Who pays for what at home ???

R

rayray

Member
hi, just wondering between you and hubby,
1) who pays for what .. some examples
a) Utilities
b) Household /family necessities
c) Luxuries- shopping, outings
d) Baby's insurance, education
e) Extended family commitments (mom/dad etc)
f) Other subscriptions (eg. Professional memberships)

2) If you're a SAHM, who pays for your insurance and item e & f above ??? thanks !
 


hi rayray,
me and hb have a joint account and joint budget for household stuff. so each month we will do contributions to the account for these things.

(a), (b), (d) is paid jointly between us.

for (c), if i m buying my own stuff, i pay for it myself. same for (e) and (f).

but if you r SAHM, then i think hb will have to be paying cos u have no regular income for such things.

hope it helps.
 
i am the same as SY...

we hv a joint account for all the bills for the house and bb. we contrubute an equal amt into the account everymonth.

(c) & (f) like insurance - of cos own expense... :p

(e) - he gives his own parents, i give my own parents.
 
hi,

sometimes really wish to be like u all, FTWM, hav $$ to spent on clothings, shoes, accessories, help hb in financial matter as well...
My hb will pay for all the utilities, hsehold bills, shopping expenses, bb insurance etc.
He gives $$ to his parents but not mine.
I pay for my own insurance.
 
thanks for your input, I sure would like to be a SAHM (all expenses paid of cos) ha ha...

mumbb, (if I'm too nosy jus tell me off)...
how are you paying for your insurance if you're not working ? From saving ? But it'll run out sooner or later...
 
mumbb,
if i m not working, hb would have to be covering all expenses including my parents' allowance. i think that is only fair since you are not working.

rayray,
u planning to be SAHM?
 
Hi there. I'm a sahm and my hubby pays for everything. I don't give my parents any allowance - they are financially a lot more well-off than us! Just a big ang pao for CNY to show my respect :)
 
Hi everyone,

I was a SATW (stay-at-home wife) for 2 yrs before conceiving and then transitioned to a SAHM until now. My bb is now already 17.5 mnths. Hubby pays for almost everything, pays the bills & my insurance policies.

I used to spend like there's no tomorrow when I was working then. My hubby gave me personal $$ allowance (due to religious obligations) on top of my take home pay .
Then I got retrenched, and I told my hubby that I don't intend to work, just stay at home. My hubby told me he respect my decision and that of course there will be no more frills. And then the reality starts to sink in. No more impulse shopping, travelling and definitely lesser restaurant eating, movies & lattes!
I had to 360 degree adjust my mindset, expectations and my spending patterns. It wasn't easy for both of us initially and we had to list down the expenses vs income to see the figures.

My hubby still gives a monthly lump sum to me, and up to me to figure out what to save and what to spend. And such autonomy is one of the factors that made me determined to continue bf, until today. The money saved from bf, we put some in bb's several saving accts and some for future holiday treats.
Overall I think gd communication & realistic expectations are the key to handle the financial thingy. Both hubby & wife need to let go of egos at times.
 
rayray,
well, my hb will give me some allowance every mth, so i can use the $$$ to pay for insurance ..If really run out of $$$, then go back to hb n ask for more...

SY,
i don think it is practical to ask my hb to give allowance to my parent, since he has a huge burden on his shoulder having to pay tis n tat. Besides tat, he is not earning a lot, so i tink is unfair for him to do this....
But he will normally give ang poa to my parent as a show of respect. Moreover,my parent are richer than us, they don need any allowance either....
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rayray,
I am a full time working mum.

a) Utilities - hb pays
b) Household /family necessities - hb gives me a lump sum of $1000 a month to cover all these
c) Luxuries- shopping, outings - I pay
d) Baby's insurance, education - hb pays
e) Extended family commitments (mom/dad etc) - I give to my own parents only
f) Other subscriptions (eg. Professional memberships) - hb pays for his own subscriptions, I don't have any

mumbb,
I agree with you. If I don't work, I also think it is not fair to ask my hb to give allowance to my parents. That's why I cannot stop work, because my parents have not much savings.
 
mumbb,
think if your parents dun need your allowance, then it's ok.
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i always tell myself next time i must be self sufficient also so dun have to burden my kids. my parents are also self sufficient now so i dun really need to give allowance. but think if one day my father is not working, plus i become SAHM, then i wd want my hb to give allowance to them as well to be fair.
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hi rayray,

mine...

a) Utilities - me
b) Household /family necessities - hb
c) Luxuries- shopping, outings - me for shopping, overseas trips we share, local normally hb.
d) Baby's insurance, education - share
e) Extended family commitments (mom/dad etc) - me for my parents, hb for his.
f) Other subscriptions (eg. Professional memberships) - me for mine, hb for his
g) Car - insurance & road tax me, petrol erp & maintenance hb

giving to parents -
i think giving money to parents is a good value to pass down to the children. it's not to burden them, but to in build in them the value of giving back something that your parents have given you. the actual amount isn't that important as the act of giving. for me, my parents don't really need an allowance but i still give them something every month.
 
sorry a bit sensitive here...but can i ask how much do u gal give to yr parents each mth?

my mom thinks that my sis-in-law gives more to her own mother than i do...sigh
 
Elizabeth,

It is perfectly natural for ur sis-in-law to give more to her own mum mah(assuming if she really does that). Many times, i find it hard to understand. Y people like to compare and make themselves and possibly other people miserable?
 
Currently I am a student not working and my bf draw salary around 3-5k commission basis. Recently, we had a very serious disagreement regarding issues like after married how household financial responsible shld be divided. I insisted that man should contribute more furthermore he has the financial capability which i dont have. However he think that such contribution has to be equal... i think this is very unfair. Even after i graduate i will only be able to draw salary around 2k so definitely i cant contribute equally like him therefore i suggest proportion in % of our earning... but he giving me excuses that he high expenditure so dont have much money left... Haiiiz.... so angry!
 
hi all,

just to ask, if the wife is earning more than the hb, how? say abt 50% more....
 
The husband earns about 3-4 times more than me so at the moment:

1. Savings for rainy days - husband's money (but he gave me password for internet transfers if i need urgent funds)
2. Household bills like rent, electricity, etc - husband
3. Household expenses like groceries - husband/ me
4. Individual bills/ expenses - up to oneself
5. Expenses for baby things - husband gives allowance
6. Holidays - husband but expenses are to be borne by oneself
7. Allowance to parents - i give to mine from my salary but occasionally the husband tops up as a 'treat'.
 
) Utilities - my hubb pay
b) Household /family necessities - Wife pay
c) Luxuries- shopping, outings - on dutch
d) Baby's insurance - hubb paid
e) Extended family commitments (mom/dad etc) - on dutch
f) Other like Maid salary,makan,bb necessities - wife pay
g) maid levy - hubb pay.

Do u think wife is overpaying or hubb under paying?
 
when I was working
I pay for holidays, renovation, my own parents allownce and my insurance
hubby pays for everything else, including the credit cards he sub to me

after I stopped working (50% cut in household income)
hubby credit his salary into my account to pay for everything

I stopped giving my parents allowance after becoming a SAHM. my brother gave them more than they can spent. so I gave ang baos and gifts to my parents on occassions, no fixed commitment

my hubby & I don't split his money or my money. It's the same household and any surplus is for rainy days and kids educations
 
i am a SAHM, so my hubby pays for everything, which includes my insurance policies and my spending/shopping money, as well as a small $200 token sum we give to my mum every mth for helping to babysit our dd once a week. his salary goes into a joint a/c we have, and i manage the finances from there, ie. pay all bills and set aside some $$ for savings. btw, my hubby doesn't give any allowance to his parents, this was his own decision and i let him be (he is not very close to his parents).
 
I am a FTMTB and will be FTWM, both of us combine all our incomes together into 2 different joint accounts (1 for expenses, 1 for savings) including all bonuses and savings before marriage, and use the monies together as well. we give all our parents equal allowance. It's up to them what it's gonna be used for.
 
I am a FTWM:

- household expenses incl maid levy- equal share
- kids education and insurance- equal share
- car (loan and insurance and road tax)- hubby
- kids misc like clothes, toys- usually me
- my parents (as part of household expenses)- equal share as we live with them...
- holidays- usually hubby
- eating out- hubby
- hubby and my insurance- each pay our own

But my hubby earns TWICE my income, so I feel I am overcontributing...what do forumers think?
 
There's no clear separation of money/account between my hubby and myself. Of course, we've our own separate bank accounts. But, we leave very little in there, just enough for daily usage.

All other money are put into common fund, used for investment/kids/utilities/insurance/housing/cars/etc.

We never have a problem with that from the start. I think it got to do with our common faith, trust and understanding of unity in marriage.
 
Before marriage, we find it very tiring to always have to think who pays what, and it doesn't feel good to do so as well. So, hb and i joint accounts, we used to pool our income together (now SAHM), came up with a joint budget for all expenses. For example, certain % from the total goes to savings, certain % goes to household, certain % goes to parents of both sides, certain % to entertainment, etc. At first, we tried to follow strictly, but now it just serves as a guidelines, especially after bb arrives ;p ! So, we will discuss before buying anything exp.; it's good that we don't have to constantly talk about money, but there's less excitement when it comes to gifts ;p .
 
Hi, since we got married 6 years ago I've been paying for all (except medical bills) cuz hb got lots of credit cards & loans to pay (from previous marriage). Btw, he borrowed more than 35K from me to pay off some of his bank loan.

Only this year, since we got 2 small kids, I insist that he start being responsible for this family. So this is our breakdown;

a) Utilities ~ hubby
b) Groceries ~ hubby + me top up.
c) Family necessities (chdn's clothes, shoes, bks, toys, home appliances etc) ~ me
d) Chdn's education & bb caregiver fees ~ hb + me top up
e) Chdn's enrichment prog etc ~ me
f) Medical fees ~ hubby
g) Luxuries ~ travel, outings ~ me
h) Extended family ~ each pay for own family
j) subscription ~ each pay for own.
k) Insurance ~ he pay his own, me & kids don't have any.

At the same time he's also paying off his loan to me on a monthly basis. It'll probably take him 6 years or more ...

Btw, he gave me cash $30 daily so I will make the necessary payments, though some days he don't give me money, for out of 30 days in a month, he probably give me money for 20 days. Mind u, I have to ask for all these payments or money every month, sometimes almost like have to beg. He always pretend to forget or pretend donno.
 
Hi,
My hubby and I dun hav separate acct. All our $$$ every mth goes into the same acct. From there, we pay everything. Car, housing, utilities, bb expense etc etc... He doesn't give his parents any $$$ ( long story) while I give my mum a nominal sum since she stays wif me. My hubby doesn't give me allowance, no such practice since long ago...
 
I am a FTWM. HB earns more than twice of what I earn, He put about about 8% of what he earn while I put 12% of what I earn to out joint account. The rest of the money we manage on our own.

- Morgage - equal payment from CPF
- household expenses - groceries utilities, broad band maid levy- Joint Acct
- Childcare- Joint Acct
- car (loan and insurance and road tax)- His car he pay
- kids misc like toys, milk bottles, pump - me
- Kids clothes- his mum always buy for the kid
- Enrichment: money we contribute not enough for enrichment
- Parents - each pay own (But he pays more than 10% of his salary to his parents + pay his parents extra whenever they "buy things for us"
- holidays- we have one holiday in 5 years. He pay for the air ticket. I pay for the hotel
- eating out- usually hubby (mostly hawker centers)
- hubby and my insurance- each pay our own
- Kid's insurance he pay.
- Luxuries usually pay for own / go dutch

Same as DIL my hubby earns more than TWICE my income, and the money we put in every month barely pay for everything, so I feel he should contribute more. Some more I handle most of the house and kids stuff e.g. fetching ds from childcare almost every day, bring kid to doctor, bring maid for check up, pay the maid, arrange for Giro / keep track of bills , pay for the household stuff before I claim at the end of the month. He can do OT whenever he wants and go for function and "net working" almost every night sometimes. While I have to rush to pick up the kid even when I can't finish my work. Some more have to "report" to him on how come money go so fast - end up recording every expense so have to be accountant too. Sorry for the long story...
 
Hi there, as my case, HB and I has no joint name A/C, I use to keep all my income in my own A/C and will only withdraw cash once in a while after the cash "dry up" in my wallet. And my $$ all spent on my lunch & transportation during week days to work.

The rest of the things will be paid by HB. Also, I use supplement credit card from my HB and pay for the groceries and etc when I go shopping.

HB earns 4 times of my income, so he pays all. We use to be like that b4 and after married. So far so good, no argue on $$....cheers!
 
My hubby & me combined our income for almost everything. He actually gives me his salary so that i can managed it like a finance minister.

We have a common accounts for insurance, expense & credit cards & savings. We seldom buy alot of things ..most of the things we spent is for the kid or food or hsehold items..
 
hi mommies,

chance upon this and need your advise. am a SAHM and DH and I have a joint account where all his funds go to and we use it to pay for everything related to the family.
for mommies who are in charge of these joint account, do you give your husband an allowance?
cos DH says he contributes all his income for his family and would like to have an increment for his monthly allowance mid of this year. am still thinking about this
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MTIA
harriet
 
harriet

I'm a SAHM & hubby credits his salary into my bank account so that it's easier for me to manage the household expenses. I will monitor his bank account balance & do a lump sum fund transfer whenever it drops below $1K. Didn't specify what is his allowance amount, he can spend any amount he deems fit. He is quite thrifty so I am not worried about him overspending
 
my two cents:

we're both working and we have a joint account, and individual accounts. we put X amount in it every month and everything that we do together comes from there. utilities, credit card bills, eating out, and baby stuff. both of us have access to the joint account

if i go to the doctor, i pay for me (excl gynae). if he wants a gym membership, he pays for himself. holidays are usually from joint accounts. if i give to a monthly allowance to my parents, it's from me. but if we give to my parents CNY angpow for instance, it's from our account. my insurance is from me, his is from him. baby's will be from us. he pays for his MBA, i pay for my facials (that makes me sound quite unintelligent somehow haha).

individual shopping, needless to say, is from individual accounts
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it's worked out fine for us. we lived together for about 2 years before getting married, and this financial structure has worked both before and after marriage.

rough guideline. we don't absolutely have to stick by it. like last month i said i cannot contribute to joint account cos i paid so much for his birthday surprise party. give and take la.

our salaries are about the same but since i am singaporean and he is not, i 'pay' for the flat through monthly CPF deductions and for downpayment. so he paid for most of the renovations.

i hope this helps!
 
Hi, I am FTWMTB and will be a FTWM.

Hubby and my salary's about equal (he earns only slightly more)

(a) Utilities + (b) Household/family necessities - We stay with IL and MIL is the one who does the grocery shopping, paying of utility bills etc. So each month both of us give a sum to his parents to pay for these items. We give equal amount for this.

c) Luxuries-shopping, outings - Meals he will usually pay. Shopping, he pays his own and I pay my own. Occasionally he will "treat" me or I will "treat" him to buying things. Also, will discuss before buying an big-ticket items. Baby's items - mostly me as he will seldom shop for baby stuff.

d) Baby's insurance, education - Everything related to pregnancy + baby taken from joint acc. We are both supposed to contribute equal amount to joint acc each month (But he does it only when I bug him to - so got argument over this before) then draw out $$ from here to pay for gynae fees, CL fees etc.

e) Extended family commitments (mom/dad etc) - He pays his and I pay mine. My parents are totally dependent on what I give them which is 2/3 of my salary! However, the amount I have agreed to give to my IL for (a) and (b) is actually more than the cost of all the utilities, groceries etc. As I felt that living with IL, must "xiao shun" them so I agreed to give more than what it will actually cost them. Would be increasing the amount when bb arrives too as MIL will be helping to look after.

f) Other subscriptions (eg. Professional memberships, insurance) - I have no membership, only insurance. He pays his own and I pay my own. We do not supp each other any credit cards, my only supp card is to my mother.
 
I am a FTWM. Sad to say, I am drawing one third, at times even twice as much as my hubby is drawing. In my case, made hubby contributed all his pay except 1K for his personal allowances including insurance. So I will allocate expenses and pay for everything, including all the above, petrol, car related expenses, summons...
 
Hi all

Mind to share how much u r putting aside as saving for raining days? as in mayb in percentage of d income
Thanx
 
Currently, we only managed to save 16% of our salary (after deducting CPF).

We have a daughter & need to maintain a car with both parents.

More than 20% goes to our parents as we are staying with my inlaws

Now we have another extra src of income coming from our ex home.
 
our total income is not fixed as I draw on comm as well..i usually try to put aside a fix amount as and when I can afford to.. minimum 200 to 1000
 
hahah .. it seems that almost anyone who has a car will have some money set aside for summons .. my husband is guilty of driving without cashcard many, many times so after being told off for giving money so freely to LTA, he will auto put the cashcard into the unit even if we're not driving under the gantry .. hahah ..
 
hi, just wondering between you and hubby,
1) who pays for what .. some examples
a) Utilities - Hubby
b) Household /family necessities - Shared
c) Luxuries- shopping, outings - Depends
d) Baby's insurance, education - Shared
e) Extended family commitments (mom/dad etc)- Individual
f) Other subscriptions (eg. Professional - memberships - Depends
 
1) who pays for what .. some examples
a) Utilities - Hubby
b) Household /family necessities - mostly Hubby
c) Luxuries- shopping, outings shop togather, he pay
d) Baby's insurance, education - Hubby
e) Extended family commitments (mom/dad etc) - pay own family
f) Other subscriptions (eg. Professional memberships) - see under who name
 
Eh, Think its a little uneven for me bah... I actually pays for most of the things.... my hubby is self employed... his income is not fixed. He only pays for his car and our outings. Sometimes when I do't have enuff then i ask from him... Even our house is using my CPF to pay oni!

A bit unfair rite....but I cant stand bills being unpaid so i always end up using my own salary to pay for most of the bills... The amounts that i manage to get from him then i will save lor....
 
annedrew, u so "wei da"... self-employed so what.. u should still get a monthly allowance from him. otherwise man will take for granted that u will pay for everything..
 
Any advise as how much is consider fair to give to hubby parents as monthly allowance? 300, 500?

How much do mummies' here get fm your hubby as monthly allowance?
 
do most of the mummies here get monthly allowance from hubby?? does your hubby give u ang pao during CNY??
 
Foliage
Actually nv consider getting any allowance from my hubby.... tot since I got my own salary, i can buy things using what i have.....

Gracious Wife
I actually give $500 to my in laws as 'monthly allowance' coz they help me take care of my kids...

Was actually wondering whether this is enuff...however, think this is the best that i can give.... my in laws actually do not noe that i actually pay for most of the things. last time i do not actually give allowance to in laws. tot my hubby shld give so every mth will wait for my hubby to give them...then 1 day, my in laws told me that my hubby nv give them a single cent in 3 mths and they are not working, helping me take care of my girl... that is when i start paying for most of the things!

I also think that my hubby now take me for granted liao..... if I do not ask from him, he will not even give any $$ to me even to pay for his car....
However, do not wish to quarrel coz of money matters thus most of the time if I can afford, then i will pay lor. Come to think of this, quite sad too....

mama G,
My hubby do give me ang pow on CNY....
 


annedrew,

so who's driving e car? and what contribution does he has for the family?

why dont u ask him to give u a fixed amount every month for household expenditure?
 
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