I delivered my second one when my first was only 12 months old. I won't deny it, it's not easy, especially after work and I take care of both at night myself. Naturally, the first will feel a bit of being left out and I feel guilty, but don't have a choice cos baby needs a lot of work. I try to be sensitive to #1 as much as I can, talk to him and get him involved like passing diapers to me, cream etc. Of course he will feel a difference, but in a way, cos he's still very young, he can adjust rather quickly.
The issue for me was more the stress of coping with two very young kids. For me, cos I work long hours, evening and nights are the only time I spend with kids. So my kids slept with me n daddy until they turn 3. I want be near them, of course it was stressful cos I barely sleep well n hv to work next day. My hubby will put in more effort to manage my firstborn in the first few months after birth of second. If my second cry too loudly, I will pat n sit in the living room a while then come back to room n put into cot. I let my firstborn sleep next to me to feel included in my life. He was fine and perhaps a little too young for sibling rivalry...so in a way, also good. We used to say, we kinda cheated him out of his toddlerhood. I dint hv family help so I had to rely on a maid, she was very very good. As for you, perhaps you can add one new helper since your mom is already around. But its better to get an experienced maid who takes care of babies else your mom will be very stressed up. Or another option is childcare, but I personally don't like childcare....and in a way, they have less bonding time if one is in childcare. I tried that at 13 mth for my firstborn so that we can manage only baby at home, but after two weeks I gave up and took him home cos I can feel that he felt like I cast him away to a childcare just cos baby was born. It was distressing for him.
You will feel overwhelmed initially, but I will tell you it's soooo worthwhile. Now my kids are 5&6 and they are so close like peas in a pod that people think they are twins. Cos they grow up so close in age together, the bond is so close and they practically cannot do without each other its so cute.
It's very stressful up to age 3...but after that...it gets better n u start to enjoy so much n less stressful that it becomes really fun having them at such close age group. In fact, I thank the stars I suffer the initial period at one shot, now I am enjoying life so much with my kids
