Hi, im a young mummy and need advice. Im currently staying with my in-laws. My husband is the only child in the family. We couldn't get a flat as we are still 20 (this yr then turning 21) and we do not have enough funds too. My mother-in-law will say things very nasty, when she's in a bad mood, she will urge us to move out etc. I really do want to move out but my husband don't want. He said he wants to cut down on cost. But he never feels how its like to be staying in their house. I don't understand but I'm very stressed staying at there. My mil say that I'm very lazy etc but i dont see why as im a full time looking after my son, she also said she won't want to look after my son too. My husband working but after work he will play computer/handphone games but will sometimes help out too. (mil also nvr say him) I just want to move out because i hope my husband can learn to be independent too and not being dependent on his parents
Advice on mil
- Thread starter jasminkoh
- Start date
millbear
Member
*hugs* i understand how u r feeling as i had been struggling staying with my pils for about 5 years.. your husband need to de-stress from work by playing pc/hp games sometimes, and will feel financial burden if move out to somewhere else (if u not working that moment).. have u ever talked to him before if he is comfortable with the idea of moving in with ur parents for time being?
bebenewborn
Member
Both of you have to work hard and make plans, must be "same heart, same goal". Get grant from HDB to apply for the flat while working hard and save as much as possible. I know is not easy and if really no capital, just live simple at the beginning and slowly build up the house gradually.
It is really not easy to stay with PIL, no matter how good there are forever endless disputes somehow.
It is really not easy to stay with PIL, no matter how good there are forever endless disputes somehow.
He doesn't want. I just feel he dont want to leave his comfort zone
We cant get cos hdb say we must be over 21 and hub also say no money but i told him money wise we can settle cos also not now pay and plus deduct from cpf etc.
Hi, whats the job scope?
tuete_cottage
Member
As both of you are young, are you able to shoulder all the housework and taking care of your son on your own if you move out? Since your hubby are working, the household chores will fall on you if you move out.
tuete_cottage
Member
He doesn't want as right now he can save more by staying with parents and his parents can help with household chores. If you move out, he will need to support his parents and pay his own electricity bills etc for your home on top of mortgage loan and living expenses. This could be taxing if his salary is not high.
Else you move back with your parents during the wkdays and come back on wkends or wkday nights so you can have family time together
Else you move back with your parents during the wkdays and come back on wkends or wkday nights so you can have family time together
betc
Active Member
I agree with tuete_cottage. Getting a house on yr own is not as easy as u think. There r alot of expenses incurred. Yr husband is the only person working. He have to work 3x harder than what he's doing now. Start saving heaps now before u think abt moving out on yr own or move back to yr parents house(if yr parents and hb ok with it). Do yr math first. Find out what type of house u wanna get n the price u have to pay monthly. Is it going to be more than the monthly CPF contribution? U have start small for a start. Don't forget u have a child. The expenses will only increase and not decrease. Every single counts.
Just try to ignore. Being the only son I think sometimes it's ineviatable to end up staying with pil. I'll tell my hubby the mean things my mil say and tell him the only reason I put up is for our marriage. have u tried telling your husband that mil wants you to move out? Sometimes I think pil just says things without really meaning it. When their children ask them then they will say no lah, nvm.
Hi Jasmine
Stay positive. MIL problem occurs in almost every household.
What you should do is to find ways to be friend with her and support her. Try to build the good rapport with her too.
Most importantly, do not get your hubby involve as he is already very tired after work and frankly he can't help you much as he is her son.
Strongly, I feel that we woman should be financially strong to support ourselves.
I am currently into online ecommerce business where I can work from home and also get some extra income.
If you are interested to build wealth passively, you may send me an email @ [email protected].
Look forward to receive your email.
Stay positive. MIL problem occurs in almost every household.
What you should do is to find ways to be friend with her and support her. Try to build the good rapport with her too.
Most importantly, do not get your hubby involve as he is already very tired after work and frankly he can't help you much as he is her son.
Strongly, I feel that we woman should be financially strong to support ourselves.
I am currently into online ecommerce business where I can work from home and also get some extra income.
If you are interested to build wealth passively, you may send me an email @ [email protected].
Look forward to receive your email.
Hi Jasmine,
Read your story and sorry to hear about your plight. If you would like to really move out, you need to work out the total income and expenses you and hubby incur on an average month. I think if need be, you may need to go out and work and leave the son to be taken care by ya MIL (regardless of whether she wants or not, play your HB against MIL cuz he is the softspot to her). Reason is because with additional bacon at home, you and hubby can do more and be less under your MIL's scrutiny. One more thing is, by working outside, you duned to see MIL for 8hours plus a day. One stone kill two birds. But those are just my tots.
Good luck!
Read your story and sorry to hear about your plight. If you would like to really move out, you need to work out the total income and expenses you and hubby incur on an average month. I think if need be, you may need to go out and work and leave the son to be taken care by ya MIL (regardless of whether she wants or not, play your HB against MIL cuz he is the softspot to her). Reason is because with additional bacon at home, you and hubby can do more and be less under your MIL's scrutiny. One more thing is, by working outside, you duned to see MIL for 8hours plus a day. One stone kill two birds. But those are just my tots.
Good luck!
