jerlicious
Active Member
May I know what are the benefits for unwed single moms? Still eligible for sg50 benefits? Tia.
What kind of benefits are u refering toMay I know what are the benefits for unwed single moms? Still eligible for sg50 benefits? Tia.
Apparently unwed mom has no benefits.Not too sure about unwed moms benefits ya. Totally no clue. Is there a number I can call to ask?
for me, i choose to be unwed because i dun want to get marry now and i'm not that young so faster TTC...Minus from the lesser benefits It's scary to think of being an unwed. I wonder how people copes
Wats ttc??for me, i choose to be unwed because i dun want to get marry now and i'm not that young so faster TTC...
as long as both of you and your partner has a house, stable income and financially ok, the benefits are just something extra...
i also told my boss and colleagues i TTC... then unwed mum only gt 8 weeks maternity leave, so i told them i may take unpaid leave for another 3 to 6 months, depending on my baby.. so far they understand..
trying to conceiveWats ttc??
eventually will... i guess....haha....Oh but once u conceived u and ur partner can officially get married ya
actually if can, i prefer not to get marry. but my partner is very traditional, so eventually will, but dont know when.... i just different from other gals..haha...Thn stil not so bad ya. At least u noe wats coming
Ya indeed v. I'm a divorcee so is my bf. I hv no kids. He has two kids which he hates Tt is partial cause for him to div. I reli no idea y in the first plce I hv fallen for such an irresponsible man cos I myself wanted to hv a family and settle down eventually. And I did mention it to him all along. When tgt he mention Tt if I ever got preg he will marry me but it's not happening now. We hv been tgt for 2 yrs and now he say he jus divorced 2 yrs ago away from all the troubles and problems of marriage and kids commitments and now he had to jump back in again. I guess I shld hv seen it coming all along. I oso nv expect I gt preg cos all along my health ain't Tt gd and Mensus irregular as well plus I had a blocked tube. Jus before I found out I'm pregnant I already wanted to broke up with him bcos he is Alws hiding and lying things from me and his abusive and foul temper Tt i cannot tolerate anymore. Bt I guess my luck seems to be on the down side ya. Bt I gib a dbl check in case even though I Alws misses my Mensus 1-2 wks. I wan to make sure ya. Guess my life is so full of dramas. All along I wanted to keep my bb cos this is consider my third pregnancy. I had an abortion and miscarriage before alrdy. Bt I am so afraid for my bb future. So many uncertainties. I can't reli handle my emotions very well tts y. I'm scare and lost. Been crying everyday. My Bb is 9 wks tmr.
Ur a very strong and independent woman indeed. For me I dun hv a house can only bunk in tgt w my parents. I felt I alrdy a burden to them then yet now I hv to tc of bb myself if my bf reli wan to shrink all responsibility. I can't deny I'm quite a dependent person, emotionally and prolly physically. I come from a normal family Bt not much love from it. I guess tts y I Alws felt the sense of insecurity. For sure I noe at long I am working and do not anyhow spent lik i use to be, then Im sure I can get by tgt w bb without the irresponsible hb. For me to get a marriage cert i never tot of as a security. Bt more of Tt we can buy hs tgt ya. Tink my bf his previous marriage wasn't a gd one thus his phobia. Nonetheless, he is just too selfish for himself, nv spare a tot for me and bb. I hope I can be firm and strong to keep my bb. Abortion appointment is on wed morning. By tue Midnite I hv to decide alrdy. Cos gona take the abortion pills, after taking then I Canot regret anymore =(actually marriage doesnt make the guy responsible being... if not we wont see so many irresponsible married guys arnd...
anyway you knew your bf doesnt like kids and you still didnt take precaution, so i guess you knew what will happen eventually...
then again you knew your bf is irresponsible person, it is best that you dont marry him... please note that marriage doesnt change a guy from irresponsible to responsible.
my ex hub never change....
personally for me, i told my bf even without him, i can take care of the bb.. i no need a marriage as insurance (like alot of women think marriage is an insurance so you can claim alimony & child maintenance). i have a house, a stable job and sufficient saving. if he ever piss me off, and i dun want to see him rest of my life, i would take the baby and relocate to another country. i dun wan a single cent from him and he wun see us for the rest of his life.
anyway i'm out of the norms, i dun see marriage as important as majority of the people.. as long as my bf love, care and pamper me like now. i dun think marriage is necessary.
Hi Eileen thanks for sharing with me ur experience. If in case I reli decide to keep my bb and needed to get more info from u, I will PM u. Thanks again.Jerlicious ... Be strong for your baby. It might be tough in the beginning but you and your baby will get through this. Trust me.
I am an unwed mother. I am now 38 yrs old going on 39. I became an unwed mother when I was 29 yrs old. My daughter is in now in Primary 4 and she is diagnosed dyslexic and ADHD. I was the one who called off the wedding 2 days before we were supposed to go through solemnisation ceremony. It wasn't an easy decision to make cos invitations had been sent out, deposit for restaurant been paid, plus I was a RC member , so I had to be thick skin walking around my neighourhood with a bug tummy, unemployed. On top of that , to make it worse, I had to call SDS ( Social Development Service ) to ask them cancel the feature interview of my ex and me in their magazine ... Cos I met him at SDS's first Speed Dating activity ... So when we decided to get married, I went to inform the facilitator of the activity to thank her.
Things were uncertain in the beginning. Immediately after I finished my 1 month confinement, I went out and got a job. Few months after my daughter's birth, I bought insurance for her for her education . Few years after that, I bought medical insurance for her.
As an unwed mom, yes we are not entitled to IRAS Working Mother's Child Relief but there are many other financial subsidies available ... For me, for PCF Kindergarten fees, I applied KiFAS / for her dyslexia , she is attending lessons on Tuesday , Thursday and Saturday ( English at 90% subsidy ; Maths at 75% subsidy ) / for her visits to Child Guidance Clinic for ADHD , I got 100% subsidy / for her eyes problems where she had sought treatment at Singapore National Eye Centre, I got 100% subsidy...... What I am trying to say is, many organisations do offer financial aids of some sort... Some might be publicised .. Some might not openly advertise about the financial aids ... Don't be shy or embarrassed to ask if there is any financial aids to apply for low income families ...not for unwed mom to apply but coming from the angle of low income families cos many financial aids are for low income, doesn't matter if you are unwed or married mother.
There used to be a support group for unwed mothers called " Flyin Solo " but I think it is now defunct.
Below is a support group helping single parents. You might want to give them a call if you want to see what kind of help they can provide you. Good luck
HELP FAMILY SERVICE CENTRE
http://www.helpfsc.org.sg/about-help/mission
Hi Eileen thanks for sharing with me ur experience. If in case I reli decide to keep my bb and needed to get more info from u, I will PM u. Thanks again.
Ur a very strong and independent woman indeed. For me I dun hv a house can only bunk in tgt w my parents. I felt I alrdy a burden to them then yet now I hv to tc of bb myself if my bf reli wan to shrink all responsibility. I can't deny I'm quite a dependent person, emotionally and prolly physically. I come from a normal family Bt not much love from it. I guess tts y I Alws felt the sense of insecurity. For sure I noe at long I am working and do not anyhow spent lik i use to be, then Im sure I can get by tgt w bb without the irresponsible hb. For me to get a marriage cert i never tot of as a security. Bt more of Tt we can buy hs tgt ya. Tink my bf his previous marriage wasn't a gd one thus his phobia. Nonetheless, he is just too selfish for himself, nv spare a tot for me and bb. I hope I can be firm and strong to keep my bb. Abortion appointment is on wed morning. By tue Midnite I hv to decide alrdy. Cos gona take the abortion pills, after taking then I Canot regret anymore =(
On a side note: aft awhile we didn't took precautions bcos for me I tot I had a block Fallopian tube and Tt my Mensus wasn't regular nor a lot thus shldnt be able to get pregnant so easily as of this fast. Bt all the while I did ask him wat will he do if I were to get preg and he said marry me ya. Thn I guess well, his worth are not trust worthy at all. It's only just say but nv actions. So if I were to decide to gib birth thn I Canot depend or rely on him at all. It's all on me alone now. I Canot imagine the next 6-7 mths how do I survive emotionally ya.
Ya doesn't matters he wans to put his name in bb BC anot. If he doesn't wana put then bb will follow my surname lor. If he wana provide thn to me is a bonus, he doesn't want then I just save more for my baby ya.
oic. Guess it's jus some normal paper work issues? Shldnt be much of a concern I guess. As for he putting of dad's name on BC shall see how. If he wan to put maybe I will consider to. If not then it's ok to follow my own surname ya.Jerlicious, some advice from 过来人 ( someone who been there, done that ).
I put my daughter's biological dad name on birth cert. To me, I didn't want my girl grow up thinking she has no dad when she looks at BC and see blank section at Father's particulars.
I told him that time when I called off wedding, I am keeping baby. Whether he gives maintenance support or not up to him. If he gives , will lighten my load. If he doesn't give, I won't blame him.
I didn't realize the subsequent hassle I will encounter by putting his info in our child's BC.
Eg : I always apply Bursary for DAS ( Dyslexia Association of Singapore ) fees every year , when 1st term started but cos BC listed him as father, I had to write a self declaration to indicate we are not legally married and that there is no court order on him to provide child support.
And Primary 1 school enrollment, if my memory served me well, also encountered a bit of problem cos have fill up both parents' info when the BC has father info. You might want call up primary school ( like I did ) in advance of enrollment to check if you need to write any self-declaration to register child for primary school when child is born out of wedlock and BC has father's info.
Do u stil ke
oic. Guess it's jus some normal paper work issues? Shldnt be much of a concern I guess. As for he putting of dad's name on BC shall see how. If he wan to put maybe I will consider to. If not then it's ok to follow my own surname ya.
Wow reading all these is inspiring.
Im a single mom to be. Due soon in another 2 months.
He said we will work things out if ever one day i was pregnant but things didnt go well as expected.
Being young, he wants me to go for an abortion at 6 weeks.
I refused and he started womanizing. God knows how many woman he slept with.
But i kept my hopes high and just hope for the day he would come back.
But i was wrong and i finally got the courage to leave me when i was into my 7 months (which was just last month)
I regretted not leaving him earlier. I would have settle down faster.
Now im left in a total mess and trying to pick things up slowly.
I have to worry abt rental as i cant move back to my parents place due to family problem.
Thankfully i have church friends who are here to support me.
Otherwise i would have long went crazy.
I want to apply for hdb rental for 1 room flat when i turn 21 later this year. But they say must be either divorced or widowed. Any advise abt this ?
Life isnt gonna be easy but i guess it will work out
even you put dad name in BC, the kid also can follow your surname...Do u stil ke
oic. Guess it's jus some normal paper work issues? Shldnt be much of a concern I guess. As for he putting of dad's name on BC shall see how. If he wan to put maybe I will consider to. If not then it's ok to follow my own surname ya.
I want to apply for hdb rental for 1 room flat when i turn 21 later this year. But they say must be either divorced or widowed. Any advise abt this ?
Sorry typo for that sentence. =)Huh ? What is "ke" ?
My daughter's dad info on her BC but her surname follows mine. It is my decision that our daughter's surname follows mine and he had no objection. When we went to register birth at ICA, since putting his name on BC but we are not legally married , we had to do a declaration in front of ICA Officer pertaining his relationship to baby and our single status.
You are most welcome. You can do it. 加油Sorry typo for that sentence. =)
Oic, really appreciates for sharing all the info. if not for u I guess I totally am clueless. For my case it's still kinda a long way. Since i hv only decided to keep my bb. I will slowly starts to plan after my baby is more stable prolly aft week 12 ya. I know there's bound to be loadsa obstacles ahead, but I believe as long as I want I can do it no matter wat. As for the BC, will discuss with bb daddy a mth before birth.
Woah. U r indeed one brave mommy to be. Moreover ur only so so young. I'm not a Christian but some of my surrounding friends are and they encourage me to join them too. Still considering though. =)Wow reading all these is inspiring.
Im a single mom to be. Due soon in another 2 months.
He said we will work things out if ever one day i was pregnant but things didnt go well as expected.
Being young, he wants me to go for an abortion at 6 weeks.
I refused and he started womanizing. God knows how many woman he slept with.
But i kept my hopes high and just hope for the day he would come back.
But i was wrong and i finally got the courage to leave me when i was into my 7 months (which was just last month)
I regretted not leaving him earlier. I would have settle down faster.
Now im left in a total mess and trying to pick things up slowly.
I have to worry abt rental as i cant move back to my parents place due to family problem.
Thankfully i have church friends who are here to support me.
Otherwise i would have long went crazy.
I want to apply for hdb rental for 1 room flat when i turn 21 later this year. But they say must be either divorced or widowed. Any advise abt this ?
Life isnt gonna be easy but i guess it will work out
Woah. U r indeed one brave mommy to be. Moreover ur only so so young. I'm not a Christian but some of my surrounding friends are and they encourage me to join them too. Still considering though. =)
I guess some guys only noes how to use mouth to say instead of do ya. If ur bf is a womanizer then ur wise to leave him for good. His totally not worth and ur bête much alone ya. As for me, I dun blame my bf bcos at some point as I can understand his concerns.
HDB wise, have u call them up for enquiries already? Or like Eileen mentioned, go to ur MP for help. Cos for my case I'm 33 this year, I will go apply for a BTO flat when i turns 35. Am staying with my parents as so they can help out to take care of my bb till k2.
Side note. Anyone noes if theres any support group for unwed moms?
Gosh mommymich, you are one brave young lady , to be going through this and still stay sane.
I don't have any solution about your housing except to suggest you approach your MP at the next Meet People Session ( held weekly at designated areas ) and share your problems with your MP. Your MP might be able help you write letter to HDB to see if they can make exception for you or maybe your MP can come up with some other solutions for you.
Below is a link for you to use in case you don't know who is your MP. Just enter your current residing area postal code.
N.B. if you are currently residing at a temp location of which that location is not listed in your IC card, then might be tricky ... Cos the MP can only serve residents in his territory . If your official residing address is under another MP's territories , the MP might ask you go to your own MP for assistance cos he can't overstep his boundaries.
Good luck and 加油 !
https://www.parliament.gov.sg/whos-my-mp
"they" is who? hdb?
so far i never heard of any restriction from hdb, is only depends they approve or not
you can go http://www.hdb.gov.sg/fi10/fi10323p.nsf/w/RentDirectHDBApplication?OpenDocument to check
Woah. U r indeed one brave mommy to be. Moreover ur only so so young. I'm not a Christian but some of my surrounding friends are and they encourage me to join them too. Still considering though. =)
I guess some guys only noes how to use mouth to say instead of do ya. If ur bf is a womanizer then ur wise to leave him for good. His totally not worth and ur bête much alone ya. As for me, I dun blame my bf bcos at some point as I can understand his concerns.
HDB wise, have u call them up for enquiries already? Or like Eileen mentioned, go to ur MP for help. Cos for my case I'm 33 this year, I will go apply for a BTO flat when i turns 35. Am staying with my parents as so they can help out to take care of my bb till k2.
Side note. Anyone noes if theres any support group for unwed moms?
Tts y I consider my bb and family welfare most tats y I wanted I abort initially but lucky family all supportive ya.What about the shame that you will bring to your parents by keeping the baby? Not meant to be cruel but to have a daughter who give birth out of wedlock is shameful and reflects badly on the entire family.
Some people are just too self fish and self center to understand the dilemma and agony ya. Bound to have people like these. Expected.Not meant to be cruel? Such statements are cruel!
Not meant to be cruel? Such statements are cruel!
Thanks for ur 'compassion'. Reli appreciated. =) I will take care of my baby together with my bf. Me and my bf are still happily together at the moment that's all it matters now to me. Can't deny me and bf will get married one day or break up or even married and div we can nv noe. No one ask u to agree with my doings or mindset but one thing for sure is that I just Canot bear to kill an innocent. I really tot about it a lot before finalizing with the decision and I have a lot of supports for friends as well. I will not hide from any of my relatives or friends from my choice either. And if u have nothing good to say then don't. We don't need all these unnecessary comments from people like u. Be kind with words and kind will befall to u and ur kids and love ones around u.I know it is not politically correct not to be supportive. But it is a fact that in our society it is not an accepted practice. This is different from single mothers due to divorce or death of spouse. Who among us can say we are 100% fine telling our daughters when they reach teenhood "never mind. You can be pregnant and mummy is 100% fine with it."? I still firmly believe one should not engage in premarital sex.
For Jer's situation, I am sympathetic. But I think for her to start life afresh, she should put the baby up for adoption.
Thanks for ur 'compassion'. Reli appreciated. =) I will take care of my baby together with my bf. Me and my bf are still happily together at the moment that's all it matters now to me. Can't deny me and bf will get married one day or break up or even married and div we can nv noe. No one ask u to agree with my doings or mindset but one thing for sure is that I just Canot bear to kill an innocent. I really tot about it a lot before finalizing with the decision and I have a lot of supports for friends as well. I will not hide from any of my relatives or friends from my choice either. And if u have nothing good to say then don't. We don't need all these unnecessary comments from people like u. Be kind with words and kind will befall to u and ur kids and love ones around u.