Gender dissapointment


It will eventually go away lol. For me, i was disappointed to have another boy again. But when he was born, omg his cuteness and gradually realising that he is so smart, I tell myself I wouldn’t want to exchange him for a daughter. I think most people who want girls are because they are more cuddly, caring and can dress them up, but they are not all the same, some girls can scream and cry like no tomorrow (I was one of them). At the end of the day, it’s all up to the upbringing of the child whether he/she is filial. Boys can be caring too. Boys are funny too. And I’m so blessed to have 2 very handsome boys. These are the things I have realised and no longer want a girl.

You can remind yourself, wanting a child is because you are ready to love another life. Not because you want a certain gender to be a part of your family.
 
well... for me... health is more impt den gender...

I wld rather doc tells me "u have a healthy baby" den "it's a boy / girl.... but..."

To me... having a good health would beat anything... especially 4 a parent
 
Just see how many couples are having a hard time trying for a baby...if you managed to conceive, it's really a gift. Every baby is so precious, regardless of the gender. You will know this the day you carry your baby in your arms.
 
Can’t help but feel this way. I hope the feeling will be over soon
I am sure when your child is born, the feeling will go away and once you see him or her, all you will feel is love for your child and gender will not even cross your mind.
 
Dear Klmm;
Hugs to you. It must have been hard for you.
Experienced GD some years ago. Today, this kid is my pride and joy, am very thankful. I want to encourage you that you can overcome this, it just takes time.
1. GD is a like a ‘broken dream’: the kind of life or dream we envision our life to be. Now that we realised we may no longer live that dream, we feel a deep sense of loss and disappointment. Allow yourself to grieve over this loss and disappointment. You are allowed to feel the way you are feeling now, don’t be hard on yourself.
Know that we are resilient and one day, we will get over it, slowly but surely.
2. Hormonal changes can mess up your emotions, skewed your thoughts and thus aggravating GD. Seek someone (eg. counsellor) to talk it through if need be. Being able talk it out helps. But do so only if you feel safe and comfortable with that person.
3. Meanwhile, if being in a specific environment (eg. close friends or relatives pregnant/with kids with your desired gender) triggers your GD, avoid it for the time being. Practise self-care.
3. Be patient with yourself, don’t rush yourself to get over it, don’t get frustrated with yourself, or feel guilty about it. We are only human and cannot be expected to be perfect all the time. Important thing is that we aware of our feelings and are putting in efforts to overcome it.
There are many people out there with some form of GD; so really, you are not alone in this journey. You are brave to share your feelings. Kudos to you.
Remember, these feelings don’t make you feel good right now, but this too shall come to pass.
God bless.
 
Dear Klmm;
Hugs to you. It must have been hard for you.
Experienced GD some years ago. Today, this kid is my pride and joy, am very thankful. I want to encourage you that you can overcome this, it just takes time.
1. GD is a like a ‘broken dream’: the kind of life or dream we envision our life to be. Now that we realised we may no longer live that dream, we feel a deep sense of loss and disappointment. Allow yourself to grieve over this loss and disappointment. You are allowed to feel the way you are feeling now, don’t be hard on yourself.
Know that we are resilient and one day, we will get over it, slowly but surely.
2. Hormonal changes can mess up your emotions, skewed your thoughts and thus aggravating GD. Seek someone (eg. counsellor) to talk it through if need be. Being able talk it out helps. But do so only if you feel safe and comfortable with that person.
3. Meanwhile, if being in a specific environment (eg. close friends or relatives pregnant/with kids with your desired gender) triggers your GD, avoid it for the time being. Practise self-care.
3. Be patient with yourself, don’t rush yourself to get over it, don’t get frustrated with yourself, or feel guilty about it. We are only human and cannot be expected to be perfect all the time. Important thing is that we aware of our feelings and are putting in efforts to overcome it.
There are many people out there with some form of GD; so really, you are not alone in this journey. You are brave to share your feelings. Kudos to you.
Remember, these feelings don’t make you feel good right now, but this too shall come to pass.
God bless.
Thanks. This is very encouraging. Appreciate it.
 
Me too. Had gender disappointment for #2. When i was pregnant, I had a vivid dream.. I dreamt of a boy and a girl. The female in my dream (seems like have DS type) and the male is normal kind.

It seems to tell me, rather than choosing a gender, God will have everything planned out for you and give you the best!

Cheer up mommy!
 
Hi Kimm

Having a healthy baby is more important than anything else. When you hold the baby in your arm, any disappointment will go away.

In my case, I was under a lot of pressure from my ex MIL to produce a grandson. Trying to conceive was already challenging enough and having to produce a boy was even more difficult and beyond control.

Today I am a happy Mother of 2 beautiful girls which I never regret.

Cheer up.
 
Can totally relate to this.. reveal to us baby gender at recent 20-wks scan. The feeling cut through like lightning.. like a knife..hmm
I couldnt sleep. At same time feel bad for feeling this way. Baby , i hope you never knew what Mummy felt hm.
Thanks..I just need to let this out
 

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