Bonding with BB

Discussion in 'Year 2009 Mums' started by huiqi16, Feb 24, 2009.

  1. huiqi16

    huiqi16 Member

    How do mummies out there bond with your babies??

    I was told by friends to read books, sing and talk to Babies but is there any other way of bonding???
  2. poopoo

    poopoo Active Member

    Massage your baby.
    Bathe your baby.
    Change diaper.
    Breastfeeding.
  3. zolldoll

    zolldoll Member

    I try to squeeze in time and not be lazy if i can to play with my son or read him some books when i am with him at night. Even if i am very lazy that night, i still give him lots of cuddles and kisses and i actually taught my son to kiss me back which he does now.
  4. onlyson

    onlyson New Member

    Hi,

    I always make an effort to bath my ds after my long day work. Play with him in the bath tub with his favourite bath book and bath toy.

    I read a book abt bonding with babies. Besides the above-mentioned. You may like to carry him with sling or baby carrier when you're doing some light activities. It said it'll promote bonding too.

    Mimick baby's cooing, eye to eye contact it's another way to bond with baby as this is a way of communication.
  5. huiqi16

    huiqi16 Member

    Hi mummies,

    Thanks for sharing..

    Appreciate greatly.

    I do bathe, change n feed my ds myself, but ds seems to be closer to my in-laws...

    Whenever my in-laws carry or talk to him, he will be smiling away and when I talk or carry him, it will take him some time to warm up and smile back at me..

    Im kinda sad that ds seems not close to me.

    Any mummies experience this too???
  6. wan

    wan Member

    yes, same problem esp for FTWM, but don't give up! u r doing it right :)
  7. huiqi16

    huiqi16 Member

    I will...

    Thanks for the encouragement!!!! :p
  8. zolldoll

    zolldoll Member

    Hi, i have this problem too. My son is very attached with my in laws, and will refuse to let or hubby carry him if they are around. Sometimes, he cries when i want to bring him home. Or he closes the gate on us the minute we are out of the house, meaning he rather be there then return with us. My mil even commented maybe we have done something to him so son phobia of us. I swear we did not, but may be we do not spoil him as much, and i scold or beat him when he is in the wrong. Now i am used to it, but still trying hard to make my son closer to us.
  9. cactus_79

    cactus_79 New Member

    I'm a FTWM, and I couldn't bear the thought of my BB not being close to me. So made it a point to wake up every morning earlier than my bb to prepare for work, then when bb wakes up, I spend time with him (2 hrs), and when I return home from work, I play wit hhim, bathe him, and go through his bedtime routine with him before putting him to sleep (1.5 hrs). I find that I'm much closer to him than my dad and my maid who look after him during the day. Maybe it's the quality of time that we spend with our bbs rather than the duration of time? I also make sure I look after my bb during weekends. the maid just does housework and cook. my parents do their own thing during weekends (ie.go shopping, go out for meals). I stay at home with my bb cos I find outside too many distractions and I can't bond properly with him.

    Another thing too.. it's hard to expect grandparents to discipline our bbs..
  10. slepyvon

    slepyvon Active Member

    yes my gals are closer to my mil at first which i felt so upset too but i cont to be hands on with them. Now my eldest stick to me like glue.
    Don gif up!
  11. wan

    wan Member

    just to share:

    when my son was around 6mth, I rem it was the 1st time I was left alone to handle him when my MIL need to run errands. he cried non-stop so much so that I have to sit at the door to wait for grandma to come home.

    at 8mth, ILs brought my boy home to stay with them. HB & me only visit after work & go home w/out bb at night.

    I thought enuf is enuf. when I had my 2nd bb, I insisted to take care of her MYSELF since my son already stick to MIL & jealous of sister. I also took advantage of my maternity leave to bond with my boy.

    now my 4yo boy & 17mth girl r close to me. they will each grab a book and sit on my lap, 1 on each side. but still have a long way to go.

    ganbatte mummies!!
  12. huiqi16

    huiqi16 Member

    wow.. it really takes alot of effort for BB to be close to us.

    Im not sure if any mummies have the same feeling as me.. whenever my In-laws or sis-in-laws carry him for long time.. i will feel kinda unhappy about it.

    Beside bathing, feeding and changing bb, rest of the time, my in-laws will carry him to their room to play and will only return bb to me when bb is asleep. I really feel upset about it as I dont seem to have time to bond with bb. I think thats why my son is closer to my in-laws than me.

    I guess i will have to move out with hubby and have our own nest, should i be expecting a 2nd one so that i have all the time to bond with my bb
  13. cactus_79

    cactus_79 New Member

    qiqi, maybe you can ask your ILs to let you play with your bb? after all, you are the mother? If not, why don't you play with your baby with your ILs? Like, go to their room to play also? Im' sure there is a solution.. dun need to wait till move out yeah?!
  14. wan

    wan Member

    qiqi,

    my point is that we should not give up, not to have 2nd one bcos of that reason la...kekeke...of course if u plan for 2nd one, it's good too! in my case, I did whatever I didn't get to do with my #1 to my #2. eg. I bf her longer including all the night feedings

    I dun quite understand how come ur MIL dun let u play with ur bb? just carry him, use a bb's voice to say 'grandma, I'm gg to play with mummy' and off u go. this way, u won't sound rude and at the same time can teach ur son new words.

    find some activities that u can do with ur son that ur ILs can't. for me, I read nursery rhymes, sing action songs and play silly games with them. he needs to hear ur voice more often to bond with u.
  15. cactus_79

    cactus_79 New Member

    qiqi, I agree with Wan, esp "he needs to hear ur voice more often to bond with u".

    Things don't really fall onto our laps for no reason. If we want our bb to bond with us, we need to continually make effort (ever changing effort to meet the needs of our bbs).

    I am very tired from working and preparing bb food (I make purees twice a week - once on weekend, once on weekday evenings), cooking bb porridge every morning, and spending time with my hb when he returns from work. But I still persist in doing these, and bonding with bb cos I'm the mother and I want my boy to feel that I love him enough to spend time with him to bond.
  16. huiqi16

    huiqi16 Member

    ok.. im cracking my head now to see what ways that i can have more time with my bb.

    perhaps i should close my bedroom door after feeding bb so that i have more time to bond with bb. if not whenever after i feed him, i open the door, everyone in the house will be so eagar to carry him out to play [​IMG]
  17. cactus_79

    cactus_79 New Member

    qiqi, actually, you can also play with your bb together with everyone else. [​IMG] that's what I feel lah. your bb will benefit from lots of human interaction. one - to- one is good interaction also, but group interaction can be good for bb. Best is to have a mix. Your bb is very lucky. He sounds very loved!
  18. wan

    wan Member

    qiqi,

    due to the bb to adult ratio in my family, my children are also surrounded by loving family members who shower my children with gifts and love. as ur bb grow older, u can introduce more activities with him. everyone will be looking forward to bb 1st word, 1st smile, sitting up, turning around, standing up & many other milestones. u will not only bond with ur bb, but also as a family. Enjoy every moment of motherhood!
  19. ariajo

    ariajo Active Member

    qiqi,
    i somehow think it's a phase. if you're the one fully take care of him and also during the night, sooner or later, your bb will be closer to you eventually when they're older. but i can say the samething for cases whereby the baby is 80% taken care by ILs or nanny.

    when my girl was a few months old, she liked my FIL to carry her. I always feel so jealous and angry whenever my FIL extend his hand, and my girl responded but not with me or anyone else. but now, my girl sticks to me like super glue! she will call for me to carry her sometimes when she's in my FIL's arm! most of the time when she's not in her good mood, she only wants me to pacify her and dun want anyone to carry her [​IMG] huh..feel so satisfied..haha..i think BF and playing with her does trick and also now that she's older, she know who is mummy and daddy.. she knows the difference.
  20. royndor

    royndor New Member

    my girl also closer to everyone in the house except me... but i am still trying... sometimes in the evening i bring her for a walk... do whatever i can to bond..

    but i think she prefer guys... as in hb then me, fil then mil and bil then sil...

    hmmm how huh
  21. holeyman1

    holeyman1 New Member

    sleeping together would be another way of bonding was told that bb's would prefer the same smell or something thereabouts =)

Share This Page