffybuff]

hi okipoki,
ya thk bb won't be able to touch it.. but at least can block the sun and entertain him/her.. hee

sure u ok to go ahead? then we'll wait for the rest to revert.

 

[mtmtmt]

hmm i call my paternal granma "ma3 ma3" (cantonese). never made a difference to me lor.

 

[duffybuff]

hi mummies,
i rmbr some mummies are interested to see my playyard.. here are the pictures..

 

[soh1dful]

Hi Duffybuff

me ok!
Thanks!

Hi KK
hehe..i know what you been about us being able to spend more time with our kids. But sometimes will still feel sad la..like we cant be as much involve as we want to in our babies life coz of work commitment..and maybe by the time we can be involve, our babies grow up liaoz mai us to be involve liaoz booohooo..like my son 1st flip but i am not around to witness it =(

Hi Oki & duffybuff
i was near suicidal during my mat leave manz! Was very very depressed and keep crying. Once becoz mil keep carrying my son away, i was so piss i hide in the washroom and bang my fist against the wall.

Actually the rift btw me and my mil worsen after my confinement as my grandmother pass away 2 weeks after my son 1st month. Her passing away really sent me to rock bottom coz i was very close to her and i didnt manage to see her for the last time before she goes. To add to my grief, mil decided to bring my son back to their place until the funeral is over coz of pantang reasons and during these time i cannot touch him. At 1st i tot i tahan a few days then ok liaoz..but after that i realise my parents cannot come into contact with my son for 49 days! As i am not a very pantang person myself, i cannot accept all these things..i feel i am being pushed to my limits liaoz but becoz i dont wanna if anything is to happen (*TOUCHWOOD*) my parents to bear the blame so i got to tahan. Its from this incident that i decided that in future, i will not let anyone make me feel so miserable liaoz. I am my son mom so i will decide. If other pple not happy so be it, my purpose is to be mom to my son and not to please people and in the end make myself unhappy. It took me quite sometime to mend my r/s with my mil and thankfully my hubby is very supportive towards me during the trying period. He even bought me a singing pig (coz i have a fetish for piggy toys) to cheer me up..haha

 

[soh1dful]

Hi Duffbuff

where did you get yr playard? How much does it cost?

 

[okipoki]

soh,
wahh urs is really extreme... haiz u are right, bb is ours & we shldnt please others & make ourselves so unhappy.

Btw the singing pig sangs "I love sunshine....." I hv got one too ;p

 

[duffybuff]

hi soh,
ya agree with oki.. yrs really quite extreme.. anyway we live for ourselves.. so just do what we deem fit and right. shld be really happy tat yr hb is so supportive right.

i oso realise i treasure my hb more after all the incidents.. heehee mushy hor.

re: playyard
i bought this from the BP organised end of sep. i bought 1.5sets at $157. i shared the half set w another mummy.

 

[mtml888]

duffybuff: i wanna play!! so fun...

dear mummies:

Brendan's surgery a great success!!! we're going back to TW ASAP!!! Thanks for all your prayers!!

my hub trying to train Brendan to call "papa" first!! hmm... papa mama... doesnt really matter lah...

BTW: did any mummies bring their bbs to thailand? spicegal u did right? or did u go without bb? SIGH...... memory loss!!!

 

[spicegalklsl]

Mich...wishing Brendan a speedy recovery...i went Thailand Bangkok with my ger friends...did not bring bb along...i think okipoki planning to go soon.

 

[spicegalklsl]

Duffybuff...my friend from July thread told me Lok is organising a playyard BP for them so I'll be getting 1.5 sets....shared the half set with my friend..

Soh1dful..check out July thread if you are interested..price is about the same as duffybuff if we hit 10 sets above.

 

[tinklebell]

soh1dful,
aiyoh... your MIL so pantang... actually i really donno how pantang mine is but she is respectful of our beliefs and so we respect her for the same. In fact, during my ML, i brought my children to my uncle's funeral and even to the hospital to say bye bye to him before he goes off. My grandma kept trying to nag at me not to go to the hospital but if we dont go, i will never see my uncle again. luckily my mum was supportive of me bringing my kids to the hospital and keeps nagging at my grandma not to nag...was quite funny though. anyway, this uncle is v close to my family and loves elder boy v much!
After funeral cannot see your child for 49days?? oh dear! that's crazy! I cannot imagine not seeing mine for even 1 day!

Michele,
Glad that Brendan's surgery is a success!

duffy,
the playyard looks interesting... but i dont have enough space at home to store this anymore!

re: ma ma
hmmm.... i ask my kids to call me mummy....
but my son learnt to say ma ma first. think it is easier to say that out. i still remembered he kept uttering "thank you ma ma" to everyone when he learnt the phrase "thank you".

 

[mtmtmt]

I think first words usually ma-ma... can try differentiating urself as meh-meh, quite easy for them too. My gal used to meh-meh me, hahaha.

Michele,
so glad for u & ur family

!

I bought 1 set of play-yard when my gal was a bb, last until now she's still using... as her bed. Cos she moves alot at night, regular toddler bed will have her falling out. Outgrown bb cot cos she cant come in/ out as pleases. Play-yard if I unlock only the gate, she can access as pleases.

 

[syen27]

Mich,
So happy for you!!

 

[ahblur]

morning ladies

Serene,
Of cos when i see those pretty bb ger's clothings i get so tempted to buy. But hor when i see the price tag my mind will go "blank" and the temptation dies off. *lol* U believe it anot, the most expensive piece of clothing for my ger is the diaper pants (used for the outer covering for cloth nappies) which costs arnd $8 after discount from kiddy palace and then i found out that toa payoh shops sell it for $5.90! Felt so ketok! haha

Re : Bb weight
my bb was 6.8kg at 4 mths and GP said its gd cos its arnd the 75th percentile

Michele,
glad to hear that Brendan's doing well

Medusa,
I always try to tell my ger "call me ma-ma" but she simply refused or prob still cant get it. Haha, but when i do high-5 with her and say "yeah", she can say "yeah" after me occasionally...*pengz*

 

[Viviling]

morning!
Hi Mich,

congrats! Ur boy will have a speedy recovery.

 

[jaez]

michelle,
glad for you that all is well.what's TW?

soh1dful,
i understand how you feel about mil.lucky mine is not that bad and hb very good in the situation.yr hb also sound very good

i'm hokkien so i call my own grandma 'mah3 mah4'.but my hb hakka so call paternal granma poh poh, maternal side wai po.i also feel its inferior to address my mom as wai po and i asked my mom how she want to be addressed, she doesnt seem to mind.and my hb explained that in chinese saying, wai po is actually closer than po po cause a lot of songs and poems that reflect the closeness of wai po compared to po po. so i'm happy with that

i am mama to my boy.funny thing is sometimes when he cry he start by saying 'ma ma..then cry..'don't think he mean it but in laws will say wah know how to call for me when cry. last night after he slept, suddenly woke up and call mama then cry. at first i want to ignore cause sleepy but when he call ma ma i jump up and go to him!

wah...i read this thread till forget to pump milk. overtime liao!

 

[slee75]

oki,
Maybe I will drop the idea of going to bkk....cannot bear to leave baby behind. sigh! Lately, when i got home, he seems to like my maid alot and always smile at her, i'm so jeolous!

 

[slee75]

Fi,

TW = Taiwan

 

[slee75]

michele,
Congrats on the success of yr son's surgery.

poohy,
I hope your family will get well soon.

 

[tinklebell]

Serene,
i thought u r bringing Brayden to BKK.
i'm v tempted to go somewhere for holiday too. thought BKK is a nice idea for a short hol.

 

[mtdt]

michelle - Great news.

MILs - aiyoh.. so many stories on them.. scary!

Duffbuff - notice that there is those ABC mat at one end. the playyard size not exactly the bumper mat huh? I am wondering if i could use a sea horse mattress with the playmat instead.

duffybuff - ok to go ahead with the car thingy.

thanks.

 

[ahblur]

Serene,
my mom told me b4 if ur bb likes ur caregiver a lot and might even prefer her than u. Although we may feel jealous but we shld also be glad, cos it most prob means that our caregiver is taking gd care of the bb tats y bb likes them

 

[toto]

Morning mummies...

mic - glad to know the surgery went well. have a safe trip back to tw!

poohy, sorry to hear sam is down with hfmd. hope joelle is not affected. at least hfmd is not as bad as chicken pox, rite? did sam got infected while at playgroup? my nephew was down with hfmd two weeks back, got that from childcare.

soh1dful, cheer up... at least you have got a supportive hb. that's what matters most, as he is the one whom you will spend the rest of your life with.

lyn, yes, i have enrolled with shichida.

starting Jan 07. hmmm... envy you, can spend all the time you want with Aloy. and on top of that, your mum is there to help you. my mum helps me out at my place Mon - Thurs, will go home on Thurs nite, come back on Mon morning, so I have Fri - Sun totally with bb jake. actually, can be quite tiring, esp when hb working over the weekend.

i would also like to bf jake as long as i can... but these few days... he does not seem very interested during wakey times... very playful...

re: entertaining bb

i have ran out of ideas to entertain jake. yesterday we came to the conclusion that jake is getting tired and bored of his daily routine and his toys. we intend to buy him some new toys this weekend, maybe for older infants. any recommendations?

medusa, hmm... seems like all of us, in one way or another, have some mil stories to share. right now, i am happy with the situation at home, see pil less, less contact. in retrospect, i am glad i set some boundaries, really helped to keep my sanity...

 

[kite~]

just wondering what is the name of the calcium tablet u all buy for BFing? Need at least 1000mg per day rite? calcium lactate? w vitamin D? pls. advise.

Fi:
lol u too engrossed liao. me just came back.

 

[mtdt]

amy - what timing is ur shicida class?
how much huh?

 

[mspiggy]

hi mich,
congrats on the success of the surgery. have a safe trip home.

 

[okipoki]

Hi Mich,

Glad to hear that the surgery was a successful one... have a safe trip home

I will be going BKK next weekend but without bb

 

[okipoki]

Serene,

Hahaha.... if i dont rem wrongly, bb starts to hv stranger anxiety ard 5th to 6th mths onwards. So i better go for a trip 1st...

 

[poohy]

mich,

glad to hear the successful surgery.. do take care

re: hfmd

samuel and joelle and my hb all gotten the hfmd! I brought them to the doc's just now.... ulcers in the mouth is the most painful thing about the hfmd. Samuel got a few and some on his tongue. Joelle is just beginning... high fever yesterday...

tinklebell,

samuel called mama and papa when he was around 11 month or smaller cant remember exact... but dunno whether he calling us.. but by 1 year old, he is calling us daddy and mummy liao.... this 2 words he called very accurate

 

[mtdt]

poohy - wow.. all 3 kenna HFMD!!!
must be real tough for u now. u must take care hor...

 

[okipoki]

Poohy,

Wow.. so sorry to hear that

U must take good care of urself too !!

 

[kite~]

Poohy:
oh dear! Take gd care. How u all contracted hfmd?

 

[happysunflower]

kk,
I have not thought of "mi mi" before... hahaha... My friend said "mi mi" to Aloysius last Sunday and he kept laughing.. Her children call her "mi mi".
hmm... when I do the chinese flashcards, there are "po po, gong gong, ye ye, nai nai". So I suppose in Chinese, paternal grandparents are ye ye and nai nai, maternal grandparents are po po and gong gong.


poohy,
Hope your hubby will get well soon too... You must also take care of yourself.. Drink more water and eat more fruits

duffy,
Your baby's play yard is beautiful... Make me feel like making a play yard too...


Michele,
Glad to hear that Brendan's surgery is a great success

Wish him a healthy boy

Amy,
My mum is very "mobile".. lol.. sometimes when she wanna go for tour or to Penang or KL.. I will have to take care of Aloysius on my own..

I read from Shichida book to give babies balls, different types of textures of cloth, crushed paper, toilet paper, etc... I also have a feeling that Aloysius is getting bored of his toys. Last weekend, my hubby bought a new toy.. very cute one... I am thinking of getting a xylophone and other musical instruments. I think musical instruments have many different sounds and keys.. should be more interesting ba... kekeke.. cos they are interesting to me


kite,
Calcium tablets, if taken too much, or over long term may cause calcification in the kidneys.


Poohy,
Wah... all 3 with HFMD! You must take care of yourself too wor... Hope everything will be better soon...

 

[toto]

poohy, aiyo... so sorry to hear all 3 of you down.

MTDT - my class is on Sat 2.30 pm. Paid $1350 for one term 12 weeks.

Part of it is $300 deposit, and parent's class.

 

[kite~]

bb weight:
my ger was 7kg at 4mths. At 4mths 3wks, she was 7.3kg, so 1 week oni gain 100g ah. PD said she is 75% percentile n the slow gain is normal after 4mths onwards.

Btw my ger nearly triple her weight! imagine she was 2.5kg at birth, now she is 7.3kg

 

[kite~]

lyn:
r u taking any calcium tablets? i think i lack of calcium leh. n i cant drink dairy to replenish cos if i drink my ger wil hv allergy n rashes e next day or immediate reaction.