sad_and_heartbroken
New Member
Hi need some advice on divorce. Appreciate your help.
I am working and earning more than my husband. He is self-employed and don't declare much for his salary, but not too sure how much he makes as owner of his business. My job needs me travelling almost every mth.
I have a 9 year old daughter and she is closer to me. I take care of her needs, spend time with her and coach her in her school work. My husband only looks after (not even "taking care") of her when I am overseas. When he looks after of her, he mostly leaves her to watch TV only while he does his work or other things. He can't coach her in her study and a lot of time they will end up quarrelling and my daughter crying non-stop. Due to so much commitment (work with travelling, housework, need to spend time with daughter playing and coaching study), I am v v stressed out. In her younger days, due to stress and her refusal to study, I did scold and beat her. But now I told her she is big enough so I don't want to keep scolding & beating her. She is quite obedient and understanding, and scolding/grumbling of course still continues but no more beating. However I think my husband may use the excuse that I have to travel frequently, I have bad temper and will beat my daughter as excuses to take custody of my daughter. But no matter what, my daughter loves me more and is closer to me emotionally. I have bad temper only when my daughter refuses to study, other than this, she is mostly obedient and we are v happy and sweet together, even without her father. At bedtime, she will ask her father to go away so as to play with me before sleeping.
Need advice :
1. What is the chance of custody of my daughter if he contests based on the above? What if I try to change job to one that don't need travelling but I don't know whether I will get a job soon enough before the divorce proceeding. Can court listen to my daughter's decision to follow me instead of my husband?
2. He cheated on reason that I neglected him because I pay more attention to my daughter. I am devastated that I take good care of daughter and yet get such treatment from him. So even though I earn more than him, I want him to pay high maintenance as my daughter has a no. of enrichment classes to attend and for the foreseeable pay cut I may get if I get a job without having to travel (meaning lower position job). Since I earn more, will I still be able to get maintenance? Can I argue my future job may have lower pay?
3. How will the family assets be splitted? Since I earn more, naturally most of the assets are from me and I am the one who painstakingly save and manage the money. How to ensure I get to keep most of them? I need the money to sustain living in case I need to resign without a job since there is no one to take care of daughter if I continue working and travelling. Our assets can sustain our lives for a few years without me working. Like that, what's the chance of I win the custody even if without a job?
4. He admitted adultery but so far I have no photos of their adultery. Can I still divorce if he is willing to admit adultery? Or must I produce photos?
5. Any good PI and divorce lawyer to recommend? Also any lawyer to recommend for writing will? I don't want my assets to go to my husband if I die before the divorce.
I am working and earning more than my husband. He is self-employed and don't declare much for his salary, but not too sure how much he makes as owner of his business. My job needs me travelling almost every mth.
I have a 9 year old daughter and she is closer to me. I take care of her needs, spend time with her and coach her in her school work. My husband only looks after (not even "taking care") of her when I am overseas. When he looks after of her, he mostly leaves her to watch TV only while he does his work or other things. He can't coach her in her study and a lot of time they will end up quarrelling and my daughter crying non-stop. Due to so much commitment (work with travelling, housework, need to spend time with daughter playing and coaching study), I am v v stressed out. In her younger days, due to stress and her refusal to study, I did scold and beat her. But now I told her she is big enough so I don't want to keep scolding & beating her. She is quite obedient and understanding, and scolding/grumbling of course still continues but no more beating. However I think my husband may use the excuse that I have to travel frequently, I have bad temper and will beat my daughter as excuses to take custody of my daughter. But no matter what, my daughter loves me more and is closer to me emotionally. I have bad temper only when my daughter refuses to study, other than this, she is mostly obedient and we are v happy and sweet together, even without her father. At bedtime, she will ask her father to go away so as to play with me before sleeping.
Need advice :
1. What is the chance of custody of my daughter if he contests based on the above? What if I try to change job to one that don't need travelling but I don't know whether I will get a job soon enough before the divorce proceeding. Can court listen to my daughter's decision to follow me instead of my husband?
2. He cheated on reason that I neglected him because I pay more attention to my daughter. I am devastated that I take good care of daughter and yet get such treatment from him. So even though I earn more than him, I want him to pay high maintenance as my daughter has a no. of enrichment classes to attend and for the foreseeable pay cut I may get if I get a job without having to travel (meaning lower position job). Since I earn more, will I still be able to get maintenance? Can I argue my future job may have lower pay?
3. How will the family assets be splitted? Since I earn more, naturally most of the assets are from me and I am the one who painstakingly save and manage the money. How to ensure I get to keep most of them? I need the money to sustain living in case I need to resign without a job since there is no one to take care of daughter if I continue working and travelling. Our assets can sustain our lives for a few years without me working. Like that, what's the chance of I win the custody even if without a job?
4. He admitted adultery but so far I have no photos of their adultery. Can I still divorce if he is willing to admit adultery? Or must I produce photos?
5. Any good PI and divorce lawyer to recommend? Also any lawyer to recommend for writing will? I don't want my assets to go to my husband if I die before the divorce.