4sgmotherhood
New Member
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CNY
- Thread starter 4sgmotherhood
- Start date
lovely0315
Active Member
I think no matter cny or not cny, still got to visit them regularly ba if situation allowed as this is respect...
Let them feel that they got extra daug than losing a son
Let them feel that they got extra daug than losing a son
mrs_lim2016
New Member
Why did they not welcome u into their home when u tried visiting them often? Did u ask your fiance for a reason why they don’t like u?
I don’t know what the norm is. Personally I’ve nv given ang pow to my parents until I got married. Now that I’m married would give both sides parents $100 ang pow each person plus 2 cans of abalone for each side.
As for boyfriend/fiancé’s parents, I will visit them on 1st or 2nd day depending on schedule. I’ll bring oranges and gifts such as bak kwa or abalone or new year goodies to bai nian. Never given them any ang pow also. Did that for all my ex boyfriends when I was with them and for hubby when we were dating. Gifts to partner’s parents depends on my financial situation/how long we have been dating. Like eg when I was a student, bring them new year goodies or bak kwa. When I was earning more and engaged to hubby then gave his parents abalone.
But so far, don’t really have an issue with my partner’s parents. Most of them are friendly with me, I also make sure I greet them and try to strike a conversation with them. Buy them gifts for CNY, christmas and their birthdays, shared with their son.
But I’m also lucky in some way not to meet materialistic parents in law. I have other issues with them though, but we get along on the surface. At least still civil to each other.
I don’t know what the norm is. Personally I’ve nv given ang pow to my parents until I got married. Now that I’m married would give both sides parents $100 ang pow each person plus 2 cans of abalone for each side.
As for boyfriend/fiancé’s parents, I will visit them on 1st or 2nd day depending on schedule. I’ll bring oranges and gifts such as bak kwa or abalone or new year goodies to bai nian. Never given them any ang pow also. Did that for all my ex boyfriends when I was with them and for hubby when we were dating. Gifts to partner’s parents depends on my financial situation/how long we have been dating. Like eg when I was a student, bring them new year goodies or bak kwa. When I was earning more and engaged to hubby then gave his parents abalone.
But so far, don’t really have an issue with my partner’s parents. Most of them are friendly with me, I also make sure I greet them and try to strike a conversation with them. Buy them gifts for CNY, christmas and their birthdays, shared with their son.
But I’m also lucky in some way not to meet materialistic parents in law. I have other issues with them though, but we get along on the surface. At least still civil to each other.
tiggerpooh
Active Member
By not visiting them, u will only make the situation worse...
When I was dating my DH, my dad didnt approve of him too. Hence, whenever DH visits or there is a family gathering, my dad will ignore DH. DH will still greet him every time when he visits, but my dad will simply ignore him. I once asked DH why he still bothers calling him since my dad ignored him. His reply was dat he has done his part.
DH will think of gifts 2 buy 4 my dad when we travel. My reaction was always, why bother since my dad may not appreciate DH's thoughtfulness. But as years go by... we notice a change in my dad. He started 2 accept DH, n was d 1 who suggested dat we shld get married soon.
I guess, in every situation, it takes 2 to clap. Now, my dad thinks of DH highly, even thu DH will tell my dad off when my dad do things dat doesnt seem 2 make sense. N when I cant talk sense 2 my dad, I will always asked DH 2 go talk 2 him. N DH sometimes still cant stand d way my dad do things, but... I always remind him... we dont get 2 choose our parents. So we just have 2 accept their gd n bad... just like they accept us 4 who we r when they gave birth 2 us.
When I was dating my DH, my dad didnt approve of him too. Hence, whenever DH visits or there is a family gathering, my dad will ignore DH. DH will still greet him every time when he visits, but my dad will simply ignore him. I once asked DH why he still bothers calling him since my dad ignored him. His reply was dat he has done his part.
DH will think of gifts 2 buy 4 my dad when we travel. My reaction was always, why bother since my dad may not appreciate DH's thoughtfulness. But as years go by... we notice a change in my dad. He started 2 accept DH, n was d 1 who suggested dat we shld get married soon.
I guess, in every situation, it takes 2 to clap. Now, my dad thinks of DH highly, even thu DH will tell my dad off when my dad do things dat doesnt seem 2 make sense. N when I cant talk sense 2 my dad, I will always asked DH 2 go talk 2 him. N DH sometimes still cant stand d way my dad do things, but... I always remind him... we dont get 2 choose our parents. So we just have 2 accept their gd n bad... just like they accept us 4 who we r when they gave birth 2 us.
lovely0315
Active Member
How is ur bf looking at this? You going to marry and live with ur bf, not his parent right, so most impt is how ur bf think.. if he can’t accept a gal that do not have good relationship with his parent, then.... hmmm.....
If their son don earn much, they cannot expect u earn more and give them a lot...
And if they are still working but just pass their bill for ur hub to pay for it.. that’s really....
For me, my hub give angpau to his parent and I give to my parent..
Byw, you don visit them regularly right... so don think so much and unhappy with it..
