Avocado, my MIL would be most happy if/when my hubby ask her to join us for any activities. Then, they can do what "happy family" does.... because they (and my children) are family. I'm by product, remember?
FYI, my MIL not just drop by my house at every opportunity (she has the keys!), she also lurks near my block or at voideck! So much so that I honestly feels so "trapped" and like I'm being stalked! I once was talking to my neighbor at my door - she hovered and watched downstairs, but curiosity got the better of her and she actually came up to see who I am talking to, and what topic? Then she just stood there, as if she has joined in the conversation. So I just said, "bye-bye. hubby won't be home so soon. ou go home first, I'll ask him to call you later. i need to talk to (my neighbor)." Then my neighbor so smart. say "Bye, Auntie". She grumbled and move along. It was my neighbor that had noticed her hovering downstairs but didn't realise that's my MIL!! And people keep on telling me they "saw my MIL downstairs all the time".... I shudder. We "bumped" into her so much that I need to be mentally alert that she will appear from behind a car or tree or whatever...
But Avacado, Sometimes, I remind myself - don't say too much. The more I say, the more wrong. So I just keep quiet and think "OK. Pitiful old woman".
On Sunday (before 9am!), she came over and as usual my hubby still sleeping. And she say "oh, i'm leaving, I'm leaving" the moment she came through the door - why bother unlocking it and coming in to begin with??? Then, she marched purposefully upstairs into my bedroom. This is a super big deal and a definite NO for me! Spent 20 mins there talking by my bedside with my half asleep hubby until he woke up, stand up, and wanna go pee, my MIL will just stand at the door. Continue talk!
Of course, I gave a super black face and asked my children - why is it that your grandma said she's leaving, but she come into the house for so long? Why she go to my bedroom??? Later on, my hubby told me she was too excited, wanted to tell him that she's going to her sister's house to borrow a train set toy for my son! Auntie, that one so damn rich but always think of these cheapo thing to do for my kid. Never buy a single decent toy!
Of course, that is not enough for the day... at night called again and wanted my hubby's opinion on something - how about she come over NOW and get my hubby to read, blah blah blah... My hubby said, next weekend.... (repeated in many variation for about 10 times!!) before finally putting down the phone.
So, of course I cannot talk to the MIL! That's one of the things I hate - any answer she doesn't like, she will ask 10 times or more until maybe you give up and change your mind? Or, you said no... but behind your back, do it anyway? Like let my 2-year old play with chopsticks because "he likes it"... or tie up my daughter's cloth diaper using a long ribbon/string, wrap and wrap around her waist?
As for divorce - yes, it had ever crossed my mind, and I would let you know that at one point I even wondered if I became suicidal! So, I told my husband - don't underestimate my stress. I didn't sign up to be this big victim - and if there's ever a time that I think I need out of the marriage, it's because of the mother. So he tries to be more understanding, but often he feels trapped but this is more so because his mom complains...
