Cheating Spouse

R

RoroTan

New Member
I caught my husband cheating last year . He had a affair with a PRC. I confronted him and he make lots of empty promises that he will leave her but end up I was being hurt over and over again. Thing get worst when the stupid PRC women called me from time to time to claim victory ! She scold me a pig who only know how to give birth to 3 kids, and i am a failure that I am cant control my man at home and that's why she was in a relationship with him . She told me she wouldn't want to break up my family as long as i closed one eye. My husband has asked me to forgive him and he will leave the women for good cause family are important to him , he said i should have protected the family and him from being lure by this China Chic ! I am getting depressed and confuse. Last month he promised he will really leave her for good . He will block her wechat. Block her calls and msg but after 3 weeks i was surprised that he contacted her and chat with her 40min !! When I asked him why , he show me his log that the women has been calling him everyday 5 to 8 times and he said he shud have confronted the women once and for all on 19th Nov 2015. That was last . He asked me to trust him but I dont anymore . Do you think I am being over sensitive ? yesterday he asked me out for dinner to pre celebrate my birthday but I get more depressed after the celebration . He fall asleep just after the dinner claiming the beer tired him out and he told me he didnt buy anything for me cause he didnt know what i like !! He say that i bought a new watch and he said he paid me for the watch i bough as a birthday gift.
Well i told him is nit the gift that's matter but his heart. I dont want him to pay for the watch i bought

Do you think i am being too demanding ? Am i too sensitive ? I am depressed ...especially both of them telling different stories and the PRC women cursing me and scolding me to give ways !
 


this is really too much. If i am you, get the evidence, show to your husband u mean business. For the PRC, go ICA or MOM to blacklist her, she did wrong and can be so shameless to scold u.
 
Good, at least you are working with income.

No, I don't think that you are demanding and sensitive. Trust is broken, and let your husband knows that he must do something to regain your trust in this marriage.
Retrieve the evidences and save it properly as it may be useful some day.

Don't be too upset with the other woman, she is out to anger you and trying to make you jealous.

Do you plan to salvage this marriage?
 
What time does your hubby come home daily? isit very late or early in the wee hours? I dun think that garbage has the right to scold you. Also since your hubby has already confessed that things have changed since he is committed to changing himself. You can try to send her sorry ass back home. You can also call police if the harrassment continues. Make it big, wake up our hubby and that biatch's idea. FYI i totally dislike most PRC.

One more thing, tell ya hubby, if he is so committed to you, make him hand over 90% of his income to you monthly. No money, no honey. And tell him, this is the way you know best you can trust and recover from his infidelity last time.
 
Hi,

So sorry to hear abt yr situation. I went through the exact same thing as you. Only diff is my ex-husband didnt ask for forgiveness or do anything to salvage the marriage.

During that time, i did wat damon suggested and asked him to credit his pay to our jt account and to show me his credit card statements etc to make sure he did not spend anyrhing on her. But he still get to keep watever he has in his savings account. The thing is, for this to work, he must willingly be transparent with everything and not only show it to you when you ask for it. If not it will be very tiring to keep tag on him all the time.

What eventually leads to the divorce is when i discovered a msg frm the woman to him tellg him to stop pesterg her and something abt her being grateful that he's going to leave the family in a yr's time. Tat's the ultimatum cos all along he told me the woman was pesterg him.

These prc women can be very scheming and the methods they use are more or less similar. I didnt know i can blacklist her frm sgp at tat time cos when i called the neighbourhood police post,they told me i cant do anything unless she create trouble and is caught red handed.

Follow yr heart. You know best if yr husband is truly repentent and put in effort to salvage the marriage.
 
Daman said:
What time does your hubby come home daily? isit very late or early in the wee hours? I dun think that garbage has the right to scold you. Also since your hubby has already confessed that things have changed since he is committed to changing himself. You can try to send her sorry ass back home. You can also call police if the harrassment continues. Make it big, wake up our hubby and that biatch's idea. FYI i totally dislike most PRC.

One more thing, tell ya hubby, if he is so committed to you, make him hand over 90% of his income to you monthly. No money, no honey. And tell him, this is the way you know best you can trust and recover from his infidelity last time.
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i agree on the money part.
maybe install cctv at home, so can have evidence to send the prc back to her hometown :p
 
RoroTan
i am not helping your husband. but it might just be a moment of weakness for him where he succumb to temptation.

try to help him start over. get a new phone number. remove all those apps that cause this. nowadays phones can block numbers. of course, if he is sincere to change, he must be willing to do all these.
 
jayjayqueenie said:
RoroTan
i am not helping your husband. but it might just be a moment of weakness for him where he succumb to temptation.

try to help him start over. get a new phone number. remove all those apps that cause this. nowadays phones can block numbers. of course, if he is sincere to change, he must be willing to do all these.
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i think it's not a moment of weakness, he went back to the PRC again despite the wife knowing it.
I think it's going to take more then getting him a handphone.
 
jayjayqueenie said:
i agree on the money part.
maybe install cctv at home, so can have evidence to send the prc back to her hometown :p
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pls don'tinstall cctv at home. U can't use it, and worse if he find out, money wil be wasted.
if u really wan to get rid of the PRC, get a PI to get the evidence.
 
Roro, permanent solution ...get yr hb to cough out that PRC name n passport number n go to MOM or make a harresement report n repatriate her to her shit hole. U are his lawful n legal wife, so dun b afraid to take up yr rights against these FT chabo ..I sent one back to Msia, file a harassment report n sent the cops after her, yap ..i added pepper n spice 50% but she was downstairs every other day waiting for hb, so I did what a mum would do to protect her kids n family..nvr regret till today.

So...take yr rightful position given by the law, use it. Feel free to pm me if u need ideas :)
 
Ever since the influx of foreigners, especially the PRC bunch, there have been more and more family problems. Seriously, those PRC women have their way to get into Singapore using all sorts of ways but the Government is not doing anything about it.

For my case, I filed a report against the PRC at MOM and till now it had been 9 months and MOM say they are still investigating. Till now, there is no conclusion and she is still in Singapore.
 
KitKatBreak said:
Ever since the influx of foreigners, especially the PRC bunch, there have been more and more family problems. Seriously, those PRC women have their way to get into Singapore using all sorts of ways but the Government is not doing anything about it.

For my case, I filed a report against the PRC at MOM and till now it had been 9 months and MOM say they are still investigating. Till now, there is no conclusion and she is still in Singapore.
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It is not easy to get those PRC out. For my case, I engaged a PI to find out more about her and gathered evidence To show my hubby that his 20yr old PRC slut holding student pass is actually a prostititue after all. She collected money from my PI for the services she offered. We took pictures of her working in ktv etc. My hubby finally decided to come back to salvage the marriage.
I engaged a lawyer to draft a letter attached with the PI report to send to ICA. And the lawyer also advised me to use his letter to send to all the possibility state board which could of some help and the minister to Ensure everyone has being informed of the case in order to expedite my case and the same letter was sent to her private school. ICA took over my case and responded to my email that they take such case seriously and the will further conduct investigation to take actions towards her. In the same email, the private school vice principal responded to say she will terminate her student pass with immediate effect.
I later learned from the Vice principal that she ia not coming back anymore. She told me that she did called her in China (she went back to meet her fiancé who is out from prison)when she knew About my case. She said she had always tell her students not to breakup the family here but it don't seems to help.
She called her to informed her about my report and terminated her student pass. She responded to the school she is not coming back and she also send a message to my PI asking what I want from her. The last thing she did on her WeChat (she used this in Singapore and used QQ in China to prevent her China Friend and family to see the WeChat post and to to know what she is doing in Singapore, her China Friend and family thought she is here to study English but don't know she is actually freelance in KTv and work as a prostitute. she the last thing she did was to change her wechat photo. The original photo was with a message in mandarin "quickly come and eat me" to a acteess photo with message saying "Love is so precious, why are you giving up."
My hubby has always felt that he was not loved by his parents and me and also our Son. This slut PRC managed to convince him thAt she loved him and drain out all his saving that We saved for raining days.
To conclude, My hubby changed his phone number and write to WeChat to terminate his existing account and I gave all evidences to The relevant authority to nail her down.
It is a Lengthy and heartbroken process for knowing all the details in order to do a complete termination of the PRC slut student pass and prevent her from coming to Singapore again!
Not everyone can cope with this ordeal and I really hope our government be more stringent in issuing student pass. I really don't think to issue student pass for PRC to come Singapore to study is a good or valid reason!!!
 
95huili said:
It is not easy to get those PRC out. For my case, I engaged a PI to find out more about her and gathered evidence To show my hubby that his 20yr old PRC slut holding student pass is actually a prostititue after all. She collected money from my PI for the services she offered. We took pictures of her working in ktv etc. My hubby finally decided to come back to salvage the marriage.
I engaged a lawyer to draft a letter attached with the PI report to send to ICA. And the lawyer also advised me to use his letter to send to all the possibility state board which could of some help and the minister to Ensure everyone has being informed of the case in order to expedite my case and the same letter was sent to her private school. ICA took over my case and responded to my email that they take such case seriously and the will further conduct investigation to take actions towards her. In the same email, the private school vice principal responded to say she will terminate her student pass with immediate effect.
I later learned from the Vice principal that she ia not coming back anymore. She told me that she did called her in China (she went back to meet her fiancé who is out from prison)when she knew About my case. She said she had always tell her students not to breakup the family here but it don't seems to help.
She called her to informed her about my report and terminated her student pass. She responded to the school she is not coming back and she also send a message to my PI asking what I want from her. The last thing she did on her WeChat (she used this in Singapore and used QQ in China to prevent her China Friend and family to see the WeChat post and to to know what she is doing in Singapore, her China Friend and family thought she is here to study English but don't know she is actually freelance in KTv and work as a prostitute. she the last thing she did was to change her wechat photo. The original photo was with a message in mandarin "quickly come and eat me" to a acteess photo with message saying "Love is so precious, why are you giving up."
My hubby has always felt that he was not loved by his parents and me and also our Son. This slut PRC managed to convince him thAt she loved him and drain out all his saving that We saved for raining days.
To conclude, My hubby changed his phone number and write to WeChat to terminate his existing account and I gave all evidences to The relevant authority to nail her down.
It is a Lengthy and heartbroken process for knowing all the details in order to do a complete termination of the PRC slut student pass and prevent her from coming to Singapore again!
Not everyone can cope with this ordeal and I really hope our government be more stringent in issuing student pass. I really don't think to issue student pass for PRC to come Singapore to study is a good or valid reason!!!
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Student pass is not the only channel that they are using to enter Singapore. Some are even able to get work permits. Mine actually uses a work permit to stay here. And best of all, it was the shitty man who help to get it for her.
 
Initially, I filed the report to ICA and they referred it to MOM. The PRC had a valid work permit but does not report to work at the company that applied the permit for her. Instead, she works at nightclubs on freelance basis and goes back to her country as and when she likes. Both the man and the PRC were under investigation, other than that the person who applied the work permit was in deep shit too. Now, to everyone in his family, I was a bad woman and totally transparent to them.
 
Oh kitkatbreak ...be strong n dun be bother what others think of you, you did well n brave n u stood up for your family n kids, bravo .... In time this episode will pass n pride heal ...so hang in there.... God bless
 
KitKatbreak, unfortunately many men use their small head below to think! Karma will be served to them one day. People who think you had did the wrong thing coz they are not thinking properly. We should protect ourself and report all the illegal activities so that our government put more attention and have better policy to stop these illegal prostitutes from freelance here. They can spread sexual disease in a larger scale without been diagnosed due to the Long window period to detect. I am more concern should the innocent Wife and children been affected since I have heard most of the men and these women do not use condoms.

Men who do not take responsibility and care towards their family safety should be castrated for goodness sake!
 
Hi 95huili ..how r you?

The govt knows the problem but its an issue since the beginning of time so let your anger of injustice, betrayal n lies go ..calm down ... Calm yr emotions down n dun dwell on these thoughts..its not helping you ...trust me ...we all hv been hurt n you are not the only one ...there was a time wanted to set those places on fire .. So calm down dear
 
We do not have any kids. This is one of the reasons why he stray, saying we have no kids. We had seen a doctor before and there is problem on his sperm quality so difficult to conceive. I may have problem on my side too and willing to go for treatments if required. But for him, he cannot accept the fact and not willing to follow up for treatment.

I do not live with him, living on my own now. I am working and able to support myself. Am spending more time with my parents, do what I like, go for short holidays when I feel like going.

He even brought the PRC home treating her as part of the family. He just do what he likes, I believe in karma, one day...

We had not been in contact for the past few months. He called me a few days ago but did not pick up his call.
 
Is so sad to hear all this shit is still happening this days . Roro, my advised to you is file a police report and tell them the prc woman is harassing you,and for record purposes , keep all the text it will be useful later if anything goes wrong.
I did exactly that and used them in court during my divorced. Please do not tell your hubby before you file the report. Watch out she might come to your house like my did called the police immediately if she does. Do not exchange conversation with her because it will anger you . So stay calm and ignore her she will be piss if you do that . Sorry to say PRC will never give up. Pm me if u need help.
All the best .
Remembered to stay calm !
 
Oh kitkatbreak..sorry to hear that...but u r a strong gal ..level head n brave. Are u divorce ? Move on, he's not worth you gal. If you want to hang on, you know u hv to fight n bring him to his senses. Whichever I support you,gal. Keep it up ... God bless
 
Hi , while I'm reading this I found out that I'm not alone with my situation . Im Filipina , ive been married in Sg last year with a British guy, he is working in Singapore . For 1 year then we get married , we encountered a lot of trials in our relationship before the we get married , like I found out that he keeps talking to his Thai gf while I'm working , cause I'm working in a 7/11 and I'm night shift . It's 1 month before the wedding I found out that he keeps gossiping me to his Thai ex gf. I saw all the email he told her he miss her and etc that broke my heart so much . But he apologised and I forgive him and I still marry him. While i was was working I found out again in his phone he forgot to delete the message that he went to the hotel of his friend it's a girl then they went to clarquey for the whole night it's also a Thai then when I got home she asked me if I will work on my night off I said no, I saw in his face he is unhappy then I saw the message again that they are planning to go to Sentosa on that day and because I stay at home he didn't go out. I caught all of this in his phone cause he didn't know that I know the password of his phone.last December 2014 he lost his job and he moved back to UK . And because I'm holding a dependant pass he cancelled it and I move back to Philippines . The worst things is I already sort out a lot papers for my spouse visa going to UK , I pay the agency from my savings while working in Sg before cause he didn't give any money in me. He had a lot of excuses it's been two times that I've been to Manila to do the medical and the ielts exam but he keeps changing his mind then find a reason to argue with me . He wants me to pay the visa and etc. then later on he decided to end our marriage . He keeps telling me that he miss his Thai ex gf he want to go to Thailand for Holliday and etc.i keep fighting to save our marriage I keep begging him cause we got married last September 2014 in 6 months he end our marriage he is not even wait to have a 1 year anniversary . Last June 2015 he blocked me in all account even his number I don't have only his email I have , I keep begging him on his email but he called me a lot of names and sending me picx that he is having a good time . He keeps messaging me in email until now saying he still love me , and I replied I want him back and cooperate to save our marriage all his reply is he laugh and he only message me cause he miss talking to me . It's been 1 year this month since we didn't see each other but still I can't move on cause he keeps messaging me in email and I still hurt a lot knowing the fact that he is been back together with his Thai gf. And December 24 this year he message me that he is in Thailand spending Christmas and Holliday with the bitch Thai woman . That Thai woman knows that he is married.i need all your help what should I do ? Do I continue to pray that he will come back to me at the end of the day ? It's hard for me to forgive him and accept him in my life again but I hurt a lot cause I'm still love him but I don't trust him anymore he likes to play a woman's feelings . To be honest there's a guy who really love me but I don't give him a chance cause I'm still Inlove with my husband . I don't know what I need to do . ? Move on ? Or continue to pray and have faith that someday he will comeback cause we are married ?
 
Hi Kienichols, sorry to known you sad story, my 5cents worth says he was using you. I think you know but your heart isn't accepting this obvious fact. Trying giving yourself 1yr space and see how. Let time reveals the truth. God bless
 
gladjo said:
Hi Kienichols, sorry to known you sad story, my 5cents worth says he was using you. I think you know but your heart isn't accepting this obvious fact. Trying giving yourself 1yr space and see how. Let time reveals the truth. God bless
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To be honest that's what I felt also he marry me because he is alone in Sg before no friends and he is homesick . I regret so much about my decision of marrying him cause it's only 6 months that we dated and decided to get married . Even if it's already 1 year since we didn't see each other but still I can't control my tears and the pain still fresh. I asked him to divorce me cause I want to cleared my marriage record here in my home country cause it's very hard to filed an annulment here , he said he is not going to waste his money to divorce me cause he is not registered as married in UK . Only in Sg and philipines cause British embassy don't accept report of marriage . And it happened that there country knows about his status he said he is still not ready to let me go cause he is not sure to his woman right now if it is a perfect wife for him . He is very greedy two timer guy . He don't care my tears and feelings . I wanted to remove my heart .
 
sorry to ride on this thread, seeking some advice here.
F 38 with 1 kid. recently went out for drinks with a friend and ended up getting to cuddly/physical with him. After I am back, I feel rather guilty but am now wondering if my partner does the same with other lady friends of his.
From what I see, he seem devoted to family, comes home after work for dinner and spends weekends with family. Occasionally late nights, work late and dinner with colleagues. Esle this happens only once or twice weekly. All other days, he spends his time with family.
From my recent outing with said friend, we have known each other for decades and I am not attracted to him, I assume neither is he. He is also happily married from what I see. I was rather disappointed it ended this way, now I am uncomfortable to go out alone with this friend, someone I trusted and trade stories with. Is it impossible to mantain a platonic relationship? I have always assumed we are one, now I am confused.

ps: to add I am uncomfortable to reply PM about my post, and would rather reply in this thread. hope you dont get offended. I get strange thoughts about who is sending me private messages, so would want to limit my replies to this thread and not PM.
 
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Hi samseven ... My 5 cents worth hor ...what you do with yr marriage...nobody can tell u except yourself but every action hv a positive n negative reaction ... Here in yr case, positive is awakening on yourself n self reflection, negative would be Like now, you begin to question your hb n marriage.

Its up to you really but if ..if your guy fren who is married n knows u r married, doesn't it seem odd to you that he's 'dating' you ? Or...he's having marriage problem n u r 'his to-be reason' ?? Just a thought. ..

I personally hv come across such guys n its just so piss me off n my bf also tells me openly, this is guy's issue is very common n most guys like married women. Others may differ from me...but personally I hv come across.
 
samseven said:
sorry to ride on this thread, seeking some advice here.
F 38 with 1 kid. recently went out for drinks with a friend and ended up getting to cuddly/physical with him. After I am back, I feel rather guilty but am now wondering if my partner does the same with other lady friends of his.
From what I see, he seem devoted to family, comes home after work for dinner and spends weekends with family. Occasionally late nights, work late and dinner with colleagues. Esle this happens only once or twice weekly. All other days, he spends his time with family.
From my recent outing with said friend, we have known each other for decades and I am not attracted to him, I assume neither is he. He is also happily married from what I see. I was rather disappointed it ended this way, now I am uncomfortable to go out alone with this friend, someone I trusted and trade stories with. Is it impossible to mantain a platonic relationship? I have always assumed we are one, now I am confused.

ps: to add I am uncomfortable to reply PM about my post, and would rather reply in this thread. hope you dont get offended. I get strange thoughts about who is sending me private messages, so would want to limit my replies to this thread and not PM.
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I believe you are too comfortable with him tat y this thing happen.
It take 2 hands to clap.
wat done cannot be undone.
Just move on and make sure it will not happen again.
 
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thks for the advice, i didnt foresee this and frankly I have never strayed when married. i did when I was dating then BF before this partner and thought nothing of it.
while married, I got so busy with work and children, family life that my socialising opportunities dropped. This is the 1st time my friend is behaving strangely and a few attempts to tell him to give me some space.. we still got too close for comfort. What is a no no? Hugs and holding hands? are these actions very innocent? We were in public places, and I was rather worried I will bump into aquantainces and friends, and get "stomped"
 
Actually. you already have the answer yourself. you know something is wrong, be it hugs or touches and etc. But the lure of attention after socialising opportunities dropped has kept a subconscious part of you yearning for ya friend's attention which your conscious part wouldnt admit. My take, stop meeting him and be clear to him. Unless you dun mind losing ya hubby one dae if this leads to something...
 
Hi samsevrn ..that's why I said may be...just may b ...2 cents worth.. He's having martial problems, he just need an excuse ... But any any married guy know full well..no smooching with married women, its too complicated. And when feelings developed further, the harder it is to shake off. that's why some are living double lives n matter of time truth comes out n shining castle crumples along with everyone in it. Its good u know now n rebuild yr marriage. God bless
 
Thanks, I agree and am determined to distance myself from said friend. My marriage though not rocky but its not exactly its prime either. Would concentrate my energy to my marriage and kids. As for this experience, most unfortunate and very strange, I doubt I will find myself alone with him again, sober or not.
 
Hi 9Shuili
Read your post and I am exactly in the same situations as your a few years ago. However, the agony is I do not have enough money to engage a PI. Can you recommend yours to me? My hb is having affair with the KTV China women for nearly a year now. He is so in love with her that he do not provide for the family but he splurge dinners, branded gifts and travel with her. He even beat me on Xmas night when we have argument regards the China girl. The women is holding a student pass too. I just do not understand how come a men can change so much for those PRC prostitutes!
 
wenka said:
Hi 9Shuili
Read your post and I am exactly in the same situations as your a few years ago. However, the agony is I do not have enough money to engage a PI. Can you recommend yours to me? My hb is having affair with the KTV China women for nearly a year now. He is so in love with her that he do not provide for the family but he splurge dinners, branded gifts and travel with her. He even beat me on Xmas night when we have argument regards the China girl. The women is holding a student pass too. I just do not understand how come a men can change so much for those PRC prostitutes!
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Wenka, not all men are like that. for me, I am on the opposite. My wife do everything don't even want to tell me. I work and study every day hoping to earn more for the family. But I just keep getting silences from my wife.
 
RoroTan said:
I caught my husband cheating last year . He had a affair with a PRC. I confronted him and he make lots of empty promises that he will leave her but end up I was being hurt over and over again. Thing get worst when the stupid PRC women called me from time to time to claim victory ! She scold me a pig who only know how to give birth to 3 kids, and i am a failure that I am cant control my man at home and that's why she was in a relationship with him . She told me she wouldn't want to break up my family as long as i closed one eye. My husband has asked me to forgive him and he will leave the women for good cause family are important to him , he said i should have protected the family and him from being lure by this China Chic ! I am getting depressed and confuse. Last month he promised he will really leave her for good . He will block her wechat. Block her calls and msg but after 3 weeks i was surprised that he contacted her and chat with her 40min !! When I asked him why , he show me his log that the women has been calling him everyday 5 to 8 times and he said he shud have confronted the women once and for all on 19th Nov 2015. That was last . He asked me to trust him but I dont anymore . Do you think I am being over sensitive ? yesterday he asked me out for dinner to pre celebrate my birthday but I get more depressed after the celebration . He fall asleep just after the dinner claiming the beer tired him out and he told me he didnt buy anything for me cause he didnt know what i like !! He say that i bought a new watch and he said he paid me for the watch i bough as a birthday gift.
Well i told him is nit the gift that's matter but his heart. I dont want him to pay for the watch i bought

Do you think i am being too demanding ? Am i too sensitive ? I am depressed ...especially both of them telling different stories and the PRC women cursing me and scolding me to give ways !
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Omg...he is really too much.....really need to have a heart to heart talk
 
I’m a PR and my husband is a Singaporean. Today, i randomly checked his phone and found out that he’s engaging in a ‘massage parlor’. I’m not so sure if he went there already or just booked an appt. I have all the evidence of the time he contact the number and also i found out that the number belongs to a PRC that do those sexual services that can search from the internet. It’s not his first time to do this last time with Thai, Viet etc. We’re having a 2nd child and we’re getting a house next year. I don’t know if i just accept it or separate him. He knows that i know but still acting blur and trying to change the topic to make me the one who’s at fault. What to do? We’re young couple so i feel that it’s better to divorce that stay in this kind of relationship.
 
Xhar0205 said:
I’m a PR and my husband is a Singaporean. Today, i randomly checked his phone and found out that he’s engaging in a ‘massage parlor’. I’m not so sure if he went there already or just booked an appt. I have all the evidence of the time he contact the number and also i found out that the number belongs to a PRC that do those sexual services that can search from the internet. It’s not his first time to do this last time with Thai, Viet etc. We’re having a 2nd child and we’re getting a house next year. I don’t know if i just accept it or separate him. He knows that i know but still acting blur and trying to change the topic to make me the one who’s at fault. What to do? We’re young couple so i feel that it’s better to divorce that stay in this kind of relationship.
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Hi Xhar0205, do you think divorce will solve the problem? Remember, no matter decision what you decided. The most innocent are the children, God have given you. I don't know whether to be religious here (sorry if i offend any readers) but i know that, it have to be a reason why God give you this marriage and bless you with 2 kids. I can tell you honestly, i have people close to me having wonderful relationship as husband and wife but God, he did not bless them with kids. Just like me, i have marriage issues too. But i know God given me 2 children, the reason is that God knows my marriage will face this external affairs. With God's blessing of the 2 children, i will have to find the love to bond the family again. Every individual family have different problems, if you think divorce will solve the problem and give happiness to the children. To my own opinion, i think you are still selfish. (This was who i was last year- when i have the same thought) If you are a free-thinker, dont think or do any action first. Spend the remaining of this week, go youtube, watch stories about "Jesus the Messiah" or anything about Jesus. (I quote this, is because this is how i pass through the darkest period when no one can help me. Seeking him make me look things at a greater sight. "God is Real") Sorry for my lengthy msg, just want to pass on my experience in this problem hope to help another person or friend. Do pm me if you need more understanding how i went thru my darkest and deepest period.
 
kind_vigilante said:
Hi Xhar0205, do you think divorce will solve the problem? Remember, no matter decision what you decided. The most innocent are the children, God have given you. I don't know whether to be religious here (sorry if i offend any readers) but i know that, it have to be a reason why God give you this marriage and bless you with 2 kids. I can tell you honestly, i have people close to me having wonderful relationship as husband and wife but God, he did not bless them with kids. Just like me, i have marriage issues too. But i know God given me 2 children, the reason is that God knows my marriage will face this external affairs. With God's blessing of the 2 children, i will have to find the love to bond the family again. Every individual family have different problems, if you think divorce will solve the problem and give happiness to the children. To my own opinion, i think you are still selfish. (This was who i was last year- when i have the same thought) If you are a free-thinker, dont think or do any action first. Spend the remaining of this week, go youtube, watch stories about "Jesus the Messiah" or anything about Jesus. (I quote this, is because this is how i pass through the darkest period when no one can help me. Seeking him make me look things at a greater sight. "God is Real") Sorry for my lengthy msg, just want to pass on my experience in this problem hope to help another person or friend. Do pm me if you need more understanding how i went thru my darkest and deepest period.
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Thank you. I know divorce is not a good thing to think now as we’re having a 2nd child but im still very confuse if i should just ignore it and move on. The first time he did it 3yrs ago, his family knows but end up all go to his side and end up im the one who’s creating so much drama. Now, i dont want to include his family in our problem coz now we’re still staying in his parent’s house. I’m 34weeks pregnant now and i cannot go back to my country as i cannot take flight already.
 
I will say, give birth already then think.. Probably by then he may change his mind, and become a better person, as in, stop going those places. (Hopefully)
If by then he still don't change, then you can start re-consider about this marriage
 
DonLee said:
I will say, give birth already then think.. Probably by then he may change his mind, and become a better person, as in, stop going those places. (Hopefully)
If by then he still don't change, then you can start re-consider about this marriage
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Thank you. I will just focus on my daughters. Actually i dont feel any anger or sadness. I just feel disgusted on how my husband’s actions. hahaha
 
It happen once and it's happen again.
He will continuing do this till he's caught and he will stop. Then do it again. It's a cat n mouse game.
U seriously have to think what u wan next, and plan for your future.
If u don't help yourself, no one will help u. Even god(No offence to any religion here)
 
wendy_reborn said:
It happen once and it's happen again.
He will continuing do this till he's caught and he will stop. Then do it again. It's a cat n mouse game.
U seriously have to think what u wan next, and plan for your future.
If u don't help yourself, no one will help u. Even god(No offence to any religion here)
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Yes it keeps on repeating again that’s why i dont feel any anger or sadness already. I just want to separate and live our own life without each other. So atleast if he do it again i no need to care
 
We are all simple woman. Just have a simple life. Life go on without him.
If really he have a conscience, he will stop n come back to the family
 
Yes. Focus on your child for now. Rest don't think about it.
Whatever happened have happened. After give birth, if situation still that bad, then proceed with divorce if that's your final decision
 
Xhar0205 said:
Thank you. I know divorce is not a good thing to think now as we’re having a 2nd child but im still very confuse if i should just ignore it and move on. The first time he did it 3yrs ago, his family knows but end up all go to his side and end up im the one who’s creating so much drama. Now, i dont want to include his family in our problem coz now we’re still staying in his parent’s house. I’m 34weeks pregnant now and i cannot go back to my country as i cannot take flight already.
Click to expand...
I understand how you feel. If I'm you, I will definitely divorce with my hubby already. Since it's not the first time anymore.
However, since you are pregnant now, I agree with DonLee that to focus on your birth and children for now.
Once give birth, then file for the divorce
 
JL8118 said:
I understand how you feel. If I'm you, I will definitely divorce with my hubby already. Since it's not the first time anymore.
However, since you are pregnant now, I agree with DonLee that to focus on your birth and children for now.
Once give birth, then file for the divorce
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Im thinking the same thing as well. but the prob is im PR only and my husband and children are all singaporean so im scared that the govt will be in favor of my husband. i don’t want to go back to my home country without my children. Any advise how the govt settle the divorce here?
 
Xhar0205 said:
Im thinking the same thing as well. but the prob is im PR only and my husband and children are all singaporean so im scared that the govt will be in favor of my husband. i don’t want to go back to my home country without my children. Any advise how the govt settle the divorce here?
Click to expand...

Since you have proof that your hubby had affair, or engage sexual service, keep the proof.
It's a helpful proof against filing for divorce against husband.
But am not sure how long is the proof going to valid
As in, if 6 months later you decide to file for divorce, wonder if these proofs are still acceptable by the court.

Singapore law favour the mother/woman usually under Woman Chartered Law. Hence most likely children will go to you. Unless you don't want or unable to take care of your child.

Worst come to worst, probably will one child for you, and the other for your husband. But such case is very rare as usually court didn't want the siblings to be separated.
 


JL8118 said:
Since you have proof that your hubby had affair, or engage sexual service, keep the proof.
It's a helpful proof against filing for divorce against husband.
But am not sure how long is the proof going to valid
As in, if 6 months later you decide to file for divorce, wonder if these proofs are still acceptable by the court.

Singapore law favour the mother/woman usually under Woman Chartered Law. Hence most likely children will go to you. Unless you don't want or unable to take care of your child.

Worst come to worst, probably will one child for you, and the other for your husband. But such case is very rare as usually court didn't want the siblings to be separated.
Click to expand...

Yes i kept the proof and im not showing him and will use it in the future. I mean he’s asking about it now but i dont want to send him coz i know that he will make it my fault like why i check his phone etc. He always say that he should have privacy but the thing is he’s doing something behind my back. i really pity my children coz they have a disgusting father
 
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