(2009/09) September 2009 MTBs

flower4> my dad all along is wking, we got to take turns to take leave to take care of him wor. so cannot be forever someone take turn to take leave leh

erms. maybe i shuld try to bring forward my boy's dreamfeed to 12am n keep to 150ml den slowly increase his day feed, so he need lesser at nite

enxuan> haha. how i wish i can wk on a part time flexi basis too. but cannot wor. to me my job is impt. provides for me financially n oso helps in de household. not say hubby's pay not enugh, but we simply have too many commitments which requires money. n to me it's good to have more den less. save up for rainy days, cos we'll never know wat will happen in the future.

if either one of us lose our job, at least we can still tahan on de other person's pay to survive n fund for our house, car, baby, etc

so i cannot juz take leave everytime my boy falls sick. unless i know tat day i have no meetings arranged on tat day, i can try to schedule the work away. if i have meetings, i try to go, unless i can arrange for another colleague to take over my wk. but i try as little as possible to opt for this. cos if everything can be handed over, i guess i wun be needed in the office as well
 


enxuan,

What do you view an educated woman today who wish is to stay home and care for the home?
> Why care about what people said? To be SAHM is not an easy job, as you said, you need to read up a lot, and to practise it, and certainly an educated woman will do a better job than a not-so-educated one. Education provides us the chance to learn how to be a better person and how to live our life to full, not necessary to use the degree to earn a living.

What does it mean to be a good wife, mother and daughter in law?
> My definition:
Good wife/husband = share the same view and value with your spouse, understand your spouse, ready to compromise, and always be there for him/her.
Good mother = do her best to provide to her children so that the children felt being loved and cared for, and to grow up happily and healthily.
Good DIL = no comment, cos I am not :)
 
Linda
reply u already. More details of the IFC can be found at MYCS website.

Michelle
i also send my boy in if he only have block nose internally...
that means no sneezing, running nose...

understand that job is impt...

for me i can afford to take cos...my job is strictly deskbound...job can't bring home cos using special software at office only...

and i have already inform my sup that i will need to take NPL when my kid is sick...
he is ok with it...
cos during ML they also cope well but more tiring...now i come back only to lighten their burden...

flower4,
not that i am lucky...it's just the teachers and parents work together...
i think among the parents there , there are some who are in teaching profession
so they understand the importance of keeping the bbs at home when they are sick lor...
 
<font color="ff6000">flower4</font>

me! me! i stay at redhill. u? telok blangah? based on my research done 1.5mths back, now the area here not much vacancy for ifc. tiong bahru got one but can only take care till sep. alexandra got 1, near hort park. must have car if not will die. quick nice which we shortlisted a bit ex though. now i think its abt $800+ after subsidy. din go in the end cos of location. harbourfront got cherie hearts, cheaper but full air con lor...

<font color="ff6000">lina</font>

u wan buy ergo? bp got sell. wan me help u buy anot? u coming back liao ah?


*phew* mia so long cos juz ended my bp! now can relak relak a bit!
 
Sept babies playgroup #2

Date: 28th May, Friday Vesak Day
Time: 1pm
Location: near Buangkok MRT
There is free parking at neighboring blk.
Food: If you guys wanna bring food then bring lor. Else I'll prepare drink and some snack.

Attendees...
Rach (Will try to make it) - 1 adult?
Kiki - 1 adult?
Shirley - 1 adult?
Melissa - 1 adult?
Sheryn - 1 adult
Bernice - 1 adult
princessxiaomei - 1 Adult
Enxuan - 1 adult
waiwai (tentative) - 1 adult
 
my boy refuses to latch on since last month. dunno should feel happy or sad...

now my supply dips so much that i opened up the first tin of FM yesterday, and he finished his first bottle of FM without fuss... no more total breastfeeding liao... sobz
sad.gif
sad.gif
 
I want to pour my woes!

Last Saturday I had a slight blockage and I ignore. Then on Sunday night, I suddenly had high fever. Went to see doc on Monday. Now my supply drop drastically! Not even on the blocked breast but both! Now so sad!
 
enxuan> hehe. anyway i think i din answer ur question on educated woman who wish to stay at hm. i think u r great. hehe. cos it's something i cant do. sahm is not easy. much more wk to do den us ftwm =p

cloudme> good lo. when i was on maternity, de wk juz pile n await me when i m back

waiwai> y refuse to latch?? i will force him to latch when i m not wking. cos it's so troublesome to pump. juz stuff his face there. haha =x

prettymums> me worse. now i got a lump clot at my left boobs. trying very very hard to clear it. if still cant clear i will go c gynae n get medicine liaos. it's so hard n will not go off i tot i got a tumour -_-" it's still there but slightly smaller liaos. wonder wat isit seriously
 
Sept babies playgroup #2

Date: 28th May, Friday Vesak Day
Time: 1pm
Location: near Buangkok MRT
There is free parking at neighboring blk.
Food: If you guys wanna bring food then bring lor. Else I'll prepare drink and some snack.

Attendees...
Rach (Will try to make it) - 1 adult?
Kiki - 1 adult
Shirley - 1 adult?
Melissa - 1 adult?
Sheryn - 1 adult
Bernice - 1 adult
princessxiaomei - 1 Adult
Enxuan - 1 adult
waiwai (tentative) - 1 adult
 
Hi enxuan,
Thanks for sharing. My hubby is a regular wi the army too and his working hours are long. He now in overseas training for a month. I'm a ftwm and I took 1 week leave last week to care for my boy. I tell u , being a sahm is really not easy . For me, it's even more tough than working
sad.gif
 
Cookies,
why ifc near hortpark need car to go in? no nearer bus stop ah? i think u my saviour.. can let me noe the centre name?

my current one cost 850 after subsidy too..

i can wait the queue..
 
Hi mummies, count me in!

Sept babies playgroup #2

Date: 28th May, Friday Vesak Day
Time: 1pm
Location: near Buangkok MRT
There is free parking at neighboring blk.
Food: If you guys wanna bring food then bring lor. Else I'll prepare drink and some snack.

Attendees...
Rach (Will try to make it) - 1 adult?
Kiki - 1 adult
Shirley - 1 adult?
Melissa - 1 adult?
Sheryn - 1 adult
Bernice - 1 adult
princessxiaomei - 1 Adult
Enxuan - 1 adult
waiwai (tentative) - 1 adult
joopz - 1 adult
 
<font color="ff6000">floralim</font>

haha! its carpe diem. u call the centre and look for esther, she is nice, can show u ard. they got promo now. i think its 15% off till the child enters childcare. usual price is $1175 i think. its not at hort park, near it only. its the white hse all the way inside... no car very jia lat! i wanted to psycho myself its ok cos i like the place but hor in the end i gave up! cos the route to walk to the bus stop is quite long, rain worse! our car is a opc so hubs can send us in the morning but i have to go home myself cos he needs to rush back home by 7. then at night muz wait for fil to fetch cos our car can only come out at 7pm and we dun want to convert the car just to ferry baby cos we hv no use in the day. tt's y we dropped the idea of gg there though we really liked the place! where u stay?
 
pretttymums> oh. u went tmc ah? sian. me cannot take leave these few days leh. think tml after wk i go get some medication from my gynae first n c if it helps

waiwai> hais. now my boy every nite pushes away de bottle. only wanna take my breast. stressed

floralim> i know which one cookiezz referring to. there is one near hortpark, but is a distance from the busstop. abit inconvenient if u need to carry baby n walk the distance
 
<font color="119911">Enxuan and Kam</font>

What do you view an educated woman today who wish is to stay home and care for the home?
> I agree with Kam, to be SAHM is not an easy job, there are so many instance when I wanna just give up and go back to work. It's a thankless job. Hubby doesn't really understand and like your hubby, thinks it's easy to just stay home to look after bb. I used to work in design firm, long hours, difficult clients, tight deadlines, and got to keep coming up with new design and concepts BUT i feel that it's still easier than looking after bb on my own. Plus the uncertainties that I'll have difficulties going back to workforce if I stop work for too long. Our hubbies should really should appreciate us for 'sacrificing' to be SAHM.

It's good that your hubby actually thinks further ahead and worries about what happens when he retires. IMHO, you should give some tots to his concern too.

What does it mean to be a good wife, mother and daughter in law?
Hhaha feels like cursing when I'm thinking of an answer to this. I'm putting in so much effort to the first 2 position (3rd is irrelevant to me cos my MIL passed away, FIL doesn't give a damn) but feel so taken for granted, esp by my husband. Haiz..

PS: It's funny how you describe "MIL is <font color="ff0000">stationed</font> at my house.." LOL


Feeling very low today. HUbby has been coming home late and I've to face Ian from morning till nite. Esp nite time, Ian gets very clingy and if hubby returns late, there's no way for me to have dinner or bathe. plus feed and bathe Ian. He gets cranky and my temper goes haywired. So tired to be doing this everyday.
 
<font color="ff0000"><font size="+2">Sept babies playgroup #2</font></font>

Date: 28th May, Friday Vesak Day
Time: 1pm
Location: near Buangkok MRT
There is free parking at neighboring blk.
Food: If you guys wanna bring food then bring lor. Else I'll prepare drink and some snack.

Attendees...
Rach (Will try to make it) - 1 adult?
Kiki - 1 adult
Shirley - 1 adult?
Melissa - 1 adult?
Sheryn - 1 adult
Bernice - 1 adult
princessxiaomei - 1 Adult
Enxuan - 1 adult
waiwai (tentative) - 1 adult
kaira - 1 adult
Ling - 1 adult
joopz - 1 adult

YEAH! So many babies are coming... this is going to be fun
happy.gif
 
Kam, Itsy, Enxuan &amp; Michelle,
Yea being a SAHM is not an easy job for sure, definitely not like our mothers' time. Sometime I hope to be able to work &amp; take care of my baby at the same time, but unfortunately its not really an option now. But I reckon its only for a FEW years, till they are in primary school then dive into the workforce again? Its gonna be hard but at least the kids will have a great childhood growing up with lots of fun memories with mummies.

Cookiezzz,
Hello, ya you MIA. Not going back till September for Amber's birthday Insh'Allah... Tried it the other day &amp; love it but hubby doesn't like it. Purely because it cant be front facing. Amber only allow my hubby to carry if she can still "Keep an eye on me". He reckons if we use Ergo, Amber wont allow him to carry, will be just me. I dont really like babybjorn and Amber's thunder's thigh look quite uncomfy.
 
lina> cos i cant bear to give up wat i m getting at wk now, n den stay at hm. when i come back to society to work again in a few yrs time, i dun think i'll be able to get wat i m getting again. cos technology n skills will be diff. it's very different in the IT industry. if i stop working, i will be deemed to be "inexperience" with "irrelevant" skills in de future

so i take the selfish route n choose to hold on to my career. but this way i can give my boy the best i can afford n still spend quality time with him after office hr n wkends. at least this job they understand i have family commitments n will not ot. but of cos once in a while is still ok for me
 
Michelle,
me too cant give up my work, currently i give up my studies already...

i keep telling my wise its really not wise to give up jobs. if u look at long run, with carreer exposure &amp; etc, we will not out of society and in the result its oso benefit our kids as mummy are more upto date :p...
 
<font size="+2"><font color="ff0000">Sept babies playgroup #2
</font></font>

Date: 28th May, Friday Vesak Day
Time: 1pm
Location: near Buangkok MRT
There is free parking at neighboring blk.
Food: If you guys wanna bring food then bring lor. Else I'll prepare drink and some snack.

Attendees...
Rach (Will try to make it) - 1 adult?
Kiki - 1 adult
Shirley - 1 adult?
Melissa - 1 adult (hubby can only confirm nearer to date)
Sheryn - 1 adult
Bernice - 1 adult
princessxiaomei - 1 Adult
Enxuan - 1 adult
waiwai (tentative) - 1 adult
kaira - 1 adult
Ling - 1 adult
joopz - 1 adult
 
<font color="0000ff">enxuan / itsy / lina / michelle / flower4,</font>
I am not a career minded woman. Family is always the most important. But I am still not opting to be a SAHM. Simply because I know myself too well. If I were to be a SAHM, I could already imagine myself screaming and shouting the whole day, and my kids would probably won't feel my love for them, and hubby would be pissed with me becoming a terrible person and the constant nagging/complaining. To be a FTWM, and get helps to take care of the kids during the day, is, somehow, making me a better mum. I am so patient with them, very seldom loss my temper on them. I must say that I am lucky that both my boy's infant/child care is a good find, and that my girl's nanny is another good find. So I can leave my kids with them without having to worry at all. I never feel that I miss out anything, I follow their growth/development closely, I spend as much time with them, we love them and they love us :) Of course, I admit, at times, I strongly feel that I could spend more time with them, but for that, I can always take leave, can't I? And to that, I must also thankful that I have a great job to be with. Maybe, a few years down to the road, when my kids are older, and when they no longer need my screaming and shouting and nagging, then I would consider to become a SAHM.

Either a SAHM or FTWM, every mum is a great mum. Trust yourself. Believe in yourself. Give your best!
 
kam> hehe. yeah. as long as we are involved in our child's development, i guess it does not matter whether we are a sahm or a ftwm. we're all great
happy.gif
 
Hi all,

I defintely agree that SAHM is not an easy job as I have taken care of my boy before during his 2nd mth till 4th mth and during alternate week after work. And soon, I will be one too. Nobody can help me take care of him and he has been falling sick ever since he went to infant care. Even if not sick,he will be v tired and his eyes will be swollen by the end of the day when I fetch him home. Heartache ah! Guess he did not sleep well there and may cry a lot too since he is quite an attention seeker. I can imagine how busy I get when I take care of him myself. HOpefully I am able to establish some routine for him haha. Wish me all the best!

Before making decision to quit, I am very stress. Now feel more relaxed but still will worry about not able to get a job in 1 to 2 years time. Hubby seems to understand taking care of my boy alone is not an easy job. He said" If you feel stress taking care of him must let me know in future". Haha, hope he will really understand.

But I think ever since my boy is born, I started to hiam my hubby a lot i.e not helping to do tis and tat when I am busy wif my boy's stuff. Actually, I know he is actually a lot better than other guys out there but whenever I am busy with my boy and see him playing games or see lot of chores undone, I cannot help feeling angry with him haha. Trying my best not to be like that but quite difficult. Any good advice?
 
Corrine
I know how you feel, and I don't think your hubby feels any better bout this as well.

I guess at times I'm like your hubby. It's not so much that we don't want to help, but sometimes we don't know what you (referring to the mothers in general) want/expect. I'm quite sure if you give specific tasks to be done, it'll be better.

That's my take la. But best thing to do is to have a talk with him and see how best to appreciate each other.

Cheers!
 
itsy
I'll like to join the playgroup too.. but i can only confirm nearer the date..ur place should be within walking distance from mine... :p

gerald
where are u going?? we'r thinking of going somewhere too but not decided where
 
Hi Gerald,

Yes it works better to assign specific tasks. But sometimes it is quite tiring to keep call him do tings haha. I thought should have initiative. E.g. like when see bb's laundry full, auto take and wash. Maybe guys wun be so auto with bb's stuff
happy.gif
 
Corinne
I guess guys are largely non-auto mode.. my hubby also same lah. There could be tons of houseworks to be done but if i don't specifically tell him wat to do, he'll be playing games in the living room or study room. I too get angry when i'm busy with my baby and yet he's so free to do his own leisure stuff. Then i will end up telling him not so nicely to do housework and he may not like to be instructed! that kinda spoil the mood at home too. So now i have learnt to control my tone and tell him wat i would like him to do as i have drafted out some sort of routine. It kinda works and i truly hopes this will continue without me having to shout at him. Mayb you can set some routine as well?? i think it helps
 
Hi everyone

Just to share with you gals. When we first got married, I always quarrel with my husband over housework. Cos everytime I ask him to do it, he will tell me tomorrow. But this "tomorrow" never come!!! I think generally guys are like that... they can stand dirt but we can't. In the end, we will have to do it on our own... so I guess we will have to "challenge" who can stand dirt... wahahahaha
 
Yes I try to control my tone and tell him. He will say "wait and wait" too. And he will tend to forget haha. Then if repeat too many times, he say I nag haha. I don't shout or order him. Always ask him nicely but that's tiring too haha. Cos I thought it should be our responsibilities not mine alone.
 
I'm not sure about household chores la. But only baby matters. I don't like to take initiative cos I'm not sure what my wife would like? Only certain issues I'll just go ahead with, but generally, I'll wait for wife to instruct.

It's tough for guys also. We dun want to do something, and then do it wrong. It u want initiative, then prepare for it to be done according to what we guys think is best. But I can foresee that you'll rather do it yourself at the end, then leave us to do it our way.

It's the same with parents. You let them take initiative, they'll just do whatever they want. So specific instructions, though somewhat tiring, may be the best solution.

Talk it through, and see if he has the general idea? But if hubby does it auto and it's not the way you want it, go easy also la
 
Hi Gerald,

Its so nice to have a guy point of view here. My hubby free from houshold chores since we engage a maid to help out after the birth of our baby. No need to hear me nag at him as much as before .
 
<font color="119911">Men and housework</font>
Seeing these messages actually made me feel better. Now I know I'm not the only one with such a husband. He'll auto do the laundry and now i know I should appreciate and not nag at him for using so much softener (cos he likes the smell, but bloody I'm the one who got to keep buying softener!). I know I have to take it easy when he says he'll do the dishes only after he bathed, watched TV and read the papers. I have to chill when he walks round the house and not notice the dirty floor cos now I know men have higher dirt tolerance. In summary, either I leave him to do it his way OTOT or I do it myself. I'm sick of nagging and telling him what to do. Sigh..
 
Just remember...

"We come to love not by finding a perfect person.... but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly!" - Sam Keen

Stay happy y'all!
 
Aiyah..

My husband is like my second child. He don't demand but can tell he likes it when I cook nice dishes for him, talk and joke with him, play with him, watch tv with him, entertain him... keke..

Like Kaira, we also engaged a maid to do the cleaning because my hubby sort of anticipate that I will nag alot and he don't want to do housework at all!

About caregivers

After hearing everyone air their views here, I felt better. Knowing I'm not the only one in confusion and mentally felt so torned apart. Sometimes, I wonder,life is like a whole balancing act. We need to balance our own career/acheivements/social life/ family/as a wife/ children/ future etc... Once an area loses 'balance', the other areas follow suit.

For myself, ever since Eliza was borned, I only have an aim. To start a business myself so that I can have better control over my schedule and yet, engage myself in something I enjoy doing.

I really 'peifu' all mums here. I feel that my situation is considered good liao, got so many helpers and have flexi-working hours to accommodate too. You all are my inspiration!
 
SEPT PLAYGROUP AT ITSY'S

Just remembered, 28 MAY is my hubby's birthday. I don't think I can join you all as we are having a celebration at home too.

Have fun you all! Take more pictures to share, ya?
 
<font color="dc143c">SAHM/FTWM??</font>
hahaha..i think i'm the only one with a confused identity... supposed to be FTWM, but living/behaving like a SAHM...

Well.. now thinking hard..should i just tender and be a SAHBM instead... with the amount of sprees/BPs i'm doing, definitely not earning as much as my FT job..but.. having a koala bear 24/7 for the past 8 mos, i cant bear to leave her at home with my mum, no $$ to put IFC... so...i'm still stuck doing what i'm doing...

With our new house coming, also quite difficult financially to service HDB loan, renov loan, installments etc all with cash...
Me being insurance = self employed
HB ID = self employed...
we both dun contribute to CPF at all...
So we're talking about just $2k a month on LOANS/DEBTS...

Minus the living expenses etc..... really dilemma... work or not work..then Rayanne how??
sad.gif
 
I have formula milk and mum's milk to sell. I'm not using them as my baby is already 1 years old and I don't drink the mum's milk.

I have:
1) Mamil Mama 900g (2 tins)
2) Similac 400g (1 tin)
3) Nan Pro 2 400g (1 tin)

Sms me Abigail at 90086345.
 
Michelle,
Yea, it’s a risk one takes to quit the job. If I am still in SIN, I will probably be juggling with work +family + bb.

Don't say selfish !!The decision you made is TOTALLY NOT SELFISH mate.. Being a working mum is equally if not harder than being a SAHM. Anyway, I believe all mums make the best decisions for the sake of their child.

Corinne,
Hey I am with you. My hubby is really supportive but sometime like what you said ~ when chores are not done, bb nappy needs to be change then he is there reading newspaper. I cant help it but be angry. Of course I could have highlight to him the things that need to be done. ( coz he doesn’t know the things that need to be done). Kind of expecting him to AUTO or ALERT to know what needs to be done without me saying it.

Wow seems like I am not alone.

Kaira,
That’s the advise my SIL gave me. Get a house maid then it minimise your expectations of your hubby &amp; less fights &amp; less nags etc.
 
<font color="ff0000"><font size="+2">Sept babies playgroup #2</font></font>


Date: 28th May, Friday Vesak Day
Time: 1pm
Location: near Buangkok MRT
There is free parking at neighboring blk.
Food: If you guys wanna bring food then bring lor. Else I'll prepare drink and some snack.

Attendees...
Rach (Will try to make it) - 1 adult?
Kiki - 1 adult
Shirley - 1 adult?
Melissa - 1 adult (hubby can only confirm nearer to date)
Sheryn - 1 adult
Bernice - 1 adult
princessxiaomei - 1 Adult
waiwai (tentative) - 1 adult
kaira - 1 adult
Ling - 1 adult
joopz - 1 adult
milkyway - TBC
 
Enxuan,
Looking forward to seeing u since bth our hubbies are from SAF. Guess next time bah. Did u join the SAF Officer Wives Club ? From your previous post, i feel u are a good wife and mother, always thinking about their position.

I always like to brainwash my hubby , so result in less conflict.
 
Just to share....

hubby will help to change nappy/bathe Ian.. but hor... it means after that, I have to throw the nappy into bin, pick up clothings on floor, hang out the towel..etc etc... HAhaha sometimes I think, what if he's the one staying home to look after bb? What will the house be like? How will Ian grow up to be?
 


Yes Lina, think most of us shared the same feelings. Of course I appreciate my hubby's help but sometimes can't help feeling upset with him haha. Sounds like split personality.
But overall we still support each other alot
happy.gif
 
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