Support group - Miscarriages

My dept oso have pregnant ladies... I duno how to cope when I go back.. I scare I will breakdown when I see her... If ppl look at me with weird look I duno how should I react.. Doc only give me 2 week HL.. Should I extend my leave to a mth?
 


Any one of you Chao du for the baby? What is needed? Sorry to mention this but I think I just discharge it out today. What do u do with it?
 
JYap,
A few years ago I donated n sign up for the ceremony way before 7th month for the Bishan "bright hill" temple.

I think i need to do again. *sobs*

But now it's so close to 7th month, dunno if can still join or not.
 
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J Yap said:
Any one of you Chao du for the baby? What is needed? Sorry to mention this but I think I just discharge it out today. What do u do with it?
Click to expand...

Been busy, just realised 7th month is less than a week now. I usually get it done at Bright hill temple. Not sure still in time to register or not. Actually, I asked them before when I registered last year, they say no need to prepare anything, unless you want to go down to have a look/pray on the actual day. They said not necessary to come as well if not free.
 
allure4983 said:
Hi ladies, after discharge from hospital I have been staying with my mum, my brother, SIL and niece.. I tot with them by my side their laughter I can forget what I have go thru... But I still can't coz my niece will Tok abt my bb say ask me must eat Cox bb need to eat... She still young only 3 yrs old so I dun blame her... But whenever I heard this my heart feel so pain and sad and I duno how to answer her... Today my grandparents say want to visit me and I suddenly break down, I tot I can face ppl le but who knows I still can't... I duno how when I go back work coz think everyone already knew I'm pregnant that time as my baby bump quite big at 17 weeks.. I really duno how to face my colleagues and my PIL side....
Click to expand...
Eh I also abit like u... at some point I thought I can face it, but when ppl say something to cheer me up I don't feel better but end up feeling even worse. I rather they don't say.

I just told my bffs (who didnt know until now) n as i msg I broke down n cried. There's nobody in my hse so I cried out loud.

So ahh.. if I were u I will take more leaves to settle the emotions. Time will heal ma...
 
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starlights said:
JYap,
A few years ago I donated n sign up for the ceremony way before 7th month for the Bishan "bright hill" temple.

I think i need to do again. *sobs*

But now it's so close to 7th month, dunno if can still join or not.
Click to expand...
Still can register for chao du. My mum do it yearly n I started after my last mc, for qingming n 7th mth
 
princessleopard,
I'm those very drama emo type 1. Cry n i feel much better.

Bought 7 days lunch n dinner from natalessentials..hope it should be ok la.
 
allure4983 said:
Hi dolly_gal I'm a pte patient at SGH...
Click to expand...
Talk to ur gynae n said u are really not ready n request for hl extension.. my gynae gave me 2 weeks n ask is it enough... I told him I m ok as mine was early mc but urs is more of midterm, really need more rest to tiao ur body I feel..
 
Dolly_gal & lazybee, thanks for the advice.. Will ask for extension as I feel. I ready not ready to face anyone yet... Will suddenly feel sad on N off for no reason....
 
allure4983 said:
Dolly_gal & lazybee, thanks for the advice.. Will ask for extension as I feel. I ready not ready to face anyone yet... Will suddenly feel sad on N off for no reason....
Click to expand...
It's normal to feel sad on n off. I was like that for at least first 2 mths .then my dh got me 2 pandora charms as memory to our angel n slowly I m back to work n let go. Next thing we did was go HK for holiday w my in laws before start ttc again...
 
Halo ladies, been MIA for a while because super busy at work.

Sad to see the new posts.

allure4983 & starlights, do take care. just take ur time to recover. If you need more time off from office, just ask ur gynea to give you more time. Body will heal fast but the emotions will take a while. It's been exactly 3 months since my last DnC and I will still the sadness once in a while.
 
Ladies, I am scheduled to do Hysteroscopy this Thursday to remove the polyp. Hopefully everything will be okie with the reports.

Would like to see anyone can share their experience.

1. How many days usually will recover?
2. Any food / chinese medicine to take during these period?
3. How long before TTC again?
 
allure4983 said:
Dolly_gal & lazybee, thanks for the advice.. Will ask for extension as I feel. I ready not ready to face anyone yet... Will suddenly feel sad on N off for no reason....
Click to expand...

Allure, only time can heal the pain. The best is to hibernate till you are ready. Try not to discuss with pple as it will stir up your emotion and feel sad again. Our heart could be still very fragile now...though we look ok. Hug hug! We walk out of this together.
 
dolly_gal said:
It's normal to feel sad on n off. I was like that for at least first 2 mths .then my dh got me 2 pandora charms as memory to our angel n slowly I m back to work n let go. Next thing we did was go HK for holiday w my in laws before start ttc again...
Click to expand...

Dollygal its a good idea to have something to remb our angel. I have been busy since back to my normal life. I am thinking if i have forgetten my little angel.
 
starlights said:
princessleopard,
I'm those very drama emo type 1. Cry n i feel much better.

Bought 7 days lunch n dinner from natalessentials..hope it should be ok la.
Click to expand...

Starlights cry all out. I understand when alone at home the sadness totally flood you. Before during and after d&c, i kept crying like a big baby. I also cry in the OT and doc and nurse have to comfort me. How to not emo and cry when we have to through such things!!
 
Starlight, for confinement food. Just thinking you can add dom/rice wine to the cod fish or salmon fish to steam. Put lots of ginger on it. Then put some broccoli or carrot together with the fish while streaming. It became a meal. I do that now. Its almost 1mth post d&c but i still try to eat all these food to bu. I really want to have a strong body for my next pregnancy.
 
Chew Sok Koon said:
Ladies, I am scheduled to do Hysteroscopy this Thursday to remove the polyp. Hopefully everything will be okie with the reports.

Would like to see anyone can share their experience.

1. How many days usually will recover?
2. Any food / chinese medicine to take during these period?
3. How long before TTC again?
Click to expand...

Chew, i have done hysteroscopy in march. You will be under GA as well. I dont feel any discomfort after the ops. Abit of spotting for 3to4days after that you can ttc in ur coming cycle. Ur polyps are near cervical area? According to my doc, mine doesn't go all the way in to uterus. Only cervical and canel area. I bfp naturally 2cycles after this ops. Its more effective to me than ivf haha. I didn't eat any tonic. I just took 1wk mc rest and everything is well. I hope you can bfp soon after this ops. Basically its a very minor ops. I still feel so upset having to go through this ops but in.the end i bfp soon aft this. Think back i am.always grateful to do this ops.
 
mangoyoyo said:
Chew, i have done hysteroscopy in march. You will be under GA as well. I dont feel any discomfort after the ops. Abit of spotting for 3to4days after that you can ttc in ur coming cycle. Ur polyps are near cervical area? According to my doc, mine doesn't go all the way in to uterus. Only cervical and canel area. I bfp naturally 2cycles after this ops. Its more effective to me than ivf haha. I didn't eat any tonic. I just took 1wk mc rest and everything is well. I hope you can bfp soon after this ops. Basically its a very minor ops. I still feel so upset having to go through this ops but in.the end i bfp soon aft this. Think back i am.always grateful to do this ops.
Click to expand...

Thanks for sharing. After the ops, I will still need to consult my gynea about my antibodies in the immune system. Not sure when I can really start ttc again. Perhaps another two months? In the mean time, I also want to "bu" my body to make it stronger for next pregnancy.

My polyp is in the uterus. Therefore must remove before ttc again.
 
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mangoyoyo said:
Chew, i have done hysteroscopy in march. You will be under GA as well. I dont feel any discomfort after the ops. Abit of spotting for 3to4days after that you can ttc in ur coming cycle. Ur polyps are near cervical area? According to my doc, mine doesn't go all the way in to uterus. Only cervical and canel area. I bfp naturally 2cycles after this ops. Its more effective to me than ivf haha. I didn't eat any tonic. I just took 1wk mc rest and everything is well. I hope you can bfp soon after this ops. Basically its a very minor ops. I still feel so upset having to go through this ops but in.the end i bfp soon aft this. Think back i am.always grateful to do this ops.
Click to expand...
mangoyoyo, i did a hysteroscopy in Dec n bfp in mar.. was also thinking if the ops made it possible~ ;)
 
allure4983 said:
Dolly_gal & lazybee, thanks for the advice.. Will ask for extension as I feel. I ready not ready to face anyone yet... Will suddenly feel sad on N off for no reason....
Click to expand...
for me sadness/anger episodes come on n off.. like last night, i cried myself to sleep.. prob the sadness accumulate since Sunday when i went for inlaw side bday celeb n ppl were asking me to take care n saw the nephew who borned a day before my loss + other babies n other kids..
hmm..i on my 5th n last week of HL.. still dun feel ready for work n back to e hectic lifestyle.. have been slowing down my pace of life since Apr, n the thought of going back to a rush v sianz.. but i know heading back to work will b a distraction to take my mind of..
Jiayou n we'll move on together!
 
I can't nvr forget the nurse who is preggy in the ot when I abt to do dnc. Asking Me is it my first child n is it I didn't take care of myself.. I feel like boxing her on the spot for saying Tat comment...
 
mangoyoyo said:
Starlight, for confinement food. Just thinking you can add dom/rice wine to the cod fish or salmon fish to steam. Put lots of ginger on it. Then put some broccoli or carrot together with the fish while streaming. It became a meal. I do that now. Its almost 1mth post d&c but i still try to eat all these food to bu. I really want to have a strong body for my next pregnancy.
Click to expand...
Thank you dear.

That sounds v simple. i might just do that n dabao when I go back to work in Aug.

I told dr gimme 14days HL. I going to emo again le.

I'm now 4 hours post op, n nurses wouldn't let me go...zzz.
 
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Yesterday spoke to manager. Her concern was my well being and if i will get affected by others.

Yesterday also heard a colleague from another dept got pregnant. Manager also worried i will get affected by the pregnant colleague from our dept who is going to due next month.

She wants me to get prepared that other dept colleagues come and ask me about my mc etc, how to handle gossip etc.

She doesn't wants me to break down and cry. Cos im working in a international school, now is still school holidays for them. So she is worried when school reopens after national day.

I guess i should be able to cope with the teachers and kids. Cos i think they are more sensible. I thinks is those local colleagues that i will face problem. But then i don't see them everyday since the school is so big...
 
starlights said:
Thank you dear.

That sounds v simple. i might just do that n dabao when I go back to work in Aug.

I told dr gimme 14days HL. I going to emo again le.

I'm now 4 hours post op, n nurses wouldn't let me go...zzz.
Click to expand...

How come? That time after I woke up, they give me milo and biscuit, and insisted I finished them before they let me go home.
 
mangoyoyo said:
Starlights cry all out. I understand when alone at home the sadness totally flood you. Before during and after d&c, i kept crying like a big baby. I also cry in the OT and doc and nurse have to comfort me. How to not emo and cry when we have to through such things!!
Click to expand...
Ha nor.
People never go through before will NOT understand.

I was quite sensitive n agitated at every single comment about it, even though they have good intentions to cheer me up.

Chew, it's my 2nd time le. I will feel e emo-sht again. It took me v long to get over the previous time. Poor hub got to tahan my bad temper. I blame him for causing my misery when I was feeling down...

My hubby said maybe I got depression. ><
 
dolly_gal said:
I can't nvr forget the nurse who is preggy in the ot when I abt to do dnc. Asking Me is it my first child n is it I didn't take care of myself.. I feel like boxing her on the spot for saying Tat comment...
Click to expand...

WHAT?! Being a nurse, how can she be so insensitive?! which hosp is that?
 
meilingg said:
Yesterday spoke to manager. Her concern was my well being and if i will get affected by others.

Yesterday also heard a colleague from another dept got pregnant. Manager also worried i will get affected by the pregnant colleague from our dept who is going to due next month.

She wants me to get prepared that other dept colleagues come and ask me about my mc etc, how to handle gossip etc.

She doesn't wants me to break down and cry. Cos im working in a international school, now is still school holidays for them. So she is worried when school reopens after national day.

I guess i should be able to cope with the teachers and kids. Cos i think they are more sensible. I thinks is those local colleagues that i will face problem. But then i don't see them everyday since the school is so big...
Click to expand...
meiling, was just wondering how r u coping! glad tt ur manager is showing some concern for u..

though i haven't gone back to work, i would think better to b prepared but no need worry so much?

hope u r doing ok~:)
 
starlights said:
Thank you dear.

That sounds v simple. i might just do that n dabao when I go back to work in Aug.

I told dr gimme 14days HL. I going to emo again le.

I'm now 4 hours post op, n nurses wouldn't let me go...zzz.
Click to expand...


The nurses maybe needs the doc to see you first before discharging you? Be strong. Take care.
 
starlights said:
Ha nor.
People never go through before will NOT understand.

I was quite sensitive n agitated at every single comment about it, even though they have good intentions to cheer me up.

Chew, it's my 2nd time le. I will feel e emo-sht again. It took me v long to get over the previous time. Poor hub got to tahan my bad temper. I blame him for causing my misery when I was feeling down...

My hubby said maybe I got depression. ><
Click to expand...


I had my 2nd MC in April also. It's is normal to feel what you feeling now. You will be sensitive, frustrated and all other emotions. Cry when u feel like it, vent out when u want to. I am sure your hubby will understand. Feeling depressed is normal also.

For me, I will sometimes just out of nowhere, hide in the room and cry for no reason. My hubby always got a shock when I do that. After that, I will be fine.

Be strong. We ladies here support each other. Take care of your health.
 
princessleopard said:
How come? That time after I woke up, they give me milo and biscuit, and insisted I finished them before they let me go home.
Click to expand...
Dunno leh. Another 40mins passed n i have already changed into my own clothes. Ate at 10am.

They just say have to observe for 4 hours...guess they r strictly adhering by it.

I just wana get out la, e adjacent bed neighbour is very cranky n is complaining about every single sht. Her screaming toddler was getting on my nerves. Zzzz
 
starlights said:
Dunno leh. Another 40mins passed n i have already changed into my own clothes. Ate at 10am.

They just say have to observe for 4 hours...guess they r strictly adhering by it.

I just wana get out la, e adjacent bed neighbour is very cranky n is complaining about every single sht. Her screaming toddler was getting on my nerves. Zzzz
Click to expand...

Hope they let you go home soon, so you can rest at home.
 
starlights said:
Dunno leh. Another 40mins passed n i have already changed into my own clothes. Ate at 10am.

They just say have to observe for 4 hours...guess they r strictly adhering by it.

I just wana get out la, e adjacent bed neighbour is very cranky n is complaining about every single sht. Her screaming toddler was getting on my nerves. Zzzz
Click to expand...
r u in observation room or ward? if got tv easier to kill time..
 
starlights said:
Dunno leh. Another 40mins passed n i have already changed into my own clothes. Ate at 10am.

They just say have to observe for 4 hours...guess they r strictly adhering by it.

I just wana get out la, e adjacent bed neighbour is very cranky n is complaining about every single sht. Her screaming toddler was getting on my nerves. Zzzz
Click to expand...
r u in observation room or ward? if got tv easier to kill time..
 
Dear gals, i would like to seek your advice

i miscarried naturally on 4July, and bleeding stopped totally on 9July.
My gynae did abdominal ultrasound n says the uterus is clear -> no need D&C
It's been 10days, n i started bleeding (moderately ) soaking up a pad every 4hrs or so.....

i suspect it's retained tissue.
my gynae ask me to wait a week to c if bleeding tapers off.

can i find out from those who have done D&C before, are there any other tests other than ultrasound to confirm that there really is tissue/ placenta left behind?
 
starlights said:
Thank you dear.

That sounds v simple. i might just do that n dabao when I go back to work in Aug.

I told dr gimme 14days HL. I going to emo again le.

I'm now 4 hours post op, n nurses wouldn't let me go...zzz.
Click to expand...
Maybe bcos u alone so the nurses aso want make sure u ok to leave on ur own... just rest first
 
meilingg said:
Yesterday spoke to manager. Her concern was my well being and if i will get affected by others.

Yesterday also heard a colleague from another dept got pregnant. Manager also worried i will get affected by the pregnant colleague from our dept who is going to due next month.

She wants me to get prepared that other dept colleagues come and ask me about my mc etc, how to handle gossip etc.

She doesn't wants me to break down and cry. Cos im working in a international school, now is still school holidays for them. So she is worried when school reopens after national day.

I guess i should be able to cope with the teachers and kids. Cos i think they are more sensible. I thinks is those local colleagues that i will face problem. But then i don't see them everyday since the school is so big...
Click to expand...
It's good that ur mgr spoke to u n show concern. My direct boss bochap, load me w all the back to back meetings n follow up before I even start work...
 
It's natural to tear when u alone first few mths, I even go to the extend counting monthly anniversary for my angel. To the extension that dh ask me stop crying, it's over n we have to move on n prepare for the next journey ahead..
As mentioned before the most comforting words I had from him was he won't leave me bcos of mc or No kids in future... it was then I decided to kp my tears n try ivf again..
 
Yup. My hubby also told me that earlier. The mc will not effect our marriage life, we can always try again. If is God's fate that we will not have kids, he will also still be by my side...
 

yoga_babe said:
Dear gals, i would like to seek your advice

i miscarried naturally on 4July, and bleeding stopped totally on 9July.
My gynae did abdominal ultrasound n says the uterus is clear -> no need D&C
It's been 10days, n i started bleeding (moderately ) soaking up a pad every 4hrs or so.....

i suspect it's retained tissue.
my gynae ask me to wait a week to c if bleeding tapers off.

can i find out from those who have done D&C before, are there any other tests other than ultrasound to confirm that there really is tissue/ placenta left behind?
Click to expand...

Hi, I did my DnC in April. My gynea only did pelvis ultrasound scan. And he said it was cleared. But I went on to take hysterosalpingogram (HSG) because my gynea wants to make sure there is no scarring.
 
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