Support group - Miscarriages

[Aneres]

Hi all,

Just found out yesterday during checkup @ 9weeks no heartbeat found. The last checkup @ 7 weeks, my Gynae saw some fetal heart activity but couldn't pick up any sounds. He said it looked like I was only 5 weeks going by the size of my sac and fetal pole measurement so my dates could be way off. but he was sure he saw fetal heart activity. Yet now he is telling me it is a blighted ovum??

I had a blighted ovum case in apr 2012, miscarried naturally @ 8 weeks, got pregnant after 9 months of trying and delivered a healthy gal in Oct 2013, got pregnant (unplanned) again a year later but lost the baby in nov 2014 @ 6 weeks. Started spotting, went in to doc and saw strong heartbeat. Doc said could be threatened abortion so gave me a jab and ordered bed rest. But I miscarried 12hrs later naturally. They didn't think I needed tests since it was only my 2nd time and I had a healthy baby before. So I took some time off and decided to try again this year.

Sadly, this will be my 3rd M/c. I'm turning 36 and starting to worry if there's something wrong with me. Doc asked me to go in for D&C next week to prevent infection and he will send in for pathology tests to see wat went wrong. I would like to get a 2nd opinion though I know my hopes aren't high. Any recommendations for good gynaes who specializes in complicated pregnancies?

 

[sunnyearth]

Hi ladies..

I have went for D& C for the 1st lost.. and now I lost it again and wish to have natural miscarriage this time. I have bad backache after gyane told me there is no heartbeat. I thought that I will have discharge soon. But waited for 1 month, the backache has gone and still no discharge.

I even went to TCM to ask for herbals to let it discharge soon. Still no outcome.

I told my gyane that I wish to wait to have natural miscarriage. As long as I dun have any inter course with my hubby. There will not any infections while waiting for natural miscarriage.

I am very confused now. Should I wait? Or should I go for D&C again?

I need some advises.. thanks.

 

[redvel]

Hi ladies..

I have went for D& C for the 1st lost.. and now I lost it again and wish to have natural miscarriage this time. I have bad backache after gyane told me there is no heartbeat. I thought that I will have discharge soon. But waited for 1 month, the backache has gone and still no discharge.

I even went to TCM to ask for herbals to let it discharge soon. Still no outcome.

I told my gyane that I wish to wait to have natural miscarriage. As long as I dun have any inter course with my hubby. There will not any infections while waiting for natural miscarriage.

I am very confused now. Should I wait? Or should I go for D&C again?

I need some advises.. thanks.

Sorry to hear on your repeated episodes.

Pardon me as I've not heard before that so long no intercourse, there'll be absolute no infection. I always thought it could still happen but not sure what's the timeline. How many weeks are you? Maybe you're still very early stage.

I feel so long you trust your doc, you can continue to wait. But if waiting is no longer comfortable emotionally, I feel you may open yourself to the option on d&c, and have a closure somehow. I think this is a very personal choice. Discuss with your hubby.

To share, my first mc my bb was already 13weeks. I was given a timeline to do d&c (natural mc is out since bb was already quite big). But I made the decision to let go what's not growing anymore so i asked for the d&c to be scheduled the next day.

2nd mc was a natural but it was relatively fast. If it didn't happen soon enough, I likely will ask for d&c because I personally prefer a quick closure.

 

[diddledum]

my heart is broken. just had mc last night at 5 weeks. Bleeding and doc can't find anything from u/s so diagnosed as mc. All my preg symptoms are gone, no more sore boobs nor hard tummy. I feel so hollow and so incompetent.

 

[LadyP]

I went from asking questions about acid reflux and confinement nannies to landing here. This is my third mc. My 14 week old girl slipped out of me this morning just like my first one did. No pain, no contractions n I even had a cerclage stitch done for this time. I think my uterus is really very prone to pushing out babies cos both times it happened in the same week (the second miscarriage was a blighted ovum). My husband n I hv decided not to try again because I went on full bed rest, took very painful progesterone jabs weekly and took lots of duphaston. If it's a structural problem, it's not worth losing another perfectly formed baby for. She had low risk for trisomy and her limbs etc were all formed perfectly.

 

[jube13]

So so sorry to hear about this. Please take time to grieve and be gentle on yourself. Don't make any decision in your time of grieving yet and don't give up. There are still many alternatives to holding your rainbow baby.
1) Consider TCM to help with your womb/uterus condition and try again when you are ready
2) Consider surrogacy via ivf. I know they have this arrangement in Malaysia.
3) find a doctor who has extensive experience with patients like your case and he can manage your pregnancy in the future.
I had a 2nd trimester loss last month and it was extremely painful the first two weeks but I am feeling much better now and the dark clouds are lifting day by day from me. Take baby steps and time will heal. Hugs

 

[diddledum]

I went from asking questions about acid reflux and confinement nannies to landing here. This is my third mc. My 14 week old girl slipped out of me this morning just like my first one did. No pain, no contractions n I even had a cerclage stitch done for this time. I think my uterus is really very prone to pushing out babies cos both times it happened in the same week (the second miscarriage was a blighted ovum). My husband n I hv decided not to try again because I went on full bed rest, took very painful progesterone jabs weekly and took lots of duphaston. If it's a structural problem, it's not worth losing another perfectly formed baby for. She had low risk for trisomy and her limbs etc were all formed perfectly.

I'm so sorry to hear this LadyP. I'm devastated just hearing you describe, but like what jube13 said, take time to recuperate before making any decisions. I myself am feeling anxious to try again yet scared that I can't hold another pregnancy. I guess it's nature's way of preparing us for better times in future, it's in no way the mother's fault. But the mother's guilt is real huh, no matter how early we lost our baby. I was at the mall yesterday, so many pregnant ladies, so many prams so many babies...all I wanted to do was to go home and hide.

 

[LadyP]

Some sad things about miscarriage that I have learnt from every miscarriage in the last three years (one every year):
1) your bill for d&c can be so high esp if you have to stay overnight for complications but you don't take home anything except tears. And on other threads in this forum I see people complaining about their delivery charges. I would gladly pay them to bring home a full term baby.
2) even if you are emotionally strong, all that bleeding can really bring on the emotions cos it's just so nasty to be bleeding so much suddenly after you thought you don't hv to use pads for nine months.
3) you realise your boobs are suddenly smaller and you know it's cos they know you aren't pregnant anymore
4) if it's a second trimester pregnancy and you have started telling people, you have to retract your statements or the next time you see them, they look puzzled that your bump is gone or it's not growing.

 

[LadyP]

I'm so sorry to hear this LadyP. I'm devastated just hearing you describe, but like what jube13 said, take time to recuperate before making any decisions. I myself am feeling anxious to try again yet scared that I can't hold another pregnancy. I guess it's nature's way of preparing us for better times in future, it's in no way the mother's fault. But the mother's guilt is real huh, no matter how early we lost our baby. I was at the mall yesterday, so many pregnant ladies, so many prams so many babies...all I wanted to do was to go home and hide.

Thank you for your kind thoughts. I have been through this a little too many times to know that I can't sustain a pregnancy beyond 15 weeks. also I dunno how old you are but I m 37. I have spent a good many months each year for the last three years discovering I am pregnant, visiting gynaes, taking supplements, abstaining from caffeine and "bad" food and then it's over. A very draining process.

 

[diddledum]

Some sad things about miscarriage that I have learnt from every miscarriage in the last three years (one every year):
1) your bill for d&c can be so high esp if you have to stay overnight for complications but you don't take home anything except tears. And on other threads in this forum I see people complaining about their delivery charges. I would gladly pay them to bring home a full term baby. -- exactly, I see parents scolding their wailing kids in the mall. What wouldn't I give to have my kid screaming at me...
2) even if you are emotionally strong, all that bleeding can really bring on the emotions cos it's just so nasty to be bleeding so much suddenly after you thought you don't hv to use pads for nine months. - I'm still bleeding after a week, every trip to the bathroom is a bloody reminder that that's your baby. I can't even drink water just because I want to minimize my loo trips
3) you realise your boobs are suddenly smaller and you know it's cos they know you aren't pregnant anymore - I know I know I know. Funnily everytime I eat I still think can I eat this? But then I recall I'm not pregnant anymore. The pharmacist who dispensed me my mc antibiotics still asked me out of SOP, are you pregnant? I felt like she just jabbed me in my heart...
4) if it's a second trimester pregnancy and you have started telling people, you have to retract your statements or the next time you see them, they look puzzled that your bump is gone or it's not growing.

LadyP, I totally know how that feels. And every moment of my life I now demarcate it as when I was pregnant and when I'm not. It's such a pain and yet I have to keep up a happy front when I'm with people when all I want to is to avoid any social contact...

 

[Rmummy]

Hi

I am new to this forum. Was suppose to be about 6 weeks pregnant. Had mild bleeding from Saturday. When KKH was told by Doc everything looks fine. Earlier today afternoon had a natural miscarriage. When to hospital and it was confirmed by Doc. Can't believe I just had a miscarriage. Heart feels so heavy and painful. Not sure how I m going to overcome it.

 

[diddledum]

Hi

I am new to this forum. Was suppose to be about 6 weeks pregnant. Had mild bleeding from Saturday. When KKH was told by Doc everything looks fine. Earlier today afternoon had a natural miscarriage. When to hospital and it was confirmed by Doc. Can't believe I just had a miscarriage. Heart feels so heavy and painful. Not sure how I m going to overcome it.

Hi, I'm still experiencing my mc from last Monday. Tbh, will only get worse before it gets better. Ask the doc to give you 3 days off, cry it out and grieve about it. You'll feel better after crying. I went back for review 2 days after discovering the MC, the nurse ask me to lie on the table and open my legs, and my tears just fell uncontrollably reliving that fateful night.

 

[Rmummy]

Same here it's such a painful experience. I had a natural miscarriage. The miscarriage keeps playing back in my mind.

 

[LadyP]

Do you ladies find that the hardest part is when you wake up in the mornings and when you are in that half-asleep mode and you suddenly realise again you are no longer pregnant? This always hurts me with each of my three miscarriages, especially the latest one which happened on Sunday cos for 14 weeks or so, I hv been greeting her good morning and good night every day.

 

[Rmummy]

Yes suddenly I feel so empty within myself. Can't even sleep. Body is so tired and weak. But can't shut my eyes to have a proper sleep.

 

[LadyP]

Yes suddenly I feel so empty within myself. Can't even sleep. Body is so tired and weak. But can't shut my eyes to have a proper sleep.

You have to try n rest. and build up your strength. I m bleeding a lot because I was 14 weeks and I was on hospital bedrest for almost a week so my legs are weak and I feel tired easily after standing for a while. But we have to eat and rest or else we are just stuck this way forever and it doesn't help anyone.

 

[Rmummy]

Yes can't bring myself to eat anything since I miscarriage yesterday afternoon. Doze off very late night now just after few hours of sleep I m wide awake again.

Each time I m getting flashback what happened yesterday and tears keep dropping. Even as I m typing this I m crying. It's a painful experience.

 

[diddledum]

Yes can't bring myself to eat anything since I miscarriage yesterday afternoon. Doze off very late night now just after few hours of sleep I m wide awake again.

Each time I m getting flashback what happened yesterday and tears keep dropping. Even as I m typing this I m crying. It's a painful experience.

Dear babynofour

Is this your first pregnancy/mc? It's normal to be grieving and you should just cry it out. Seek comfort from yourself and from your husband. I feel exactly like you, I don't deserve to eat anything I don't deserve to be doing anything. All I can think of is my unborn baby and all the plans we had for the baby. Now overnight my life has changed. In fact my timeline on life has changed, I don't remember dates, only when I was pregnant vs when I'm not

 

[diddledum]

Yes can't bring myself to eat anything since I miscarriage yesterday afternoon. Doze off very late night now just after few hours of sleep I m wide awake again.

Each time I m getting flashback what happened yesterday and tears keep dropping. Even as I m typing this I m crying. It's a painful experience.

You have to eat or drink water at least. You need to clean out this mc before you can prepare your body for the next pregnancy. This is how I remain hopeful. It's my first miscarriage and it's heartbreaking. But I know I want my rainbow baby and the only way is for me to grieve but then still stay hopeful.

 

[Rmummy]

This is my 3 pregnancy and 1 miscarriage. Hopefully time will heal my wound. May god bless me with a rainbow baby soon.

 

[Rmummy]

Trying my best to divert my attention to something else. Really wish to overcome this pain soon.

 

[yenjc]

Do you ladies find that the hardest part is when you wake up in the mornings and when you are in that half-asleep mode and you suddenly realise again you are no longer pregnant? This always hurts me with each of my three miscarriages, especially the latest one which happened on Sunday cos for 14 weeks or so, I hv been greeting her good morning and good night every day.

Hi Lady P, I can totally emphatise with you, I'm also 37 this year. I lost my first baby at 14 weeks too, 2 years ago, and that baby came after months and months of trying, the sense of loss is indescribable. Hubby then decided not to actively try for a baby thereafter. Late last year we discovered I was pregnant again, and this time we were determined to keep the baby. I went to TCM and listened to my gynae's advice and drowned myself with pills (duphaston and utrogestan) daily. My rainbow baby finally came into this world, but 2 months prematurely. She's still in nicu now but we are hoping she can come home soon.

What I want to say is that don't lose hope, but at the same time don't stress yourself, what u need now is rest and to regain your health to the optimum. You can consider visiting a TCM doctor to "tiao" your body back to health and also, like what another has suggested, visit a gynae who specialises in difficult pregnancies/infertility/high-risk pregnancies. It may really help (at least I felt it helped me).

Please take care of yourself and God bless.

 

[LadyP]

Hi Lady P, I can totally emphatise with you, I'm also 37 this year. I lost my first baby at 14 weeks too, 2 years ago, and that baby came after months and months of trying, the sense of loss is indescribable. Hubby then decided not to actively try for a baby thereafter. Late last year we discovered I was pregnant again, and this time we were determined to keep the baby. I went to TCM and listened to my gynae's advice and drowned myself with pills (duphaston and utrogestan) daily. My rainbow baby finally came into this world, but 2 months prematurely. She's still in nicu now but we are hoping she can come home soon.

What I want to say is that don't lose hope, but at the same time don't stress yourself, what u need now is rest and to regain your health to the optimum. You can consider visiting a TCM doctor to "tiao" your body back to health and also, like what another has suggested, visit a gynae who specialises in difficult pregnancies/infertility/high-risk pregnancies. It may really help (at least I felt it helped me).

Please take care of yourself and God bless.

Thank you for your kind thoughts and hope your baby goes home with you soon. Do you mind sharing which high risk doc you went to? Mine is already a very experienced and well-known specialist. But my tendency to have premature labour very early is scary.

 

[yenjc]

Thank you for your kind thoughts and hope your baby goes home with you soon. Do you mind sharing which high risk doc you went to? Mine is already a very experienced and well-known specialist. But my tendency to have premature labour very early is scary.

My gynae is Dr Ann Tan at Mount Elizabeth.

 

[LadyP]

If you don't mind me asking, did you find out why you lost your pregnancy two years ago? Was it early contractions or infection?

I heard that Dr Ann Tan is the doc for many celebrities who say she's very caring. But is she good for high risk pregnancies and also attentive to normal ppl like us? As anyone who has just lost a pregnancy would understand, you just want to find out more and hopefully have the chance to try again.

 

[diddledum]

Can I ask, it was my first mc and first pregnancy. The Kkh doc (I went to the 24h due to bleeding) didn't give me any reason, but said it's common among early pregnancies. I heard they only do tests on mothers for recurrent ones. I'm supposed to go back for the last review end July, should I ask them to do some tests on me, check my uterus or smth? I'm not sure if they kept the samples though, they did show me some 'pregnancy tissue'. I'm eager to start trying but I'm not sure if I should. I did make appt with the TCM in hopes of tiao ing my body but that's in Aug...

 

[amituofo]

I can really emphasise the mothers here who have mc. I am a first time father after yrs of waiting, full of excitements, but was taken away the opportunity to have a healthy baby till full term. I just lost mine at 15 weeks + when we detected no heartbeat.

My wife and I placed our faith in our religion. That really helps us to see this loss and the entire journey in perspective.
Ours was a IVF. Not sure whether still have the courage to have my wife to go through another round of IVF. We sought 2nd advice from Dr Anandakumar at Candem Medical Centre after anxieties from scanning at KKH. He said that IVF has a high chance of defective baby (about 15%). We understand that the chance of take home baby is 30% for IVF, but did not know that the defective chance is high.

 

[Vespertine]

Hi ladies..

I have went for D& C for the 1st lost.. and now I lost it again and wish to have natural miscarriage this time. I have bad backache after gyane told me there is no heartbeat. I thought that I will have discharge soon. But waited for 1 month, the backache has gone and still no discharge.

I even went to TCM to ask for herbals to let it discharge soon. Still no outcome.

I told my gyane that I wish to wait to have natural miscarriage. As long as I dun have any inter course with my hubby. There will not any infections while waiting for natural miscarriage.

I am very confused now. Should I wait? Or should I go for D&C again?

I need some advises.. thanks.

Hi there... Mine was a little similar. My first pregnancy was a mc. at 11 weeks, the scan showed that baby's heartbeat has stopped for 4 weeks... Placenta was still growing, pregnancy hormones were still raging and my morning sickness was very bad, but baby has already passed on for 4 weeks. I had no bleeding and no idea.

My gynae said these things, though rare, can happen. He didn't recommend a natural miscarriage, as it felt that it should have happened already, prolly something wrong with the "communication system" between placenta and fetus. He recommended a d&c to minimize risk of infection. So I did...but I only had the d&c 2 days later.

In my opinion, since the fetus has already passed on for so long, I would want to remove it asap. Not just for closure, but also for my body to recover faster and I can start trying to conceive again.

My second pregnancy was a miscarriage too. Blighted ovum. And it happened quickly, as it should be. Scanned at week 5, gynae told me not to tell my family about it as he felt that chances are very low. He gave me progesterone to take for a week, and after that, if the fetus still doesn't grow, it's not meant to be. True enough, at week 6, my sac was still empty. Once I stopped the progesterone, I began to have spotting and backache. I knew the miscarriage will happen soon. Within the next 3-4 days, I miscarried naturally.

It was painful, physically and emotionally. But all women are very strong indeed. What doesn't kill us really will make us stronger.

You have my prayers for the best. Take care.

 

[LadyP]

Hi ladies,

In case you are not aware, if you have had at least 2 miscarriages, there is this recurrent miscarriage professor who will do thorough investigations for you. The name of the Professor is Mahesh Choolani. He has clinic daily in Mount E Novena the Choolani Clinic, but only in NUH clinic every Thursday which is once a week.

If you do plan to see him, please do PM (private message) me as I have set up a whatsapp chatgroup for ladies who are under this professor.

Hi tryingtoconceive2014, I just had my third loss last week (second trimester, suspected infection and incompetent cervix again). I have been thinking of seeing dr choolani or prof biswas to see if I should not try to carry a pregnancy again. Are you seeing prof choolani at novena? Is he very ex and how is he like? Cos my losses aren't chromosomal or loss of heartbeat so I dunno who is the better high risk doc to consult as I m feeling really lost. Thk you so much.

 

[LadyP]

My gynae is Dr Ann Tan at Mount Elizabeth.

Hi yenjc, hope your daughter can go home w you soon.

 

[LadyP]

Hi everyone, does anyone have any feedback on professor mahesh choolani and prof biswas for checks on recurrent miscarriages?
Or if you managed to carry to full term safely after losses from incompetent cervix, do you mind sharing more with me about your journey? I just want to research my condition and see if I should not try to carry a pregnancy again lest I lose it even with a cerclage. Thk you so much!

 

[Bunny33]

I'm so sorry to hear this LadyP. I'm devastated just hearing you describe, but like what jube13 said, take time to recuperate before making any decisions. I myself am feeling anxious to try again yet scared that I can't hold another pregnancy. I guess it's nature's way of preparing us for better times in future, it's in no way the mother's fault. But the mother's guilt is real huh, no matter how early we lost our baby. I was at the mall yesterday, so many pregnant ladies, so many prams so many babies...all I wanted to do was to go home and hide.

Hi I understand how sad it is to lose a baby from the excitement of finding out your pregnancy to devastating moment of losing it. I used to go citysq mall and sit at cha cang ting window gazing out at mum with kids on the train ride and they look so happy that my heart ache and thinking when can I have such experience of family joy.

I have a difficult TTC journey and being through failure of ivf few times as well as a lost from natural preg. I just want to encourage you girls that one day you will be that happy mummy at the mall pushing pram with your kids. It may not be now but someday it will happen.

When u see a preg mummy or family with kids don't be too upset because u never know they may be struggling for years before having this. Jia you!

 

[diddledum]

Hi I understand how sad it is to lose a baby from the excitement of finding out your pregnancy to devastating moment of losing it. I used to go citysq mall and sit at cha cang ting window gazing out at mum with kids on the train ride and they look so happy that my heart ache and thinking when can I have such experience of family joy.

I have a difficult TTC journey and being through failure of ivf few times as well as a lost from natural preg. I just want to encourage you girls that one day you will be that happy mummy at the mall pushing pram with your kids. It may not be now but someday it will happen.

When u see a preg mummy or family with kids don't be too upset because u never know they may be struggling for years before having this. Jia you!

Thanks for the encouragement, bunny33. I guess I can only hope and pray continuously. Sometimes I feel I'm ok happy to go about doing the usual stuff then suddenly, grief kicks in. Like for no reason. I start to feel really sad and it's a downwards spiral. Do you guys get these sudden waves of sadness or reminders for no reason at all? I see myself as a mommy every day and yet feel I don't deserve to feel so

 

[Rmummy]

@diddledum totally feel you as I am in the same shoes. I keep telling myself I need to be strong. But the thoughts keep coming to my mind and it's painful.

 

[yenjc]

If you don't mind me asking, did you find out why you lost your pregnancy two years ago? Was it early contractions or infection?

I heard that Dr Ann Tan is the doc for many celebrities who say she's very caring. But is she good for high risk pregnancies and also attentive to normal ppl like us? As anyone who has just lost a pregnancy would understand, you just want to find out more and hopefully have the chance to try again.

Hmm, there was no specific reason for my loss the first time round, but doctors think it might have to do with my adenomyosis. But no one can tell me for sure if that was the cause.

As for Dr Ann Tan, I think she's very caring to all her patients, celebrity or not. And I like her because she's confident in what she says and is very detailed in explaining to me about my adenomyosis condition and the possible complications during pregnancy and etc etc. Everytime I visit her clinic she doesn't rush through consultation either.

 

[yenjc]

Hi yenjc, hope your daughter can go home w you soon.

Thanks! We are hoping that she can come home soon too

 

[Bunny33]

Thanks for the encouragement, bunny33. I guess I can only hope and pray continuously. Sometimes I feel I'm ok happy to go about doing the usual stuff then suddenly, grief kicks in. Like for no reason. I start to feel really sad and it's a downwards spiral. Do you guys get these sudden waves of sadness or reminders for no reason at all? I see myself as a mommy every day and yet feel I don't deserve to feel so

Everyone deserve to be mummy. Some people have it easy while others struggle to have their dreams come true. Each of us have a journey others may not understand. As long as u tried and be at peace with yourself nothing else matters. U will get there some day. Jia you.

 

[sheery]

i have had 3 miscarriages between week 4-8 previously via naturally conceived.

Attempted Ivf under doc thh & was successful in my 2nd attempt at fet with twin baby boys.

I had a perfectly good detailed scan on 12th July & both babies heartbeat were fine. Same night while visiting the toilet to pee at 2am I felt what was like a balloon of water bursting & some leaking. There was not much pain except when the gush of liquid came. Next morning, I felt fine & went to work. There was no more leaking & instead lotsa vaginal discharge. Started to have chills & by noon developed fever & felt tired. Went home to sleep it off & went A&E same night when fever and chills worsen.

At A&E, the scan still shows strong heartbeats for both twins, a swap also indicates that there is no amino fluid present. Admitted for suspected infection, next morning when rescan, one of my twin heartbeat was gone just like that.

My fever continues to escalate with chills, doc wanted to abort the living twin as he was worried I get organ failure or possible death but I rejected & decided to monitor further. 15th July past midnight became a nightmare, had early labor & both twins are born one after another within hours, there was nothing I could do to stop the contractions after which a womb evacuation was done to clear the infection.

Ironically, after my twins were born, I recovered & there was no more fever or chills.

It was devasting for us when we look & carry our twins for r the first n last time. We opt to collect our sons bodies & crement them by engaging a undertaker. Their ashes are with us now & we have not decided how to handle, either scatter to the sea or put in the niche.

Hubby is Catholic & will conduct some ritual mass for twins. I read in this forum that there were ritual done in Buddhist temple at geylang called Jung Shan ship or Ching Shan shi for the deceased babies, however I could not locate this temple, anybody can give me the temple address or telephone or correct name? Thanks

 

[Rmummy]

@sheery I know no words can console you or your hubby. I had a miscarriage on 4 July 2016. I know it's very painful. My pregnancy is via IVF too. Pray that God will bless us with our rainbow babies soon.

Please be strong and take care.

 

[diddledum]

i have had 3 miscarriages between week 4-8 previously via naturally conceived.

Attempted Ivf under doc thh & was successful in my 2nd attempt at fet with twin baby boys.

I had a perfectly good detailed scan on 12th July & both babies heartbeat were fine. Same night while visiting the toilet to pee at 2am I felt what was like a balloon of water bursting & some leaking. There was not much pain except when the gush of liquid came. Next morning, I felt fine & went to work. There was no more leaking & instead lotsa vaginal discharge. Started to have chills & by noon developed fever & felt tired. Went home to sleep it off & went A&E same night when fever and chills worsen.

At A&E, the scan still shows strong heartbeats for both twins, a swap also indicates that there is no amino fluid present. Admitted for suspected infection, next morning when rescan, one of my twin heartbeat was gone just like that.

My fever continues to escalate with chills, doc wanted to abort the living twin as he was worried I get organ failure or possible death but I rejected & decided to monitor further. 15th July past midnight became a nightmare, had early labor & both twins are born one after another within hours, there was nothing I could do to stop the contractions after which a womb evacuation was done to clear the infection.

Ironically, after my twins were born, I recovered & there was no more fever or chills.

It was devasting for us when we look & carry our twins for r the first n last time. We opt to collect our sons bodies & crement them by engaging a undertaker. Their ashes are with us now & we have not decided how to handle, either scatter to the sea or put in the niche.

Hubby is Catholic & will conduct some ritual mass for twins. I read in this forum that there were ritual done in Buddhist temple at geylang called Jung Shan ship or Ching Shan shi for the deceased babies, however I could not locate this temple, anybody can give me the temple address or telephone or correct name? Thanks

Hi sheery

Sorry I don't have the contact...and I'm heartbroken just hearing you describe your experience. It must have been traumatizing. You are a very very brave and strong woman to be here today. I admire your spirit.

I'm a Buddhist at Nichiren Shoshu Singapore, and we have ceremonies for the deceased. But I haven't had the courage to do one for my miscarried baby. Idk how to tell my reverend about it and ask him to advise. Not sure when I can actually pluck up the courage to talk abt it openly without getting emotional. My heart goes out to you Sheery. Let's all stay strong and hopeful for our rainbow baby.

 

[ZJJJ]

Hi, i suffered a m/c in Apr and went for D&C. TIll now period has not returned (nope definitely no BFP). Anyone experiencing something similar? Any advice?

 

[Vespertine]

Hi, i suffered a m/c in Apr and went for D&C. TIll now period has not returned (nope definitely no BFP). Anyone experiencing something similar? Any advice?

Hi, I personally think you should see your gynae. My first m/c via d&c: period came after exactly 6 weeks. and that's quite long already.

 

[Vespertine]

@sherry @diddledum

Recently I spoke with a fortune teller (not sure if he's Buddhist or Taoist) and he said that actually when during a m/c, we can just pray to our God and ask for God to take our baby to heaven. Rituals or even burials sometimes are a way of grief handling for the parents... What's important is we pray for our babies to have a home to return to...

I'm a Christian and was so surprised to hear that from him, as I thought he may insist I pay him to conduct a ritual.

 

[Rmummy]

@ZJJJ I had a natural miscarriage early July. When for my doc review yesterday at KKH. Doc told me after miscarriage period will come only after 6 weeks. You might want to consult a doctor if it's even longer than the 6 weeks since your period came.

 

[ZJJJ]

Hi, I personally think you should see your gynae. My first m/c via d&c: period came after exactly 6 weeks. and that's quite long already.

Thanks for the advice. Yeah perhaps I should go back and see my gynae..

 

[ZJJJ]

@ZJJJ I had a natural miscarriage early July. When for my doc review yesterday at KKH. Doc told me after miscarriage period will come only after 6 weeks. You might want to consult a doctor if it's even longer than the 6 weeks since your period came.

Sorry to hear about your loss... Thanks for your advice and stay strong!!

 

[ZJJJ]

Hi, i went to visit my gynae and he recommended Diane 35 to trigger my period since it did not come after 3-months post op.

anyone here taking Diane 35 too?

 

[Mrs Chan00]

Dear ladies... am sorry to hear about all your losses.
I myself had a difficult ttc journey too... I used to think once pregnant confirm can hold my bundle of joy in my arm until 3 years ago... I had my 1st mc at week 7. Never get to see bb or heartbeat and it is gone. After trying for 1 year plus still no good news even with the help of clomid. Was referred to Dr HH Tan. Dr Tan suggested ivf after my 2nd appt with him as hubby sperm count low and my Amh low. Not wanting to look back and regret, I took his advice and started my 1st fresh cycle last Oct. Wasn't having high hope and was prepared for failure but ended up losing bb to ectopic and had my left tube removed. I was very scared of another pregnancy loss after ectopic and almost wanted to give up but I still got 3 frozen embryos so after taking a half a year break, decided to try again this May. Once again I was pregnant... unfortunately, thing happened again. My doctor is convinced that my bb stop growing when scan at week 7 still show no bb and heartbeat. Hoping that miracle will happen, I decided to wait and see but I start to bleed and I know I am gg to mc again. Had a d&c done 5 weeks ago and still grieving over my loss. Feel so heart pain for all my angels babies... they don't have the chance to come into this world. Feel so useless as a mummy.. can't even protect my babies.
@ sheery... u may want to check on 新加坡佛教生命协会. They do 牌位 for miscarriage babies and stillborn babies. Not sure about deceased babies though but u can call and enquire. Tel: 6836 9088. They are located at geylang lor 19.

 

[LadyP]

Dear ladies... am sorry to hear about all your losses.
I myself had a difficult ttc journey too... I used to think once pregnant confirm can hold my bundle of joy in my arm until 3 years ago... I had my 1st mc at week 7. Never get to see bb or heartbeat and it is gone. After trying for 1 year plus still no good news even with the help of clomid. Was referred to Dr HH Tan. Dr Tan suggested ivf after my 2nd appt with him as hubby sperm count low and my Amh low. Not wanting to look back and regret, I took his advice and started my 1st fresh cycle last Oct. Wasn't having high hope and was prepared for failure but ended up losing bb to ectopic and had my left tube removed. I was very scared of another pregnancy loss after ectopic and almost wanted to give up but I still got 3 frozen embryos so after taking a half a year break, decided to try again this May. Once again I was pregnant... unfortunately, thing happened again. My doctor is convinced that my bb stop growing when scan at week 7 still show no bb and heartbeat. Hoping that miracle will happen, I decided to wait and see but I start to bleed and I know I am gg to mc again. Had a d&c done 5 weeks ago and still grieving over my loss. Feel so heart pain for all my angels babies... they don't have the chance to come into this world. Feel so useless as a mummy.. can't even protect my babies.
@ sherry... u may want to check on 新加坡佛教生命协会. They do 牌位 for miscarriage babies and stillborn babies. Not sure about deceased babies though but u can call and enquire. Tel: 6836 9088. They are located at geylang lor 19.

Hi Mrschan00, sorry to hear about this. I also had my third loss (but mine is naturally conceived and lost in second trimester) at the beginning of this month. I also feel useless as a woman at times and feel sorry for my husband. I'm also not young anymore – I'm 37 – so I don't know if I have the courage to try again because I'm sick of being happy and excited and hopeful and then having to go for D&C and deal with all this post-surgery bleeding and recovery. Take care. Who would have known there are so many of us around? I used to think too that once you get pregnant, you just stay that way for nine months and deliver a cute fat baby like everyone else seems to do!

 

[diddledum]

Dear ladies... am sorry to hear about all your losses.
I myself had a difficult ttc journey too... I used to think once pregnant confirm can hold my bundle of joy in my arm until 3 years ago... I had my 1st mc at week 7. Never get to see bb or heartbeat and it is gone. After trying for 1 year plus still no good news even with the help of clomid. Was referred to Dr HH Tan. Dr Tan suggested ivf after my 2nd appt with him as hubby sperm count low and my Amh low. Not wanting to look back and regret, I took his advice and started my 1st fresh cycle last Oct. Wasn't having high hope and was prepared for failure but ended up losing bb to ectopic and had my left tube removed. I was very scared of another pregnancy loss after ectopic and almost wanted to give up but I still got 3 frozen embryos so after taking a half a year break, decided to try again this May. Once again I was pregnant... unfortunately, thing happened again. My doctor is convinced that my bb stop growing when scan at week 7 still show no bb and heartbeat. Hoping that miracle will happen, I decided to wait and see but I start to bleed and I know I am gg to mc again. Had a d&c done 5 weeks ago and still grieving over my loss. Feel so heart pain for all my angels babies... they don't have the chance to come into this world. Feel so useless as a mummy.. can't even protect my babies.
@ sherry... u may want to check on 新加坡佛教生命协会. They do 牌位 for miscarriage babies and stillborn babies. Not sure about deceased babies though but u can call and enquire. Tel: 6836 9088. They are located at geylang lor 19.

My heart goes out to you Mrschan...mine was also lost at 7 weeks. Went for my last review at KKH yesterday. Extremely extremely painful experience seeing everyone else in the waiting room being pregnant and happy. I looked like the only one without a baby bump and extremely out of place. Felt as if I shouldn't have any reason being there. My husband was with me so I had to consciously tell myself to be strong. I was on the verge of tears seeing the pregnant mummies go in and out. Of course I couldn't break down in the clinic!

Are you still trying, Mrschan? The doc told me mc is once and a lifetime and I was practically rolling my eyes! He gave me Lextrozole but my period isn't here yet so I'm also in a limbo now...

Still grieving