Can I ask everyone here, why do you want to marry your the other half? I married to my husband at the time when everything in my life looked good to any girls. I was young & beautiful, with plenty of eligible men asking me to marry them or give them a chance to be my guardian angel if I choose not to marry them. Everyone was surprised I chose my husband as my lifetime partner. I told them all I ask for is a simple life, therefore a simple man like him is the best partner. Less than a month before our ROM, he accidentally revealed to me that he had just turned bankrupt (caused by his family, shall not go into further here). I didn't think of to cancel or postpone our wedding, since we still have some money with us for our wedding, and as someone he loved most, I shouldn't be so realistic to hurt him at this time. His family has so many relatives to invite to our wedding that I changed my guest list and had only invited one friend to attend my wedding. A week before our wedding, I caught his female colleague (there were rumors that she liked my husband) holding his hands, and he gave a soft toy to her which his client wanted to give me. He insisted he was guilt free. As he was left with zero savings, I didn't mind staying with his family from hell. All I can say is that my life after married is a nightmare to any women, everyday in my life is like watching a tv drama. Also, we hardly have any intimacy since the day we married, maximum about 2 times a year in the beginning. It hurts me deeply whenever he pushed me away if I tried taking the initiative. I told him it hurts me, he replied "so you married because of sex!"...... Thereafter, he would ask for it whenever he knows I was very ill or tired after work. If I turned him down, he would go "it's you who don't want it, stop saying it's me rejecting you". 2 years after we married, I told him we should start planning for a baby, he told me after he's discharged from bankruptcy. Although he agreed but how to when he still refused to have intimacy with me? On the 4th year, he had yet to discharge but he told me to wait till we buy our own house. I worked very hard to buy a house, while he remains at his comfort zone. We moved to our own house in the 5th year, but sex life is worse. It's normal if we have no sex in the whole year, same hurting words from him if he knows I'm upset over his rejection, he makes me sound like a slut who only has "sex" in mind. One day, I asked him to tell me frankly if he doesn't want a child, as I don't want to force him. He told me it was just that he doesn't want our child to be affected by me because I'll drop tears whenever we quarrel and gave a new excuses each time after I changed myself for him. One day he said the similar hurtful sentence again, "so, you married because you want to have a child!" The same topics went on for many years until this year he came out with a new excuse. He didn't want me to give birth anymore, because his acquaintance died in labour when she gave birth at 30 something, doctor said it's a dangerous age for women to give birth and he doesn't want to lose me because of this. I don't understand! It's not that we just got married at the age of 30+, why gave so many other excuses last time when we were young, now when I'm at this age then he told me not to because I'm too old and too risky to have one? It isn't easy for me. His family has been telling people that I'm very selfish because I don't want to give birth or they suspect I can't at all, despite that I've told them many times it's my husband who doesn't want to have a child, there's nothing I can do without his cooperation. I would like to adopt a child, as I know I can give her the same amount of love I'll give to my own child, but to his parents, an adopted grandchild can never be the same as our own. I really don't know why am I still in this marriage? For everyday, he'll spend all his time watching tv or on the phone then to bed, I'm always the one trying to start a chat with him. He didn't even ask where I'm leaving to when there was one late night I left the house with a luggage. We're basically room mates and nothing more.