Please PM or email [email protected]..thanks The Brilliant World of Tom Gates by Liz Pichon
Tom is a mischievous kid who is consistently late for school, loves to annoy his sister, and isn’t the best at getting his homework done. And yet, he is completely appealing and kids will love reading about his antics, his feud with Marcus Meldrew and his attempts to impress the very smart Amy Porter. Following the life of Tom is anything but boring.
Tom Gates is the master of excuses for late homework: dog attacks; spilt water; and, lightning. Tom's exercise book is full of his doodles, cartoons and thoughts, as well as comments from his long-suffering teacher, Mr Fullerton. After gaining five merits for his "Camping Sucks" holiday story, Tom's work starts to go downhill - which is a pity, as he's desperate to impress Amy Porter, who sits next to him.
Back to school, but it's not all bad. We're entering Rooster in a dog show, the School Disco and my birthday are coming up so this term's going to be amazing! Mostly because Delia's not invited to any of these. There's only one small problem with my birthday, Granny Mavis says she's going to cook ... uh oh !
But on the other hand, Mr Keen has asked Dogzombies to perform in front of the whole school! YEAH! Maybe they can even play at the school disco too. How can the term turn out any less than seriously amazing?
Follow Tom on his third set of cheeky and doodle-tastic adventures in this Roald Dahl Funny Prize winning series !
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"Seeing Delia without her sunglasses on is a BIG shock, but that's nothing compared with the surprise Dad has in store for me with his new found fitness regime. He says he's going to compete at my Sport's Day. Shame! Meanwhile Derek, Norman and I keep practicing in DOGZOMBIES so we're really ready for the school Talent Show."
The highs and lows of Tom's life are funnier and more extreme than ever in this fourth wicked diary from the Roald Dahl Funny Prize winning series !
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Excellent Excuses (And Other Good Stuff) by Liz Pichon
No school for two whole weeks leaves Tom with heaps of time for the important things in life. Yeah! He can forget all about lessons and the irritating Marcus Meldrew, and save his energy for good stuff! Stuff like: inventing new ways to annoy his sister Delia. (So many). Band practice for the Dogzombies – rock stars in the making! Watching TV and eating caramel wafers; eating caramel wafers and watching TV. Excellent! But clouds are gathering on the horizon in the form of Tom’s weirdo big sister Delia. And when trouble collides with his brilliant plans, he’ll need all his excellent excuses... Crammed with scribbles, doodles, stories and sniggers, this hysterical journal brings you more manic mayhem from the crazy world of Tom Gates. HA HA HA!
From the winner of the Roald Dahl Funny Prize, the Best Book for Younger Readers - Red House Children’s Book Award and the Waterstones Children’s Book Prize 5 - 12 year-olds category comes the second amazing instalment of this brilliant series !
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In his acclaimed and #1 bestselling middle-grade comic debut, Children's Choice Award Author of the Year James Patterson has never been more hilarious--or heartwarming.
Rafe Khatchadorian has enough problems at home without throwing his first year of middle school into the mix. Luckily, he's got an ace plan for the best year ever, if only he can pull it off: With his best friend Leonardo the Silent awarding him points, Rafe tries to break every rule in his school's oppressive Code of Conduct. Chewing gum in class--5,000 points! Running in the hallway--10,000 points! Pulling the fire alarm--50,000 points! But when Rafe's game starts to catch up with him, he'll have to decide if winning is all that matters, or if he's finally ready to face the rules, bullies, and truths he's been avoiding.
James Patterson's debut middle-grade novel addresses some of middle schoolers' biggest issues: bullies, first crushes, and finding out what makes each of us special, all with a hilarious main character and fantastic in-text illustrations that are sure to have young readers begging for more !
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James Patterson's winning follow-up to the #1 New York Times bestseller Middle School, The Worst Years of My Life—which the LA Times called "a perfectly pitched novel"— is another riotous and heartwarming story about living large.
After sixth grade, the very worst year of his life, Rafe Khatchadorian thinks he has it made in seventh grade. He's been accepted to art school in the big city and imagines a math-and-history-free fun zone. Wrong! It's more competitive than Rafe ever expected, and to score big in class, he needs to find a way to turn his boring life into the inspiration for a work of art. His method? Operation: Get a Life ! Anything he's never done before, he's going to do it, from learning to play poker to going to a modern art museum. But when his newest mission uncovers secrets about the family Rafe's never known, he has to decide if he's ready to have his world turned upside down !
I Funny - A Middle School Story (James Patterson & Chris Grabenstein)
Jamie Grimm is a middle schooler on a mission: he wants to become the world's greatest stand-up comedian - even if he always seems to 'choke' in the spotlight. When Jamie finds out about a contest called the Funniest Kid on the Planet, he knows it's time to face his fears and enter. But are the judges rewarding him out of pity because he happens to be in a wheelchair, like his bullying cousin Stevie suggests? And will Jamie ever share the secret of his troubled past - and reason for his disability - instead of hiding behind his comedy act?
In this highly illustrated book that's as heartfelt as it is hilarious, James Patterson dishes out heaps of jokes that will have readers rolling on the floor and cheering for more.
My brother is a big fat liar (James Patterson & Lisa Papademetriou) From blockbuster author James Patterson comes the third installment in the #1 New York Times bestselling Middle School series!
Georgia Khatchadorian plans to excel at Hills Village Middle School in all the places her troublemaking brother failed. She's even bet him that she'll quickly become one of the most popular girls in school. But Rafe left a big mark at HVMS, and no one will give Georgia a chance! Even worse, Rafe has sneakily signed up her band to play at the school dance, and she's terrified to embarrass herself in front of the snooty 'Princesses' who run the school and the boy who's caught her eye.
Will she be able to overcome her fears and win her bet with Rafe? Find out THE TRUTH about Rafe Khatchadorian's sister in the first Middle School story from the point of view of the hilarious Georgia - a girl who's ready to speak her mind !
Middle School: How I Survived Bullies, Broccoli and Snake Hill (Middle School #4)
Rafe Khatchadorian, the hero of the bestselling Middle School series, is ready for a fun summer at camp—until he finds out it's a summer school camp! Luckily, Rafe easily makes friends with his troublemaking cabin mates and bunkmate, a boy nicknamed Booger-Eater, who puts up with endless teasing from the other kids. Rafe soon realizes there's more to a person than a nickname, though, and Booger-Eater might be the kind of friend you want on your side when the boys from the Cool Cabin attack.
This fourth book in the massively popular Middle School series is an unforgettable summer of hi-jinks, new friends, and surprises, all told with the hilarity and honesty readers have come to expect from blockbuster author James Patterson.
I EVEN Funnier (James Patterson & Chris Tebbetts) (I Funny #2)
Middle schooler Jamie Grimm has big dreams of being the best stand-up comic in the world – and he won't let the fact that he's in a wheelchair get in his way.
After winning the New York state finals in the Planet's Funniest Kid Comic Contest, Jamie's off to Boston to compete in the national semi-finals. But when one of his best buddies runs into trouble at school and a sudden family health scare rears its head, Jamie has to put his comedic ambitions on hold and stand by the people he cares about.
Can Jamie pass up the big competition for the sake of his friends and family ?
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Middle School: Save Rafe ! (Middle School #6) Join Rafe as he survives white-water rafting, camp counselors, and rock climbing in this hilarious story from the Middle School series.
After a rough summer, Rafe is heading back to the dreaded Hills Village Middle School, the site of the very worst years of his life. And as if that's not bad enough, he's learned that he's going to be held back a year unless he can prove himself on an outdoor survival excursion--complete with dangerous white-water rafting, dizzying rock climbing, and fanatical counselors. Rafe and the rest of the pack of "delinquent" trainees are forced to cooperate as they prepare for the final test: a solo excursion in the deep woods. Can Rafe come out of the experience in one piece? And if he does, he go home as the same insecure kid ? Both heartwarming and hilarious, Save Rafe! is a story of perseverance and courage as only James Patterson could tell it.
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Middle School: Ultimate Showdown (Middle School #5)
Readers get a chance to participate in James Patterson's wildly successful Middle School series in this interactive book featuring more than 80 hilarious anecdotes from dueling siblings Rafe and Georgia Khatchadorian--plus dozens of fun-filled activities !
The Khatchadorian kids are an opinionated duo, and as readers of the Middle School stories know, they don't exactly see eye to eye. But when wild-card Rafe and mostly-straight-laced Georgia go at it, the only thing more fun than their ranting is getting to join in! Their back-and-forth banter on a range of topics--from bullying to cafeteria food to school dress codes--introduces more than 40 writing and drawing prompts and other games, along with room for readers to share their own points of view.
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I Totally Funniest: A Middle School Story (I Funny #3)
In the third episode of James Patterson's bestselling series, Jamie Grimm is one step closer to becoming the best kid comic in the world, but he's facing his biggest challenge yet.
Jamie Grimm is back and better than ever. After scoring big on national TV in the semifinals contest, everyone back home is jumping on the Jamie Grimm bandwagon, and all the attention might be going to his head. Not only are his friendships starting to suffer, but the pressure of coming up with his best material ever for the ultimate standup act to snag the final win in Hollywood is pushing Jamie to the brink. Suddenly, life isn't looking very funny anymore. Can Jamie take the grand prize without pushing away his fans, friends and family ?
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You will love Selby's Side Splitting Joke Book. Selby, the only talking dog in Australia and perhaps the world, has collected another bunch of hilariously humorous jokes, riddles, knock knocks and insults to tickle your funny bone and set you giggling and snorting so much you might just split your sides. Q: What do you get if you cross a toad with a galaxy? A: Star Warts !
Warning! This book could cause your sides to split and your tummy to ache as it tickles your funny bone and rocks your socks with more hilariously, funny jokes from the master of mirth – Selby.
From the only talking dog in Australia, and perhaps the world, comes a rip-snorting, rib-tickling collection of good-time gags, jokes and riddles and funny sayings guaranteed to send you into peels of laughter.
Selby focuses on his witty side, letting his ears flop in the wind and howling to the moon like never before. Superbly illustrated by legendary doggy doodler Allan Stomann, Selby's Joke Book is the ideal gift for the Selby devotee.
'this dog has no nose.' 'How does he smell?' '
' terrible' Join Selby with this gathering of giggles and gut-busting gags. Watch Gary tackle life on a leaky boat with a bad history. Chuckle as he gets involved in a film romance with a difference. Be part of the epic 'Poem that Stopped Bogusville'. And when an unseen heckler beats him to the punchline every time, Gary's in trouble. Selby must not only discover who the phantom gagster is, but stop himself laughing at Gary's terrible jokes ... and blowing his own secret! For the first time in one book, readers can find, and fans can rediscover, all the hilarious stories starring Gary Gaggs, Selby's favourite funnyman.
The fifth-grade girls and the fifth-grade boys at Laketon Elementary don't get along very well. But the real problem is that these kids are loud and disorderly. That's why the principal uses her red plastic bullhorn. A lot.
Then one day Dave Packer, a certified loudmouth, bumps into an idea -- a big one that makes him try to keep quiet for a whole day. But what does Dave hear during lunch? A girl, Lynsey Burgess, jabbering away. So Dave breaks his silence and lobs an insult. And those words spark a contest: Which team can say the fewest words during two whole days? And it's the boys against the girls.
How do the teachers react to the silence? What happens when the principal feels she's losing control? And will Dave and Lynsey plunge the whole school into chaos?
This funny and surprising book is about language and thought, about words unspoken, words spoken in anger, and especially about the power of words spoken in kindness...with or without a bullhorn. It's Andrew Clements at his best -- thought-provoking, true-to-life, and very entertaining.
So begins the story of Scab McNally, a fourth grader with a mission. Part inventor, part daredevil, Scab is determined to let nothing get in the way of convincing his parents to let him buy a dog -- especially his "smart times ten" twin sister, Isabelle.
When his newest invention, a sister-repellent spray (aka Isabelle's Smell), becomes a hit with the guys, Scab hatches a plan. He'll earn enough selling Isabelle's Smell to buy a dog, and then his parents will have to say yes, right? But one broken bottle of the mega-stinky concoction brings major disaster, not to mention a hazmat crew.
In the midst of his self-pity, Scab realizes that his drive to get a dog has hurt the people he cares about most. Will Scab be able to set things right? Find out in author Trudi Trueit's laugh-out-loud novel introducing the irrepressible Scab McNally to the world.
Summer's finally here, and Derek Fallon is looking forward to pelting the UPS truck with water balloons, climbing onto the garage roof, and conducting silly investigations. But when his parents decide to send him to Learning Camp, Derek's dreams of fun come to an end. Ever since he's been labeled a "reluctant reader," his mom has pushed him to read "real" books-something other than his beloved Calvin & Hobbes.
As Derek forges unexpected friendships and uncovers a family secret involving himself (in diapers! no less), he realizes that adventures and surprises are around the corner, complete with curve balls. My Life as a Book is a Bank Street - Best Children's Book of the Year.
A collection of jokes covering all subject areas from the Abominable Snowman and absent-minded professors to zombies and zoos. Get ready for tremendous laughs from some of the greatest jokes ever told. You'll find plenty to crack you up
Heaven is for Real: A Little Boy's Astounding Story of His Trip to Heaven and Back by Todd Burpo, Lynn Vincent
When Colton Burpo made it through an emergency appendectomy, his family was overjoyed at his miraculous survival. What they weren't expecting, though, was the story that emerged in the months that followed--a story as beautiful as it was extraordinary, detailing their little boy's trip to heaven and back.
Colton, not yet four years old, told his parents he left his body during the surgery--and authenticated that claim by describing exactly what his parents were doing in another part of the hospital while he was being operated on. He talked of visiting heaven and relayed stories told to him by people he met there whom he had never met in life, sharing events that happened even before he was born. He also astonished his parents with descriptions and obscure details about heaven that matched the Bible exactly, though he had not yet learned to read.
With disarming innocence and the plainspoken boldness of a child, Colton tells of meeting long-departed family members. He describes Jesus, the angels, how "really, really big" God is, and how much God loves us. Retold by his father, but using Colton's uniquely simple words, "Heaven is for Real" offers a glimpse of the world that awaits us, where as Colton says, "Nobody is old and nobody wears glasses."
"Heaven is for Real" will forever change the way you think of eternity, offering you the chance to see, and believe, like a child.
Classic Edition Bible Storybook Retold by Carolyn Larsen
More than 150 Bible stories are retold and illustrated by beautiful paintings from Standard Publishing's Classic Bible Art Collection. Great for devotional and bedtime reading. ~~ ~~
From #1 New York Times bestselling author James Patterson comes a brilliantly original adventure series, jam-packed with action, humor, and heart !
The Kidd siblings have grown up diving down to shipwrecks and traveling the world, helping their famous parents recover everything from swords to gold doubloons from the bottom of the ocean. But after their parents disappear on the job, the kids are suddenly thrust into the biggest treasure hunt of their lives. They'll have to work together to defeat dangerous pirates and dodge the hot pursuit of an evil treasure hunting rival, all while following cryptic clues to unravel the mystery of what really happened to their parents-and find out if they're still alive.
