reddragonbb
New Member
The pain of staying with my in-laws have been with me since I was married 11 years ago. Yes! 11 years! I'm amazed by how time passes without me losing my sanity and that the chances of me getting out of it is not happening any sooner. I felt that I needed some form of avenue to vent my anger/frustrations/helplessness....
My story with in-laws are not confined to the PIL but with the SIL as well(who declares that she is not going to get married),living and 'leeching' on the convenience of having a house to stay. When I got married, I protested to the idea of staying together but was shot down by my hubby, who is the only son, saying that he needed to take care of his aging parents. I was coaxed into thinking that it may not be that bad after all and that if we never try, we never know theory. I gave in and resulted in 11 years of regret of not making my stand then.
My nightmare started even in the 1st month of our lives together when I found out my FIL ruined my kitchen counter top by chiseling some dried glue (which he accidentally dripped) with a knife. I was horrified and the pain (in dollars and cents) of my newly renovated house, which they did not seem to care about (not from their pockets), is being 'taken care of' in such insensitive manner. Things got worse when my FIL who have the habit of bringing 'old & used' items home, started to clutter their room, living room and my miserable tiny storeroom. My hubby tried to persuade him to throw them out but was met with strong resistance that comes with 'throwing them out = throwing him out'.
While having our wits end with my FIL, comes the greatest pain in the A** of all which is my SIL. To all my friends, I am not a person who is hard to get along with and that I'm usually seen as the easy-going gal.But I have never in my life filled with so much hatred for a person like my SIL and just by talking about her makes my blood boil!
SIL is the most insensitive person anyone could imagine. All these years I never brought my friends back after one incident which she shouted from her room, at them, to keep the volume down. Others may have thought that it's in the wee hours of the day but no, it's only 10pm and my friends were just going to wrap up their activities for the night pretty soon. But they had to be met with such rudeness that embarrassed me greatly.
She has never respected the fact that she is staying with us and that the house belongs to us. Permission asking is never in her to do the things she wants to do. There is one occasion that I caught her literally 'sneaking' a friend to sleep in with her when I accidentally found a pair of sneakers tucked away in the cupboard. She doesn't feel any remorse when confronted and that no apologies is given at all. In fact, she felt that we were 'too strict' with our house rules that that we are imposing ourselves as the 'house owners' to restrict this and that.
Well, that was the time when she was 24 years of age and now being 31, she has not become any better in person. Being 31, having a career as a marketing manager and not contributing to the household utility bills, it's unthinkable. She doesn't do household chores except doing her own laundry and cleaning her own room. When she has something she wants to throw out from her room, she puts in the living room, thinking that it can be 'recycled' by other people.
Recently, we had a big fight. I found that my patience have been tested so much that I cannot tolerate anymore of her. It's either that I die with high blood or she gets out of the house. My MIL thought that we are too harsh with that and that she will be a single, vulnerable girl in the outside world, if we turn her out. MIL cried buckets and begging my hubby not to do that to his only sister. But we had enough. The good news now is she is moving overseas for a job soon. But I'm so afraid that she will come back to our house again as my MIL harbors the thought that she would if she comes to Singapore during her break. I definitely do not want that to happen and my hubby refused to talk to her to know about her plans. I cannot talk to her about it as a position of a DIL where such things are sensitive if they are not conveyed properly.
I'm still stressed that even though my SIL is going away, I'm not totally out of the possibility of staying with her again. I cannot do things too drastically as my MIL is suffering from stroke and my FIL has heart problems. Do not want to be the one to cause any collapse for their health conditions.
I gave up the thought of having children and probably am glad that I made that choice. Maybe I might regret but I think I had enough to handle with current situation. I used to cry or took it out at my poor hubby in the past. Several times I toyed with the idea of a divorce as I had enough. But hubby is a nice, loving man and in my opinion, a victim as well. With that thought, I couldn't do it. But a man's patience will grow thinner with time and I'm just praying that I will not snap one day to end all this once and for all.
My story with in-laws are not confined to the PIL but with the SIL as well(who declares that she is not going to get married),living and 'leeching' on the convenience of having a house to stay. When I got married, I protested to the idea of staying together but was shot down by my hubby, who is the only son, saying that he needed to take care of his aging parents. I was coaxed into thinking that it may not be that bad after all and that if we never try, we never know theory. I gave in and resulted in 11 years of regret of not making my stand then.
My nightmare started even in the 1st month of our lives together when I found out my FIL ruined my kitchen counter top by chiseling some dried glue (which he accidentally dripped) with a knife. I was horrified and the pain (in dollars and cents) of my newly renovated house, which they did not seem to care about (not from their pockets), is being 'taken care of' in such insensitive manner. Things got worse when my FIL who have the habit of bringing 'old & used' items home, started to clutter their room, living room and my miserable tiny storeroom. My hubby tried to persuade him to throw them out but was met with strong resistance that comes with 'throwing them out = throwing him out'.
While having our wits end with my FIL, comes the greatest pain in the A** of all which is my SIL. To all my friends, I am not a person who is hard to get along with and that I'm usually seen as the easy-going gal.But I have never in my life filled with so much hatred for a person like my SIL and just by talking about her makes my blood boil!
SIL is the most insensitive person anyone could imagine. All these years I never brought my friends back after one incident which she shouted from her room, at them, to keep the volume down. Others may have thought that it's in the wee hours of the day but no, it's only 10pm and my friends were just going to wrap up their activities for the night pretty soon. But they had to be met with such rudeness that embarrassed me greatly.
She has never respected the fact that she is staying with us and that the house belongs to us. Permission asking is never in her to do the things she wants to do. There is one occasion that I caught her literally 'sneaking' a friend to sleep in with her when I accidentally found a pair of sneakers tucked away in the cupboard. She doesn't feel any remorse when confronted and that no apologies is given at all. In fact, she felt that we were 'too strict' with our house rules that that we are imposing ourselves as the 'house owners' to restrict this and that.
Well, that was the time when she was 24 years of age and now being 31, she has not become any better in person. Being 31, having a career as a marketing manager and not contributing to the household utility bills, it's unthinkable. She doesn't do household chores except doing her own laundry and cleaning her own room. When she has something she wants to throw out from her room, she puts in the living room, thinking that it can be 'recycled' by other people.
Recently, we had a big fight. I found that my patience have been tested so much that I cannot tolerate anymore of her. It's either that I die with high blood or she gets out of the house. My MIL thought that we are too harsh with that and that she will be a single, vulnerable girl in the outside world, if we turn her out. MIL cried buckets and begging my hubby not to do that to his only sister. But we had enough. The good news now is she is moving overseas for a job soon. But I'm so afraid that she will come back to our house again as my MIL harbors the thought that she would if she comes to Singapore during her break. I definitely do not want that to happen and my hubby refused to talk to her to know about her plans. I cannot talk to her about it as a position of a DIL where such things are sensitive if they are not conveyed properly.
I'm still stressed that even though my SIL is going away, I'm not totally out of the possibility of staying with her again. I cannot do things too drastically as my MIL is suffering from stroke and my FIL has heart problems. Do not want to be the one to cause any collapse for their health conditions.
I gave up the thought of having children and probably am glad that I made that choice. Maybe I might regret but I think I had enough to handle with current situation. I used to cry or took it out at my poor hubby in the past. Several times I toyed with the idea of a divorce as I had enough. But hubby is a nice, loving man and in my opinion, a victim as well. With that thought, I couldn't do it. But a man's patience will grow thinner with time and I'm just praying that I will not snap one day to end all this once and for all.
