(2008/01) Jan 2008 MTBs

pixie,
That's great!! Hope there is no more crying!


krystle,
I need to fix my hair badly also. But maybe end of this month. Bring my gal for jab, then send her to her nanny, make use of the remaining day (childcare sick leave) to go to salon :)

Can I ask, is it possible to do rebonding and colouring at the same time? I have so much white hair that makes me thinking of colouring it. My hair still virgin black leh, never coloured it before.
 


Kitsune,
Today is not my birthday. :p Just want to rebond in advance so that it will look nice nice on my birthday. This sun then my birthday.

Pixie,
Yes, I rebond once every year. My hair is thick, black, and frizzy type... so after almost 1 year, my hair is freaking bad condition. Very sian one...

Yes, hope to catch you there. Not sure if I will be having lunch there though coz the restaurants there not attract me...

Kam,
Better not to rebond and colour at the same time. Too much chemical and it will badly damage your hair and cause hair loss. So you just rebond first. As for colouring, you can DIY by buying those off shelf colouring lotion from Watsons. Cheap and quite easy to do. But do it at least 1 month after your rebonding.

I also got lots of white hair, inherit from my dad. Sianz... But in general, my hair is still quite black.
 
Krystle, oic. I haven't rebonded my hair for long time. Was on my way for my hair appt in orchard when the accident happened. I got a patch of white hair near the middle of my fringe, very obvious so I get my hubby to help me dye that part only every 1-2 months.
sad.gif
 
Kam
I always colour n rebond, ok. Can follow w treatment. But recently I did n my hair much drier!!! Maybe hormonal change. I sat there 7 hrs Liao so din wan to do treatment.

Krystle
My hair oso thick black n frizzy!!! If long hair I rebond every 9 mths, short 6 mths already pong pong.
 
Pixie, I feel happy as I read ur msg about x!
happy.gif
when the children are happy, we r happy too!

Yah I contacted ur sis already. Collecting tmrw at semb. Tks for ur help!
 
mom2nat,
7 hours!!! Meaning they have to do rebonding first then followed by colouring? Not doing both at the same time ah? Aiyoh, don't want to sit there for so long leh.
 
nowadays they dun call rebonding liao leh. They call it as straight perm or soft rebonding. It's not so straight and flat compared to reboding wor. NO need 7hrs la. very kua zhang le. Nowadays rebonding takes abt 4-5hrs gao dim.
 
kam
oh ya u need another 1hr or so for color. I permed + color my hair last year. It took me 4hrs ! I felt buttock so painful after that.
 
Pixie: oops! e gathering is over.. (Icy told mi abt it) so buzi cos cny and my inlaws make mi mad.
wen is e next gathering?
happy.gif
 
lynn
no prob!!

i think next gathering oso dunno when. this time round, i think mummies here quite ONZ, else all cannot make it for a specific timing one de. we all cannot find the perfect timetable to suit everyone hor

ur inlaw why so upset with them?
 
Kam/ chaye
Yes, rebond then colour. I dun do soft rebond cos my hair stubborn. My hair is short but v thick. Normal pple set the cream in 30 min, mine 1 hr!!! Usually pple 4-5 hrs, but mine always like tat. I have been straightening my hair since uni days, last time relaxer, now rebond. But once the roots grow out.... V ugly again!! Sigh
 
My hair is done! Yes, they called it soft rebonding and looks more natural. I got mine done in 4 hrs.
happy.gif
. Last time it will even take 6 hrs!!! Think technology improves bah...
I never did colouring + rebonding at one go. But I refer to do it separately since my hair quality is not that good in the first place.
 
I cannot sleep. I need to rant.

Tate came back from cc ard 5ish. Ard 6pm maid ask him to wash hands before dinner. So he took his stool on the tap and wash his hands but he just refuse to let her off the tap. He want to keep the tap running. Once maid off the tap he started to cry with jumping up and down stamping his feet kind. It was really uncontrollably loud which I think the whole block can hear him. He kept repeating 'I dun want I dun want'. My mum and maid tried to use other things to distract him but he kept crying loudly like a spoilt brat repeating I dun want. All these while I was looking at my CCTV. I told my mum to smack him ! My mum later did but he still wouldn't stop. Let him go back to the tap and he quiet down to wash his hands again. But once tap is off he scream again. Brot him to his room give pillow also no use. After 30 mins later, my maid promise him ice cream if he stop and so he did. Gave a bit ice cream and he asked for his dinner cos I think he realized he's hungry after crying a bucket !!!

I came home 7ish and he is at at usual happy self. I gave him a very stern warning not to play with water again. If not I'll scold and beat him. I even demonstrated by beating his thigh hard to let him know pain and this is beating. I punished him by asking him to sit quietly at the sofa without coming down for 15mins.

I duno if he understand wat I've said but I really hope he does and dun throw such horrible tantrums again. Do your child throw such unreasonable tantrums and jump up and down crying loudly har ? I'm really shock to see him behalf this way when I'm not at home
sad.gif
. Sianz
 
Chaye
Wat u mentioned is v common. Pressing lift buttons, opening door, taking things... Small thing can create big tantrums. For #1, I used to get so upset when she Wants her way by screaming n crying. For #2, I have more patience, laugh abt it n wait for him to finish his meltdowns.

Sometimes the child is being demanding, or sometimes is just tired or attn seeking. Actually at 3, they are still v young, hardly much ways to show their unhappiness. So dun b too upset abt it. This am elliot woke up at 5.35am. Woke the family up cos he got upset my mom took the towel for him, he wanted to do it himself.

If u think this is bad, see my 6 yr old. I m fighting wars at home daily!! U can give Tate a warning/ lecture or spanking... Hee... But dun worry abt it, it is a phase. Not all kids behave like angels.
 
Chaye,
Hugz! Hope you caught some sleep after ranting :)

Like mom2nat said, this is normal. It's normal for 3yo to throw tantrum with the slightest trigger (which seems to be unreasonable to adults). HR rarely throws tantrum, cos he can communicate very well, he tells us that he is not happy or angry with us and shows us black face when he is not happy. Also because we prevent him from going into a tantrum throwing. When we sense that is coming, we use other methods to distract him away. For example, if he wants to play with water and refuse to turn off the tap (oh yes, it happens very often), I would negotiate with him that he can only turn the tap to the slowest flow and that he can only use it for the next 1 minute or when I say stop, it works for him, and he would happily continue on other things. If he still throws a tantrum, I would leave him be, walk away from him, leave him alone and don't talk to him, he is very scare of me not talking to him, so he would almost immediately quiet down once I walked away from him, and then he would come to me and said sorry. I would then have a good talk with him explaining why why why. For you, it's a bit difficult, cos your helper is the main carer before you arrive home, so it's hard for your helper to set rules with him. You gonna think of a way that would work for you.
 
Chaye,
Hugs Hugs. You are not alone! It's just the Terrible Horrible 3s I guess. Even my hubby who has a hugeeee patience, said my daughter can be rather irritating these days. heh.

I guess the ice-cream did the trick in cooling him down. We (as in my hubby and mum) often have to bribe my gal with food that she likes too
sad.gif
but no choice. After the bribing, we then talk to her and hopefully, what we say goes into her head.

But for me, I usually don't give in to my daughter's tantrums. I usually do the hard way. Scolding or not talk to her. When she quieten down, then I go talk to her again. :p I am a BAD mother. :p
 
Hello,
just pop by every now and then to read post. Never reply much cos by then everything had been said and discuss. :D

Chaye,
It is all the same. from 2 yrs old of everything "No, No, No." to now it become 3 yrs old of " I want this, I want that and I must want it." Xavier does it every day, I must even show the cane when he needs to take shower. When he didnt get something he wants immediately, he will start chanting and nagging and then start to cry.. No patience to wait. I always try to explain but it always happens again and again. Now he fav thing to do is push people, I even get complains from his teacher.

Mon2nat
I feel like a mad woman a home too, holding the cane every now and then. Screaming on top of my voice.. saying "cannot, No, don't". It is all negative, I doesnt want that but Urghhhhh!!
 
morning mummies

thanks for all the advises and consolation. I will definitely be able to see this coming and prevented it if I am at home at that time. Usually he will not throw such huge tantrums when I am home. I will warn him first before it grow into big tantrums. But as you said with the helper there's only so much she can do or maybe she didnt even do anything until it ballooned into big trouble.

But Kam, HR is really a sensible boy for his age. He will be able to communicate so well to let you know he's angry/happy. Tate only know how to cry when he's not given what he demanded ! hmph !

It's horrible threes now !
 
chaye
remember that x was like this....errr couple of weeks ago? i could have 2 of such incidents in 5 minutes...can pengsan one

nowadays x is over the phase but eg got 1 time, he insisted that we have to park our car in a specific spot. we oredi parked the car liao! in the end scream from carpark to lift to flat.
i let him stood at the door and told him firmly, once you are done crying, then come n look for mama...

so he was there sobbing (screamed finished liao) for the next 5mins. then when i changed, washed up etc, went to look for him, then try to ask him why must park there. dont understand their reasoning one lah

i nowadays sit out n wait for him to finish throwing his temper.
or else i spank hard. coz i spank hard, he stopped his nonsense immediately. i use either one based on situation
 
PIxie
Elliot cannot let me spank him hard. Scold him too stern he oso cry! Hahahah... Got one day he cried so badly over a toothpaste pressing issue. Scream and scream, hb had to take over, can't bathe him, just clean then hug him and sayang him, put him to bed. But weird, we dun have tat patience with #1. The nicer we are, the more and longer she cries.

Icy
I even use cane to threaten E when he doesnt' wan to nap. He will tell me "Dun fren you, next time when I grow up, I will buy a cane to beat you!" So much for fillial piety.

Chaye
E can comm well, but teacher say he long winded. The same thing he will go on and on "Dun fren you, I will tell my frens to throw you into the big pool and I wont bring you go gai gai"!!
 
mom2nat
omg, i cannot imagine the phrase comes out from a 3yo. your E is simply...advanced my boy not that fast in speech!!

nowadays we cannot soothe x liao. the more we soothe the more he cries. so usually either firm or after waiting too long of "firm" period, its spank...
i dont wish to beat my child but the last resort always works
after a while he forgets liao

yesterday he waited for me to be back home. kept asking for me n cry until vomit
i dunno how to cope if i need to tend after x2. i told hb he should look after x2 at night since x1 is so sticky
 
chaye,
Remember we adopt soft disciplining. No spanking and no caning at our household, yet. HR is relatively an easy kid to deal with. I think our approach to XY may have to be different. You know from young till now, HR has never thrown himself onto the floor and scream/cry/whine. But hor, my gal only 17 months, already doing that! Whenever she is not happy or we don't give her what she wants, she would throw herself onto the floor and scream! And she beats us too (maybe because I beat her using my hands when she doens't want to sleep or doesn't sleep well)! Every child is really different although they came from the same factory.


mom2nat,
Haha, that's funny! Is E repeating what you or your hub or your #1 said to him?
 
wah i really very very tired...
usually sleep at 12 or 12-ish...nowadays i wake up as early as 4am...
meaning i get 4hours of sleep. super shag.
this morning wakie at 4, eyes big big until alarm clock ring
 
mom2nat
Elliot really very advance, perhaps learn from your #1. :p

Xavier not that advance in speech and he get frustrated easily. Mil will tell Xavier that is he naughty, she will "pa ka cen" (butt) then Xavier will keep repeating "Dont want "pa ka cen" " when he see the cane.



anyway I am very frustrated now becos every morning. I have to try to keep X quiet after school because of my sil. It is already almost 11am, and she is still sleeping.. come out and ask me to keep X quiet down.. How to????? It is not as if she sleep late due to something impt, she is waiting to go poly and now idling at home. She slept late last night due to playing computer games..


pixie,
X can feel #2 is coming. I remember my boy was like that when I am about to due. even wants me to carry him and only wants me and dont even want daddy. Your hubby have to help with 1 of them, perhaps the elder one easier for him.
 
icy
im thinking #2 easier for hb to take care. x1 refuse hb totally now liao so hb no choice but to take over x2....somemore x2 is sleep, drink, and change. not big chores bah

your sil issue, sianz hor. i remember you said, you still have to be responsible for her....i will be frustrated too
 
kam
latching i will do lor, but apart from latching, the rest throw to hb.
else, i let hb bottle feed ebm for evening feeds; then latch in the day + graveyard shifts
x will stick to me from 5-9 so its not a long period. i need hb to take care of x2 from 7-9 only daily.
not alot of expectations bah?
 
<font color="0000ff">Chaye,</font>

Just read this from the Zero to three website (http://main.zerotothree.org/site/PageServer?pagename=FromBabyToBigKid_Month36):

The average preschooler (aged 3 to 6) has one tantrum per day, and the tantrum lasts about 3 minutes?

What the Research Means for You
You’re not alone. All children “lose it” occasionally. But as children grow, parents sometimes question whether it’s normal for their preschooler to still have tantrums and wonder if they should seek help.

This research identified five key “worry” factors that may indicate a need to seek support and assistance from your child’s health care provider or a child development specialist. These professionals work with families to understand more about what triggers a child’s tantrums and how to help the child cope more effectively with his feelings. The five “worry” factors included:

1. Aggression with violent, destructive behavior (frequent kicking, hitting, throwing, and breaking objects)

2. Self-injurious behavior—when children purposefully hurt themselves during a tantrum

3. Excessive frequency—tantrums on 10-20 days per month or more than five times per day

4. Extended length—tantrums lasting more than 25 minutes

5. Limited self-soothing skills—when children are unable to calm themselves without a lot of assistance

If you are seeing one or more of these symptoms in your preschooler, talk with your pediatrician, a child development specialist, or a mental health counselor who has experience with young children to see if there may be additional ways you can support your child.
 
Mom2nat
E will say such thing ? hhaha

icy
your sil only poly student ? still so young ?

Last nite I read the monthly report on Tate for January. Generally teacher says he has settled fairly well into cc and he has learnt to be independent in some self-help tasks. But he needs some encouragement and reminders to share his toys and play cooperatively with his peers. :p

I duno why he doesnt mixed around with his peers. Teacher ever told me when during play time, he will play on his own if not he will walk around and like a supervisor ask them to keep their toys. He doesnt mix with his peers. I have to remind him every now and then to share and play with his friends in sch. Now when I ask him who are his friends. He only name me Kelly and Sophie and they are girls leh ! And his class has majority of boys. Perhaps these are the only 2 gals in class :p Aiyo.. why he prefer to mix with gals than boys har ??
 
pixie,
It should work. Maybe your hb should start taking care of X2 from start. I might made too much contact with #2, latching every 1-1.5hrly, My #2 start recognizing me by 2-3th week and end up I am stuck with her like super glue.

#2 is still latching and refusing bottle and I am running dry.
 
Pixie
You got maid right? With a maid, wont be so soing with 2 kids. Gotta teach her to handle #1, play with her. Oso get your hb to play more with #1, cos how you get a child to wan you, is you gotta play more with them.

I oso sleep v little, by 8am, I zombie ard liao.

Icy
Dunno how you tahan staying with such a slack sil and oso mil. Must ren.
Can talk got different set of prob, cos he expects you to listen to him! They go to sch will speak more. Now X happy in sch? I think 2 weeks ago, Elliot came home told me Mrs Ng was sick, so Mrs Sim took over. I like Mrs sim.

Kam
E imitates #1 and us. Cos we dun baby talk him, so he just learns from our conversations. He uses words like "since, even though, because..."
But he can't speak mandarin like HR!! And I am too lazy to teach. Told hb #3 I will speak to him in mandarin from the start... he dun believe me!
 
mom2nat
i still dun like the idea of my maid handling my kids. no matter how much i trust her
i paranoid lah. she come here, purely to wash, clean, cook.
 
pixie,
Should be okay, if your hub can reach home on time every day. He is going to change job right? Gonna give him some time settling down in his new job too. I would think it's better for your to spend more time with #1, at least for the first few weeks, till he trusts you that you still love him all the same after arrival of his new baby sister. #2 is very easy, just sleep and latch and sleep, pretty much for the first 1-2 months, except gonna wake up for night duty that is tough.


mom2nat,
Guess if you don't speak much to Elliot in Chinese, then he won't use that also.

Yesterday HR was not happy also after a short trip to NTUC. He kept chanting on our way back (5 min walk), 妈妈, 我生气你了, 你知道吗? 我不开心了, 你知道吗? 妈妈! 妈妈! I didn't want to talk to him. So he kept going..... 妈妈, 我生气你了, 你知道吗? 为什么我生气? Then I asked him why. He said 应该是 (he doesn't use 因为) 你不sayang我了, 你sayang妹妹, 你给妹妹vitagen, 你不给我vitagen (cos they were fighting for it), 我不喜欢你, 我生气你!
 
Chaye,
Yeap, sil is 17 yrs old younger than my hb. My mil m/c a few before having her at 42 yrs old. So she super princess. But now my #2 is super super princess, cos even my sil also "let her win" (ie #2 can be noisy and wake her up but #1 cannot)

Mom2nat
Xavier is happy in school but he cant tell me what he eat or does there. He only response "I dont know!" Mrs Sim is taking over Elliot class permanently?

Although my mil speak chinese and hokkien to Xavier but he is rejecting chinese. Maybe because I talk to him in English and Hubby didnt talk to him much in chinese even though that is what we agree initially. Now Xavier refuses to answer me and start singing song when I ask him in chinese.

I try to build up his interest by letting him learn San Zhi Jing. It does helps. :D


pixie,
I had the same mentality as you when I first hire a maid but end up when I am alone with 2 kids and 1 maid, I had to let her handle 1 of the kids. But i let go slowly..
 
Kam,
Envy, that HR can communicate his feelings to you. It is much easier to teach and discus issues with him these way..
 
Kam
Hahahah... HR oso chanter!! But in mandarin, so cute!!! And he can comprehand and speak well for his age! I shd have started E earlier lah. Now v hard to change over.

Pixie
If my maid can't handle kids and cook, I peng san. My previous maid can read 30-50 books to Elliot a day! But when she left, he only asked once where is she, he din miss her. Bcos I am at home, I am not so worried abt my kids being attached to the maid.
 
icy
wah such young sil hor. My niece &amp; nephew are even older than your sil !
and same here, T cannot tell me what he did in school. I have to prompt him by asking : did you sing ? did you learn ABC ? etc. But he can sometimes tell me what he eat in sch but duno true or not or just pluck out of his imaginery. lolz. Unlike HR and E both are so aware of what environment they are in and able to relate it out later. Bravo ! I'll be surprised if T come to tell me one day that he is not happy or very happy today ! I hope he is not like my #1, she is totally very 被动. Never tell me what she did or eat in school voluntarily. I always got to ask ask ask until I find myself very losoh. Maybe my parenting style is not correct. Sigh so much for parenting !

Ya ! I think I need to get some books on parenting so that my children can open their hearts to me. Any good recommendation ?
 
Chaye,
I also did the same as you. Then he repeat my question. Like did u learn ABC, he will answer "learn Abc". Either he is not aware or he doesnt remember. A friend told me that her girl is like that, so she had to specifically ask her to remember "eg what you eat in school today?" then once she come back from school, must ask her immediately. then her girl will answer.
 
Lexie talks like us too. when i was doing confinement, we would hv this typical conversation every morning.

Me: Lexie wake up, it's time to go to school.
Lexie: Who's bringing me to school today? Mummy or Daddy?
Me: Daddy will bring u to school.
Lexie: Daddy again?? But Daddy bring me to school so many times already.
(pause)
Next time Daddy go back to work, then mummy can bring me to school.
(big smile, and skips off to school happily)
btw, i never told her that when daddy goes back to work then i will bring her to school. she tot of that herself

icy,
if u're still latching how come u're drying up? tot as long as u keep latching can bf indefinitely? no?

pixie,
that's exactly what me and hb are doing now. we play musical chairs everyday. when i latch #2, he will sit and play with #1 or try to feed her a few spoonfuls of her lunch/dinner. when i'm done, i pass #2 to him to burp, put to sleep, then i go back to #1. He can do almost everything for #2 except feed.
 
My gal also like that, only parrot me if I ask her about school. But once in a while, she will start singing an unknown song or say something new, if we prompt her, she will tell us which teacher taught her.
happy.gif
 
So happy cos mil left yest. She"s here only 2 wks but cant stop telling mi dat Ray is naughty, no table manners etc..

Icy: my sil also super princess... althot she is 28 but she never work b4.

mom2nat: We only communicate english wif Ray but ever since he attend sch at 20mths he can speak quite well in mandarin.
happy.gif
one of his indian classmate too.. hehehee! how"s ur new maid?
 
grumpus,
there is a few times where she fall sick and her appetite was not tat good. So she drink lesser. I never pump and only go by latch. perhaps also stress and not enough sleep, I feel my milk going lesser and less for her.. Now that my mense just came, I feel my ss really not much anymore. I have to spoonfeed her with FM now. She is only 8.7kg now, her growth is too slow compared to her birth weight.


lyn,
Your SIL 28 and doesnt work b4????? Then what does she do??
 
if 28 still no work, i sure be very sad about my life. unless i am volunteering everyday or what. else how un-fulfilling life could be!

kam
wah HR really can speak well. if x is angry at me, he sulks and peeks at me from 1 corner of the eyes and keep saying "hurmphfff".......
 
Ops, my first job was when I was 29 :p Me good life hor, kekeke.


grumpus,
So your hub went back to work already?


Icy,
Your gal just turned 1 yo, right? 8.7kg is a bit light. Her PD said anything?


Pixie,
Yup, HR speaks very well. Though sometimes other people can't really get what he means, only I can understand him. Esp that he builds a sentence all mix around, as in not to proper sequence. He also asks me from time to time if I am happy, if I love him a lot :) My gal is going to speak even faster than him, she is so talkative!
 
mom2nat,
how do u manage without maid now? u getting new phil maid, hows the salary like?

28 n still dun need to work, duno lucky or wat? hehe ;p
 
Mom2nat: ur new helper send back?? Wat happen? So u hav selected another Indo or Phili? My current Indo helper so far so gd.. Some Communication prob. Really don't understand how she passed her test cos simple English like white, black color she also don't kw. I bought a dictionary for her and really helps a lot.

Icy and pixie: wen I get to kw my hb, his Sis was still young and studying.. Then all these yrs no work, she goes out wif frz to shop and eat. She set up her own online biz last yr. If she go out wif us, her 2 bros will pay for her which is my hb and his elder bro and she gets monthly allowance fr them too.
 


wah kam
why u started work so late at 29 ?? At 29 I've already been working for 9 yrs ! you hao ming ah.

I called the cc to inform the teachers tat T has developed an interest of playing with water at home. She told me tat he did tat in sch too. With another peers after washing hands he will press the tap and hold on to it and play with water. sigh... No wonder he is doing this at home too. I told the teacher to cooperate with me to stop this nonsense of his. But there's so many students I duno if she can monitor so closely or not
sad.gif


lynn
SHOCK. Wah still can get monthly allowance from bro har ? nowadays the kids so hao ming hor.
 
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