(2006/01) Jan 2006 MTBs

Sunny
Me too.. watch half way of 1.. I gave up.

<font color="ff0000"><font size="+2">Wishing ALL mommies HAPPY CNY and Gong Xi Fa Cai in advance!!!</font></font>
 


Sunny,
Hee Hee you still bumping around ah. When edd huh ?

Cookie, sunny
I cannot sleep last nite. I keep having that flashback of the maid ill treating the baby. I think why baby always cry must be very horrified to keep seeing the maid's face
 
SY,

i ever read an article that child below 2 is not advisable to get off the rack medicine. Alothough JH has just reached 2..better not take the risk.

Did you apply vick for him?
 
babylon
not get off the rack. will ask the pharmacist to recommend. of cos i dun trust myself to make the recommendations.

i did apply the vicks rub for him etc but no use. think the cough medicine he is taking now can't get rid of his phlegm
 
Good morning mummies,

Yesterday was my 1st day in NUS. My colleagues are friendly and nice, so it's a good start. Already, my boss has given cases to handle and I know next to nothing about them. He'll have to hand hold me for a while...

Re. maid
a lot of discussion about maids... nothing much to contribute cos never had one and I doubt I'll employ one. Would rather put Isaac in full time child care if #2 comes along. But of every bad maid cases, there are also good ones. I have a few friends who have had good maids for years. So it's really heng suay.
I didn't dare to watch the maid abuse videos... before giving brith, it takes a lot to move me to tears, I hardly ever cried. But since Isaac is borned, I tear so easily. Don't know why leh... So I think I'll cry if I see the video.

Re. Terrible Twos
My MIL has been complaining that Isaac is getting so naughty, throw tantrums and things, always badger them to bring him downstairs (they think that he wants to go down and play and then wait downstairs for me and HB to come home), picky about food (sometimes Isaac will tell my MIL that he wants to eat mee sua, then after she cooked it, he doesn't wnat it anymore) etc. But me and HB think that he doesn't behave that way with us leh. I mean, sure, Isaac is being more stubborn and will throw tantrums, but we didn't think it was that terrible. Not sure if it's because me and HB has high tolerance... My MIL says that's because we only care for him 2 days a week.

Zhimin,
Don't worry... are your on TBF? Isaac had jaundice close to a month! After being wared for phototherapy at KK, he had to do jaundice check every week. I think it is related to breastmilk jaundice, which is harmless. One GP that I have seen suggested supplementing with 50% FM to reduce jaundice. I didn't really wnat to do so and only gave FM once a day for like 3 days and then went back to TBF. Just have to do the sunning and monitor closely.
 
SY,

why dun you go back to the doctor to get another medicine instead?

Damien also encounter the same problem before with a lot of phlegm. I gave him a bit of Hou Ning San from EYS.
 
CL

Wah, u watched all 6? I could barely finish one and i already cannot take it. Yah, watched the news last night. I guess coz she's a maid, so can out on bail lor. In case the embassy complain.
 
Mashy
Ya, me and hb watched all 6 and we keep scolding her till my kids all came to watch together. Even Charmaine goes aiyo and Aden just keep pointing at the yao lan. But of course i could not sleep well last nite with the scenes keep flashing back. My hb even ask me if I am still going to employ maid
 
SY

I remember i went to Mt A once when my boy was coughing very badly. The dr gave a med that can dissolve the phlegm and let it come out with the poo. Very effective coz my boy also couldn't cough out the phlegm. But sorry, can't remember the name. It's powder form and mixed with water. Maybe someone here knows?
 
CL
You shouldn't let one bad case affect your decision. I've had several maids since young and none of them are like the odd one out u saw. In fact, in Singapore, most maids were abused by their employer, seldom the other way round. However, its a good idea to install a hidden camera at home.

What I did to monitor my maid when she first came was I stayed at home with her for the first week and observe her behaviour. I had always wanted to install a hidden cam at home but my hb was against it. If the maid is mentally unstable, you should be able to tell from their behaviour in a few days. Never leave your children with them alone during the first few days. If you live near your parents or in laws, ask them to pop by frequently, at no fixed time, to check on the maid. If they're aware that anytime someone will come over to monitor them, they're also less likely to be up to no good.

After a few weeks, you should be able to tell if the maid can be trusted or not.
 
Mamapanda
True. I am not affected because I am not ready to let the maid go solo with my kids. Just upset with the maid doing such a thing to the baby
 
mamapanda

actually i saw on the news, the mother said that the maid behaved normally and appeared to dote on the baby. But does that behind their back. So I really doubt that observing at home for 1st week helps. I'm still for the hidden camera. Imagine if the parents didn't do that, they won't even know that their baby was abused coz the maid always seemed ok.
 
i have no problem to let me kids to stay with the maid alone.
If the maid did anything to them..of coz duncan will tell me..
Damien also learn how to complaint...when i reached home, he will tell me what my parents done to him..
eg like Gong Gong scold scold me..or Po Po beat beat me..and he will show me where did she smack him.
 
mashy, CL
yes, sometimes, if the maid is a devious one, it can be hard to detect signs of mental instability. That's why hidden cameras and asking parents/in-laws/neighbours to pop by and check is good if you have to goto work, agree?
 
mamapanda

ya ya. but i guess for myself, i'll never be able to leave my boy alone with a maid. That's why I rather quit my job and have a lower std of living in the first place.
 
RE: Maid Abuse
I am shocked to see the video. Dun dare to see the rest of it.

Babylon,
Same here for my complaint Queen. She will tell me where my mum beat her. She will also admit that she beat her frens in school.
 
Wow sooo many posts yesterday.

Zhimin,
Thanks, I'm feeling beta already. You must be very tired looking after Declan..do rest more when possible.

SY,
The potent foods that trigger my hubby's gout are duck, sotong, soyabean products. Nuts...if he over indulges in them. I heard that cherries can help reduce the uric acid level but these days can't find cherries in supermart to help him.

CL,
hmmm..my SIL also said Meg is soooo sticky cos #2 is coming along. But Meg has always been sooo sticky to daddy since she was born. So i told him, he owe her something from the past life lah. hahahaha...

Re: Maid Abuse
Ya, saw it featured on news last night. My ILs were watching it and horrified. My MIL has a very strange reaction to such things. Instead of being horrified like 'oh no! aiyo!'...she giggles instead and go 'why like dat...' faintz
 
mashy,
are you referring to Flumicil? The powder to dissolve phlegm?

queen,
good to hear that you are settling well in your new job! good start to the year.
 
Hi Mummies

Has been MIA for long time..

Babylone
Thanks for your SMS about our birthday bash has change... I was unable to log in on the day.

RE: Maid
I felt heart pain after see the news...I will slap the maid if this happen to me...

RE: Good News
My citizenship has been approved
happy.gif



RE: Job

I was sick for 4 days with high fever and infection on throat. Thanks God...today is better. This beginning of the year are good start for me. I got incremental of 70% and got my citizenship
happy.gif
....
Although get better paid but I will be busy for future as in-charge for international logistic with customer + office work.
Hb also back from Korea on last 25 Jan..although he will need to go back to korea in this year.
 
linda

seems like lately a lot of pp getting sick. Probably the weather.

Congrats on being a S'pore Citizen! Hahah!! We citizens are trying to migrate and u come here. Hahaha.

Wow! 70% increment! That's awesome!
 
Linda
wow I have never heard of 70% increament before!

Tracy
your MIL do sound a bit funny..
I bet if I'm with my MIL.. she will condemn big time and remind us do not trust maid. and confirm again she is right not to trust them at all.
 
Linda... Congrats on your Citizen ship...


Mummies...

Went for scan yesterday.. I am having a boy again....

I am having the 2 boys symptom...hahah

Pregnacy seem so diffcult but same gender so i think the old wives tale are not true.
 
CL
ya, still around. haha.. not yet pop. the baby hasn't engaged yet. so, i guess not so soon bah. :D

linda
congrats!

rena
can save $ on buying baby clothes. :D

queen
me too. after giving birth, i got more emotional when comes to kids thingy.
my gal almost behaved the same thing as isaac. When we cook rice, she wants porridge. when we cook porridge, she want rice or noodle.... but, once she knows that she's taking the same thing as us, she would happily finish the food.
 
linda
congrats on your citizenship and new job!

re maids
true that it is hard to tell if they are really mentally unstable. but these things will show over time one. hard to hide. and there are still good ones ard too.

mashy, tracy
thanks. i will go and ask abt it. JH is getting better but once he wakes up, he can't get back to sleep cos of the cough and phlegm.
 
Rena
then the clothes you bought for Elijah not wasted mah. 2 boys got 2 boys fun lah.

Linda,
My very standard one. First 2 days mad house going around visiting. This year better as I go on my own timing because my parents cannot visit since my paternal grandma just passed away last year. So I will still go but no time constraint on what time must reach where.
 
linda

mine also rather standard, first 2 days visiting. Good thing that my father doesn't bother me else I'll go crazy. One MIL is enough already. She kind of expects me to follow her. Totally 'forgot' that i've my relatives to visit too. That's why always say my SIL has it easy. We bear the full brunt of everything, from CNY visiting to having a baby etc. They don't bother her as much as they bother me.
 
CL, Mashy

Mine also the same as previous year. 1st day go to FIL relatives and afternoon go to MIL relatives house till evening. And 2nd day is going back to Bintan in the early morning with hb and Gracie in the early morning and this yr I got mine ferry at 09:15am so reach my mum house is 11:00am
happy.gif
and come back on 11 Feb.

RE: Business Trip
I just got a call from hb...bad news
sad.gif
his boss request him to fly back to Korea on 13 February...
But he must back before 29 February as I need him for my citizenship process in Immigration.
Like that how to have RAT baby horrrr :p
 
HI mummies
Wow so many postings. Pity I can't watch the youtube video from my current workplace, can only surf internet and check forum and emails.

Maid abusing child
Think must really see what's the situation. Could be also sometimes the employers ill-treat the maid emotionally and mentally via verbal means that could cause the maid to snap. Then again, it's a matter of like what queen mentioned, heng-suay.

linda
Many congrats to your getting citizenship and pay increment! 70% is like Wow!!

Sept03bride
Can understand your heartpain in disciplining Caleb, but sometimes no choice. Have to do it once in a while, so that they will know that they cannot push their boundaries.

Tantrumous Twos
I noticed that D was throwing his share of tantrums during the 1st two weeks of starting half-day PG. Keeps whining and very rude to us and my mom, wanting things his way and snatching things from us. So we had no choice but to discipline him and not give in to him. Sometimes use the "Mr Cane", sometimes use the time-out method, depending on situation.

I personally believe that though this might be a phase which they will pass through but it's also a character shaping phase. If we don't "arrest" their defiant mode even after talking to them nicely and warning them, it will well be carried over into their growing up years. Now it's a time where they are pushing their boundaries and testing to see what's our reaction.

If they were to whine and cry and scream, will we run to give in to them just to shut them up or will we discipline them? Coz if they notice that they are able to trigger the 1st response according to their means...they will surely continue to do that to "wrap us around their little fingers"...so to speak. Of course we'll need to see what triggered their trantrums...were they over-stimulated, cranky because of not enough sleep, etc etc. Have to assess situation lah....if we know that they are being deliberate...like what Dr James Dobson (A famous christian family doctor/writer who specializes in family life) wrote in his book, "If they (our toddlers are looking for a challenge DO NOT DISSAPOINT them."
 
Rena,
Congrats on having another boy !!

RE: CNY visiting
My CNY also first 2 days visiting. But this yr most likely will have changes as we have a car now. I got a sign that my MIL will want us to send her here and there for visiting. If relatives still ok. I think she want us to send her to distant relatives and old neighbours house. I will faint !!

Linda,
Must grab ur hb fast. Rat baby going to end in March already.

RE: Number 2
My hb is pretty fickle minded in having 2nd child. I really envy u all with supporting hb to help out in housework and looking after the kids. I have been doing all these myself while looking after Jamie. I popped the qn to hb last night and tell him if got number 2, he got to help me with housework and kids. This morning got a "NO" answer from him. He say he prefer to have only 1 child. How to persuade him? If force him, I will die cos got to handle two kids and housework.

Maid is a NO NO as I am against of a stranger staying with me. My plan is to get PT maid to help on sat. For wkdays, Jamie will change to Full Time CC and #2 will go my mum's hse. Really dunno how to convince him to have #2.

My MIL is giving me pressure and ask me to have a grandson to pass down the heir. She knows that my hb dun want 2nd kid, even offer $20K to "exchange" for one. STRESS man.
 
Mamachan,
I totally agree with you on disciplining. Whenever Isaac throw tantrums or cry after I scold / smack his hand, I'll just let him cry and ignore him for some time. My MIL will rush to him and comfort him after I scold him and say 'mummy / daddy scold, Ma-Ma sayang'. I'm so pissed when she does that cos I feel that she's undermining what I'm trying to do. And she can still sing different tune about how Isaac is so naughty nowadays, must scold and beat him and when I'm disciplining him, she wants to act the good guy?

May,
Tough... it takes 2 to make a baby. What is you HB's main concern about having #2? Hahah... actually if your MIL wants to give you $20k for having no. 2 (can be any gender right?), then take it lah!
happy.gif
 
Rena
Congrats on your #2 for being a boy! Like that good, Elijah's nice clothes can all pass down to di-di. Take care and don't tire yourself out. Maybe can consider have #3 and hopefully will be a girl. hahaha.

queen
hahaha, maybe you can consider this method to make sure MIL don't interfere. When we scold D at home and my MIL happen to be visiting, could tell she wanna sayang him. He turn towards her wanting comfort and someone to take his side but I will quickly say firmly "No! NOt even Mah-mah will help you because you are in the wrong!" So my MIL just quiet and walk away, won't try to interfere le. Even D will look for my helper and I will also say the same thing that auntie will not sayang him. I've already told my helper that when we discipline, she's not to "undo" what we're doing but just reinforce that he's in the wrong.

So D very poor thing....no one to sayang him duriong disciplining. But he's very quick to make-up to us...he'll come running to us wanting a hug and kiss. Only then when he's settled, we'll explain in a nicer and warmer tone that why we discipline him and why he cannot behave the way he does.
 
May
actually my hb also doesn't help out much. fortunately i have maid for the housework and helping me out. My hb is workaholic so can't expect much help from him. in fact i was telling a fren i want #3 if possible and she said if she's me, she won't have cos my hb doesn't help much.

hee, ask your MIL to go and pester your hb. it is not your decision alone mah. tell her u wan but your hb dun wan then ask her to go and 'do her job'.....

queen, mamachan
yeah sometimes the old folks give in to the kids so fast....yesterday when JH was crying at home and my maid called, my mum kept telling me to give in to his request for biscuits even when he hasn't finish lunch. i refused and said we cannot make it a habit. she seems to think that my way of disciplining is wrong. kept telling me to pacify him first and let him eat his lunch blah blah blah. but i told her he is already misbehaving these few days cos he was sick and if i give in at this stage, i can't arrest that behavior now. rather do it sooner and less damage than have a bigger racket from JH later. in a way, i m thankful that the grandparents dun look after him everyday. if not he sure very spoiled one. i even got scolded for smacking JH's hand before from my parents.
 
Mamachan
Good way of discipline. For me I will make Charmaine tell me where she goes wrong since she is older. For Aden, I feel no matter how hard I explain he not listening but he will offer his palm for me to beat then will offer another palm. Dunno if he understand or not

May,
Having #2 is not just pop the baby leh. Your husband maybe afraid of the commitment etc. Ha ha My hb took a while to be ready to be daddy for first kid. Then even longer to get over the crying for first few months , commitment of a daddy. Then sending Charmaine to play school , etc even put him off for having a second kid. You must be patient and wait till he is ready and he will pop the plan B himself. Only that time he does not feel he is being forced into it and you should be able to get help. I can see my hb help a little bit more compared to the first kid
 
Wah, you gals can really tahan your hb not helping u. If my hb doesn't help me, i'll divorce him already. The family consists of him too, so he is expected to help. that is basic. If he doesn't help, then I don't need him around either. It's 21st century already and their mindset is still so ancient.

Well, i guess that's love, just give and give. You give, he takes. I don't like to just give, I wanna take too.

May
If i'm you, i won't have 2nd kid. Coz if hb not interested in having another one, it'll just cause a greater rift to 'force' him. And he doesn't even want to help. tsk tsk tsk....
 
Rena - Congrats!

May - If HB is not prepared, then I sugg not to have 2nd one until he is ready. He will hold it against u &amp; #2 if he's not prepared. On top of that, U may also hold it against him &amp; #2 if laden with looking aft both &amp; the housework. Honestly, 20k is not worth the entire hassle just to please the ILs.

Queen/Mamachan - Hee hee...no one dares to interfere when I discipline Cephas. However, I do allow my ILs to sayang him aft he has apologised for his misdeed. Give my ILs face because can see their kancheong look.

Baby abuse clip - I saw 2 mins &amp; that was it for me. Cldn't bear to continue watching it aft seeing the way she shook him up from his sleeping position. Poor baby. Hope he's fine.

Linda - Congrats! Got yr pink IC! Haha...
 
Rena,
Congratz on another boy! Can save $ on clothes and Elijah gets a bro to play with!

May,
I guess you gotta ask hb why he doesn't wan #2. Can't be simply jus becos he doesn't wanna help with housework right? That part can always hire a PT maid. Can't force him for #2 too. later he totally hands off and you are the one to suffer.

Queen, SY,
Meg also tends to be more whiny at my ILs place. Ystrdy, she rejected rice and wanted cereal so MIL cooked for her. Then halfway eating she wanted to walk away. I jus told her a stern no and she cried her lungs out. FIL immed came and said never mind lah, dun eat liao, come i carry. I told him no, she stays here. Then BIL come and offer to carry her too and i also said no. Eventually she realise no choice, she stopped crying.

Could see my MIL and FIL giving me disapproving looks but they won't dare say anything esp since my hb is on my side. Thankfully my hb supports me cos he knows wat Meg is like.
 
Mashy
u so funny...will divorce your hb if he doesn't help u.... then i shd have done that long ago to my hb. to be fair he did offer more help when i wasn't feeling well since preggy with #2. but his work takes up so much time during weekdays that the help has since dwindled and he is so tired that i have to do everything myself.

tracy
hee, last time my il will also say stupid things when they discipline JH. so i always tell them cannot dun discipline. next time the father will beat him when he misbehave so they are the ones who caused him to be beaten by the father. think they feel more pain that the father will cane him and now my mil will side us when we discipline him...my fil still gives in to him but thankfully he not that naggy as my mil so dun open mouth so much.

my mum will also say need to discipline but my dad is really one who will spoil the kid. i can understand that cos they never beat us when we were kids so they are not subscribers of caning and beating. so i dun expect them to approve of us caning or beating. but nowadays when my mum sees JH really naughty, she also say must use the cane to scare him sometimes...

sysac
hee, i know my il quite scared of me actually cos i will tell them off when they are wrong. i know i shouldn't but i can't wait for hb to do that cos my hb will never open his mouth to tell them off. he can't stand their nagging so he rather shut up. stupid right....
 
SY/Tracy - Hee hee...u r brave
happy.gif
If I m at my ILs, I'll bring Cephas to the room to discipline. It's my Hb who will do it on the spot &amp; then his parents will interfere &amp; then he'll tell his parents not to. When that's the equation, I let them be
happy.gif


At my parents' place, my mum will discipline him as well. She won't beat him but she'll talk to him. He wld then say "Sorry mama" and then my dad wld sayang him. If we discipline him at my parents, no one interferes cos they respect our decision as parents.

A home, when 1 of us disciplines him, the other party will not interfere until the entire issue is over. Then, the other party will sayang him. We do not want him to feel rejected for doing wrong.
 


congrats rena...boy can really save money...all the past down clothes...too bad my damien is so small build that he can't fit in alot of his brother's clothes.
 

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