(2007/10) October 2007 MTB

ben_mum, I use the tissue method too, but for those dry peesai, abit difficult to grab out.
So far so good with the tweezer, coz its round edge. At first i was hesitant in using it too. After a few tries with it, realise its actually pretty useful and not that scary as I imagine it to be.
 


Hi All,

Since last Thursday i start goin back to work. So after work I will go to my in law place to see my baby. SInce thursday she will cry whenever i carry her or even pat her to slp.
In the end my in law carry her she is ok.
I don know y? but it make me so sad.

she is now 3mth plus.
Can anyone advice me wat wrong with her or me?
 
I did went back to work after my 12 weeks of maternity leave but during the 3 mths of maternity leave, I wasn't able to go back because no one helps me take care of baby during that period of time n that my baby went through the Hernias operation which left him quite cranky for at least 1-2 weeks.

My hubby isn't exactly being very supportive towards the new pregnancy. Although GP has said that I am pregnant, he wants me to check again with my gynae. I am just so afraid to know of his response after my checkup this afternoon. It just hurts me so much to think that I have to give up the baby. I really hope I can find a job soon n my baby will be spare from all the sufferings.
 
sabrina, dun be sad. do u look after her at night? or now totally by ur IL?
have patience. i am going back to work soon. i am sure all will work out. =D

junnie, can i ask if u have a fixed timing for bb to drink milk everyday? like wake up at 7am sure drink milk de? or does his timing change everyday de? my bb timing now machiam like change everyday now! i going crazy! yesterday, he drank at 11.15pm, 3.30am, 7.30am, 11.30am, 3,55pm, 7.45pm. cos he drank at 7.45pm and slept after that, he woke up at 1am this morning, 5.30am to drink! i going crazy le. is this normal?!!?!??!
 
Wen Wen,

don think so much.
Talk to ur hubby nicely as this is a life. I feel that is nt good to give up the baby.
check with ur gynae 1st if really pregnant u oso cant work @ the moment.
Have plently of rest
 
wenwen, how can ur boss expect u to go back during ur ML? then what is ML for? what is his reason for asking u to resign? if it is not logical, can ask mom for help i am sure.

tho i am very pro bb. but i can understand how tough life can be. it is ultimately ur decision whether to keep the bb or not cos u are the one living with the bb for the rest of ur life. but still, bb are a life given by god. precious to all. do consider carefully with ur hb. i think his support is most needed too.
 
Ben mum,

all the while my in law will look after her & she even stay there at night.
cos my elder ger get jealous when her sister come back hm.

so no choice after my confinment my baby with my in law place & i will go over to look after her till last wednesday.

so things change after wednesday night.
reali very sad, I wan to spend more time on her. taking care of her needs but she reject me.
sob sob...
I miss her so much.
 
His reason for terminating me is that since I can't work during maternity leave, he got a malaysian who draws a much lower salary than me to cover my duties permanently. Now all the positions are filled, so I got to be terminated. I have called MOM, but sadly, they don't protect women have already gave birth n said that if employer serves notice to the employee, there is nothing much they can do.

Initially I insisted wanting this baby, but when I think that there's a possibility that my hubby n I will quarrel over this issue over n over again, it's going to affect both my 3 mths old son n the unborn baby. I really want this baby badly.. I even think of shifting back to my parents' place to avoid seeing n knowing my hubby's response. I know if my family n in-laws were to know about the pregnancy, I am quite sure that they will be very supportive, but then again, my hb has high ego, so this is not the best option.

I didn't know I am that fertile, and that I am constantly breastfeeding my baby..
 
wenwen, i think that's very bad of your boss. wicked person. Dun he have a wife? Dun he have children? How can he do that to you. i am quite upset with your hubby response also. how can he not be supportive of this new pregnancy. who is the one who contribute to the new life?

you must rest well ok? dun think so much. if you need any help, just voice out, i believe mummies here will try to help wherever, whenever and whatever we can!
 
wenwen, i seriously think the reason he has given (about u not able to work during maternity) is rubbish! if u tell mom that, i think u may have a case. u are on maternity, how to work? does he know what is maternity leave or not? faint!

do have a good discussion with ur hb. still the best i think. at least let him think it over and he has to make the decision with u together. no good if 1 party make decision then come and regret later.
 
Hi wenwen, I believe your hb will not be so hardhearted. It's a life after all. If aborted, both of u will regret for life. I duno if you guys believe in karma or not.(if your religion is buddism) And how much two babies can 'spend'? 3k or 5k per month, not so much right? This is just a temporary situation. Once you found a job, everything will be back to normal. Sit down and discuss nicely, I'm sure both of you can work it out in a perfect way. Keep us updated. Good luck.
happy.gif


BTW, what is your jobscope? I can help you to ask around.
 
Wen wen,

better not to shift back to ur mum place if not will create more trouble & quarrel. see whether u can talk to ur parent in law & ask them to talk to ur hubby. see wat they can help.

Stay positive...
 
I called MOM twice, but the reply is always the same. They can't help me when my boss has served me notice. BTW, I'm a HR Executive.

Going for the checkup with gynae this afternoon. Shall speak to hubby when I got the confirmed results. Wish me luck!
 
Hi all.
I seems to be coming down with a cold. So sianz sia, bad time to fall sick. Went to see doc juz now n was given all the neccessary meds to take in case I really fall sick.
Tmr hub will be away for resevist for 5 days. I will be home alone with baby, the dog and 2 cats. No one will be helping at all. I really hope that I wun fall sick. Feels so crappy.
 
Wen-Wen, what a pickle you're in. If MOM doesn't want to help, maybe you can send a letter to the FORUM page in the papers. This will make all the powers that be sit up and take notice...at the end of the day, if the government wants singaporeans to have more babies, they should be prepared to support mothers more. I agree with the rest, the baby is a blessing...please don't abort it! I also considered aborting my baby when I discovered i was preggers coz my hubby and I weren't married and not even anywhere near engagement yet. we fought a great deal over whether to keep the baby and in the end he was persuaded to keep it. now in retrospect i'm so glad we had Matty coz he's such a joy. His dad can't imagine not having him around also. So perservere on ok? With your parents and in laws' support, i'm sure your hubby will come round to the idea. im sure you'll get a job soon.

gingerleaf do get more rest...can your mom come over and help you for a bit?

wow looking at all your babies drinking 150ml per feed, im envious. my baby sometimes doesn't even finish his 120ml, managing only 100. then he hollers for milk like 2 hrs later. haiiiiii...how to do the gina ford routine like that hahaha.
 
gingerleaf, maybe can think of putting ur pets in a pet hotel first? or ask a friend to help u look after them? think moving over to in-laws place or ur parents place for a short while will help? quite scary to think if u sick and alone with bb. feel very alone de...

good idea karrie....think it over again wenwen...keep us informed...=D we'll be behind u all the way!!!
 
gingerleaf, poor dear.. take gd care n drink lotsa water! e weather is getting too erratic liao..

wen-wen, totally agree with karrie! itz a great idea to highlight ur case in FORUM and force someone out there to do something.. perservere on ya?
 
Hi all, back from the checkup. It's confirmed that I am pregnant but it's still too early to be seen in the scan. Will be back 2 weeks later for another checkup.

Gynae is surprised that I am pregnant again within months of giving birth but assured me that this new pregnancy won't caused any harm to my foetus as long as I take care of myself. He advised me reduced in breastfeeding too. Instead of consultation, he's consoling me .. I guess my expression must be very obvious. My hormones level is going haywired again, no wonder Baby Marcus has been rejecting my breastmilk. I thought it's my diet that caused such problem.

Called my hb to inform him n he asked me what we should do. I told him if he wants a No. 2 (which before this number 2 came, he told me that he wants Marcus to have a brother or sister), abortion will not only caused risk to my health, but also potential risk to the next baby. He kept quiet. I told him that I hope we can reach an agreement soon. I really hope that within these 2 weeks, I am able to find a new job n that my new employer can accept my new pregnancy. My friend is asking me not to reveal my pregnancy to the interviewer because it hasn't been confirmed on how many weeks my foetus is, but is that ethical to do it?
 
wenwen, u have to take care of urself really well. this time u have to eat more nutritiously than the last one cos ur body had so little time to be ready for this bb. =D on the bright side, at least u know why marcus is not drinking...=D

as to whether to be honest or not. i will be honest about it and play a fair game. up to the employer to see if he wans to employ me.
 
Hi Wen Wen,
My fren also had her 2nd within 6mths after her 1st. Had to quit her job cos she's spotting. Now a happy mum of 3, hubi being the sole breadwinner still.

If you are sure to have #2, isn't it a blessing in disguise to have it now, raising 2 kids at the same time? It's tough now thou but sweetness comes when they both goes to childcare almost at the same time.

Endure the 1st 2yrs (even it means to tap into your saving) and when they are in childcare, you can get back to work. Afterall the best years are to see all their '1st' rite? Also, unless bbs fall sick, how much $ can they spend?

Stay +ve ok. If abortion risk to the next baby, it can b a lifetime regret. PLS PLS weigh carefully the pros and cons, dear.

Personally dun think it's a gd idea to lie on your pregnancy during interview. Perhaps can come to a deal like...eg having 2mths instead of the entitled 3mths ML if you are employed? Or if you have to go for checkup, take no pay leave? Jus my 2cts worth.
 
Hi Jocelyn,

I'm starting to slowly switch my boi's FM today and it will take around 2wks to c if he adapts well. So by then if you still have the 3tins, PM me direct can? Btw, what's the expiry date?
 
wen-wen, am sure u can come to a gd decision with ur hubby. do take gd care in meantime!

hmm... abt whether to tell ur future employer abt ur pregnancy: tink u shd for ur own good.. imagine if they find out later and they suspect u? i tink dat'll be worse rite?
 
wen-wen, take care and be strong.

mummies, I have increased my girl milk intake to 150ml as well since 1st Jan. Now she can finished them all at the same interval 3hrs +/-. The only different is that she started to poo more than once a day now. Ave ard at least 3 times. Is this normal??? The additional milk seems to be pass out as poo poo!!!

Also, have your menses comes already. I read that if I'm not on Total breastfeeding, menses shld come latest my 10 weeks. But now, its already coming to 15 weeks liao.
 
Hello mummies,

How is everyone doing? Having fun with your babies that will want to play with you so much?

Raphael is wanting to play more than anything else...Really trying hard to entertain him. Brought him to kiddy palace to try out the jumperoo...Haizzz...He is too small for it and still dunno the fun of it....Thinking whether to buy or not.

Wenwen, I guess that men are worried about their financial capablities when it comes to having a second baby within such a short time.
But since already confirmed, for me, I feel that accept is the best solution. Somemore, it should be a happy thing thou....your son going to have sibling. Just need to plan your finances properly and search for contract basis job...at least you get to have some source of income.

My husband use to have a contract basis colleague. I think when she starts working, she is already 4 months pregnants, before she went delivery, the company sign her as perm staff after she came back from her ML. It is a win-win situation, at least she got some income, and the company no need to pay for her maternity leave.

So don't be dishardened...It is a blessing. Take care.
 
hi wen wen, I'm from the Jan 08 thread but always pop by here.

I just wanted to add on about your hubby's current perception towards #2. I tink he may be the kind of guy who likes things to be predictable and within control. Thus when this piece of surprise news was announced to him, his initial reaction is one of unhapiness and uncertainty.

Maybe you can try giving him a few days to think through the issue. Some guys will 'awaken their idea' after a while and suddenly 'xiang3 tong1' and his attitude may totally change.

I say this from my own experience. My #1 was not planned and his initial reaction was not to want to keep the baby. After I made a fuss, cried etc for 1 week, his heart softened and he agreed to keep the baby. Now we are both happily anticipating the birth of our #1 anytime soon.

I hope this will give you hope towards 'handling' your hubby's emotions. He is probably just as confused as you are.

Sorry for the lor sor post. I just found our situations to be so similar. By the way, I resigned from my job when i was 5 mths preggie so i emphatise with your feelings of financial insecurity.
 
frostyfiona, I must really learn to be more bo chap! :)

Wen-Wen, I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Abortion is a huge decision so you and your hubby must have a good talk. Whatever course of action you take eventually, it has to be fully accepted by both of you. One cannot feel like he/she is just going along unwillingly. In the meantime, please do take good care of yourself - physically and emotionally!
 
hi all
happy.gif


ben mum...your bb feeding pattern quite similar to mine, also not fixed time, ie, we feed on bb's demand...if bb didnt make noise or can sleep thru, i'll not feed him... t'4, we end up got to wake up at odd hour to feed...i tink as bb grows older when their intake eventually increase, they'll b able to sleep longer in the nite...

totoro, i tink if bb drinks alot & poo 3x a day is normal ba, as long not watery..

gingerleaf..take care ya..try ask your mum/mil or friends to standby for the 5 days & help, if not v siong if u alone esp u fall sick esp got pets in hse too..

wen wen...i also tink u shd let interviewer knw if u r preggie, if nt, later they find out not v good.. hv a good chat w your hubby, i'm sure u both can work out something, seek both your family members assistance if need b esp on childcare issue, at least u can rtn to work force w/o worry..
 
junnie! i love u!!!!!! i tot i am going siao cos my bb still feeding on irregular timings! grins...thanks for pulling me back to sanity. everyday, i have arrange his bathing times, his poo times according to his feeding times. peng...every morning have to think and think...=D
at least now i know my bb stil rather 'normal' =D thanks a million!!!!
 
morning mummies
happy.gif


wen wen,
be strong! though i know it may not be easy for u at this point of time but i really believe baby is a blessing... try to work things out wi ur hubby, i believe nothing is impossible if both of you have the same goal and work hard together... or maybe u can try some part-time or home-based job? really sweet to see mummies here so supportive, so cheer up gal...
happy.gif


gingerleaf,
oh dear... take care gal, drink plenty of water & vit c... i had cold last week also, i called mrs wong and asked whether is it safe for me to take those med coz of breastfeeding... she said it's ok... so gal, i think u can give mrs wong a call for clearance on those med, and try to have ur med earlier, dun wait till u really sick coz it may take longer time to recover... ask for help if u cant manage k gal.. and if u bored alone at home, can always sms me
happy.gif


totoro & hippo,
ya, i read that menses for partial BF shd resume ard 8-10 weeks.. im still express out BM and supplement bb wi FM once or twice everyday... my menses not back yet as well... hmm...
 
Thanks for all the mummies that gave me advice. Last night I've been thinking about my problem, frankly speaking, I began to doubt my ability of having the second baby.

I'm only 24 while hubby is only 25 this year. We entered the workforce for around 2 years and Baby Marcus came unexpectedly. Yes, we do have savings but as I posted in previous post, Baby Marcus didn't pass his hearing test and he has to go back to KKH to review his ears periodically n after chinese new year, he has go through a minor operation where his ears will be thoroughly checked. All these cost $$ and I am really worried that if the second baby comes along, our savings will be depleted in no time if I can't a job. I've spoken to both my parents n in-laws. They are of course shocked by the 'almost-immediate' pregnancy but they respect whatever decision hubby n I made.

Hubby's attitude changed slightly since yesterday. I guess he began to accept this pregnancy n when I told him that our parents said that they actually respect our decision, he said to me that it's always easy to say abort, but to do it, it's so so hard .. I am trying to think about our future. I really love my child a lot, but I believe there will be a lot of finger pointing n frustration built up when this second baby comes. Not mentioning that my hubby is not ready for the second kid, I am also not ready.

Childcare will posed a problem in time to come. My mum now takes care of Marcus when I worked, but she cannot handles 2 babies at one go unless a maid is hired. Given our financial ability, I doubt we can do that. Both In-laws are working, so I really have no one to turn to.

I read from Today's Parent Jan 08 abt preparing for second baby. It's best to conceive again 18 mths after the previous birth. This will give the mother ample time to recover n get her body to prepared for the next baby. If pregnancy occurs too fast after the previous birth, there is high chances the baby will born prematurely or underweight. Since the pregnancy with marcus, I have this chronic cough which till now lasted for 1/2 year. It has not recovered n there is a few times that doc suspected I have TB. I went through X-ray n doc realised that I have very think phlegmn ard my lungs around n this causes my childhood asthma to come back again. Marcus caught the virus from me n since the second month of birth where I handle him everyday.

I am so lost now. It's not abt my preservance to keep the baby anymore. It's about how well is my mental n physical health prepared for the second baby..
 
Hi wen wen,

Anyway it's you and your hb's decision. We can't say anything also.

I heard that first three months after delivery is the most fertile period. Anyone try to make love during this three months or later, please do all necessary precautions even you're BF.. Don't do liao, kena then regret.
 
wenwen,
no matter what decision u make. must make sure it is the joint decision made by both u and hb. as i see it, it will not be easy either way. something has to give way.
can only pray that u 2 will make the decision best for ur family. =D
 
joyce, i aso got do leh...but never kena. sighs....gynae says even if i do immediately the month after giving birth aso wont kena de cos my ovulation is so irregular. dunno whether to laff or cry when he said this. =)
 
dodo,

I partial BF during the 1st month and stopped. And my menses came at the 10th week counting from my bb's birth.

So maybe yours will come after you stopped? I thought as long as you're still BF, menses won't come?


wen-wen,

I can understand your agony. Our baby also came unexpectedly when we just got married, just got our flat, did our reno so we were heavily in debt since we only planned for a baby like 2-3 years later whilst enjoying our couplehood. Mentally, we were not prepared at all. Abortion also came into our mind.

But somehow or another, everything just came in place and money issues were no longer a problem.

I asked my hubby the same question yesterday "What if I'm preggy again?" He replied saying that he wouldn't mind at all seeing how adorable our baby is now! And now that I think of it, I couldn't imagine how it'd be like not to even give that little life inside me a chance to live. It's a life we're talking about.

So do think it carefully with your hubby because there will be alot of "What ifs" in future. Hope everything works out fine for you.
happy.gif
 
wen wen,
looks like you're quite bend towards abortion but do think carefully.. like what bbwos said, they'll be a lot of "what ifs" and "how it's like".. make a decision that both of you think will not regret down the roads and feel guilty about. it's a little life that comes from both of you, so do think carefully ok? hope everything will works out for both of you..

ben mum,
i'm using nipple shield to bf
happy.gif
what do you want to know abt nipple shield and bf?
 
hi Wen Wen,

Sorry to hear about your predicament. I think you should approach AWARE about your job situation. The employer is highly unethical! And I can't believe can't help u! How can our country treat us this way?! Here we are busy producing for the nation and returning to the workforce after consuming our legally entitled leave only to find a foreigner replacing us! It's totally bs. I support writing to FORUM about this issue. In fact, I think you should write to the PM and the Minister of Manpower about this. It's not fair to this citizen. Just go to gov.sg to get the email addresses. I think this unfair employment practice should be highlighted and the fact that we are not protected when we return to our jobs. Did your boss indicate anywhere in black and white regarding not wanting you back? However, going to the Forum would mean not having your old job back (like you would want to), and might even open up possible employment opportunities! Why don't you think abt that? Let me know if you need any email addys to the female MPs, I can pass it to you. Maybe someone like Lily Neo may be more sympathetic to this predicament. PM me if u need her email.

I agree with the mummies that having a bb is a blessing and that having an abortion wld also impact ur subsequent ttc attempts and carrying to term. However, also agree with Joyce that this is between you and your hubby, and that both parties must commit to whatever decision you take. But I'm also sure that things will work itself out if you do decide to continue, since $$ wise, you hv already made the initial "set-up" costs, the extras wld be the medical costs for this 2nd bb.

Regarding the revealing of ur preggers status, frankly, if I'm you, I wouldn't reveal it as it's still very early. I know of a gf who didn't know she's preggie till like the 9th week, so I'm sure you can be forgiven for not knowing till then. If i'm not wrong, once past a certain mth of pregnancy while you are hired, you may not be entitled to the maternity benefits, but I guess these vary from organisation to organisation.
 
wen wen....can understand all the fears and frustrations that you are facing now...but really...think its best to sit down with ur hubby and really have a heart to heart talk thru the issue...coz it would not be good to have finger pointing later on in time..coz it will add to more friction between the family...

but i agree with everyone that babies are a blessing..its a life...now that we all have our tiny tots who are growin up so fast....that little one in you is also a person...just a really tiny one at the moment tho..please really think carefully about it k...

can check with u moms....do ur babies sleep in the afternoon?? mine does not want to sleep at all...literally..she sleeps when u are carrying her...put her down...5-10 mins later starts to wriggle and suck her hand and wakes up, big eyed and happy...like just took a power nap...sighz...dunno how to get her to sleep...anyone got advise?

btw...when do babies start to turn?
 
bbunny, my bb usually sleep in the afternoon. if we miss her initial sleepy cues, then she'll be up and take naps instead and we'll likely need to carry her till she's drowsy, so I try not miss her sleepy cues.

I also read somewhere that bbs start to turn from 3mths onwards. so might want to exercise caution and try not to leave bb unattended from now on.
 
Hi all,

Life is a miricle. My preg is also unexpected. Havent gone thru customary and didnt plan to have BB for the next few years as my hubby just started his own biz. Is a shock when i discovered im preggie ... my hubby and i accepted bb readily as life is precious.. although we have to push back lots of plans but still we have no regret till now. Life is very hectic now, not to mention the finiancial constraints since BB is never in our plan initially. Im very touched by what my hubby said.. he can forgo food and clothings... everything.. but want to provide a good environment, foundation and edu for BB. So my bb started his gymboree class when he is in his 3rd month and both of us are struggling with day to day expenses. My MIL said we waste money loh.. haha

Seeing him growing up everyday is a great sense of acheivement. we have been taking care of him everynight since he is born. Althogh my mil did offer to help when im v tired.. i refused.. From unable to provide bb with bm till now i can give him at least 4 bottle a day... wow... is a long road and battle with myself not to give up.

Wathcing him growing... from almost zzz every monents to now he can 'play' with us... ee... aa everyday 'talking', smile... laugh...


wen wen, utilmately is the decision of yr hubby and you, i believe u will be strong enough to except any outcome. Somehow, motherhood do make us stronger.

bbunny,

im bb love to sleep, he will play awhile after his milk time.. then slepp for 1-2 hour aft tt. After his bath in the morning he will zzz straight away. at night we will put him to zz by 9 to 10pm and he will wake in and be fully alert by abt 7pm... but soon afe.. he will zzz again .. he is really a pig.. haha
 
aria, just wan to know how long b4 the birth of ur bb did u start on wearing nipple shield? and what are the things to take note of? i wan to bf for my next bb (i have flat nipples. only realised it when i was hospital after delivery. din know what to do about it then. sighs). just wan to see if there is any planning way ahead if necessary. =D
 
chris ad velvet, so envious of u 2. my bb takes naps. if he is good, 45 minutes to an hour on his own cot. else, would only be about 20-30 min. if my mil carries him to sleep, he can sleep for a good 2 hours. sighs.....
 
hi all,
so long didn't log in to read up. i have been busy taking care of my girl girl alone and while she nap, i rest as well. so much happening in this forum.

BTW, my girl girl now 2mth plus and she is drinking 6 oz of EBM.

wenwen,
think twice. do not give up a life that is given by god. hope ur hubby can accept it asap.
 


bbwow, dodo & totoro, i stopped partial bf slightly before bb's 1st mth.. but menses hvnt coe till now.. seen my GP today n preg test is negative. he said it all depends on hormones leh and might drag up to 6 mths! my god...

anyway, brought bb for her 2nd 6-in-1 jab & rotavirus today... she lost abit of weight cos wasnt feeling too well over e weekend.. =(
 
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