Baby closer to grandma / caretaker?

[Skiasia]

I am quite upset that my bb is closer and looking for her grandma ( mil) whenever she is at home.
we do not stay together with my mil.Everyday after work, we will ferry our bb home.
She will not look for her grandma if there is no sight of her.
But when my mil come back home together with us,my bb will wants her to carry and always look for her.
She will cried if I carry her.
Usually after the last feed at 8pm,my bb will wants me to carry and coax her.
But when there is sight of my mil,my bb wil turn to her.
I am feeling upset over this.
Any one has the same feel? or is this normal?

 

[erinewong]

Hi,
Ya.. Same feeling upset that my boy closer with my parent in law when he was 1yrs till 3yrs time. But dun worries is normal My son quite closer with us now. JiaYou!!!

 

[hugomum]

At least closer to MIL is better than my kids closer to my helper, but now my son turning 6 this year is closer to us, i know the feeling and this is normal.

 

[Skiasia]

thanks mummies for the comments.
I have the thought to resign from my job and look after my bb full time initial
But after reading your comments and some advices from my friends,i think I am thinking too much.
end of the day,i think and hope our kid will still come back to us.

 

[erinewong]

dun worries, surely kids always closer with parent.

 

[pantieileen]

dun worries, surely kids always closer with parent.

Not true. I have very candid memories of myself looking for my grandma on my 1st day of primary school but all i saw was my mother standing outside the classroom window. Same like Marc Jacobs, my parents leave me in the care of my grandma until i was 6yo in the day and pick me up at night. Then starting primary 1, we have a helper who took care of me until i was in secondary school. I still do not feel close to my parents. Maybe it's just me.

 

[lilmissbummer]

same.. my 4months old bb stays home with my mil and maid in the day.. at night after her last feed ard 9-ish, she will be cranky and only my maid can soothe her to sleep.. boohoo..

 

[aromatispa]

Dun b sad as i also experienced it as my MIL stays with us and take care of my boy. I am working full time, hence time spending with him is not as much compare to my MIL and he always wanted her to carrry him. I was extremely jealous back then and did alot of silly things to gain back attention of my boy. Now he is 3 yrs old and since he went to playgroup and as he grow older, he gets more attached to me. So if i am around, he will choose me over my MIL which my effort is "paid off".
Just spend more time with him when you get back from work, bring him for a walk if you can. Read story books and sing songs to him before bed time in your bed room and put him to bed.
When i am back from work, i will take over the duty to look after him, feed, bathe & play with him.
In time to come, he will get closer to you and he knows you are the MOTHER, just bear with it for the moment.
Take care and will see the result!

 

[Skiasia]

ya...have to spend more time with her after work though I am already very tired.
working mother is not easy.

 

[shoppixe]

I was taken care by my grandma also as my mum was a working mum. After time, both myself and my brother got closer to my mum after we were grown up. Thats when we learn to appreciate her sacrifices. It takes time. Now the baby just identifies people based on who provides for their needs. Its very normal for baby to have preference, my baby would prefer my maid to my husband too. The sacrifices a mum makes is for life and your children will learn to see it. =)

 

[FFT]

actually i was taken care of by my granny since young. Like all ur cases, my parents are working and they fetch me home every evening. For some unusual reasons, i was quite close to my granny and will usually look for her when i have problems even in my late teens. My parents have cared for me when i was younger but u know, those few hours in the night is nothing compared to the number of hours i have spent in the day time with my granny. she is the one who fetch me home from school and take care of all my well being since then.

I have the same worries as u all when my mil wants to take care of my child. But then, no choice. There must be some give and take. The only comfort to myself will be that i'll rather my child stick close to my mil than the maid.