My heart goes out to all the hurt women here.. I've endured a painful past as well (not on marriage, but with men)..
Marriage or not, any good relationship will need commitment to everything.. If u feel that your partner is not willing to commit 100% to the marriage, it's better to give up la.. No point using 1 hand to try to clap.. Commit means making the effort to improve, be it on communication, finance, sex, kids, violence, gambling etc.. IF your hubby doesn't want to, don't keep wishing for it.. It will not happen.. Decide if u want to remain like this for the rest of your life.. I've had my fair share of rotten men to know..
I married my hubby cos he was just an average nice guy I met during my lowest point in life but after going through that and many more tough experiences, I realized he's a great guy in spite of our very different "everything" (character - I'm the dominating one.. finance - his family is poor while mine is quite well to do.. upbringing - his is traditional, mine is not.. freedom - he's the private one who likes his "space" while I'm the clingy one.. etc) Basically, we are extreme opposites.. Everyone who knew us expected us not to last..
Naturally there were many areas to compromise on and we had our woes as well.. It really took a lot of effort, heartaches (sometimes we use hurtful words when we get emo), coldwars, threats, yelling, going crazy & even a slap for me (it was a wake-up slap for me cos I was getting over emotional at that point of time)..
After 6yrs, we're STILL compromising.. haha.. It's not easy but I'm glad my marriage is going strong atm.. And no, we're definitely not those mushy kind of couples.. I guess we're more like best friends, gossiping couples.. Trusting and loving..
I told him "Relationship is like an empty box.. When u put in, I will put in.. When u take out, I will withdraw also.. Be careful of what u put in or take out.. The more good stuff u input, the richer our lives will be, then it'll be easier living together.." haha..
Just my 2cents worth.. Sorry if I offended anyone here.. Anyway, I salute the women here who can endure for so long! I'm not a very patient person so I wouldn't have endured these nonsense as long as any of u.. I would have kicked the man out already!