! * * * * * * * * * *! What Can I Do To Stop Vietnam Mistress Entering Singapore?

[jenbabe]

blur, why?

 

[blueblur]

u giving him a chance or waiting for the right time? how long u are separated

 

[jenbabe]

50-50.. undecisive... right time for ???

 

[blueblur]

ask wan to know. as my husband also betray me. just wan to know whether should i forgive him or let go. if u don't mind, just getting some ideas here.

 

[jenbabe]

i see.. thought u knew me too.. so sorry i got a scare.

well at first i was in great pain for the past half year and yes i have been praying a lot and can feel peace n restoration flowing into my heart and release all the pain, wounds, bitterness and anger out of the heart.

from what i read in the book "the power of prayers on marriage",

1)forgive and move on
2)forgive and let go.

at first of all, i am a christian (no offence here), and i thought divorce is a sin before God's eye but later on i realised divorce can be given since the spouse heart is sort of hardened already and can be lying thru their teeth and what can i do? can i tell him to f@@# off???? no rite, so of cos i still love my husband but he has a different idea and sadly he still wants to stay on with the other woman despites my pleas..
stay tog with her for over 2 years....

so i chose to forgive him and forget abt everything. separated for 2.5 mths.

blur , i dun know much abt your situation.. perhaps u can follow your heart and think what u want to do? forgiveness is the hardest thing to do of cos, and u need time to overcome your griefs and denial before u can be ready to forgive your spouse n the end is something personal u want to decide for your marriage.

 

[september]

ladies,

I got ROM in May 2005 and our customary was in Oct 2006. Then In May 2006 a mth before our photoshoot, he confess his affair with a local gal (very young gal in her early twenties) Things was shitty but I choose to go ahead with our wedding and stay with him.

Then after delivering my boy in 2008, I discovered he chat online with gals, indecent chat ok. But still I stay on with the marriage after he begged.

For me i went to thru hell...and I really mean hell. It was only recently, think sometime last yr then I was really ok lor.

Cindy, how are u? I can understand how u feel although it will nv be totally.

ladies, even though I hv "recovered" but like mended broken mirror, crack is alway there.

I do not mind listening to you all if you all need a listening ears ya.

u can email me at [email protected]

 

[ynot]

Hope what my contribute can help,

My friend who file for a divorce recently, she ask the lawyer to write the one term & condition that is the house has to fully belong to her not even need to return the CPF which the husband has been contribute (this very important)if she sell the house.

 

[nelle_nelle]

Yes, this is a good one. I had a friend who ask for the entire house plus another property plus a new car plus a lump sum payment. And she succeeded.

Classic...

 

[carolineteo]

Hi Everyone,

Last year around Feb/March i realised my husband had been having sex with 2 Vietnamese girls. I have kicked him out of the house but my 2 daughters cry everyday and couldnt concentrate in School. After 2 months, i have signed an agreement with him and he agreed he wont do it again.

Recently i spot checked on him, he is still with 1 of the vietnamese girl and every other night he will find excuses to go out for long hours.

I am very tired with our relationship and i wanted a divorce. But there are so many external factors that pull me back. Firstly, he has very good relationship with my family members and most importantly he is a handyman at home. So my family members disapproved my decision. Secondly my daughter is taking O level this year and i am afraid this will affect her result. Thirdly I have just moved into an enblock. If i would divorce, i cannot buy over that flat, HDB will buy over at cost.

I have spoke with him twice and he has promised to change but never. Most of the time, he will see her in the afternoon so he thought that i wont find out.

I am lost now. Do i have to tolerate for 5 years till i can get my flat transferred? Or Should i wait for my girl to finish her O'level? Please give me your view. Thanks

 

[tinklestar]

You can wait til she finishes old levels or else just file for separation. Personally, I think if the relationship is bad, staying together might just make things worse. Unless you are very sure both can maintain a happy family relationship and mend the relationship in front your kids, it's pointless to stay together.children these days are too smart to be fooled.Do what you think is best for the children and yourself. I believe most mothers are willing to sacrifice for the children.

Main thing is, reassure your gals that you love them and that whatever is happening has nothing to do with them..

Children suffers the most.

 

[carolineteo]

Hi Tinklestar

Thank you for your response.

I do know that my children will suffer, if not i would divorce with him since last year. I can't imagine i got to torture myself for another 5 years. Anyone know whether can i appeal to HDB for early transferred?

May i also check if we signed separation letter without a lawyer, is it considered separated? How about after separation we still stay under one roof?

 

[tinklestar]

You can write to hdb and appeal. They can be quite flexible about some things that i knew through a friend.The only problem will be if you decide to buy another flat from hdb directly. I suggest you write to or call hdb and ask.

You can file for immediate divorce with proof of adultery. Might be interested in the following taken from Singapore law society website

 
 
Judicial Separation
 
If you wish to live apart permanently but do not wish to commence divorce proceedings for various reasons, then you may make an application to Court for judicial separation.
 
A Judgment of Judicial Separation granted by the Court does not allow you to remarry. Your marriage has not been dissolved. However, you would be entitled to similar claims as in a divorce, e.g. custody, matrimonial assets.
 
 
Nullity
 
You may apply to Court to annul your marriage in some circumstances, for example:
if at the time of your marriage, your 'spouse' is already married;
your "spouse" has refused to consummate the marriage;
the marriage has not been consummated because you or your 'spouse' is incapable of consummating it;
if at the time of your marriage, your 'spouse' is suffering from venereal disease and you are not aware of this.
 
The above grounds are not exhaustive. Please consult a lawyer if you require further information.
 
 
Deed of Separation
 
You may wish to be separated from your spouse for a period of time before you decide on a divorce. In this case, you may sign an agreement called a Deed of Separation which will set out the terms and conditions governing the relationship between you and your spouse during the period of separation. It would be advisable for you to consult a lawyer to draft the Deed of Separation.
 
You may decide to reconcile with your spouse after signing the Deed of Separation. Alternatively, you may proceed with your divorce after 3 years (if your spouse consents) or 4 years (if your spouse does not of separation).
 
 
Legal Aid Bureau
 
If you cannot afford a lawyer, you may apply to the government-run Legal Aid Bureau for assistance. The Legal Aid Bureau is situated at:
 
45 Maxwell Road #08-12
The URA Centre, East Wing
Singapore 069118
Tel: (65) 1800 325 1424 (toll-free)
Fax: (65) 63251402
Website: www.lab.gov.sg
 
Please note that you have to pass a Means Test to qualify for assistance from the Legal Aid Bureau. The Means Test is a procedure to ascertain your financial position.

But, pls do consider carefully as children are involved.
Website: http://www.lawsociety.org.sg

 

[lady165]

I always believe that a woman should be independent and not to rely too much on husband. I never trust man, not even my husband because I'm afraid that if I'm too dependent on him, if one day he left me for another woman, I will not able to take it. He always said he won't but to me is just that he has not met one yet.
When man is rich, they will start to stray and their ego will start to act macho, so I always believe that cannot let man be too rich.
Be strong ladies, without men we can still survive, anyway third party will not always be young n exciting, soon the man will get tired and look for another one.