(2006/01) Jan 2006 MTBs


CL
aiyoh...saw the video clip...showed my DH and he said if this is supposedly our maid, he would break her arms for doing that to his child! Very painful to watch.... it's like the maid snapped or something
 
Hi CL,

You know how old is the kid in the video?

Yup, i won't be able to keep my cool if that were my kids. I would probably beat her up before reporting to the police.

Who can keep cool after seeing that video??!!

Now i worried about leaving my kids alone with the maid next year when i shift back to my own place...............
 
OM Goodness... I cannot finish watching the video!! I'm having tears in my eyes already.
Why did the maid do that to the gals? I'm sure the gal will have brusies on her body? kicked so badly by the maid?
Any justice done? was the maid being arrested? This kind of person cannot be allow to be domestic helper at all...
poor gal...really poor thing.
 
Yuki
If possible do ask your mum or relative to pop by whenever they can.
Seriously I still cannot trust any helper totally to leave my kids with them thats why not matter how unreasonable MIL is or talk behind my back abt me I close both eyes, just need to rant somewhere to let off the steam.

I guess there are good helper out there but we won't know until we employ them rite?by the time we seen it on CCTV, it's too late already. Damage has been done.

My colleague has 4 kids and were taken care by helper when she goes to work. Her kids are bigger now in Primary school but they were younger I think one of the helper actually beat her 2nd daughter and ask her to keep quiet cannot tell my colleague and her 2nd child really kept quiet for fear to get more beating.
I think my colleage knew when her elder son told her later.

I'm sorry if I made you more worry but this is true case I knew and kinda affect me strongly.
 
Hi Cookie,

Yup i have heard stories too. My aunt colleague - her baby was feed cough medicine so that the baby will be drowsy and sleep more hours..........

Ashley will be in P1 next year.... so megan is the small one who look like the kid in the video.... so i cannot imagining that happen. Megan does complain...When the maid stop her from doing somethin etc....she will say the maid bully her.....maybe they learnt these years at my mum's place what is the correct behaviour of a helper...as in they are not suppose to beat them.

But such things happening really anger me........will sure pursue all the way to the police to make sure such maid are never allowed in singapore ever again.

SOmetimes such thing appeared on TV or newspaper, i will say out loud for the helper to hear.........and most important for them to hear the consequences.
 
Yuki
looking at my hyperactive and stubborn aden I oso worried because ha ha if I leave him with helper at home. He probably will drive the helper crazy so maybe the helper will go berserk too.
 
Hi CL,

Sometimes it is very contradictory…….

I think my helper ever raised her voice at the kids. Ashley ‘complained’ to me and the helper came quickly to explain that she was trying to put on clothes for Ashley when she struggle and Ashley pulled her hair. So she raised her voice to tell Ashley “No”. I am sure it is normal reaction when someone pulls your hair……..

I accepted her explanation because I know sometimes the kids are not easy to deal with……… Sometimes I put myself in their shoes and how I will react…….. if under the circumstances the helper cited, I would probably smack Ashley’s hands. But as helper they are not allowed to.

So I took the chance to tell her that she can tell me about their misbehavior and I will correct my child but under no circumstance is she allowed to beat them. But I also tell Ashley in front of the helper that it is wrong to pull her hair and get her to apologise.

Megan can be testing our limits sometimes by lying on the bed to eat…….. If I have full control, I will just let her be and let her go hungry and come out for food when she wants to. But my parents and in laws will feel ‘heart pain’ and keep asking her to eat, to sit properly……….
 
mashy,

elijah is at teeny tiny.. it is a cc at bishan.
cheap and good. The teachers are very understanding and loving.. when i put him there i dun really expect him to learn much but jsut want him to be well taken care of. but the cc suprise me . elijah can do spelling ..
 
I wasnt following the maid abuse child case..
Anyone knows if the parents report maid to police? or if any justice has been done??
through out ytd and this morning, I still can "see" the picture of the maid kicking the child in my mind.. very distrubing.

Yuki
yes same as me, whenever I counsel my helper or talk to her, I always remind her that ONLY I can discipline the children. If they are naughty to her, she must report to me so I can teach them but she cannot beat the children no matter how.
But so far, my children are still alright, have not beat helper yet because they know whats the consequences if they do that or beat any adult out of disrespect.

Kae sometimes dun wan to be changed by helper, she will just No nO no No and cry. If I'm around which usually I will be, I will just take over.
 
I was not following the maid abuse child issue but being a caregiver all these few years makes me realize there's no right or wrong way to upbringing and daily care of child. Getting a maid is "heng/suei" and it really depends on luck. Unlike us, we are always told to walk away to cool down if we have problems managing the kid, or we will confine in frens or throw things. Where can a maid goes when they are being pushed? They probably pushed back unknowingly till it become their downfall. My only one maid was given a certain authority - u can discipline the children but not physically ... there are ways to positively discipline a child. and I found out a small episode where my older son was hitting her while she's bathing him, and my son would never dare to do that to us ... why? they know who they can bully ... n I told her that she should tell me when a bad behaviour occurs, but she did not. And my son is what everyone said is a good, matured boy.

i don't dare to see the entire video ... can anyone update what happened to the child if anyone knows ...

.ky.
 
rena

wah, elijah's so smart. SO is he still there full day, now that you're not working? I'm going to see cambridge @ Mei Hwan tomorrow. Their N2 is huge. 4 teachers to 32 children. Ratio 1:8. so will see if they have activities separately or all together. Having 32 small children in 1 room can go crazy.
 
cookie

according to the newspapers, this was actually very old footage that was shot in malaysia.

I think if i have a maid, it's more to help me, which is to do housework and cook. Don't dare leave my kids alone with a maid. Haha, that's why i made the ultimate sacrifice. Quit my job and stay at home.
 
re maid abuse case
so this footage is long long time one? was wondering whteher it was reported.

mashy
at least your hb agree to let you quit. my hb still wants me to go back to work....

mummies
jh needs to go for op. haven schedule yet as we will be seeing doc next week. he has a water sac in one of his testes so it needs to be removed. it was discovered when i noticed that one of his testicles was bigger than the other and it was noticeably bigger. we went to see GP and was told it was a water sac. so needs surgery to remove. sigh...my headache is that both kids need me at night! my hb said sounds like all of us got to move to hospital when jh is staying there. hopefully my mum can come back to help me with jx at least.
 
Mashy ,
At times if I need to do my own things I will put him till 4pm..
It's tough to have 2 in the house especiay with big e , small can't nap well.. Big e to noisy..

Previously gathering

Forgot to take picture with anita ...
 
SY

Actually my hb was also quite unwilling to let me quit then. It was only when my father agreed to employ me that he said ok. But then, it didn't materialise, so my hb still ended becoming the sole breadwinner. But thru God's grace, He had multiplied my hb's income so that we can cope with a single income. It's still not a lot compared to his peers, but at least it's able to sustain the household. Somehow whenever we need money, God will send some over.
happy.gif
Now we're praying for a bigger house so that C and mei mei can each have their own room. Wonder when that can be done.

Re JH, hopefully it's ok. Coz after all, it was just a GP diagnosis. Perhaps the dr that u see next week might say no need surgery.

Rena
oic. I wonder if i can cope with 2 kids now that so many of u are telling me how hard it's going to be. Going to see Cambridge @ Mei Hwan later with C. Hopefully this one will be ok. Gosh, our expenses are going to sky rocket in Jul & Aug!
 
belinda

My hb has a friend who earns $8k a mth, has 1 kid and says he needs his wife to work coz can't cope with that income. ??????? If my hb earns that much, i think we can shift into a penthouse already. :p
 
Hi Mashy,

‘Sufficient income’ is very subjective I guess. Me too, have friends whose hubby earn more than 10k but still feel insecure of staying at home. Frankly speaking, I am also one of them - not that my late hubby earn more than 10k lah. I like being financially independent I guess. Plus I am not the domesticated type. Was a SAHM for first child for 6 months but didn’t quite enjoy it. Did question myself then if I am a good mother – why don’t I enjoy time with my child…blah blah blah…………

Also have some friends who used to work as sales girls etc, quited their job to look after their own kids as it doesn’t make sense to spend all their income on child care for their kids since they don’t earn much and child care is not exactly cheap. So it’s like one in and one out…….so they might as well look after their own kids as it don’t make economic sense.

Was sharing with a friend the CH8 9pm show ended recently – taxi driver’s wife also can be a stay at home mum……… Ultimately it is whether or not the mother like being a SAHM or not and the type of lifestyle a family wants to maintain…….
 
Hi Mommies,

SY,
poor JH, but its gonna be a minor op right? How many days does he need to stay? When I had L, S was having high fever, and super clingy, so ended up both she and my hb bunked in my room on the last night.. the head nurse closed both eyes and let them stay.

SUnny,
she's going to Faith Monterssori...

Mashy n Belinda,
haha, i think most of the time, when your family income goes up, your family expenses go up too...

QUeen,
Jiayou...
 
well, if u r commanding a very high income, it's also a bigger opportunity cost. one SIL is earning 12-15K maybe? and apparently she works till very late in the office at night. Her girls wear the prettiest dresses, attends the top tuition/enrichment centres, they explore the various restaurants, go for holidays during school hols and recently bought a 2nd-hand 80K car, always buy things for her parents. my MIL is obviously very proud of her ... it's a lifestyle that one can't let go after a while. But if u r a sahm and am surrounded by many similar to you, you'll be encouraged to carry on ... I'm reaching my 5th yr of SAHM job this year, think I should ask for long service award.

Queen,
Jiayou!!!!

.ky.
 
SY,
I also hope for you that your mum can help you with JX, otherwise very tiring for you to shuttle between two places. Even if its day surgery and you can return home, having to juggle both including a probably-in-some-pain JH, very tough too.

KY,
totally agree with you. One of my SIL and her hubby both earn big money but gotta spend more time on work. There was once I heard my nephew asking her if she can come home earlier in future and not stay so late at office.
sad.gif
 
yuki

yah, agree that if you don't like being a SAHM, it's better to just go out and work and be a happy mother than a grouchy SAHM. My mom was a SAHM for a period but she couldn't take it and she turned to gambling. When i was young, i remember wishing that she'll be out working instead.

ky
Haha, yes, u definitely deserve a long service award. Ask your hb for it!

My hb's boss and his wife also high flyer and earn a lot of money. But they hardly spend time with their kids. The kids see them only during the weekends. Sometimes when they go for hol, they don't even bring their kids along. Sometimes wonder like that have kids for what? Does providing material needs means love?

queen
jia you!!!
 
Hi Mashy and ky,

I really ‘peifu’ you guys. Like I said before, having experience being a SAHM myself – I can’t do it.

Like what they mentioned in the newspaper last time, a SAHM works as an educator, a cook, financial controller etc………..no holidays, no leave to take, no bonus, work 24 x 7 etc…

Of course the joy of it is to be able to see every single detail of your child’s progress
happy.gif
 
Yuki
I agreed with you. When I worked from home for 2 years, I am more sane on the days I went in to office. The other days when I have to look after 2 myself , I looks like I going to snapped or going lala.

Then now ha ha trying to make up to them by preparing bento and baking.
 
Yuki,Masy,
i dun think i ever stayed at home very long. The longest was also 2mth maternity leave.
Now what i am facing is every monday morning..damien will cry and ask me not to go and work.
 
Belinda

Haha, my boy did that to my hb when he was younger. Will scream and wail for his daddy not to go to work. But now that we go out together in the morn (I send them to mrt/sch), he's quite ok already. Even during the sch hols when he wakes up, first thing he'll say to me is 'daddy go work'.
 
Queen
Congrats to your lil prince.

Mashy, Belinda
ha ha aden will cry 2 x in the morning.He will cry when he wake up during the period I waiting for school bus with Charmaine, he will "mummy bring jie jie wait for school bus" then when i am changing him and daddy went off, he also cry and must go out together " daddy drive the car down". He already knew where we are and what we are doing mah still have to cry. sigh
 
Mine will say bye to daddy and will ask if he's going to work on weekend. It's a routine that the kids are used to. Actually, I'm not brave enough to go out to work... when I said that in temper to my boys, my older boy would said he wants me to stay home and look after them. I think I don't have the heart to say bye to them to go to work. Even now, I don't go out alone, either one comes with me if hubby babysit the other ... n actually hor, I'll miss my older son when he's in school... very silly right.

Queen, congrats! your delivery's quite fast hah ...
.ky.
 
aiyo..i am not alone.
i remembered when duncan was 3yr old..he also did the same thing...but now he will ask me instead why i am not going to work i...
 
When Charmaine was 3, I was working with the bank and everyday work till very late. Once even 2 am, got a call and say " you know what time, you not coming home ah"

That period , I even got cold shoulder from Charmaine who says it is ok she can stay at my mum place no need mummy. So I wake up my idea and quit ha ha
 
Hi mummies,

We just came back from a very enjoyable hols in Australia. It was really great. Charmaine enjoyed the trip so much.

CL,
So glad that your mum's okay now - just saw the posting.

Queen,
Congrats!

Mashy, ky,
Actually I really admire the SAHMs. For us, it's not really the money since I don't earn a lot but rather. I am a better person if I work. That's why the current part-time arrangement really works very well.
 
Belinda,
Thanks for informing the rest here.
happy.gif


Hello mummies,
My single premium room in TMC is quite cool. There is a screen & keyboard for internet access!
Thanks for the Jiayou encouragement although I can only see them now.
happy.gif
 
CONGRATS Queen!!
Welcome to the Moo Moo club again.
What's the name for your #2 ? Rest well and enjoy the new renovated room.
 
Birth Story while it's fresh in my mind:

5am: Woke up due to feeling trickle of water. Quickly got up and went to toilet to check. Panty liner has pinkish stains. Water bag burst. Gush of water rush out when I stood up, grabbed toilet papers to try to stop the gush and quickly changed into pad. Wake my HB.

6am: Brought Isaac over to my ILs and head for TMC.

6.30am: Waiting at reception to be do registration. When it's finally my turn and told receptionist that my water bag has burst, she said go straight to labour ward. No need to register now! My HB was like, how come nobody told us about this, and we were like waiting for 20 mins at the Reception!

7.00am: Nurse did all the checks, gave me ecnema and told HB to go do admission. I'm leaking a lot of water. Dilation only 1.5cm.
sad.gif

Nurse monitor fetal heartbeat and contractions and say I'm getting contractions almost every 5 mins now. But I don't feel any of it, unless it's strong one, but even that, I could do without deep breathing.

8am: My OB, Dr. Ang is in TMC doing his rounds of checking on his patients and he came by. First thing he said to me (jokingly) was "Thank you for not waking me up at 5am! I managed to get another 2 hours of sleep!" Then he said he always tell patients to call him at the 1st sign of labour so when he heard that my water bag burst at 5am, he was surprised that I didn't call him. I didn't think there was a need, since I know labour will not start unless I have contractions. So might as well go TMC first. Anyway, he did VE for me, I'm only 3cm dilated.
sad.gif
He say I will deliver between 12pm to 1pm.

9am-11am - Contractions are stronger and closer. And I need to pee almost every hourly. The 4th time I asked for the bedpan to pee, the nurse told me that I'm not peeing much, it's just the baby and contractions applying a lot of pressure on my bladder. She asked whether I can try to hold. ok.. I tried. Possible. So no peeing anymore.
Midwife checked dilation - ONLY 4cm!!! I'm so disappointed!
She gave me gas, and ask whether I had epidural for Isaac. I said no. Then she told me to let her know if I want the Pethadine injection. I said I will try to go without. The pain is getting worse. HB asked whetehr I want injection or even epidural. I hesitated. EPIDURAL keep flashing in my mind. Finally I gritted my teeth and said No. Midwife asked me whether I'm sure that I don't want injection. She says it was help ease the pain. I said no.

11.30am HB massaging my back in-between contractions. The contractions are BAD now. I', tearing whenever a bad one hits. Teh gas is not helping at all to relief the pain, but it's a cluth for me and it helps to regulate my deep breathing.

12 noon - A very bad contraction hits. I'm now moaning and groaning. Suddenly I felt a urgent need to pass motion (baby want to come out liao). This is IT! I told my HB I need to push liao and he opened the door to call for midwife.
She came in, and did VE, said I'm 8cm dilated! Wow! 4cm dilation in 1 hour!!!

12-12.30pm - Midwife and nurse got the setup ready. Midwife is rubbing my thighs, HB is holding my hand. I'm crying from the pain. Midwide, keep telling to to breathe the gas. IN-OUT, IN-OUT. Dr. Ang is on the way. She says she is all ready to deliver for me if Dr. Ang does not come in time, told me not to worry, just breathe in-out, in-out. All the time rubbing my thighs... it's very reassuring. I remember feeling very grateful that she's there. She asked a nurse to call Dr. Ang and checked if he is 5 mins away. Nurse said, Dr. Ang is at Car Park already. I'm SO relieved.
All this time, the contractions come and every time, there is a HUGE need to push. It feels like I had a BAD constipation and need to force out the baby!

12.40pm - Dr. Ang is here. He got ready and propped me up with the midwife. Asked me to Push with every contractions. I'm really moaning and crying now, closed my eyes, whenever contractions hit. Through the pain, I could feel my HB holding my hand... he stroked my hair and kissed me on forehead a few times while I'm pushing. Midwife told me to stop groaning cos I'm pushing through my throat that way. I immediately shut up and concentrated on pushing down towards my anus. I gripped my HB's arm tight and ONE push!

12.52pm - Baby is OUT. Dr. Ang stitched me up. I think he didn't have time to do episiotomy... I might have torn a bit while delivering. Need to check with Dr. Ang... He also collected cord blood, I'm donating baby's cord blood.

Baby boy is borned 36 weeks 5 days (2 days premature) but he's healthy. Weight 2.68kg. Tentative name for now is Matthew, Chinese name is Kai-Jie.
happy.gif


Long story... I hope I didn't bore you!
 
Congrats Queen! Welcome Matthew! What an exciting birth story...was gripping my chair as I read it
happy.gif
Reminded me of mine...
 
Wow..Queen..u are a brave mummy.
Good Job *pat*

My water bag was leaking when I reach TMC too. I approched one of the guy staff and tell him my gynae ask me to go delivery ward immediately. He ask why? I say water bag leaking. He rushed me up asap and we did not register. When I am in the preparation room, my hb came down to register. I think if I didn't call my gynae, I will be queueing up as well.
 
Congrats Queen!

You definitely didn't bore me a single bit! Very brave of you to do it without any epi. How I wish I had such a natural birth story to tell. Was Issac also borned via natural birth? Thot he was delivered via csect leh. If so, then ur #2 is ur 1st natural birth & its quite fast wor.

Rest well & happy moo-ing again! :D
 
congrats queen! you're so brave to have natural delivery!!

SY, my son went thru the surgery when he's 1 yr old to remove the water in testical. it's a day surgery, we admit him in the morning and discharge around 5pm. only hard part was to fast him.. he recover well also. need not worry so much.
happy.gif
 
mummies
thanks for the concern for JH. hope that he will take it well

oily
how did u discover your son's condition? i wished i had discover it earlier. cos now that he is older it wd be harder for him.

queen
wow very brave of u! welcome to little matthew.
 


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