pixelpixel+ babybride,
kudos to u for being able to go thru it again in 2 years... ur son must be an absolute joy for you to want to do it again. before this episode, i've actually never had depression before and i had no idea it was such a deep dark hole to be in. I cried before trying to sleep every night (and failed every night) and cried again every morning coz the feeling of having to go thru the vomiting again is so daunting. Feeling like I was so alone in the misery because nobody could help me and i was just vomiting non stop and nothing could stop it. All kinds of food and drinks rejected. I got so sick and tired of trying.
Baby bride, i think ur case is even more jia lut than me. at one point i vomited until the blood vessels in my eyes burst and i was walking around looking like a crazy woman. Everyone around me told me they have never seen a pregnant woman so miserable and upset and angry. Babybride, losing 8 kgs is alot of weight. I lost 3 kgs and it was already so bad for me. My insomnia was so so bad, and i couldn't sleep and kept waking up to vomit. I can really imagine what kind of hell u are going through. For people like us there's really nothing we don't vomit. I puked 10 over different kinds of biscuits because everytime someone suggest something hubby will rush and buy for me, but it will still end up in the toiletbowl. I can't drink milk too, will make me very bloated and sick.
The worst thing is when my parents or in laws buy me all kinds of funny tonics and don't understand when i tell them i really cannot stomach anything. Luckily i don't stay with them so i can just take 1 mouth and throw the rest away.
Babybride.. let's jia you together... pixelpixel has gone thru it so she is like a mirror for us... I know nothing can help us physically but emotionally, all the mommies here really gave me alot of help and support. Some of the mothers on the April MTB thread are also going through/ have gone through very tough MS days... and I'm really thankful to them for providing a listening ear and letting us complain and rant here... I was really living in a very deep dark hole a few weeks ago and they kept comforting me everyday.
Oh, and i can tell u, no matter how many weeks we have vomited, we will NEVER EVER get used to it. Thinking about vomiting and going back to those horrible days still bring tears to my eyes. There were so many times that i will finish vomiting then start crying in the toilet and then continue vomiting somemore. I feel so resentful towards the baby that when i went for my ultra sounds i was not happy at all. Deep down inside i dont know if i felt happy that the baby is ok. On some days i felt that if something goes wrong and the baby is gone, my pain will be gone too. I know it's very bad to think that but i couldn't help it.
Do come here and talk to the other mommies, they are really nice and supportive and it will help us feel better. *HUGS* you are going through a very very tough time and it's ok for you to feel upset.
