Hi fellow forummers,
I know there are similar threads to this but I have no mood to search for those and post there.
Just want to pour out my sorrows here.
I have been happily and "blissfully" (what an irony it is!) married for 6 years. I thought, and all my friends and relatives thought, that I was a blessed woman with a loving husband who is also a doting father to our 2 kids and filial son to his own parents. I thought I was a lucky woman to have married such a "good" man. Even my late parents felt they could entrust me to this good man. My late mum had cancer and she died thinking she had a good son-in-law. I think if she knew what had happened, she would be jumping in her grave now.
I have always known, before marriage, that my husband has a high sexual drive. And i know he surfs porn websites. After marriage, I even watch porn with him. I mean, if they enhance our own sex life as a couple, why not?
However, just a few days ago, I discovered that since 2013, my so-called "good-to-be-true" husband has been unfaithful to me. Physically. He had sex with a lady whom he said he met on a social networking site. And what's disgusting was that he even took videos of them having sex! That slut, who is a divorcee, even gave him oral sex. Whatever they did in the videos, my husband made me do it too but I know I don't have a high sex drive compared to him and I must admit, I could not satisfy him all the time. But WHY??? WHY??? WHY DID HE HAVE TO BETRAY ME? HE TOTALLY ABUSED MY TRUST IN HIM! AND HE HAS BEEN DOING IT SINCE 2013!!!!! It hurts me deeply to know that he has been doing this for almost 2 years, and all along I didn't suspect him because like what I had mentioned, he's known to be a filial son, a doting father and loving wife. Even if I don't believe, his close friends whom he has known for 2 decades and his own relatives who have seen him grow up, could vouch for that. I think if I were to tell everyone what my husband had done, nobody would believe. It's just very shocking.
I confronted him yesterday. He promised not to see that slut anymore, he claimed that he doesn't love her - they met up to satisfy each other's sexual needs. He said the slut was a willing party - there was no money involved, until one day she encountered financial problems and from then he gave her some money. He also deleted the slut's number from his hp immediately but before he did that, on my request, he messaged her and told her that I have found out about their flings, and they should not be in touch anymore. She replied and promised that she would not contact my husband anymore.
For my 3 kids (i am currently expecting the 3rd one), I chose to forgive him but i WILL NEVER FORGET THIS. OR MAYBE I SHOULD SAY, I FORGAVE HIM ON THE SURFACE BUT DEEP IN MY HEART, I WILL NEVER FORGIVE HIM. Now, i am wondering if i should go for a blood test to test for HIV. Although i think it's compulsory for all expectant women to be tested for HIV during the first trimester, right? Correct me if I am wrong.
You know, i am so devastated that I feel like doing the same thing as a revenge - find a man and have sex with him.
Sigh....still in utter shock and disbelief.
Please tell me what to do.......i need consolation. Don't wish to tell any of my relatives or friends.
I know there are similar threads to this but I have no mood to search for those and post there.
Just want to pour out my sorrows here.
I have been happily and "blissfully" (what an irony it is!) married for 6 years. I thought, and all my friends and relatives thought, that I was a blessed woman with a loving husband who is also a doting father to our 2 kids and filial son to his own parents. I thought I was a lucky woman to have married such a "good" man. Even my late parents felt they could entrust me to this good man. My late mum had cancer and she died thinking she had a good son-in-law. I think if she knew what had happened, she would be jumping in her grave now.
I have always known, before marriage, that my husband has a high sexual drive. And i know he surfs porn websites. After marriage, I even watch porn with him. I mean, if they enhance our own sex life as a couple, why not?
However, just a few days ago, I discovered that since 2013, my so-called "good-to-be-true" husband has been unfaithful to me. Physically. He had sex with a lady whom he said he met on a social networking site. And what's disgusting was that he even took videos of them having sex! That slut, who is a divorcee, even gave him oral sex. Whatever they did in the videos, my husband made me do it too but I know I don't have a high sex drive compared to him and I must admit, I could not satisfy him all the time. But WHY??? WHY??? WHY DID HE HAVE TO BETRAY ME? HE TOTALLY ABUSED MY TRUST IN HIM! AND HE HAS BEEN DOING IT SINCE 2013!!!!! It hurts me deeply to know that he has been doing this for almost 2 years, and all along I didn't suspect him because like what I had mentioned, he's known to be a filial son, a doting father and loving wife. Even if I don't believe, his close friends whom he has known for 2 decades and his own relatives who have seen him grow up, could vouch for that. I think if I were to tell everyone what my husband had done, nobody would believe. It's just very shocking.
I confronted him yesterday. He promised not to see that slut anymore, he claimed that he doesn't love her - they met up to satisfy each other's sexual needs. He said the slut was a willing party - there was no money involved, until one day she encountered financial problems and from then he gave her some money. He also deleted the slut's number from his hp immediately but before he did that, on my request, he messaged her and told her that I have found out about their flings, and they should not be in touch anymore. She replied and promised that she would not contact my husband anymore.
For my 3 kids (i am currently expecting the 3rd one), I chose to forgive him but i WILL NEVER FORGET THIS. OR MAYBE I SHOULD SAY, I FORGAVE HIM ON THE SURFACE BUT DEEP IN MY HEART, I WILL NEVER FORGIVE HIM. Now, i am wondering if i should go for a blood test to test for HIV. Although i think it's compulsory for all expectant women to be tested for HIV during the first trimester, right? Correct me if I am wrong.
You know, i am so devastated that I feel like doing the same thing as a revenge - find a man and have sex with him.
Sigh....still in utter shock and disbelief.
Please tell me what to do.......i need consolation. Don't wish to tell any of my relatives or friends.