Child Adoption

little nuriko

Please try this now. All new members, who want to join in, can join in directly.

http://www.facebook.com/groups/adoptioninsg/

Yes, little nuriko, that's my biz acc. I've a minishop on FB. Just to have free my mind from diaper duty
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to all the parents who have adopted : is it alright to 'reject' a baby if we dun feel the affinity to her? i dun wanna be 'shopping' for a baby coz i feel bad but also dun wanna adopt a baby i dun quite 'feel' for..
 
hi wendy: what stage of adoption are you at? Welcome to the group.
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undecided: i also wonder about this question. I feel bad for poor baby if i don't want to adopt those i have seen. but I think for me, i have to put my feelings aside and adopt the one that connects with hubby and me.
 
To those who have adopted, I wonder how to manage baby plus cooking plus household chores + i have a pet too. I don't want to employ a maid because I don't feel comfortable with one around. Do you all like cater food for the first few months until baby gets a routine?
 
okie, I pose this question to all those who ask about rejecting a baby they don't feel any affinity toward. When god gives you a child, you are not going to see this child till after 9 months. When this child is born, and you don't like the way the child looks, are you going to reject it?
For us adoptive parents it is normal for us not to feel anything towards the baby at the beginning. Remember we never carried the baby in us. I have seem so many biiological mothers who don't feel anything their baby, to the extent they don't even want to carry the baby. But trust me, we will develop the feelings as we go along. We are all human.
If you really feel that there is a possibility that you may reject the child, then first request to see pictures of the child. Sorry but I don't know what is the normal procedure with agents cos my child's adoption was a private affair.
From day one, I was willing to accept my child as is. Be it whether the baby is black, white, yellow , green, healthy or not or challenged or not. Cos I truly believed that my son was born for me.
Truly believe that your baby is born for you cos if not the child will not come to you.
LAtan, I did not cook for the first year, really, swear! Housework was handled by my hubby and myself and I have 2 dogs.
My son was handed to me the day after he was born so I did go thru a period of post natal blues too. Yes, you heard me right! Post natal blues. When my baby din drink milk, I cry. When he cry, I cry. Night cannot sleep,i cry. I also lost 4 kg in 3 weeks. There was even a time when I wanted to return him. I was so afraid I will hurt him. I will tell everyone who wants to come visit to come in the evening as during the day i will sleep when the baby sleeps. I am only human I need my sleep.
Everything was okie when I established a routine in caring for my baby. By the way I had NO help in caring for my baby. It was and still is an amazing journey. No regrets
For those who think I sound like a saint, believe me, I am not! I am as normal as can be,. I am a firm believer in the saying, if life serves you lemons, make lemonade.
 
rameena4ever: thanks for your insight. something to consider about affinity to baby. Preparing myself mentally for the upcoming challenges. I like your saying of if life serves you lemons, make lemonade. It shall be my motto.
 
Hi Ladies, I like the idea of setting up a FB group for all.. But I'm worried tat once I join, my frens will all knw tat I'm gng to adopt a baby... Or u hv blocked ur frens from being able to view the page? Sorry but I'm new to all these n hv yet to attend PAB...
 
rameena4ever : i was worried coz when the agent sent me the pic of the girl, my hubs din even wanna go see the bb.. he said she looked a little non chinese.. amongst other stuff.. but after some discussion, we came to a conclusion similar to what u mentioned - that if had our own n he/she isn't poster baby material, we wud still have thot the bb is the most beautiful thing in the world.. and that we wud luv the bb all the same..

besides, looks and affinity r things that can change with time..

we r goin to see the princess tmr morning n God willing, we will have her with us in no time..
 
Pokoyo: it's a closed group so meaning only members in group can see what is going on inside. Outsider can't see and it will not appear in your newsfeeds so your frds will not know about it.

I joined fb but admin haven approve. Btw I not so worried cause all my frds know I adopted my son... And some also want to go adopt... Actually it's quite common to adopt in SG nowadays... So I just release to everyone... But ofc those not close or Hi Bye frds I n tell them lah...
 
Rameena
this is the link for the group. the one you joined, was a test page. http://www.facebook.com/groups/adoptioninsg/

All Fb members request to join the FB group just approved. Sorry, admin kind of busy.

the lady who had Pm me her email id [email protected] , please do accept the friend request., so that i can add u to the group, or you can directly join the group. (link on earlier part of this post)


TO All other parents- to- be

I dint want to open up, until rameena opened the topic. I seriously endorse her idea.
Its reg going on vacation / taking our own time to start looking for BB.
When i was also in this stage of adoption, i was very much exhausted / mentally drained out. My case was totally different. I was a PR, & my country embassy letters was not accepted by MCYS & we had numerous problems ( not as a couple) to take this adoption process forward. Then we decided to become s'poreans & then things started to move smoothly. Admist all these problems, soon after the HSR got through, we wanted to wait till our citizenship formalities were over, so that it would be easy & we could have sometime for us as a couple.
But GOD had his own terms. Our agent showed my son's pic & all those things that happened after that are part of his scrapbook.

So, I would suggest, those people, who have had your HSR approved, please be ready to take in the baby anytime after it. Getting ur HSR approved, is like, you're in ur 40th week of ur preg'cy & the baby can pop out anytime. We wouldn't know, what is instore for us, when we take our own time for looking for a BB.

I might sound quite conservative, I'm a asian aferall
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All these come from my experience & after seeing a couple of my friends who are still 'shopping'
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Hi miss ha.. From your experience and feedbacks, are you suggesting that we should get the babies ASAP? The validity of hsr is two years, shouldn't it be better that we can get the child that we really like rather than getting it ASAP?
 
my agent did sent me photos of the baby and we made an appt to go to malaysia to see him.... we straight awaay cfm him on the spot... by look at photos and in real life is very different... when the baby start to smile at you is the point they melt your heart... till now i m happy with my meatball... thinking back... if i passed him to another family i think i cant sleep at night that his imagines will keep floating in your mind...

to me as long as the baby is healthy i dont think of any reason to reject them as its a kind of fate to meet them.. =)
 
wendy: your baby is so adorable. I can see why you fell in love with him. Oooh, i can't wait for my turn. Aiyah, a few months is like a year to wait. Sigh.
 
@Jass
Yes, HSR is valid for 2 yrs.
Let me get u a scenario
Please no feelings offended here....
FOr example..)
Lets say, yourself & another buddy from this forum (who are going through the same stage) get your HSR approved news on the same day.

If that couple, decide to take on any baby that agent showed ( bonding/ affinity/ liking grows with time..) & you have rejected a couple of them, as shown by your agent (reason: u dint like the baby).

Months pass by....

you meet your friend after a long time & she shows her baby, who is about to celebrate her first b'day (& urs is just 6 mths old)..what would be your feeling??? (i know, words can't describe it)

I have seen such shocks & wordless pains in my friends eyes when i showed them my son's pic & when they are still 'shopping'
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Its human nature, to find one item, better than the other...when this rule applies to normal things..we do take great care to enforce this for our kid.

Hope u guys understand..The race is on...
 
Jass: yes.. he is the first baby of the first agency that contacted me.... i scare see too much i will keep thinking of those i rejected.. so i just cfm...

LAtan: u saw my baby in my FB huh?? lolx
 
Wendy and mrs ha.... How long did you gals waited for the agency to reply?

Mrs ha.. How to race? I can control when can the hsr be approve and the efficiency of my agencies..

I want to claim my baby at the first source too but this really be fate and most importantly the parents history and baby health must be completed clear before I say yes to the agent.. The whole process costs a lot and we should not take this lightly..
 
Jass... I quite lucky... Replied me within 1 week... Based on my agent he said ppl prefer girl then boy just nice my time his side no want want boy and also just nice he got a boy.... Maybe to me it's fated... He mention for girl the waiting time is about 2-3months....

I told my agent that I must need their side medical report out and baby is healthy before letting me know... Which he did... I got this agent refer by one of the mummy here... His baby is all healthy and even after baby is with me he still update us on everything till baby get citizenship... But his fees is on higher side compare to others agency... Which I don't mind cause to me most important is baby healthy and history clean... All these agent will check before letting u know... But of course u must also let your agent know before hand what thing u want before u want to see the baby... I also told my agent I die die want Hep C check and neg... Most important!!!
 
haloo everyone! just to share a piece of news! i have identified my little angel!!!!! she is absolutely lovely!

this is what i have learnt today..
agent sent me a pic of baby yesterday and if u read my earlier post, hubby almost din wanna go see the bb coz he thot she isn't v chinese looking n wasn't certain about the way she looks.

we did pay her a visit eventually (n i m so so glad we did) coz we wanted to be fair n not judge just by a pic.. true enuf, when we saw her, we were amazed by how different she looks compared to the photo! (agent's pic din do her any justice!) dun trust the photos! u have to go n look at the bb physically!

i 'knew' she was for me almost immediately! although she was asleep when we got there, she looked like the most amazing thing in the world! at least to me! and the moment my hubby carried her, she smiled in her sleep! and i was in love!!!we spent several hours w her simply coz we couldn't bear to leave her!

now i can't wait for her to arrive in SIN.. 2 long weeks... 2 long weeks...
 
congrats! undecided. I'm so happy for you. can feel your joy in your posting. Do share with us your experience when you have your bb with u 2 weeks later.
 
Undecided: so happy for you!!! Lucky you see her in real... The feeling is different from photos!!! Although 2 weeks gonna be feel long... Can start shopping for your little ones!!! Trust me very fast she will be here... Sweet dream tonight!!!
 
Dear all, i have upload a list of items to buy in case last min cases... it's all in FB Doc... Its a private group so dont worry that other ppl in your frd list knows... what ever happens there stay in there.. lolx!!!
 
Undecided: so so happy and excited for you. 2 weeks will fly by very fast as u start preparing for her arrival. Congratulations.
 
my agent is kenny from lovely adoption...

me too fail 1 time ivf liao hubby said dont bother to try 2nd time... cause my side effect quite bad...
 
Tq everyone!! I sure hope the 2weeks will fly by!

Wendy : Tq for the list!

Jass : N yes, v different from that ivf 2ww! I had it so bad too! I couldn't eat nor move for 5 days for my first ivf! And In so much pain! Yucks! Wendy n I r using d same agent
 
Lai ling.. Viewed bb at 5 days old n bb will take about 2 weeks to arrive SIN .. So that's also about 3weeks old!

If u dun wan such a young baby, u can inform the agent n they will source accordingly
 
Congrats Undecided!! So happy for u! Btw, how do u get to see bb when she is not in spore yet?
Would love to see Wendy n ur bb's photo
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do I just click on the fb link given?
 
Hey people
Just created more shop specific of 'where to get', where I bought of the list, she has uploaded. Please go through.

One final adv. Please get ur kiddy palace membership card, $10. really worth it,in the long run (sterilisers dont have a 'sale' price. So, u can enjoy 10% off on those items. U can easily get back ur membership fees.
 
Hi all, I have joined e FB page.. But how come when I go to my FB app, I can't find the group anywhere? :p
And btw, who's who? I'm Jacqueline
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nice to meet everyone here!
 
Hi, I am new to this group. Was previously asking about some info as I was so blur about the whole process... But guess what, before I know it, I now have a baby boy!

My path as been really smooth... Praise the good Lord!
. I completed my HSR in May
. Started to look for a baby in Aug
. Saw a baby end Aug
. Brought baby home in Sep
. Got DP in Sep
. Signed legal letters in Oct
. 1st court hearing will be in Nov

This forum has been a great encouragement to me thus far. Even though no one responded to my queries, I come in everyday to read good news and sharings and it has been a big help and distraction during the waiting periods.

It is heart warming to learn that adoption is so common and I feel more relieved as compared to the beginning when I was pretty tense about the entire thing.

So... Thanks again to everyone here for your sharings...
 

Hi, Jass,

I am not very sure too. We were just guided step by step by the agent. After getting the DP, we were told to go to a lawyer office to sign documents. Then, the lawyer office called to say they have booked a court hearing date for us., which we do not need to attend, funny?
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. Then the agent says wait for Mcys to call after e court hearing to arrange for a day when they will come visit us and the baby at home. Then I learn from here there will be a report from Mcys to the court? There should be a second hearing which should be final to grant us the adoption order so we can apply for birth cert and citizenship. Maybe all the seniors here can correct me if I am wrong...
 
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