Support group - Miscarriages
- Thread starter linda
- Start date
Dear Ladies,
Thank you so much for all ur support, I'll stay strong for wifey & my 2 princesses definitely, big princess caught high fever since sun oredi and yet to recover, woke up on & off occasionally last nite can't help but feeling xtremely miserable, I walked to wifey's bedside occasionally to look at her, stroked her forehead, really pity her, heart so pain. Woke up at 6.30am to make her early breakfast cos she can't eat & drink after 7am, op at 1pm. Now preparing to go hospital by 10am. Itz not a day to remember at all but guess all of us here wun be able to forget at all.
Kindly check they mentioned ought to do a mini-confinement after the op in order to replenish the body, is it true?
Troubled Thor
Thank you so much for all ur support, I'll stay strong for wifey & my 2 princesses definitely, big princess caught high fever since sun oredi and yet to recover, woke up on & off occasionally last nite can't help but feeling xtremely miserable, I walked to wifey's bedside occasionally to look at her, stroked her forehead, really pity her, heart so pain. Woke up at 6.30am to make her early breakfast cos she can't eat & drink after 7am, op at 1pm. Now preparing to go hospital by 10am. Itz not a day to remember at all but guess all of us here wun be able to forget at all.
Kindly check they mentioned ought to do a mini-confinement after the op in order to replenish the body, is it true?
Troubled Thor
princessleopard
Well-Known Member
Hi Ladies, it's been exactly one month today since my D&C procedure. I have been feeling strong and empowered last few week. But today, it feels like back to square one again, feeling a lot emotional and sad for myself. Keep wanting to cry for my loss. I know it has been a month and by right I should moved on. But I feel sad for my loss. Then my best friend messaged me and told me she is pregnant with a baby girl. *Rubbing salt in the wounds*........ Urghh! And plus my hubby is going for his reservist and no one is with me to support me. Don't know what is wrong with me today. I thought I was getting better for the last few weeks.
Its normal. When you thought you had moved on, some occasions will pull you down again. We are just humans, its ok to grieve sometimes. Even now, after couples of year of my first mc, I still feel down sometimes when I thought of my angels.
Stay strong, and believe you indeed have moved on already.
haze02
Well-Known Member
Hi Ladies, it's been exactly one month today since my D&C procedure. I have been feeling strong and empowered last few week. But today, it feels like back to square one again, feeling a lot emotional and sad for myself. Keep wanting to cry for my loss. I know it has been a month and by right I should moved on. But I feel sad for my loss. Then my best friend messaged me and told me she is pregnant with a baby girl. *Rubbing salt in the wounds*........ Urghh! And plus my hubby is going for his reservist and no one is with me to support me. Don't know what is wrong with me today. I thought I was getting better for the last few weeks.
Dun feel trouble abt it, it actually normal.. Til now I think abt my first and 2nd MC, I still will be emo..
Just keep urself busy to prevent from thinking... Do whatever that make me feel good... Have a brunch with girlfriend or even a day out by myself. Now I'm avoiding those ppl whom have kids or pregnant... Why torture urself and stay with those positive ppl... Jiayou dear!
princessleopard
Well-Known Member
Usually 4-6 after mc, I think you should call up clinic and check with gynae.
Chew Sok Koon
Active Member
Hi Ladies, thanks. I will move on and be strong. Decided to go gym today to vent out the negativity.
Haze02, my menses came today, exactly 30 days after my D&C which is consistent with my regular menses. Did you take any TCM to regulate your body back? Because I did and TCM told me that my menses will come around the date. You better check with you gynea first. Take care!
Thor, I did mini confinement after my M/C. I took a lot of ginger + red date drink, ginger food and bath using herbal and also went to TCM to regulate my body.
Haze02, my menses came today, exactly 30 days after my D&C which is consistent with my regular menses. Did you take any TCM to regulate your body back? Because I did and TCM told me that my menses will come around the date. You better check with you gynea first. Take care!
Thor, I did mini confinement after my M/C. I took a lot of ginger + red date drink, ginger food and bath using herbal and also went to TCM to regulate my body.
haze02
Well-Known Member
On mon, Tsb took my pulse and say my menses wasn't anytime soon but she given me medicine to boost my body and get back my menses... Hope it able to come anytime... Kind of worry me... Will call up my gynea and see what they can do...
Opsss! Count wrong... Suppose this fri will be my 6 weeks.
Think I wait until next fri... If still no sign, I will call my gynea. Cross fibger
Opsss! Count wrong... Suppose this fri will be my 6 weeks.
Think I wait until next fri... If still no sign, I will call my gynea. Cross fibger
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Hi ladies,
Wifey came out after d&c op 2hours ago, she's napping now and tink ard an hour more can discharge oredi. Been a long & tiring day, beri beri tough dun tink we can forget today in our lives at all. Our best frnd into buddism gv us many texts saying that baby wanna to tell us many messages b4 he leave, I can't bear to type it here at all, I can't help but broke dwn n weeped badly after seeing all those text messages it just seems so real.(if u guys into buddism maybe u will believe itz true too).
I jus cfm my confinement catering for 14days both lunch & dinner, starting tml.
Think we might just be the same, marking down 1st, 2nd, 3rd.......month anni of this dreadful day.
Elder daughter still dwn wif fever, n my 2nd daughter due 5.45 for her ballet class, dun tink be able to make it today oredi.
Devastated Thor
Wifey came out after d&c op 2hours ago, she's napping now and tink ard an hour more can discharge oredi. Been a long & tiring day, beri beri tough dun tink we can forget today in our lives at all. Our best frnd into buddism gv us many texts saying that baby wanna to tell us many messages b4 he leave, I can't bear to type it here at all, I can't help but broke dwn n weeped badly after seeing all those text messages it just seems so real.(if u guys into buddism maybe u will believe itz true too).
I jus cfm my confinement catering for 14days both lunch & dinner, starting tml.
Think we might just be the same, marking down 1st, 2nd, 3rd.......month anni of this dreadful day.
Elder daughter still dwn wif fever, n my 2nd daughter due 5.45 for her ballet class, dun tink be able to make it today oredi.
Devastated Thor
dolly_gal
Well-Known Member
Life still goes on. I didn't engage confinement catering as it's not cheap n mil decided to cook for me. I did ordered trial from 2 caterer n my conclusion is I can separate into 2times to eat for one meal as the portion quite big or mayb I no mood to eat much at Tat time.
Spend time w the princesses n soon will get over the grieve though it take time.
After ttcing for many years, when I got bfp then mc, I aso saw my dh broke into tears, we both felt vy bad but I guess he picked up his mood to b there for me. He said can't b 2 of us crying daily, so he needs to pick up his mood n b strong there for me.
At this moment ur wifey needs ur support the most if not she will b even more sad n guilty Tat her body didn't make the bb happened. Though we know it's not woman's fault, somehow we will start blaming ourselves not been able to sustain the pregnancy as our thots are running wild.
Hi Sok Koon,
I felt so helpless since learning the bad news yesterday that I really like buying a sandbag/punching bag to vent it by keep punching it!!! At a point of time, I even feel like punching n pinching myself hard, itz really the frustrations in within that I couldn't cope and I didn't know how to vent it out at all! Itz all so miserable n torturing!!!
I sincerely hope all ladies/wives on earth dun have to gone through this terrible stage in life at all!!!
Devastated Thor
Yup dolly gal, I actually tried & tried beri beri hard to suppress it myself tat I even hide in the bathroom n weep quietly, I definitely wun not blame her at all, in fact I felt so guilty tat she has to go through all these jus to gv mi a son, and also in fact I told her I'm contented with 2 healthy pretty princesses oredi. Bt she told mi she really like to try giving mi a prince. They will alwaz be the 3 most important Angels in my life!!
Devastated Thor
haze02
Well-Known Member
Thor,
Right now it impossible to say/do anything to console u & ur wife... Meantime focus on helping ur wife get back into her health... We couldn't do anything to stop a MC, it nobody fault at all... Both of u still blessed with 2 healthy girls.. Allow tears and frustration comes, dun need to control each emotion... It a parts of recovery stage.. During my 3th MC, I allow my hubby to talk it out and we cried together... Ur wife is blessed to have such a caring husband supporting her... We hardly see any husband coming into forum and ask for advise... Stay strong for ur wife...
Meantime for ur daughter, if possible get parents to help out.. I'm sure u need to rest too.
Right now it impossible to say/do anything to console u & ur wife... Meantime focus on helping ur wife get back into her health... We couldn't do anything to stop a MC, it nobody fault at all... Both of u still blessed with 2 healthy girls.. Allow tears and frustration comes, dun need to control each emotion... It a parts of recovery stage.. During my 3th MC, I allow my hubby to talk it out and we cried together... Ur wife is blessed to have such a caring husband supporting her... We hardly see any husband coming into forum and ask for advise... Stay strong for ur wife...
Meantime for ur daughter, if possible get parents to help out.. I'm sure u need to rest too.
Appreciate for your advise - mangohope and hopeful_mum
Maybe I should go to TCM as well "tiao" my body.
Thor, stay strong for your wife as she need your support as well. I had went through 3 mc and hubby was at my side supporting me. Very heart breaking when I saw my hubby weeping with me but at the same I am glad he was there. This made our relationship stronger and hopefully we can have our own rainbow baby in the near future.
Maybe I should go to TCM as well "tiao" my body.
Thor, stay strong for your wife as she need your support as well. I had went through 3 mc and hubby was at my side supporting me. Very heart breaking when I saw my hubby weeping with me but at the same I am glad he was there. This made our relationship stronger and hopefully we can have our own rainbow baby in the near future.
Thk u so much for the support haze02, my parents r 4ever biz wif their biz, my mum has actually agreed to ferry my younger kid to ballet bt in the end played mi out, left hospital ard 5pm, bought some omega3 & zinc tablets immediately & left, tot still gt a little time to rush her to ballet bt wifey said just miss 1 week, she knows I'm exhausted oredi too. I quickly grabbed a bite, boiled longan red date drink for wifey & ferry elder kid out to see my gp oredi, she's running high fever for 4days oredi.
Tml starting on confinement catering, at least I dun hv to worry so much on wifey's meals for the next 14days.
Realli traumatized after this incident, can I borrow some courage fr u to continue tis ttc journey haze02?
Exhausted Thor
Thk u so much peg66, I usually dun even read or visit these forums, only wifey does n she will tell some special cases from that particular thread only, this time round I can't hold it back further bt to join in n express out my misery. My limited best buddies are all singles & wun be able to understand even if I poured it out to them, tink they will just find me a nuisance even.
Exhausted Thor
haze02
Well-Known Member
How abt ur PIL? Maybe they can help out with ur two daughter?
Can understand how exhausting it could be for u... Think it as a way to prevent from thinking bah... My D&C was done on the Friday, on Monday I force my hubby to go for work.... Keep ourselves busy is good too... Used to think that hubby ard will give me enough support but realize when he ard I couldn't cry out loud, as I doesn't wan him to worry... Maybe it good that u leave ur wife some space to burst all her tears out alone too...
Meantime dun think abt TTC... Most imp is getting back ur wife's health back... During MC it 3 times as harmful as giving birth... I'm not thinking abt TTC anymore... Letting myself relax and let nature take it course, altot I'm not young anymore.. Felt tat I need space to enjoy my life then focus on something that out my ctr... Of cos i still visit my TCM and take Vit...
They are quite old n still working too, stayed far from us & dun drive, dun realli wanna impose on them too much oso too, bt my father-in-law is still caring enff to send me a long condolence SMS. U have a beri nice & supporting hubby realli! We do travel often most of the time with kids, wifey & I was so happy that this round June holidays we aren't gg anywer due to bfp after the long wait, now the ting jus happened n I dun hv to mood at all to do any planning at the mt too.
Just had a short nap n wake up, the miserable feeling just wouldn't go away!
But 1 thing realli beri comforting for sure was all the support here fr u nice ladies here realli.
Hi Ladies,
I suffered 2 m/c last year. After the 2nd m/c, I did some blood tests with my gynae and was tested positive for antinuclear antibodies (ANA litre 1:>320). My gynae referred me to Dr Sheila in Feb'14. I seen her at her pvt clinic and did some blood tests (Auto Immune tests, kidney and liver profiles, sticky blood, etc). The results indicate I have Vit. D deficiency. She wanted to prescribe some medication for me to prepare for my next pregnancy, however, I was not ready and rejected the medication. I'm not sure I have completed all tests, but I did not do the chromosome tests as it's not cheap and Dr Sheila mentioned the possibility of it affecting my both m/c is very low.
Through this forum, I learnt about the recurrent m/c dept at NUH and understand that I need to get a referral letter from polyclinic in order to be a subsidized patient. As I understand that the queuing time will be long, I would like to understand the process after you have meet up with the specialists there. Are the specialists from all areas (Rheumatologist, Gynaecologist)? Do you get to meet up with them together at the 1st visit? I would like to see Dr Sheila at NUH as she told me I'll need close monitoring by her and gynae when I'm preggy. But I'm also unsure if I did all the tests for my recurrent m/c too.
I suffered 2 m/c last year. After the 2nd m/c, I did some blood tests with my gynae and was tested positive for antinuclear antibodies (ANA litre 1:>320). My gynae referred me to Dr Sheila in Feb'14. I seen her at her pvt clinic and did some blood tests (Auto Immune tests, kidney and liver profiles, sticky blood, etc). The results indicate I have Vit. D deficiency. She wanted to prescribe some medication for me to prepare for my next pregnancy, however, I was not ready and rejected the medication. I'm not sure I have completed all tests, but I did not do the chromosome tests as it's not cheap and Dr Sheila mentioned the possibility of it affecting my both m/c is very low.
Through this forum, I learnt about the recurrent m/c dept at NUH and understand that I need to get a referral letter from polyclinic in order to be a subsidized patient. As I understand that the queuing time will be long, I would like to understand the process after you have meet up with the specialists there. Are the specialists from all areas (Rheumatologist, Gynaecologist)? Do you get to meet up with them together at the 1st visit? I would like to see Dr Sheila at NUH as she told me I'll need close monitoring by her and gynae when I'm preggy. But I'm also unsure if I did all the tests for my recurrent m/c too.
haze02
Well-Known Member
They are quite old n still working too, stayed far from us & dun drive, dun realli wanna impose on them too much oso too, bt my father-in-law is still caring enff to send me a long condolence SMS. U have a beri nice & supporting hubby realli! We do travel often most of the time with kids, wifey & I was so happy that this round June holidays we aren't gg anywer due to bfp after the long wait, now the ting jus happened n I dun hv to mood at all to do any planning at the mt too.
Just had a short nap n wake up, the miserable feeling just wouldn't go away!
But 1 thing realli beri comforting for sure was all the support here fr u nice ladies here realli.
Xing ku ni le.... But I'm sure ur wife is comfort to know she has a caring and supportive husband too. Stay strong! Jiayou!
Have to say sadly the pain will forever be there... When time pass by, the pain wouldn't be as hurting as now... Meantime stay strong for ur wife and be there when she need to cry... It good tat she able to share her pain with u too... Talk helps to smooth the wound too...
haze02
Well-Known Member
Samnana,
After u go polyclinic for referral letter, they will give u an appt to meet a gynea at G Clinic... Best that u bring all ur blood tests report during ur appt... Ur first appt normally will be a gynea, show ur report to him/her... Ask to have a appt with Dr Sheila... Btw, her appt is only once every one mth, so that why slot is very tight... From what I see, mostly needed tests shd be already done for u... See Dr Sheila at the G clinic, I believe she will only give u the same answer... But of cos once u get pregnant, u will need to call their nurses ASAP to make an appt... As they will give u addition help to support the pregnancy. The rates also be a lot different compare to private lor...
bliswifu
Active Member
Thor at least u have 2 children. Many of us dont even have any... Some even went through ivf. At least u can channel your energy to ur two kids. Sok koon, me too...i avoided going to my colleague's baby shower....though i still go facebook, see ppl preg, having babies, i just tell myself, one day i will def have my own baby...! I believe all of us here will! We r all v brave ladies who went through this n come out stronger. Just need time to heal
hopeful_mum
Well-Known Member
Yes agree with haze. I'm one of those who benefitted from this. Had abt 4/5 miscarriages nvr found out the cause until recently during my current pregnancy.
Diagnosed with sticky blood psd (protein s deficiency). For me it only happens during pregnancy. So before pregnancy my levels were fine and unable to detect.
Before pregnant when I ttc they already gave me certain meds to take including vit d which I take daily. I believe all these has helped me to my current 13w status. I have nvr came so far. With baby aspiring also probably help my blood not to clot so fast.
Once pregnant they are very attentive esp if u have certain detectable conditions. Immediately they put me on clexane jabs daily.
The rates are definitely much more affordable. I knew someone of similar condition see dr shelia as pte patient and pays abt 500 for one mth supply of jabs. As a sub I pay 85 consultation fees etc also cheaper. My wait is once a mth. But it's sufficient as I see my Gynae almost twice monthly after tested positive.
First trim they observe more. I believed if my next visit goes well then they will see me less. But will still take me blood test to monitor my psd status. I feel very grateful that I met ladies who recommended me there. Without going to nuh I may nvr discover this. Cox my previous gynaes refused to test.
baby_sparkles
Active Member
Yup I'm on of those who still doesn't have a kid
Lost my "baby" at 8 weeks
Lost my "baby" at 8 weeks
hopeful_mum
Well-Known Member
I'm okay I think. Trying to stay positive, it's tough I admit. The further along I get the more I worry as any lost will get tougher to deal with. By 2nd June I will know if I have successfully step into 2nd trimHey hopefully mum,
How u doing? Soon u reach 2nd Trimester...
Great to hear u doing well... Push me for more hope...
Jia you okay. Tiao ur body and follow what nuh prescribed to help prep our body
Precious babies
New Member
Baby Sparkles
Me too no kids and im quite old too, alr cant use govt grant for IVF.
But guess we all got to just keep trying, esspecially we belong to those not easy to natural conceive.
Nearly 2 week after my 2nd MC , at times i will still suddenly cry out when alone......... Life still goes no no matter what had happened.
Sat im going for my 1 scan after MC, hope the doctor said all tissue is cleared..........
Jia You All !
Me too no kids and im quite old too, alr cant use govt grant for IVF.
But guess we all got to just keep trying, esspecially we belong to those not easy to natural conceive.
Nearly 2 week after my 2nd MC , at times i will still suddenly cry out when alone......... Life still goes no no matter what had happened.
Sat im going for my 1 scan after MC, hope the doctor said all tissue is cleared..........
Jia You All !
baby_sparkles
Active Member
dont worry u will be fine ok...
the stork will arrive very very sooon!!! got abit delayed.
Fann Wong got hers at 43!
the stork will arrive very very sooon!!! got abit delayed.
Fann Wong got hers at 43!
needsomehelp
New Member
Hi ladies, been a silent reader for a while. But today realised that nobody understand our pain as much as they did not went through these. Married for 2 yrs plus.
I was diagnosed etopic pregnancy last Jan (on our 1st yr wedding anniversary). That was not as bad as everything happened too fast from the day (less than a week) i found pregnant to losing it to etopic. Thought all is well when i found out pregnant this yr mar. Had all the terrible morning sickness and even the bump, though i know its the gas. But all ended during 2nd scan (conincidentally tt day was on birthday) when gynae told me there was no heartbeat and my baby did not form. That hurts seriously. For no reason, the baby was not there anymore. Since these 2 mishaps, my HB and i no longer celebrate our anniversary, n i doubt i will celebrate my bday next yr. And we told ourselves, nv to arrange gynae appt on special occasions.
My friend who recently went through a break up told me she felt like a second break up when she saw her ex got attached. I felt like telling her, everyday when i saw pregnant ladies, friends baby pics, its like experiencing miscarriage everyday. Nobody knows how much it hurts to go through this. Another friend just commented that she's not having any alcohol during our gathering this sat cos she's prepping her body for pregnancy, just in case. I felt so hurt. I know the comment meant no harm. But she made getting pregnant sound so easy. Why would it be so difficult for me? Ever since this m/c, I've been taking chicken essence and dom every alternate days. Mum will boil tonic soups twice a week, and I will force myself to eat the cordyceps (feel like puking cos its literally like eating worms) just to tio my body. No cold and carbonated drinks. Just hoping that the next baby that comes along will stick. I have to go though so much hoping to get that BFP, hoping that the baby will stay with us. But everyone else seems to have it so easy. Even had a friend who got pregnant and it's twins, she n hubby had no family history of having twins.
Till today, i will still cry thinking of the lost pregnancies. I could have had 2 babies. If and only if....
I was diagnosed etopic pregnancy last Jan (on our 1st yr wedding anniversary). That was not as bad as everything happened too fast from the day (less than a week) i found pregnant to losing it to etopic. Thought all is well when i found out pregnant this yr mar. Had all the terrible morning sickness and even the bump, though i know its the gas. But all ended during 2nd scan (conincidentally tt day was on birthday) when gynae told me there was no heartbeat and my baby did not form. That hurts seriously. For no reason, the baby was not there anymore. Since these 2 mishaps, my HB and i no longer celebrate our anniversary, n i doubt i will celebrate my bday next yr. And we told ourselves, nv to arrange gynae appt on special occasions.
My friend who recently went through a break up told me she felt like a second break up when she saw her ex got attached. I felt like telling her, everyday when i saw pregnant ladies, friends baby pics, its like experiencing miscarriage everyday. Nobody knows how much it hurts to go through this. Another friend just commented that she's not having any alcohol during our gathering this sat cos she's prepping her body for pregnancy, just in case. I felt so hurt. I know the comment meant no harm. But she made getting pregnant sound so easy. Why would it be so difficult for me? Ever since this m/c, I've been taking chicken essence and dom every alternate days. Mum will boil tonic soups twice a week, and I will force myself to eat the cordyceps (feel like puking cos its literally like eating worms) just to tio my body. No cold and carbonated drinks. Just hoping that the next baby that comes along will stick. I have to go though so much hoping to get that BFP, hoping that the baby will stay with us. But everyone else seems to have it so easy. Even had a friend who got pregnant and it's twins, she n hubby had no family history of having twins.
Till today, i will still cry thinking of the lost pregnancies. I could have had 2 babies. If and only if....
princessleopard
Well-Known Member
Sorry to hear about your losses. Big hug!
Yes, no ones will understand what we had gone through except all the ladies here. That's is why we support one another here.
I lost mine at 9th and 6th week respectively. First one came too sudden, same like yours, its unexpected. First scan was fine, I heard the heartbeat too, then 2nd scan, heartbeat stopped. Its devastated. My pregnancy symptoms were very strong too. I had a tough time getting through it. 2nd mc, I kinda expected it as I dun feel pregnant at all and then I started spotting, all supports doesn't help at all, then it mc naturally.
Ya, seeing people got pregnant so easily are really hurtful. I tried for 5 years, conceived was SO difficult yet cannot carry BB to full term. I even tried so many times of IUIs but all failed. Life is just unfair. But think positively, we are just the chosen ones to be a better, stronger mothers for our children. We will cherish our rainbow babies more compare to others.
Stay strong and take care!
Didn't catch a gd sleep last nite at all, contemplating to buy sleeping pills yesterday bt tot it shd be harmful for both wifey & myself, we decided to hold it first.
Time for a clear confession, tis MC is actually our 7th ivf, our 2nd kid oso through ivf only succeed after 2nd time through fet, wifey was still beri young when we started finding ourselves having difficulties conceiving after 1st kid where we can conceive naturally, we both took full body check ups after about 6-9months, went to east shore fr heng tun lan for consultation, discovered wife perfectly ok, problem lies with me (low sperm count) referred to an Indian fertility doc, ate some fertility pills for more than 3months w/o results, close frnd happened to succeed conceiving doing iui at RH Dr Sheila Loh, so we decided to gv it a try, 1st schedule cocked up by her senior nurse(I dun wan to mention names) she told us the wrong timing for tat hcg jab b4 the procedure, we were totally devastated, pressed the panic button and managed to find our current Gynae Dr Ann who performed our 1st iui bt still failed.
She advised for ivf for my sperm count case, we decided to give a try while we are still young, to cut short we succeed after 2nd time by FET, 1st fresh we oso didn't make it. I vividly remembered during the fet procedure the monitor was totally blackout & Dr Ann jus uses her feel to carry out, we put in 3 & strike 1. That was lucky n unlucky I tot cos still managed to strike 1 bt perhaps if the monitor wasn't down, we might have got 2 & closed factory.
To cut it short, we started trying again(wife hopes to gv mi a boy) straight after my 2nd kid was only 6months, as we knows definitely not easy for us, nature way for another 6months in avail, then started this ivf tingy again. 3X (1 fresh & 2 frozen) in 2012 all failed in Malaysia, rested 10months, went bkk last oct, started storing embryos, went back again last dec for 1st fet, failed again n this apr we flew back again, n after that u ladies knew the story, & all embryos we did the full chromosome tests. Guess it is just not fated, from all these past few years scenarios I must really said that I truly grateful n admire my wife's courage & determination cos there are some cocked up in btw during procedures that cost her tremendous pain n tortures, she's a timid small sized homely gal who's terrified of jabs! I will be there for her alwaz, up & downs, all these scenarios just makes our bonding stronger & stronger each day!
Apologize for the long long words here realli ladies.
Sad Thor
Time for a clear confession, tis MC is actually our 7th ivf, our 2nd kid oso through ivf only succeed after 2nd time through fet, wifey was still beri young when we started finding ourselves having difficulties conceiving after 1st kid where we can conceive naturally, we both took full body check ups after about 6-9months, went to east shore fr heng tun lan for consultation, discovered wife perfectly ok, problem lies with me (low sperm count) referred to an Indian fertility doc, ate some fertility pills for more than 3months w/o results, close frnd happened to succeed conceiving doing iui at RH Dr Sheila Loh, so we decided to gv it a try, 1st schedule cocked up by her senior nurse(I dun wan to mention names) she told us the wrong timing for tat hcg jab b4 the procedure, we were totally devastated, pressed the panic button and managed to find our current Gynae Dr Ann who performed our 1st iui bt still failed.
She advised for ivf for my sperm count case, we decided to give a try while we are still young, to cut short we succeed after 2nd time by FET, 1st fresh we oso didn't make it. I vividly remembered during the fet procedure the monitor was totally blackout & Dr Ann jus uses her feel to carry out, we put in 3 & strike 1. That was lucky n unlucky I tot cos still managed to strike 1 bt perhaps if the monitor wasn't down, we might have got 2 & closed factory.
To cut it short, we started trying again(wife hopes to gv mi a boy) straight after my 2nd kid was only 6months, as we knows definitely not easy for us, nature way for another 6months in avail, then started this ivf tingy again. 3X (1 fresh & 2 frozen) in 2012 all failed in Malaysia, rested 10months, went bkk last oct, started storing embryos, went back again last dec for 1st fet, failed again n this apr we flew back again, n after that u ladies knew the story, & all embryos we did the full chromosome tests. Guess it is just not fated, from all these past few years scenarios I must really said that I truly grateful n admire my wife's courage & determination cos there are some cocked up in btw during procedures that cost her tremendous pain n tortures, she's a timid small sized homely gal who's terrified of jabs! I will be there for her alwaz, up & downs, all these scenarios just makes our bonding stronger & stronger each day!
Apologize for the long long words here realli ladies.
Sad Thor
princessleopard
Well-Known Member
I think a lot of things are so unexplainable. I had a friend who married young and had her first child immediately. After that, she keep trying for 2nd one but it never happened. They went for a lot of checks, gynaes and tcms, all said they were ok. Till last year, she conceived naturally and gave birth to her 2nd ones after 9 years apart.
Feel free to rant here, we are here to support one another.
baby_sparkles
Active Member
Thor: its sad. but i can understand the situation. cos ive done 3 cycles already and still nothing in the end.
did you see Dr Wiwat in BKK? and im curious, after chromosome testing, doc proceeded to FET?
did you see Dr Wiwat in BKK? and im curious, after chromosome testing, doc proceeded to FET?
Yes baby_sparkles, he's the one. After chromosome testing which they termed it as acgh, they will only advise to put the good & beta grades embroy(s) in, rest will normally discard & they do it by multiple of 8.
Wifey & I r realli totally drained out, mentally & physically, we just dunno what strength can enable us carry on with this dreadful journey! I want to opt out, bt wife wish to continue, bt I will definitely respect n support her whichever decisions. U guys are rite, itz utterly painful when u kept hearing pregnant good news ard fr frnds & relatives which happened exactly on us rite now! Those r e ppl who will nv understand our agony!!
I'm just sitting down at a kopitiam now eating my vegetarian rice n tears jus couldn't control bt flow dwn naturally, ppl beside might tink I'm crazy bt I couldn't help it anyway.
Work are piling up oredi & I'm just keep holding n holding it off at the moment, dunno when will explode oso. Hai...
Sad Thor
Wifey & I r realli totally drained out, mentally & physically, we just dunno what strength can enable us carry on with this dreadful journey! I want to opt out, bt wife wish to continue, bt I will definitely respect n support her whichever decisions. U guys are rite, itz utterly painful when u kept hearing pregnant good news ard fr frnds & relatives which happened exactly on us rite now! Those r e ppl who will nv understand our agony!!
I'm just sitting down at a kopitiam now eating my vegetarian rice n tears jus couldn't control bt flow dwn naturally, ppl beside might tink I'm crazy bt I couldn't help it anyway.
Work are piling up oredi & I'm just keep holding n holding it off at the moment, dunno when will explode oso. Hai...
Sad Thor
Chew Sok Koon
Active Member
Hi Thor, it is a difficult period to pull through for both ladies and their husbands. Tell yourself that your love ones are still around. Be strong for them. And do things with a purpose to make a better life for your love ones. My hubby was so disappointed when he knew about our 2nd M/C and we have been trying for one for 2 yrs liao. He found his way to move forward by spending some time with his close buddies and talk things through and divert himself with other positive things. I am sure both of you will pull through. Stay strong. Remember "Hope - There are always".
Chew Sok Koon
Active Member
Hi, I am also married close to 3 years and been trying to have baby too but had 2 M/C. And yes, no one knows how we feel. I am surrounded with friends who are giving birth soon this year and are my close friends. Every month, one will tell me they have bb girl, another one will tell me it's bb boy. It hurts a lot but we have to move on somehow. Stay strong. I cried yesterday because it was 1 month after my m/c. It is natural that we will feel sad at certain point of time or at anytime.
needsomehelp
New Member
Hi Sok Koon and princessleopard... thx for the replies and support. We can only show our vulnerability and sorrow here. In front of others, we have to 'pretend' we are moving on and feeling strong.
Princessleopard...you r right, what we have gone thru will make us a better n stronger mother. We have to stay positive...so our rainbow babies have faith in us and arrive soon.
Princessleopard...you r right, what we have gone thru will make us a better n stronger mother. We have to stay positive...so our rainbow babies have faith in us and arrive soon.
needsomehelp
New Member
Btw...i naturally m/c on 13 april. My mensus supposed came on 10 may which was on track (abt 4 weeks since m/c). But it was not as heavy and messy as my gynae warned me about. I bleed for 7 days....but till today i still had lsome brown spotting. I guess it should be okay rite?
bliswifu
Active Member
Need somehelp sorry for ur loss. Welcome to this forum where all the sisters have been so supportive. Just vent out ur sadness here...it is normal to feel sad before we can move on...
Thor - ur wife is v brave. Rem to stay positive for her...during this mc, my hubby was devastated , nearly fainted when gynae broke the bad news cause it was our miracle baby,married 4 years, only know he got varicocele last end year after checks n me low ovarian reserve. 1failed so iui, scheduled for ivf but couldn't proceed due to low ovarian reserve,while waiting for next ivf cycle, got miracle baby n then no hb....
I stayed positive n i realised it helped my hubby to recover faster...of course i was devastated but i kept telling myself can try again next cycle...n even joked with my hubby that our baby will b jubilee baby-meaning next year we will have a baby (i know who cares abt that but just a tiny bit of console)
Time will heal...try to keep ourselves occupied....i guess some r blessed in having babies easily, while we r blessed with other good things in life
Let's cry out loud, all we want, end day, let's just smile cause is not the end...we always have the next cycle to look forward to. N we will def b parents like many sisters here who went through mc have proven to us
Thor - ur wife is v brave. Rem to stay positive for her...during this mc, my hubby was devastated , nearly fainted when gynae broke the bad news cause it was our miracle baby,married 4 years, only know he got varicocele last end year after checks n me low ovarian reserve. 1failed so iui, scheduled for ivf but couldn't proceed due to low ovarian reserve,while waiting for next ivf cycle, got miracle baby n then no hb....
I stayed positive n i realised it helped my hubby to recover faster...of course i was devastated but i kept telling myself can try again next cycle...n even joked with my hubby that our baby will b jubilee baby-meaning next year we will have a baby (i know who cares abt that but just a tiny bit of console)
Time will heal...try to keep ourselves occupied....i guess some r blessed in having babies easily, while we r blessed with other good things in life
Let's cry out loud, all we want, end day, let's just smile cause is not the end...we always have the next cycle to look forward to. N we will def b parents like many sisters here who went through mc have proven to us
princessleopard
Well-Known Member
I dun have spotting after the first AF report. First mc was d&c, I had on/off spotting for about 4 weeks after d&c, but after first AF report at 6th week, everything was back to normal. 2nd natural mc, bleed for 3 days then stop, first AF came about 4 weeks later. No spotting after that. If you are worried, can call up gynae and check as individual body condition varies.
baby_sparkles
Active Member
princess: i was reading thru ur post in ZSNN thread.. i also went to pray at 4face buddha after my first failed cycle. then after that, i had the MC
but i dont quite understand what laoshi was saying cos my Chinese is so limited.
but i dont quite understand what laoshi was saying cos my Chinese is so limited.
haze02
Well-Known Member
Hm..... U sure that is ur period? Might be ur body still expelling.... Did u went back for a scan to cfm to clear?
For me, the first MC I took more then 8 weeks to clear my spotting which needed clomid to help regulate my period... 2nd MC, I didn't have any prob... Abt 4 to 5 weeks my menses arrive... 3th MC, which is now.. 6 weeks still waiting for my period but today I saw spotting.. Shd be coming ard the corner..
haze02
Well-Known Member
Thor,
Dun pressure urself... Ppl alway say mens dun cry, It a bullshit! Pls cry and talk as much u want... U human as well, dun bother abt what ppl thinks abt u.... Since they only passby in ur life...I think it best that u have a gathering with ur close Fren... My hubby talks to those guys that he close too and he felt more relief aft that.... U blessed with two kid and a brave wife... Do what u guy suppose to do now.. Which is get back on track and health... Other issue, it best to leave it later... No point stressing up now. Jiayou!
princessleopard
Well-Known Member
Oh really? Then we had similar encounter. After my first mc, some people told me to go pray in bkk. About after a year, I went to pray. The following month I was preggy but mc again. I asked laoshi whether I should return the favour or not as I promise to return the favour when my baby is born healthy. Laoshi said no harm return the favour although mc still happened. I think likewise too, better dun play play with god...haha. since I am going again, just return the favour, at least I feel at ease, cos I did got preggy. Do you want to know how to return the favour? Are you going bkk soon?
baby_sparkles
Active Member
Actually I didn wanna make specific request though deep down in my heart I wan a healthy bfp n bb. I have pcos so I just prayed for general good health.... Hoping my pcos would go away so I can bfp naturally
I didn't specifically say I will come bk to give thanks cos I didn't wanna make promise, but I will definitely go if I really bfp.
I didn't specifically say I will come bk to give thanks cos I didn't wanna make promise, but I will definitely go if I really bfp.
dolly_gal
Well-Known Member
I have been gg to 4 faced buddha in bkk for many years. Started from my dad as he is businessman so a frd recommended to him n he started. Most businessman believes in 4 faced buddha. If I were to b in bkk for 4 days I will go pray at erawan daily in the morning before starts touring or shopping ard. It has become a habit.
If I dun get to go back the next year, whichever frd or relative goes bkk erAwan, I will ask to help return ang pao ..
If I dun get to go back the next year, whichever frd or relative goes bkk erAwan, I will ask to help return ang pao ..
princessleopard
Well-Known Member
I see. Laoshi taught us to do that. Usually pray to gods for baby, we need to return favour depending on what you promise. Cos its at bkk, so I said I will return when baby is born cos I do not want to travel when I am preggy. Same thing like zsnn, people promise to return red eggs when baby's full month.
