How to tell..or who to tell...?

[sinnyy]

Lately, I had my finding my relative really irritating (from hubby side). His aunt has been coming our place to stay saying her workplace is nearer our home and far from her house so by sleeping at my place will save her time.

Then...she has been bringing all her grandchildren to my place to use the facilities, play my kids toys and rest at my house.

She has been treating my house as her 5 star hotel and not showing my respect and giving my family privacy. As much as we like visitors, I just feel like she is treating our house like a hotel.

What's more, her grandchildren totally does not talk to bother to play with my kid, it happened many occassions when we meet outside others house, they will just refuse to play with my gal.

Should I complain to hubby..? Wait he say I 'xiao qi..'??

 

[nelle_nelle]

Wow, some people are quite unbelievable.... Not very "Zi dong"...

Gotta exercise tact and diplomacy, no choice...

A lot of times, it's not about what we say, but how we say it, that people remembers.

All d best!

 

[mehui]

Maybe u can ask him in a not-so-obvious way? Eg. Open a discussion on space/privacy at home and ask him how he feels towards the visitors. Sometimes it's better we ask for opinions before stating our own

But... if these visitors are too overbearing, you'll have to handle it quickly and discuss frankly with your hb.

How's things now?

 

[sinnyy]

mehui: The relative did not come this week, bcos our babies not well i guess.

I tink once they got wind they gotten well surely come again, lets see again..i hope she can stop 'jio-ing' others to come, like busybody.

 

[mehui]

Maybe the next time u can 'empty' your fridge. Nothing much to eat/drink = not worth popping by? Do they come by for free lunch/teabreak/dinner? Such inconsiderate people! Don't put off sounding ur hb out if they start freeloading again.

 

[nelle_nelle]

Good idea. And only have baby food.

"Any drinks?"

"Er, no, only formula and breast milk. You want?"

"Any food?"

"Er, yes, cerelac?"

 

[nelle_nelle]

That would be hilarious!! Bwahahahaha

 

[xsun]

I feel u must be truthful to ur hb, else resentment will build up and it will affect ur relationship. Just tell ur hb hw u feel, but let him know tat u r trying ur best to accomodate becos u respect him as head of family. Then u will come across as an understanding and reasonable wife. Use this situation to better ur marriage, not cast a shadow over it.

Watever it is, dun let ANYTHG destroy the harmony between u and ur own family. Its not worth it.

 

[kalpanasingh]

I am just stucked why you are so much tensed for this. Just be frank and told her to leave your house . It's your house and she is treating like it's her house . Just be strait and told her to leave .
Baby cradles

 

[mehui]

Just to share...

Have a male relative who will, during visits, take 'freebies', knowing that my parents will be too embrarrassed to say no. Anything ranging from books to camera lens. He'll just say "Wow, this is good stuff. Can I have it?" or "Can my daughter borrow this?" And we know never to expect to see these items ever again!

Likewise with food and drinks. When they go to any gatherings, they eat like they've starved for ages. They don't leave food for others and take their favourite foods in huge portions (they have 5 kids). The uncle will even ask for special sauces and expect the host to have an assortment of stuff to suit his taste. One time, he picked up a bottle of chilli sauce and said, "no I don't like this, too commercial, do you have anything else?".

Sigh... no way to change such people. Stingy, selective and still want to act high-class. To not make her relative (wife of the guy) feel bad, my mom keeps quiet and likewise my dad. Because, this guy has been like that before marriage and no one ever said anything so it's been 30 years of the same thing everywhere he goes! For my parents, they just sigh because they believe that one day cheapskate people will have a taste of their own medicine.

Some people will never change unless you put your foot down! Guess you have to decide how/when to talk to your husband and whether your relationship is strong enough not to be afflicted by conflicts over 'outsiders'. If u think your husband will side with his relatives, then you'll have to find a way to word things without sounding calculating.

 

[nelle_nelle]

I had a close relative of my husband's who was similar. There was once she asked him to help buy (means pay too) for their home's second tv.

I got to know about it and as we were out, so I picked up the call and said no car as we are sending car to workshop in tuas. And then we didn't pick up the next 30-40 phone calls.

Not the most polite but the message got through.

This was after I was tired of being fleeced a little here and there by her.

 

[nelle_nelle]

I have a colleague in office who would raid our personal fridge for our beers and alcohol. After many givings, each time he come and say, "eh, got beer or not, I take one", I would just say, " have!!!! today got discount!! Specially for you, $10 per can only!!! Come come come, buy as many as you like!!!"

After a couple of times of doing this, he stopped.

Maybe some people don't mean to and they never realized how others will feel until you bring it up in a roundabout way

 

[nelle_nelle]

Every situation is different and only we who are in it can weigh the odds and success rate of what we plan to do.

But if something affects you enough, then you might need to do something constructive about it rather than letting it eat you up slowly but perhaps surely..