SingaporeMotherhood | Parenting
March 2015
SM Blogmum: 6 Ways to Reconnect with your Spouse
Few, if any, could have been left untouched by how devoted and dedicated Mr Lee Kuan Yew, Singapore’s first prime minister, was to his wife of 63 years. Madam Kwa Geok Choo was the love of Mr Lee’s life. Despite his hectic schedule and her career commitments, they remained close, best friends and soul mates to the end.
With our crazy-hectic schedules these days, not to mention the endless responsibilities that come with child-rearing, who has time to rekindle the marriage sparks?
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Most days, real heart-to-heart connection is missing and couples sink into survival mode – where just being able to crawl into bed (in one piece) by midnight is considered a “good” day.
So what can we do, given our limited time, energy, and resources, to put the passion and fun back into our marriage? Here are six ideas that will hopefully get you rolling:
1. Go on a couple retreat
It could be a day retreat at the spa, a short staycation, or even an outdoor camping trip! Whatever kind of retreat you decide on, the time spent together, just you and your spouse, will be priceless. Just for a night (or two), leave the kids behind and focus on the two of you.
2. Massage treat DIY
No time to spa? Pick up some massage techniques by watching YouTube videos, and let your spouse be your guinea pig. After that, wrap the session up with a facial mask (the kind that you can just slip onto the face) and hold hands for the next ten to 15 minutes while the mask does its work. You’ll be surprised how this simple “homemade” therapy can also create the space and ambience for deep, honest sharing. (Oh, and remember to put on some ambient music and light some candles around the room!)
3. Ask “how can I love you today?”
It may be a simple question, but it’s a helpful and powerful one. Even though you may think you know your spouse inside out, it doesn’t always mean that you understand how he / she wants to be loved. So ask, and the answer shall be given. Of course, be open to suggestions, and carry requests out to the best of your ability.
4. Kiss and hug often
Hugging and kissing our children comes so naturally to us, but we often forget to hug and kiss our spouses. Showing physical affection in front of our kids not only serves to signal to them that the relationship between mum and dad is important (yes, the world doesn’t revolve around the little ones all the time), it also helps to promote feelings of security. So go ahead, give your man / woman a big bear hug when they walk through the front door afar work. Help your spouse look forward to coming home each day.
5. Check out new cafes and restaurants together
All Singaporeans love and enjoy their food. If you and your spouse like to explore new cafes or restaurants, this is a great way to create time and space for each other while pampering your tastebuds. Check out the latest newly-opened cafes online, discuss which ones you’d like to visit, and make plans for that couple date together.
6. Exercise together
After all that eating, it’s good to make time to exercise and get fit together. Be it simply getting your running shoes on and going for a jog at the nearby park, or doing something new and exciting like stand-up paddling or windsurfing, doing activities together is a great way to discover new things about each other.
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