Hi ladies,
Never did i tot i'll be back in one of these threads.
I just had a miscarriage. This time its twins. 1 boy 1 girl.
I had a previous loss at 25 weeks.
This set of twins, i lost them at 22w2d. I had 3 days of those mucus discharge, same as previous loss. So i decided to go gyane and check it out. True enough, gyane check and i am already dilated 2cm. I was already on anti-contractions pills since 20weeks. I was being refer to KKH to Dr June Tan by my gyane. When i reach KKH O&G, the doc check and say there are some watery discharge, waterbag broke.
I was admitted on 3/9, put on IV antibodies to prevent infection due to dilated cervix and waterbag broke. But contraction starts to come and go despite taking anti contractions pills. I was then out on a anti contraction drip, which is wonderful as it stop the contractions. I did an emergency cerclage on 4/9, doc managed to close the cervix by 1cm as my boy's waterbag is bulging at the cervix. Operation is successful. I was hopeful too.
7/9 the contractions came back again, i was wheel to the delivery suite for monitoring. I request to be back on the anti contraction IV drip but the doc refused to gave me unless i am clear from a blood test, cuz they say if i am on the drip the drip can cover the infection and they can miss it, undetected, plus the side effects of the drip will make mom hb fast or worst water in lungs. My hb is already quite fast, thus they also quite refused t give. The blood test will take 1-2 hrs to come back. AND to make things worst, the person can't find my veins, poke here and there just cant find blood. By then i was already in great pain, intense contractions. I knew thats it, babies are coming. I just told the doc to cut open the cerclage, i can feel the babies needs to come out. I feel the urge to push already. Doc checked and can see the stitch are tearing on my cervix, waterbag bulging on my cervix.
Finally, when its done. I delivered my babies within mins. I'm already at 5cm when they cut the stitch open. Both of them are just 2 mins apart.
Both of them are so perfect!! Just way way too early.
Doc conclude that it is due to weak cervix. It might be the cause for my previous loss. 3 losses in 1 1/2 years. I keep thinking, my 1st born had a good survival week but when reach hospital already no hb. This time, twinnies, have such good hb but just haven reach the survival week. How ironic and pathetic..
I really wanna start trying immediately but somehow i feel so scare. Despite knowing the cause, we can prevent it from happening but there are just so much circumstances that we will not be able to know might happen. I just cannot understand why people like us tried so hard to have baby and out there, there are people who do abortions, torture or even throw away their newborns inside the toilet bowl..
Haiz... This time i couldn't help to feel so much guilty, if only i go to gyane 1 day earlier. Waterbag wont break and might not even have infection. Even tho hubby keep saying its not my fault. But i really feel it is. Why i just dont trust my own instinct and go a day earlier and wait for another day. This time i really feel it is my fault, all bcuz of my stupid delay and caused me my babies.
I tot this time round it would be much easier but its not.. I tot i had already prepare for the worst scenario.