I am married for 6 years and my husband and I are both 35 years old based in Singapore. We were high school sweethearts and knew each other since we were 16. He is my first love and so am I to him. I fell in love with him for two main reasons; he is very shy with girls unlike my other guy friends and religious. We both went off to universities in different states. I remain totally loyal to him despite being famous in the university and had many proposals by guys with better look, money and future. I was madly and deeply in love with him until reality hits me. I discovered he was cheating me with few girls from his university. I discovered the extent of his cheating bit by bit. I discovered he choose to lose his virginity with a slut rather than me. He slept around with two sluts and we had a very rough situation. Fighting and break ups and getting back together. While this happening, he had a relationship with another new girl. I wanted to break up, but loved him too much to let go. I trusted his words and believed his tears and he swore on me and his mother that he is a changed man.
Fast forward, we got jobs in the same city and I tested him once using my mum’s number and he entertained “the girl” without knowing it’s me and went to the extent of meeting her at the agreed place. He got busted and again the drama of crying, begging and asking for my forgiveness happened. And I again stupidly believed him, all because I still love him so very much.
Moving on, we got married and had problem in conceiving baby. It took us 4 years to conceive and docs said it was his problem. I was happily married despite the occasional regrets of why he cheated on me and the occasional cries in the shower thinking about the past despite in has been 10 years since it happened. I do at times reminds him the pain he had caused me and he will confidently brushed it off saying it was before we were married and he is a loyal husband now. That he has never ever even think of cheating on me since we were married. He always asks me if I have any regret in marrying him and I always will answer him I am happy with him, coz that’s what I felt. I was happily married to my first love and glad I gave him a second chance. That was what things were until the day I discovered the truth, about a year ago.
It was the day we returned from a week long family vacation, my husband, the 7 months pregnant me and our 1 year old son. He went for a company lunch party that day and later at night I accidently discover from his WhatsApp messages the conversations he had with few women. It was all sexual and asking for a quick meet up for sex that day, and he did that while he was at the lunch party. I still can feel the chill I had that moment while reading the messages. I refused to believe it. The next day, I used a new number and contacted him as a random slut. Instant replies and non-stop sexual conversation. Few days of chatting and arranged to check in to hourly hotel for mutual sex. There I was with a 7 months pregnant belly walking towards him and caught him red handed waiting for the “slut”. I cried, screamed, begged, throw tantrum, hit myself in front of him. Wish to die but I was carrying my baby in me. She saved me that day. He confronted to me he had only slept with a GRO once since we were married. The rest were just online sex chatting, video calls and few casual meet ups that didn’t end with sex. It has been happening all the while, before and after we were married.
I came from a very conservative family and society. I personally believe divorce will ruin a child’s life. And I will never ever want to be the cause for that to happen to my two innocent babies. He saw how tortured I was and begged me by holding my feet not to leave him and not to take the babies away from him. He confronted two of our guy friends and they were utterly shocked and advised him to change. He swears on my unborn child that he will never ever do it again and to give him 1 final chance. He told me to leave him if he ever does it again. With only focusing on my baby son and my unborn daughter, I sucked it up, all my pain and misery and stayed on.
Went to my parents place for confinement. Was reminding him all the time on the promises he made to me. Was away for 2 months at my parents place. He would visit us every weekend. Came home after confinement and in just 10 days discovered more dirty secrets. I discovered deleted chat history with an Indonesian maid. The conversation is about asking her to have sex with him AGAIN. It was so disgusting to read what he wrote to her. Confronted him with the proofs in my hand. Managed to make him tell me everything he had done. He finally admitted of cheating me all the while and even NOW.
I was shaking and shivering as he told me all this. He was with me in the labour room two months back and witnessed the pain I went through delivering our daughter. I had bad stiches and was in terrible pain, both physically and mentally. Was telling him everyday how painful it is. And now to realise he knew and saw what I’m going through and yet choose to hunt for women and managed to have sex with 2 women for few times while I was going through hell. All this happened only 2 months after all the promises and begging. I can’t describe my pain.
He told me he has been going to prostitutes and massage parlours that offers sex services, before and after marriage. Told me he would have slept with more than 25 prostitutes excluding the massage parlours. He had been using MSN Massager all this while for sex chats and video calls and switched to Wechat 3 years back. Since using Wechat, he managed to meet women from all walk of life and ethnicity for sex. It includes dates which didn’t end up with sex and first meeting set in hotel rooms for sex. He admitted of having sex with single mother aged 23, few Indonesian and Philippines maids, a married woman who is 5 years older than him. This is mutual sex and he doesn’t need to pay them. He only spends on the hourly hotel rooms. I even called some of them using the number I retrieved from his phone and true enough it all happened. The worst is, he had sex with some of them without condom and ejaculated in them!
All this happened during office hours as I will be stuck in my office and his job nature allows him to go wherever he likes. He drives me to my workplace and picks me after office. Never ever spend the night or weekends out without me. Which wife will ever suspect a husband who goes to work at 8am and back home at 6pm and never goes out at night without me?
This confrontation happened 8 months back, in July 2015. I was numb, beyond feelings I can describe. Wanted so so badly to die. But I’m still fully breastfeeding my daughter. I need to be alive for my babies. I need to give them the perfect family to grow up in, like the perfect happy family I grew up in. My husband seems sad for few weeks, promised me all kind of things, told me he needs help, that he is addicted and can’t control himself despite knowing the consequences. He went to SLAA meeting only once and said it didn’t suit him and feels counselling is not helpful too. As months went by, he seems to be happy with life.
I on the other hand, nothing changed in me for nearly a year now. I still cry every single day when I’m alone. I feel like physically hurting myself when I’m alone. I’m very very broken inside. Finally, my love for him is not as it used to be before. Everyday I wish all this is just a bad dream. The picture of him being intimate with all this women plays in my mind non-stop. Yet, no one knows what I’m going through. I smile, laugh and act very normal to every single person who knows me. But, at the very moment, my heart and soul feel tormented and no way to run. I feel dead. I just don’t know how to explain my pain here. He still swears he loves me and only me and can’t live without me. That all the other women are only to fulfil his lust and can’t match me. Why the person I love and trust the most in this world is doing this without mercy to me?
Fast forward, we got jobs in the same city and I tested him once using my mum’s number and he entertained “the girl” without knowing it’s me and went to the extent of meeting her at the agreed place. He got busted and again the drama of crying, begging and asking for my forgiveness happened. And I again stupidly believed him, all because I still love him so very much.
Moving on, we got married and had problem in conceiving baby. It took us 4 years to conceive and docs said it was his problem. I was happily married despite the occasional regrets of why he cheated on me and the occasional cries in the shower thinking about the past despite in has been 10 years since it happened. I do at times reminds him the pain he had caused me and he will confidently brushed it off saying it was before we were married and he is a loyal husband now. That he has never ever even think of cheating on me since we were married. He always asks me if I have any regret in marrying him and I always will answer him I am happy with him, coz that’s what I felt. I was happily married to my first love and glad I gave him a second chance. That was what things were until the day I discovered the truth, about a year ago.
It was the day we returned from a week long family vacation, my husband, the 7 months pregnant me and our 1 year old son. He went for a company lunch party that day and later at night I accidently discover from his WhatsApp messages the conversations he had with few women. It was all sexual and asking for a quick meet up for sex that day, and he did that while he was at the lunch party. I still can feel the chill I had that moment while reading the messages. I refused to believe it. The next day, I used a new number and contacted him as a random slut. Instant replies and non-stop sexual conversation. Few days of chatting and arranged to check in to hourly hotel for mutual sex. There I was with a 7 months pregnant belly walking towards him and caught him red handed waiting for the “slut”. I cried, screamed, begged, throw tantrum, hit myself in front of him. Wish to die but I was carrying my baby in me. She saved me that day. He confronted to me he had only slept with a GRO once since we were married. The rest were just online sex chatting, video calls and few casual meet ups that didn’t end with sex. It has been happening all the while, before and after we were married.
I came from a very conservative family and society. I personally believe divorce will ruin a child’s life. And I will never ever want to be the cause for that to happen to my two innocent babies. He saw how tortured I was and begged me by holding my feet not to leave him and not to take the babies away from him. He confronted two of our guy friends and they were utterly shocked and advised him to change. He swears on my unborn child that he will never ever do it again and to give him 1 final chance. He told me to leave him if he ever does it again. With only focusing on my baby son and my unborn daughter, I sucked it up, all my pain and misery and stayed on.
Went to my parents place for confinement. Was reminding him all the time on the promises he made to me. Was away for 2 months at my parents place. He would visit us every weekend. Came home after confinement and in just 10 days discovered more dirty secrets. I discovered deleted chat history with an Indonesian maid. The conversation is about asking her to have sex with him AGAIN. It was so disgusting to read what he wrote to her. Confronted him with the proofs in my hand. Managed to make him tell me everything he had done. He finally admitted of cheating me all the while and even NOW.
I was shaking and shivering as he told me all this. He was with me in the labour room two months back and witnessed the pain I went through delivering our daughter. I had bad stiches and was in terrible pain, both physically and mentally. Was telling him everyday how painful it is. And now to realise he knew and saw what I’m going through and yet choose to hunt for women and managed to have sex with 2 women for few times while I was going through hell. All this happened only 2 months after all the promises and begging. I can’t describe my pain.
He told me he has been going to prostitutes and massage parlours that offers sex services, before and after marriage. Told me he would have slept with more than 25 prostitutes excluding the massage parlours. He had been using MSN Massager all this while for sex chats and video calls and switched to Wechat 3 years back. Since using Wechat, he managed to meet women from all walk of life and ethnicity for sex. It includes dates which didn’t end up with sex and first meeting set in hotel rooms for sex. He admitted of having sex with single mother aged 23, few Indonesian and Philippines maids, a married woman who is 5 years older than him. This is mutual sex and he doesn’t need to pay them. He only spends on the hourly hotel rooms. I even called some of them using the number I retrieved from his phone and true enough it all happened. The worst is, he had sex with some of them without condom and ejaculated in them!
All this happened during office hours as I will be stuck in my office and his job nature allows him to go wherever he likes. He drives me to my workplace and picks me after office. Never ever spend the night or weekends out without me. Which wife will ever suspect a husband who goes to work at 8am and back home at 6pm and never goes out at night without me?
This confrontation happened 8 months back, in July 2015. I was numb, beyond feelings I can describe. Wanted so so badly to die. But I’m still fully breastfeeding my daughter. I need to be alive for my babies. I need to give them the perfect family to grow up in, like the perfect happy family I grew up in. My husband seems sad for few weeks, promised me all kind of things, told me he needs help, that he is addicted and can’t control himself despite knowing the consequences. He went to SLAA meeting only once and said it didn’t suit him and feels counselling is not helpful too. As months went by, he seems to be happy with life.
I on the other hand, nothing changed in me for nearly a year now. I still cry every single day when I’m alone. I feel like physically hurting myself when I’m alone. I’m very very broken inside. Finally, my love for him is not as it used to be before. Everyday I wish all this is just a bad dream. The picture of him being intimate with all this women plays in my mind non-stop. Yet, no one knows what I’m going through. I smile, laugh and act very normal to every single person who knows me. But, at the very moment, my heart and soul feel tormented and no way to run. I feel dead. I just don’t know how to explain my pain here. He still swears he loves me and only me and can’t live without me. That all the other women are only to fulfil his lust and can’t match me. Why the person I love and trust the most in this world is doing this without mercy to me?
