Other half has became a stranger?

Soulcloudy, at least yr hub didn't stray. Mine stray n fling.... before I knw at this our marriage life lack sex becos we hv 2 kids sleeping with us and we try once after so many mths didn't work kena caught by my kid who cm to find us. They were sleeping before Tha. And nw I don't even kw hw to face him. I feel dead inside. Like u I hold on for my kids. They are still young.
 


Ya, I made it a point to celeb everyone bd at home, y mum, y son, his and mine bd. I still buy him a cake cos my son likes to sing bd song and blow candles...


Verluv, thanks for reading my thread and for being so caring.... I really appreciate it.... From.bottom of my heart.... I dun Noe am I expecting too much... Just a bd celeb even not a wife... A fren, we will also celeb right? He is just totally no chap type. In the house I m 5he driver, I drive everything from house hold to my son study... If I dun drive, ntg will happ.... I m tired ... And resentment just built up along the years... Yes sometimes after some drama, he will improve a few days... After a few days back to same pattern...I dare not pray for love, I just pray for peace....

Hi soulcloudy,

Sorry that you have to go through this difficult time for so long.. :( Since your actions are not being reciprocated by your hubbs, perhaps you should just stop? I will definitely stop doing anything for him if I'm in your shoes. Continue to celebrate birthday for yourself and lovely son but not for him.

Concentrate your energy on what's worth. Maybe if your schedule allows, you can go pick up some sort of class? Like a dance/workout class? Takes your mind off all these problems and help you keep fit, looking great and feeling great at the same time! :p
Pamper yourself! Perhaps he will realise that your life doesn't revolve around him.. but don't do for anyone but for yourself, your well-being.
 
Cherry Apple....yes, hang on to the kids, they r our motivations. You mentioned your husband strayed... I can imagine the pain to go thru and how strong u r to try to make the rlp work despite the hurt he has caused you. If u can overcome that, I m sure the worst is over. Just try to direct all yr focus on the kids..and .. Let time heal.
 
qdoramon,

Do you know why he changed so drastically over the years? Knowing the reason(s) might help you to better decide if you should leave him. And if you decide to stay on, I think you need to seek professional help to salvage the marriage. Staying in the current abusive situation is not a sustainable option.
 
The team leader asked me to ask you are you ready? She tells me to tell you when you ready then you tell me so I can tell her then she can tell her team to get ready. :p
 
Yes, i mean i got beaten by this man for the past 1.5 yrs, once every 3 to 4 wks. The beatings were so serious that the bruises and humps on my face and body took 1 whole month to disappear, and of course i still have countless scars and cuts on various parts of my body and lips which seem permanent. Last month he promised he will change. Now back to stranger again. I am thinking everyday whether should i leave this man, but my job is unstable now.

I have a chopper at home older than me. Till today, my mum still uses it to chop meats. It was a gift from her dad. Why was it a gift? The message was clear to my mum from her dad and he said:" After you married to him, whichever hand of his hit you, you chop that hand off." :eek:

Thanks god women are usually non-violent but it doesn't means my dad did not abuse my mum. He did it in other ways. The growing up years seem fast and since we have all grown up, my dad hide in his little cave. :p
 
I am another sad case. Married to a man dated for 9 yrs, bearing him 2 cute kids after several ivfs, total 18 yrs with him. He was nice loving and caring b4 we have kids, but turned stranger after birth of my elder kid 4 yrs back and started throwing temper since then, now worst become abusive after my second kid came along who is 1.5 now. Yes, i mean i got beaten by this man for the past 1.5 yrs, once every 3 to 4 wks. The beatings were so serious that the bruises and humps on my face and body took 1 whole month to disappear, and of course i still have countless scars and cuts on various parts of my body and lips which seem permanent. Last month he promised he will change. Now back to stranger again. I am thinking everyday whether should i leave this man, but my job is unstable now.

Qdoramon, are your children noisy and/or difficult to handle? Could your husband be suffering from depression after the birth of your children? I was very depressed after my child was born and for quite some time, I would lose my temper and scream at my husband over the smallest things. I mean, men can also suffer from severe depression, particularly when they are under stress e.g. over work, financials, family. And in some cases, they can turn abusive. If he's not having an affair, I think he may need some serious help coz it's puzzling for a loving husband of so many years to change so drastically.
 
I hv heard stories about some men really dun like children, however the woman insist to hv children. After the children came , the marriage actually fall apart, the husband dun want to.go hm, gradually the couple don't talk.anymore and don't sleep together. So I guessed it is v hard to expect the man to chg their mind ,even if they try or agree to hv the child ... They still cannot accept. So, cannot imagine such heartless man who cannot even love their flesh and blood but indeed there r such pple around...
 
Hello, i'm a mummy of two and been married to my current husband for 9 years. Over the past few years, I feel more and more distant from him cos we are so busy with parental and work responsibilities. We seldom have time to go on dates cos our parents cannot help look after the kids and even if we have a rare chance to, we don't have much to talk to each other anymore cos he is a very quiet man by nature and our thinkings are seldom the same. This year, i found out that he has been messaging random female strangers and even engaged the services of a China female masseur for extra services. Though we survived that and i have given him a 2nd chance, I do not know if I can put up with a marriage which has no companionship and is just responsibilities all the way.

Is any mummy in the same shoes as me and no longer feel to their other half? Care to share your stories?

I just got married recently and my baby just born beginning of this month. It was a shot gun marriage for me. We dated for less than a year and we got married due to baby.

Is only less than a year of marriage, I already feel that we are strangers. During dating time, it still ok as the commitment and responsibility isn't that great. But after marriage and especially after our son born, I realised that we belong to two different world.

He seldom take care of the baby. Almost every night he will go out and come back at 5am plus. Then next day he will sleep till noon then he will go to work. He only play with him but taking care is me. As a new mother I feel so tired. I remember during the time I was discharged from hospital after giving birth, he also went out.

Then he very calculative over money. As husband, he should be the one who contribute more to the family but no. We stay in our in law house and he never even contribute allowance to the family. All these baby expenses, we have to split half and because I stay with my in law, therefore I have to be the one who contribute to the electricity bill.

There are still a lot of weird habits that I couldn't stand him but I don't want to state it here. Habits that I don't think any wife can take it honestly.

I don't know how long I can take it. But thinking that baby is still so small, I endure it for now. I give myself 3 years. Most probably I will get a divorce after that. We have become strangers. Only appear as couple in front of our relatives.
 
@Huy

I really feel so sad to read this. I hope you can turn him around slowly. Perhaps have a heart-to-heart talk but I am sure you have tried that?
 

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