Pregnant & considering divorce

Devon87

New Member
11 weeks pregnant and considering divorce from my spouse.

He always have difficulty sleeping and waking up on time to work. During my pregnancy, he started to develop this habit of playing his mobile games after work till the next morning, claiming that he played coz he couldn’t fall aslp. And he would only wake up past 5pm or sometimes late evenings to go to work. Some days, he felt so tired he wouldn’t even go to work at all. He is a full-time private hire driver and has to pay for his rented car.

I tried ways and means, persuasion, talks, quarrels and he would always promise he will change and stop playing the whole night, only to return to it the next day. Recently, we quarreled again because I had a hard time waking him up repeatedly and ending up losing my temper. I’m feeling sick, nauseous, nervous about the impending derailed scan & blood test, anxious about his work and finances, and yet I had to keep calling him up for work, even when I was napping or when I could sleep in on my days off.

He wouldn’t move a finger when I tell him I’m hungry or am badly craving for a certain food and continue to sleep. I finally lost it and had a huge quarrel with him. Ran out of the house but he didn’t give chase or came out to look for me. A day later, it was the same old pattern again with him snoozing off and me reminding him every half an hour to wake up for work. He got frustrated and upset with my tone and attitude and said he didn’t want to come back home anymore becoz I disrespected him by throwing his pillow on the bedroom floor in anger. Said other pregnant women aren’t like me, keep getting angry and yelling at him, but I only yell when he responds in a negative manner to my constantly waking him up for work.

He is not financially ready and yet isn’t working hard. I’m tired of mothering him. I crave for TLC and patience from my spouse but he only gives it to me on his feel-good days. Hence I’m seriously considering divorce right now.
 


Hi

I can certainly understand how you are feeling. However, may I suggest that you take care of yourself first, since u r now preggy wif a lilttle one...

I have a staff who is in a similar position as u. Her DH is also a PHD... she works n he drives whenever he "isnt" tired... soon she got sick of it n submitted her resignation letter so she can also laze @ home wif him... they have a son who is in P2.

Her DH has no choice but 2 work harder so they can put food on d table as well as $ 4 their son's fees n etc... However, d cycle wld start again when she is out looking 4 jobs...

Y dont u move back 2 your parents' place temporarily? Dont make any decisions while u r preggy as women tend 2 b more emotional during this period. Also time away means u can also seriously consider all aspects b4 making dat decision 2 divorce.
 
11 weeks pregnant and considering divorce from my spouse.

He always have difficulty sleeping and waking up on time to work. During my pregnancy, he started to develop this habit of playing his mobile games after work till the next morning, claiming that he played coz he couldn’t fall aslp. And he would only wake up past 5pm or sometimes late evenings to go to work. Some days, he felt so tired he wouldn’t even go to work at all. He is a full-time private hire driver and has to pay for his rented car.

I tried ways and means, persuasion, talks, quarrels and he would always promise he will change and stop playing the whole night, only to return to it the next day. Recently, we quarreled again because I had a hard time waking him up repeatedly and ending up losing my temper. I’m feeling sick, nauseous, nervous about the impending derailed scan & blood test, anxious about his work and finances, and yet I had to keep calling him up for work, even when I was napping or when I could sleep in on my days off.

He wouldn’t move a finger when I tell him I’m hungry or am badly craving for a certain food and continue to sleep. I finally lost it and had a huge quarrel with him. Ran out of the house but he didn’t give chase or came out to look for me. A day later, it was the same old pattern again with him snoozing off and me reminding him every half an hour to wake up for work. He got frustrated and upset with my tone and attitude and said he didn’t want to come back home anymore becoz I disrespected him by throwing his pillow on the bedroom floor in anger. Said other pregnant women aren’t like me, keep getting angry and yelling at him, but I only yell when he responds in a negative manner to my constantly waking him up for work.

He is not financially ready and yet isn’t working hard. I’m tired of mothering him. I crave for TLC and patience from my spouse but he only gives it to me on his feel-good days. Hence I’m seriously considering divorce right now.

Please stay calm n please do not get agitated. You are pregnant now. It could be your hormones. He has been like that since you know him. So typically he is like that, you cannot expect him to change suddenly just because you are pregnant.

Breathe and relax first, a divorce is not like going to a salon. Go in n come out and you are divorced. More problems will follow.

Let your hormones calm down first, after the first trimester, you will feel better.

A lot of guys also go thru pre natal stress cuz they do not know what the new baby will bring into the life.
 
If you have make up your mind to divorce, then u got nothing to lose.

Just pack ur thing and move out. When the moment that he got no money pay his rented car, pay for the bill then he will wake up automatically.

But u must be firm enough.. don’t half way back side itchy then go back.. then u can only blame urself.
 
Is he like that when you both are dating? Or married?
Or only after you are pregnant?

Is a bit too late for blaming now, especially you are now pregnant.
Like the rest suggest, better take care of your health first.
Have a final talk with him, and if he still doesn't improve, and if divorce is the only choice left, then go ahead
 
let me break this down for you.

he is already like this during your pre-preggy stage. u still proceed to get pregnant.

now your hormones act up (it's normal) and you find yourself intolerant of his attitude. you find yourself insecure financially (very normal too).

first, ask yourself, by making a difference, does it make a different?
meaning, you lose your temper wake him up early to work, how much diff it makes to his income, or rather the money that ends up in your pocket? if not much diff, why go thru that path? (u age fast in this mode btw). if it maks alot of diff, then use a cane on him (literally).

if u Dv him now, you get:
  1. no or low alimony? (since he isn't keen to work)
  2. to worker harder (yourself) as you have to support the entire house/kid loan/expenses?
  3. spend a sum on lawyer than you should be saving for those milk powder?
  4. stay w your parent (under their hse rule). well, if they are v supportive then u r blessed.
  5. etc

hence, since you are in your early pregnancy, give everyone the benefit of doubt. until he sees your tummy, then (maybe) he will realise what he has gotten into.

as for yourself, take care of your baby by eating right and having a positive attitude. throwing tantrum/temper will get u a 'less happy' baby, that i think you don't wish too.

since, he had done himself in (in your context), don't let him affect your baby.

you have nothing to lose by staying on. Stil can Dv when you settle down later. no hurry.

lastly, if you act like a 'mother', someone will act like a 'kid'. understand?
 

Back
Top