(2002) Any 2002 babies?

jOL

if you do not have time to coach your boy, he will probably benefit more from private 1-1 tuition rather than a group setting with a pre-set syllabus like Berries. At least the private tutor can tailor the pace based on his progress, start slower initially & progress faster to P1 level once he develops an interest in Chinese

The most difficult part is to find a good tutor & one your boy takes a liking. For young kids, if they didn't like the teacher, very hard to love the subject.

dd1 attended a trial at Berries recently too. Didn't enrol her.
 


hippo2002,
my ex-boss' sahw produced 2 top notch kids, one went to RI, one to RGS, both then went to RJC and then one proceeded to clich an SAF scholarship and convinced them to let him to Law (the other did engineering in a local uni) but my ex-boss is only a diploma holder...i think his wife who earn more and has a higher position than him (working in the bank) gave it up to sah for the kids. guess it pays off in a major way. i've also seen some duo income family's kids who do very in school...it is in the genes too, to produce smart kids that is very self-motivated.

ssmmummy,
i thought there are some discussion on MPM some time ago? you might want to refer to the history..i am not sure.

jOL,
ya, hippo2002 is right. reinforcement is needed if you going for berries classes. but then again, 1-1 tuition can kill a kid's interest in the subject if it is boring...
 
fz

very heartwarming to hear about your ex-boss sahw's success story
happy.gif


I was drawing a slightly bigger pay cheque than hubby before leaving the workforce. heartpain heartpain.
Sincerely hope my sacrifices will pay off in the long run

double income kids must have good family support to supervise them closely & enforce discipline. my parents too lax & lenient, cannot be entrusted this tedious task


caroline, fz

Agreed genes play an important part. I think my brother is simply born smarter than me. I need to burn mid-night oil just to get 6As for my O level. He shakes legs & easily scored 7As. My mom attributes this uneven distribution of intelligence to not eating enough tonic when she was pregnant with me
wink.gif
 
hippo & fz,
my boy shows interest in chinese after goin to berries. when i asked him, he said he doesnt like his kindergarten chinese lesson. he likes berries cos its more interesting. he's the kind who dun speak mandarin. even his sch chinese teacher comment that he often reply her in english.

his icreative lesson is held at the teacher's house. he said he prefer goin to berries cos its a 'proper school'. i suggested chinese home tuition, he said that would be very boring!
 
hippo2002,
6As? Impressive! so in a away, do you have the same hopes for your dds? :p
I had mediocre results right up until O'levels...always seems to be in the 'middle' of the class (21/42...22/44 position ie)...doesn't really like studying cos i don't understand the syllabus. only did pick up on my studies after i go into course specialization.

j0L,
ya...kids like the interactions. maybe you can get him to strike a deal with you...if he improves significantly, you call of the private tuition idea..if not, you then withdraw him to put him into private tuition.
 
hippo,
wow! 6As very impressive wor. like fz asked, are u expecting the same for yr dds? recently, the 294 malay girl hit the headlines for the psle results and i asked my hubby, what kind of expectation he has for the kids. cos he himself was one of top students whereas i always struggled to stay on the borderline. He said at least above average, cos he dont agree in pressurizing the kids to study. I share the same thoughts with him but the prob is, like some of u said genes play an impt role. So I hope my kids will get MORE of my hubby's genes! :p
 
fz,
haha.. thats exactly what i told him last night. i said if he dun revise at hm, n i dun see improvement, i'll withdraw him fm berries n get him private tutor.
 
j0l,
to be honest, as a FTWM, it is tough to put aside time to coach the kids. So i hv sorta put up a timetable for ds and so far he's been following. During the day at my mil's house, he will do a page of chinese writing and read chinese books. When I'm bk home around 8pm, I will sit with him to do some assignments for an hour. I also started him on spelling recently. And TV is strictly no-no at nite. Even sch hols also not spared. He did qn me why he cant play day and nite during sch hols, I explained to him my concerns abt preparing him for P1, etc and he accepted it. So far he's been good. *keeping fingers crossed*

I once asked myself if I can give up my job and be a SAHM. Till now, I am still not sure. Maybe I am selfish bah, didnt put my kids' interest before my own. keke
 
hippo, fz, jol, ssm
Hippo, getting 6As is very good! I was bottom few when in RGPS & RGS. My results were good enough (no tuition) to get into RGS but wasn't good enough to go to RJC. From P6 to S1, it was great jump, more subjects and coming from Chinese speaking family, Literature kills, I also hate Geography (also no tuition) and not inclined in arts & home economics. My results went back to normal when I switched to Poly, doing subjects of my interest.

Coming from RGPS, I know it is very tough for my girl. In P1 & 2, I was very discipline to revise homework with her every day without fail. Strictly no watching TV. Her results no so good, probably due to follow daddy's genes and also the syllabus are very different & tough compared to our times. So you see, it is not just mummy monitoring (ie afternoon session, she slept till 10am at nanny house, morning session, she naps).

At P1 parent teacher conference, the Chinese form teacher commented need to read widely. We asked her how, she said watch TV (not many chinese storybooks in Popular). We were like "ha, isn't it contrary to our belief?". Anyway, we heed her advice. Of course, select programmes suitable for their age. I think from there, it helps a little though not sure which aspect, definitely not writing part. Maybe understand how sentences are phrased and maybe some creativity in compo?And now upper primary, watching news, though sometimes don't understand. At least aware of current events like the paddlers drown in Cambodia.

I think having worked for so long, staying at home not only no money (ie enrichment courses are expensive, many things/bills have to pay), but also I may not be a good housewife, also up till certain stage, I may not know how to solve Maths problems.
 
ssm, fz, caroline

hehe, thanks for the compliment! maybe with an extremely smart sibling, I always feel like an average kid even though I was the top few in my class every year. Just irk me to see minimum effort from my brother while I must struggle to keep up with my studies. I try to be mindful not to compare my kids although I find it quite hard not to compare, human nature lah

yeah, I expect them to be top few in class too. Is this too high an expectation? oh dear!
dd1 has super high expectation of herself so I have been telling her to relax instead. At least I never cry even if I don't get perfect score. It's not the end of the world, just try harder next time lor

Hubby & I are strong in Chinese, Mathematics & Science subjects but English is a headache, we will need external help eventually
 
hippo
my husband always ask/pressure me in one way or another, to quit. Like in another thread which you share, one mummy said her son keeps falling sick when in infant care and don't know whether it is God's will that once she became SAHM, her child never fall sick. My son also falls sick fequently in child care. Now he is taken care by MIL and only comes back during the weekends and my husband stay there twice a week to help take care and company him.

It is not easy to get high paying job and things are really expensive now. It is not easy to half all expenditure. what if cannot make it?

S'poreans (adults and childen) have stress. It seems holidaying is a way to de-stress. Holidaying also needs money. What happens if quit and have quarrels over money? Children are still young. They would need a sum of money for education later. We as adults also cannot depend on CPF for retirement. for all you know we may never get the sum eventually going by the current changes of rules.

My mum used to tell me, women must be financially independent, in case anything happens. That's why I insist on working.

Of course, I am not against the reasons for SAHM, above is just my personal view. I also want to coach my son's homework (when P1 comes) but mean time, no choice. I ever read some article before, if cannot cope, seek help. Though it is not me but my husband who seeks his mum for help, she is better in taking care of children than me. I don't have patience.

It is less than half yr that my son stays with MIL. I can feel that he misses me very much. No choice, my girl's nanny doesn't want him. And Daddy wants to build up his immunity system before entering P1.
 
caroline3sg,
ya..i understand the pressure. i faced the same pressure to quit when i was thrown a ultimatum...to have a second kid means quiting my job. at that same time, ds1 is having difficulty adapting to kindergarten..and it is killing me...quarrels started, it then seems like the best solution is for me to quit my job.

A year has since passed, my ex-boss is offering me a part time position. MIL is willing to babysit for 3 afternoons a week but i have yet to convinced husband that it is worth my effort and time away from kids to plunge myself back into the rat race, albeit still being a part timer.
 
a child only has her first 3 years once. I was almost 30 years old when I left the workforce. I was thinking at that time, if I'm retiring at age 55, I will have another 25 years of working life, taking a few years off doesn't hurt. Now I feel I may really be home for good. Sigh...it's not only the first 3 years. dd1 will be 6 years old in Jan and I think she's still very reliant on me. Not forgetting dd2 the superglue

SAHM is a difficult path unless you have 200% support from hubby, both financially and emotionally. I do encounter difficulties in handling my headstrong girl & lost confidence at times. emotional support from spouse is very important.

hubby & I attended a 'fei yue' parenting talk together when dd1 was around 1 year old. hubby was so convinced by the speaker that he actually asked me to consider staying at home

In US, or other developed countries, 1 parent will stay at home with their kids, some even home school them. No maids allowed. sometimes, I think that arrangement is better for the kids, compared to the more cost effective option of sending kids to childcare or having maids as caregivers. Parenting simply cannot be outsourced

Of course money is the biggest issue! I have to forgo all my little luxuries, shop during sales only & holidays are mostly to Malaysia or anywhere accessible by budget air, that's all we can afford
biggrin.gif
 
Hi hippo2002, wa must get my hubby to attend the fei yue talk. Was my dream to retire at 30 but hubby was and still is against it = 0% support don't even need to talk about 200%! With kids, it's just financially not practical bcoz hubby doesn't have medical coverage for family. sigh work till 80 years old??..
 
retirement is my biggest concern now. Inflation rising faster than interest rate! my money is getting 'smaller' everyday

I do hope to return work one day (just don't know when) to build up our retirement nest eggs. I am those kiasee type, must buffer buffer to sleep peacefully at night, very scared no money at old age, eat grass how? crazy medical bill how?

meanwhile, brainwashing my kids to provide for us at old age. They are my insurance for old age. hopefully positive ROI
happy.gif
 
Maybe i am selfish or what. Though hubby did give his 101% support for me to "retire" to be SAHM when ds goes to P1 which will be in 2009, I just cant bear to give up my job, I mean paycheck. Dont be mistaken, I am NOT a workaholic and dont intend to be a slave for work. Just that, with double income, we can live comfortably with no worries. And furthermore, my mil is taking care of the kids very well, I mean, since there's someone dear to look after the kids, why not just keep working? Like I said earlier, this is my very selfish thinking. When the time comes (ds goes P1), I'm not sure if I would change my mind.
 
Jan

hehe, I'm the opposite. I never expect myself to be a houswive with no career & no income & be very dependent on hubby.

Against what I used to believe - to be financially independent with a high flying career. And what happens to all my hard earned qualifications? All down the drain!

Hubby 'soft sell' the idea of SAHM for months & after the conversation with his auntie....I finally decided to give up my career. Nevertheless, it was a difficult decision for me at that time
 
hippo2002,

getting back into the workforce with a huge blank in the resume and a huge knowledge gap in the happpenings in my industry is one of the worries that i've got. i used to think that my boy needs me most now at preschool stage, then think that my boy needs me to transit to P1, he needs me during streaming, during PSLE, transit to secondary sch, then taking O-levels...when then can i return to the work force? ;P am also very worried about retirement savings. although by the time my boy is 'independent' say another 15 years and that i would probably in my early forties, i will then be in an age-gap where no one wants to employ and then all the qualifications and years of experience prior to being SAHm is down the drain.

then again, i can't bear leaving my dss at home to go to work, having being a sahm for 1 year...kena addicted. :p
 
hubby don't mind me staying at home too... haha.. and we always joke about it. He was saying that he don't mind to switch role too.. that he'll be at home. :)
 
ssmummy

my hubby will love to be the one to stay at home...but i can't earn more than him, let alone match his take home pay...so he can just dream on..hahahah :p
 
hubby is very envious of the close bond I have with the kids. He wants to be SAHD too
wink.gif


the only concern is social stigma of SAHDs. I think employers are generally 'less forgiving' of men who stayed home to look after kids. Hence I'm the one who gets to stay home even though I was drawing a bigger pay cheque
biggrin.gif


now I got used to the good life as SAHM, can take nap, take my day slow & easy, quite comfy leh. all these with a price of course, the opportunity cost of another pay cheque
 
For me, as I have the luxury of my mum helping me to look after my children, working is still fine.

But... like most of my teacher friends, we may neglect our own children in the process. :-(
 
Hi fz, agree with you. As newborn, of course the babies need mummy TLC. When go to primary school, needs mummy to guide homework. When in the teens, need mummy support. That's a full time job! I have grit my teeth and pass the newborn phase. Now they are preschoolers, I'm missing large part of the fun learning phase. Must really re-consider when they start primary school.

Been thinking for a FTWM, how to manage logistics to fit the child's schedule in primary school when there is cca or extra lessons? The timetable for each day may vary, more likely for upper primary, P3 onwards? Planned to put them into Before / After schoolcare but there is a fixed time for pickup or dropoff by the centre from or to school.
 
fz
SAHM is not just first 3 yrs. Just like you mentioned, transit to P1, coach sch work (transit to S1, I feel no need lah). It is 12 yrs! So when you reach 40+, that is why now the govt is trying to bring this age group of women to workforce. The money earn is peanuts! Enough only for own use.


hippo
I feel that if survive on one income, it must be at least $10K per month (ie with 2 kids). Sorry to say this: at this times, very few people take their children as ROI. We are supposed to take care of our own retirement because in our kids generation, the cost of living would be super high (can't imagine). Can they make their own living? That's why the govt is coming up with annuity, don't burden on the country since kids themselves may not have enough to support the greying population.
 
caroline3sg,
i guess the 'being around the house' while the kids are teenager is an 'insurance' against them hanging outside home and mixing bad company. My hubby used to say..what for the kids want to come home to an empty house when they can hang around whole day at the shopping mall with their friends?

i was initially looking forward to my FIL's retirement, but since govt has been increasing the retirement age, seems like my FIL will push back his retirement plans...and that will affect me returning to the workforce. ya..by the time i am available, you are right, the pay is pathetic!

maybe i then end up looking after other people's kids...ie become a childcare teacher...:p
 
fz
if what you say (ie kids come home to empty house might as well spend their time with friends at shopping mall = belongs to a group whose parents are both working) is true, then it is rather scary. Why kids nowadays like that? We weren't like that last time.

I wonder how many kids are like that.
 
hi
This thread getting fast. Miss all the talk on SAHM. Jus to add my thot, I feel that not everyone is suitable to be SAHM. My friend is SAHM but she dun coach her kids as she said that study university doesn't mean will earn $ and when I tell her I borrow books from library every week, she says I'm 'stressing' my kids. She say kids should only play and watch tv. In such case, I think it's better off sending kids to childcare.

Hippo,
I know wat you mean by society having stigma on SAHM. I felt it when I was housewife for 2.5 years. But the time spend with the kids is precious and can't be compared w monetary terms.
 
caroline3sg,
i guess, if both parents are working, a close relationship between the kids and the grandparents (or who every they stay with after school) can prevent the kids from feeling like this. my husband is just using that as an example to amplify that 'coming home to an empty house' is not heartwarming, so kids might probably choose to hang out with their friends. maybe we weren't like that cos most of our mums are sahm or we have our siblings to go home to. nowadays alot of only child, so if both parents working, they will be very lonely when they go home after school, won't they? go home and accompany the maid?
 
hi all,
i agree with Gin in a way, not all are suitable to be SAHM. It takes alot patience and sacrifice to be one. Unlike our parents time where alot of them are not so educated, so mothers stay at home. Nowadays most women are very capable but yet they chose to give up their high pay job to take care of their kids. Very noble isnt it? Thats why I salute to all SAHMs.

As for kids hanging out with friends instead of going home, I think its very common nowadays, esp their parents are working and no one is at home. To be honest, so what if they stay at home? Does that mean the child will be better than those hanging out at the malls? I believe upbringing plays an impt role.
 
caroline3sg

no need $10K single income a month lah. So high, who can afford to stay home?

we were finally debt free last year, even though we were surviving on a single income for more than 4 years. & that single income is definitely not anywhere near $10K per month.

Just live beneath our means. Buy HDB lor, forget about condo. We show hand using CPF, pay in full. Just buy Japanese car lah, no need BMW, car is only a mode of transport. Provide for 2 kids including enrichment classes, provide for parents, insurance, bills, etc etc

We still managed to save about 25% of income. Although I prefer the more the merrier because that 25% saving is certainly not enough for hubby & I to retire comfortably. Returning to work sometime in future is the only way to build up more reserve

the ability to provide for our own retirement is confirmed a must. But I will still input to my kids the idea of providing for us at old age. I think children should be brought up this way rather than allowing them to harbour the belief that they only need to take care of their own survival when they grow up.

If my kids are left with the last piece of bread, I would expect them to offer to me first. I would certainly do the same for my parents.
 
Have you tried asking your kids to give up their favourite food? eg left last piece chocolate & you know they really wanted to eat that chocolate. You try asking for that piece of chocolate. Kids always 'me first' so their initial reaction is not to share with you.

In order to teach them 'mommy first', I role play this very often during meal time or whenever opportunity arise. I make sure I eat that last piece that they so heartpain gave up to me
lol.gif
hehe, train until now, they no longer feel heartpain. They make sure I always get a share of their favourite food first & I never eat their leftovers

dd1 even told dd2 can only give us nice & yummy food, if not nice cannot give mommy daddy because dd2 is a fussy eater & tried to give away the food she doesn't like

I start from trival little things in life such as sharing food & things they treasure. Continue to brainwash them for the next 20 years. Next time ask them to share money they will not feel so heartpain lor
biggrin.gif
 
hippo,
i tried asking both my kids to give up their last piece of candy. My son gave it to me, the whole piece, not just one bite. But my dd, just let me LICK the candy nia. Just like u, i also brainwash my kids to sorta take care of us in our old age. But both me and hubby are not hoping that they will fulfill their responsibility in future, but at least must instill in them while young!
 
hippo2002, ssm,
i told my ds1 that i may be going back to work, so that mummy can have money to save up when she is old. my ds1 said he has money and can give me. :p

mummies,
how much do you save for your kids? besides insurance (which i believe most parents get nowadays), do you save a portion monthly for your kids? or you intend to let them save up on their own when they have pocket money?

i've got insurance for my ds1 (going to get similar one for ds2), but as for savings, we did not save anything for him. even his CNY red packets and birthday ang pows go to us. when i was a kid, i saved up all my pocket money and tried to 'earn' extras by doing well in tests. all CNY ang pows also go to my parents, so i value saving money as a virtue. so i hope my kids can feel the same too.
 
hippo
Food wise, my dd1 would share with me but my ds2 no. Money wise, my ds2 very freely give away but my dd1 very stingy.

Your upbringing is very traditional. I think not many this type of people left. Seems now is parents give last piece of bread to children and they themselves starve. Is this leading to 'me first' attitude in today's society? Or different way of teaching the same thing? The latter one instil the kids that parents are taking care of them now so they need to reciprocrate how they take care of us in future.
 
fz
I feel it is better to let the children save for themselves when they come out to work. If we save for them, they cannot & would not understand the virtue of saving. If we save for them, it is adding to our already heavy burden of providing food & enrichment.

Start the kids saving habit by giving them coins left over from your groceries. If they want to buy anything, it should be from that piggy bank. Then they would feel the pinch (if any) or see how expensive things are, to instil them they need to work hard (ie by studing hard now to get good paying job) and have enough money to sustain life etc etc.

Ang pow money, I kept it in their bank (I have separate accounts for both children). I told them that is their money and would give them when they grow up. Personally, children can feel that it is theirs and if you take it away and become yours, they won't feel nice.
 
caroline3sg,

i have yet to let my boy use his accumulated coins to buy stuff, cos i dunno if he will be too overwhelmed with the power of spending that he become addicted to it.

so far he is cool with us taking and using his money, cos we said we used it to pay for his school fees and buy groceries...
happy.gif
 
fz & caroline3sg,
Both me and my hb also have the habit of giving our kids the coins leftover from the groceries and. They have their own piggy bank at home, so they wl accumulate the coins and I wl bank into their own banking acct when piggy is full. Like caroline3sg, I keep their angpow $, bday $, etc into their own accts. I didnt tell them that they have their own accts, lest they "eye" on it cos I only plan to give it to them when they grow up. Lately my boy has been looking at price tags and I'm trying to teach him the value of items and $. Also make him order his own food when we go to the hawker to eat, give him $ to pay for it and he seems to enjoy it! :p
 
fz
My dd1 has many enrichment bags. She saw one she likes very much and I refused to buy for her. I told her if she wants, she has to take money from the piggy bank (ie 1/3 of the cost, while I & daddy come out with balance 2/3). She is not willing.

There was one incident where I borrow money from dd1 (no time to go atm). She lent me reluntantly while my ds2 (I didn't ask him) automatically take from his piggy bank and gave to me. So far, also has not let ds2 buy things from his piggy bank. Only let dd1. When to do it depends on age. dd1 is P5 next yr.
 
Mummies,
Ask u all something. When yr dd/ds goes to P1, will u give him pocket $? Or bring lunchbox? If pocket $ will be given, how much do u think is reasonable?
 
i probably let my boy bring lunch box. he eats rather slowly and is prone to spilling his food....like me...:p
ya..i guess $1 pocket money per day is ok. per perhaps $3 a week? dunno the 'market value'.
 
I thought of lunch box and $1 for standby purpose, in case he needs to buy something. If he didnt use it, then he can save into his piggy. Wonder how much does a bowl of noodles cost in the sch canteen nowadays.
 
Hi fz, I don't have savings a/c for the kids. Same as you, all angpow money I keep! When they are older, maybe P1, will open a savings a/c for them to start. That's when they will get pocket money for school and time to learn savings vs expense. I only have hospitalisation shield plan for ds, no child savings insurance if that's what you are referring to. Think that's a way of forced savings which we can generate better returns than putting with a fixed plan.
 
I don't have saving account for kids. All their ang bao I keep. I thought ang bao is our money leh. We gave other kids ang bao so our kids ang bao should rightfully be ours, isn't it? otherwise my T-ledger cannot balance
lol.gif


For their age, I think they understand the value of money very well, that money is in limited quantity. They never ask to buy things whenever we go shopping. They know that only daddy is bringing home the bacon so the whole family has to be thrifty & not spend unnecessarily, otherwise we will not have enough money to pay their school fees (their worst fear)
biggrin.gif


I told dd1 I will buy vitagen for all her friends who are attending her party & goodie bags for all her new classmates in church school. She heartpain, said like that will spend a lot of money. I told her it's ok lah, for special occassion like her birthday. alamak, I think we overdo it, they seems to think we are very poor
rofl.gif
 
mommies

what are the activities you have planned for your kids this school holiday?

dd1 will be going on a day trip as well as speech & drama camp. Her daddy will teach her how to ride bicycle (without training wheels)

I brought dd1 for movies yesterday. Watched 'Enchanted'. Very entertaining, I enjoyed the movie as much as my girl, if not more
happy.gif
Recommended


caroline3sg

popular having 20% storewide, coupon from pop magazine. We shopping spree at popular yesterday. Wow, so many types of assessment books, I see until my eyes got stars
 
hippo,
so shy to say, i didnt plan any activities for the kids. They basically just spend their hol like any other day. Ya, boring right? No choice cos they got boring parents! :p

i haven tried bringing my ds for movies. Not sure if he can sit throughout the whole show. BTW how much does a movie ticket cost? No concession for kids right?
 
ssm
haha, you asked the right person!

go on Tuesday to Cathay cinema. Mom & tot promotion. Buy an adult ticket, 1 child below 7 years old gets a free ticket. Available for showtime before 1 pm. check cathay website for full terms & condition

use UOB credit card to pay, 12% discount. So only $6+ for 2 tickets
lol.gif


I just found out about this promo a few days ago but I think it has been going on for quite some time
 
Hi hippo2002, good that you recommended 'Enchanted'. Wanted to catch one with kids but don't seem to have any children movies. There's a Fred Claus not sure if it's the usual funny xmas movie. I usually redeem movie tickets from credit card points since only watch on weekends for 4 of us. But Tues is a good deal.
 


hippo,
thanks for sharing the promo. I didnt know got such thing! This shows I have not been to the cinema for donkey years. The promo sounds attractive! Maybe I just take a day's leave and bring ds out. $6 for 2 tickets is very cheap hor? I heard tickets can come up to as exp as $10/ticket?
 
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