Support Group - Mid Term Termination Of Pregnancy
- Thread starter tarynn
- Start date
stefie2104
Active Member
Hi Chewy,
Yes I live in Sengkang "Town of the most pregnant women". His pregnancy package is very good value for $$, he is very decisive, his consultation is very chop-chop kind, but he is very concern for babies and I find him not $$$ minded like some gynaes. But not everyone likes him cos of his chop chop consultations.
Hope you can find the 'one' gynae. Jia you
Be positive
Yes I live in Sengkang "Town of the most pregnant women". His pregnancy package is very good value for $$, he is very decisive, his consultation is very chop-chop kind, but he is very concern for babies and I find him not $$$ minded like some gynaes. But not everyone likes him cos of his chop chop consultations.
Hope you can find the 'one' gynae. Jia you
stefie2104
Active Member
Hi CHewy,
Yes Yes, waiting for good news soon
Babydust to us
We will have sticky & Healthy babies
Yes Yes, waiting for good news soon
twinkle_33
New Member
Chewy,
The night before I had vagina pain and when I call KKH hotline, the nurse say it's common cramp as long as I am not bleeding. But should be monitor till tomorrow morning ...if it persist I should go down to KKH. I slept soundly that nite. Decided to have a rest from work on that morning but 5 minutes after hubby left for work, I felt some discharge came out so I went to the toilet to check and I was bleeding (not a lot, like normal menses).
Call hubby immediately to come home and send me to hospital. There was no pain at all...Thinking I will be probably admitted to hospital for few days, I calmly pack some stuff while waiting for hubby and I can even walk normally. In less than 30 minutes we reach hospital but doc told us nothing can be done to save the pregnancy. I felt my whole world crumbled ...I shouted and begged the doc to save my baby but the doc say there is really nothing can be done cos baby too small to survive. Baby was kicking even as I lied down in the hospital ward ...I sing to him and telling him to be strong as I'll be for him. But as thing gets hopeless ...I kept telling him it's that daddy & mummy don't want you, we really want you very much.
His hearbeat stop at 9pm, he was delivered 00.21am.
The night before I had vagina pain and when I call KKH hotline, the nurse say it's common cramp as long as I am not bleeding. But should be monitor till tomorrow morning ...if it persist I should go down to KKH. I slept soundly that nite. Decided to have a rest from work on that morning but 5 minutes after hubby left for work, I felt some discharge came out so I went to the toilet to check and I was bleeding (not a lot, like normal menses).
Call hubby immediately to come home and send me to hospital. There was no pain at all...Thinking I will be probably admitted to hospital for few days, I calmly pack some stuff while waiting for hubby and I can even walk normally. In less than 30 minutes we reach hospital but doc told us nothing can be done to save the pregnancy. I felt my whole world crumbled ...I shouted and begged the doc to save my baby but the doc say there is really nothing can be done cos baby too small to survive. Baby was kicking even as I lied down in the hospital ward ...I sing to him and telling him to be strong as I'll be for him. But as thing gets hopeless ...I kept telling him it's that daddy & mummy don't want you, we really want you very much.
His hearbeat stop at 9pm, he was delivered 00.21am.
twinkle_33
New Member
Throughout the whole 21 weeks pregnancy everything was OK. The day before it happens ...I have totally no symptoms of any infection such as fever etc. I even had good appetite during dinner.
Pretty hard for me to accept the lost
Pretty hard for me to accept the lost
mkchewy
Member
Yeng,
If I can .. I will give you a BIG hug as you share with me. I know as you type those out.. your heart must be as heavy as mine.
No words can describe the pain you went through. I know it deeply coz mine was similar to your.
It's my 3rd m/c this May, throughout my pregnancy I was on a roller coster. I was even bed resting at home but nothing can be done. And my case was unknown. On that fateful day, I was in the hospital coz of my complaint a day earlier of diarrhea and Meredith kicking a lot. Was in the hospital for contraction monitoring, but nothing was found. Dr kept me there since my hubby was oversea. Then later in the afternoon, without warning and within 30 mins I just went into labour and delivery her at 22 wks. She is a fighter since day 1 after I lost the other sac @ wk 7 ( was a twin pregnancy) Her heartbeats are so strong but PD came and yet nothing can be done as she is way too young. She is the most beautiful baby I ever seen. I went through it alone till my hubby flew back later in the night. By then, she had already passed on. I was sent for emergency D&C coz the placenta won't come out. Hence no one was there when she passed on.
It's been 5 months now yet I still have my bad day at times. Still missing her deeply though I know she is in heaven with God and the rest of the angels from this thread and those whom I know.
Take your time to heal and come by here to share with the rest. As I mentioned, this thread is my cup of comfort.
You are welcome to PM me if you need to chat on MSN or anything. I have make some great friends from this thread and I love having to chat with them. We are all in the same boat of pain/ grieving / TTC and healing.
YOU know who you are .. and I so touch when you remember '12' on the calendar. Coz Meredith was born on 12 May , two days after my birthday. And at the beginning , every 12 of the month is my BAD BAD day. I'm getting better.. and planning to TTC later in the year. So staying positive despite that .. I still give myself space on those bad day to grieve / remember her. Nothing wrong as long as I get back on track. So all my loved ones won't be worry for me and it's mentally good I guess.
If I can .. I will give you a BIG hug as you share with me. I know as you type those out.. your heart must be as heavy as mine.
No words can describe the pain you went through. I know it deeply coz mine was similar to your.
It's my 3rd m/c this May, throughout my pregnancy I was on a roller coster. I was even bed resting at home but nothing can be done. And my case was unknown. On that fateful day, I was in the hospital coz of my complaint a day earlier of diarrhea and Meredith kicking a lot. Was in the hospital for contraction monitoring, but nothing was found. Dr kept me there since my hubby was oversea. Then later in the afternoon, without warning and within 30 mins I just went into labour and delivery her at 22 wks. She is a fighter since day 1 after I lost the other sac @ wk 7 ( was a twin pregnancy) Her heartbeats are so strong but PD came and yet nothing can be done as she is way too young. She is the most beautiful baby I ever seen. I went through it alone till my hubby flew back later in the night. By then, she had already passed on. I was sent for emergency D&C coz the placenta won't come out. Hence no one was there when she passed on.
It's been 5 months now yet I still have my bad day at times. Still missing her deeply though I know she is in heaven with God and the rest of the angels from this thread and those whom I know.
Take your time to heal and come by here to share with the rest. As I mentioned, this thread is my cup of comfort.
You are welcome to PM me if you need to chat on MSN or anything. I have make some great friends from this thread and I love having to chat with them. We are all in the same boat of pain/ grieving / TTC and healing.
YOU know who you are .. and I so touch when you remember '12' on the calendar. Coz Meredith was born on 12 May , two days after my birthday. And at the beginning , every 12 of the month is my BAD BAD day. I'm getting better.. and planning to TTC later in the year. So staying positive despite that .. I still give myself space on those bad day to grieve / remember her. Nothing wrong as long as I get back on track. So all my loved ones won't be worry for me and it's mentally good I guess.
Hi Stefie,
Thank u for ur encouragement.it's encouragement like that that keeps me going.stefie,i'm also with Mr.chan.been seeing him for 3 mths now.i usually go on a thurs afternoon,when i don't work.sometimes it gets a little crowded too even on a wkday.if i go on sun,i make sure i reach there by 8.30 so i don't have to Q too long.even then,i always wake up late and i reach abt 9,so there's still a Q already.
Hi Yeng,
*hugs* how are u and ur hubby coping now? yes,like u,i didn't have any symptoms too.and i was reassured coz 1 wk b4 it happened,everything was fine during the detailed scan.so i can be sure all these happened suddenly in 1 wk.it's very scary.and when i attended the antenatal class,it was emphasized that if there is decreased foetal movement,have to go hospital immediately.i was still calmly having din with mum at ikea when mum asked abt baby.then i realised baby didn't move the entire day.i didn't want mum to worry,so i went into the toilet and shook my tummy.no movement.i had a very bad feeling already.coz i have previously 'played' with my baby by stirring her up and she kicked so much.she's usually a very active gal.i calmly drove to the hospital by myself some more.it's been 1.5 yrs now,but some days are still a struggle,esp when i'm ttc.i still cry when i read abt stories like urs.i'm so sensitive these days with baby issues.ppl who have never gone thru' wat we are going thru' will never appreciate how much we treasure every precious one that comes our way.when i was preg with no.2,hubby even suggested we gave the baby a 2nd name,Precious.it's unisex.i believe this thread will give u strength to move on.it will get better,as the gals here will tell u.u can depend on us.w/o this thread,i would have gone insane.that piercing pain,that frustration that no one can do anything to bring ur baby back,that pain that last for yrs (other ppl will wonder y we cannot move on)...only we can understand and lend u a shoulder to cry on.did u do confinement? must do,u know? must strengthen ur body.i've learned.i as so angry i had to do confinement.no baby already still do confinement! i tot that was absolutely crazy! but judging the amt of time taken for me to conceive no.2,it may be coz my body wasn't strong enough.
Chewy,
are u talking abt me?! haha...i'm thick skinned.
Thank u for ur encouragement.it's encouragement like that that keeps me going.stefie,i'm also with Mr.chan.been seeing him for 3 mths now.i usually go on a thurs afternoon,when i don't work.sometimes it gets a little crowded too even on a wkday.if i go on sun,i make sure i reach there by 8.30 so i don't have to Q too long.even then,i always wake up late and i reach abt 9,so there's still a Q already.
Hi Yeng,
*hugs* how are u and ur hubby coping now? yes,like u,i didn't have any symptoms too.and i was reassured coz 1 wk b4 it happened,everything was fine during the detailed scan.so i can be sure all these happened suddenly in 1 wk.it's very scary.and when i attended the antenatal class,it was emphasized that if there is decreased foetal movement,have to go hospital immediately.i was still calmly having din with mum at ikea when mum asked abt baby.then i realised baby didn't move the entire day.i didn't want mum to worry,so i went into the toilet and shook my tummy.no movement.i had a very bad feeling already.coz i have previously 'played' with my baby by stirring her up and she kicked so much.she's usually a very active gal.i calmly drove to the hospital by myself some more.it's been 1.5 yrs now,but some days are still a struggle,esp when i'm ttc.i still cry when i read abt stories like urs.i'm so sensitive these days with baby issues.ppl who have never gone thru' wat we are going thru' will never appreciate how much we treasure every precious one that comes our way.when i was preg with no.2,hubby even suggested we gave the baby a 2nd name,Precious.it's unisex.i believe this thread will give u strength to move on.it will get better,as the gals here will tell u.u can depend on us.w/o this thread,i would have gone insane.that piercing pain,that frustration that no one can do anything to bring ur baby back,that pain that last for yrs (other ppl will wonder y we cannot move on)...only we can understand and lend u a shoulder to cry on.did u do confinement? must do,u know? must strengthen ur body.i've learned.i as so angry i had to do confinement.no baby already still do confinement! i tot that was absolutely crazy! but judging the amt of time taken for me to conceive no.2,it may be coz my body wasn't strong enough.
Chewy,
are u talking abt me?! haha...i'm thick skinned.
shiseru
Active Member
Yeng, did you send your baby for post mortem? Did doctor say why the sudden infection? Monster what about you, did doctor has any explanation why it happened?
It sucks when such things offered no explanation. For my case, doctor said it is not genetic, just "suay". So continue to take folic acid. Ask them if they will monitor me more closely due to my previous pregnancy was affected with NTD, my gynae said she will informed the sonographer to scan the spine during the 11 weeks OSCARS testing. But explain baby too small also hard to detect. What I may consider is I will go back to KK since they have my records but I will go scan a second time at Ann Tan @ paragon coz she got an awesome 4D scan machine and it is very clear, cost a bomb but it's very detailed so it's all worth it.
Chewy, stefie, i stayed in Sengkang only moved to Tampines in Aug, I moved immediately after the incident guess being in a different environment helped me recovered better.
It sucks when such things offered no explanation. For my case, doctor said it is not genetic, just "suay". So continue to take folic acid. Ask them if they will monitor me more closely due to my previous pregnancy was affected with NTD, my gynae said she will informed the sonographer to scan the spine during the 11 weeks OSCARS testing. But explain baby too small also hard to detect. What I may consider is I will go back to KK since they have my records but I will go scan a second time at Ann Tan @ paragon coz she got an awesome 4D scan machine and it is very clear, cost a bomb but it's very detailed so it's all worth it.
Chewy, stefie, i stayed in Sengkang only moved to Tampines in Aug, I moved immediately after the incident guess being in a different environment helped me recovered better.
stefie2104
Active Member
Hi Monster,
You are the most welcome. Jia meis must support and help each other out
For healthy babies in arms, I don't care how long I queue or how bitter is the medicine or how many injections to stablise the pregnancy or how many pills I need to pop. Be pregnant is the most wonderful experience any women can have!!! We jia you together
Hi Shiseru,
We suay once, we will be lucky next
Jia you
Be positive.
Till now the hormones injections areas still itchy even after few months. This is the only pregnancy sign left.
Our turn will be here soon
Jia you
You are the most welcome. Jia meis must support and help each other out
For healthy babies in arms, I don't care how long I queue or how bitter is the medicine or how many injections to stablise the pregnancy or how many pills I need to pop. Be pregnant is the most wonderful experience any women can have!!! We jia you together
Hi Shiseru,
We suay once, we will be lucky next
Till now the hormones injections areas still itchy even after few months. This is the only pregnancy sign left.
Our turn will be here soon
shiseru
Active Member
I took once the hormone jab during my 11 weeks coz experienced bleeding, then double dosage hormone pills. I managed to pull through but unfortunately, i still couldn't escape the terrible fate that was awaiting me during the 20 weeks scan. Maybe this pregnancy just wasn't meant to be from the start.
My heart goes out to all the women who have had miscarriages. It's heartbreaking and devastating beyond words. I do know how you feel, I feel it for me, and I feel it for you too.
My heart goes out to all the women who have had miscarriages. It's heartbreaking and devastating beyond words. I do know how you feel, I feel it for me, and I feel it for you too.
twinkle_33
New Member
Chewy,
Yes, our baby are now in heaven ...one day we shall meet them. We'll hug and giving him all the kisses which we so eagerly to do so now. I'll add you in my msn once I return from holiday.
Monster,
What week you're in when you lost your baby? It makes us harder to accept cos everything is progressing so well yet it happen ... I did 1 month confinement, had to force myself to swollow cos no appetite but it help a lot in reducing cramps becos of the alcohol and ginger bah. Anxious to TTC again ... how long you take to conceive baby no.2? Precious ...it's a good name.
Shiseru,
I ask the doc the same question and his reply is that there is nothing we can avoid cos germs are everywhere is our body. It could be that my immune system was low ... But throughout the pregnancy I purposely walk 15 minutes a day for exercise and eating lots of vege + fruits. I was feeling great....Guess nothing can be explain as well bah. Will take fish / chicken essence to improve my immune system in preparation for next pregnancy.
Yes, our baby are now in heaven ...one day we shall meet them. We'll hug and giving him all the kisses which we so eagerly to do so now. I'll add you in my msn once I return from holiday.
Monster,
What week you're in when you lost your baby? It makes us harder to accept cos everything is progressing so well yet it happen ... I did 1 month confinement, had to force myself to swollow cos no appetite but it help a lot in reducing cramps becos of the alcohol and ginger bah. Anxious to TTC again ... how long you take to conceive baby no.2? Precious ...it's a good name.
Shiseru,
I ask the doc the same question and his reply is that there is nothing we can avoid cos germs are everywhere is our body. It could be that my immune system was low ... But throughout the pregnancy I purposely walk 15 minutes a day for exercise and eating lots of vege + fruits. I was feeling great....Guess nothing can be explain as well bah. Will take fish / chicken essence to improve my immune system in preparation for next pregnancy.
mkchewy
Member
Yea.. it's so true no matter how tired, puking, morning sickness, boobs being sore, painful jabs ( i took for almost 4 months daily) , pills popping etc. Being pregnant is the most wonderful experience for me too. I can't wait to start the cycle all over again. I'm prepare to even confining myself to bed this time round.
JIA U everyone.. I hope to hear more good news here.
Hi Mon Mon,
YES , of course talking about you lah
JIA U everyone.. I hope to hear more good news here.
Hi Mon Mon,
YES , of course talking about you lah
Yeng, a big hugs to you. I lost my bb also very suddenly. Detailed scan showed bb growing well but a week after, things turn out unexpectedly. I still had a good dinner wif my family the day before i was admitted. I was in a state of unbelievable when I was told to be admited to labour ward. I thot it was just a dream.
Words could not describe our lost. We carried our bb and the bond already started since. I know it is very painful. I did try not to think but sometimes when i'm alone, i still think and missing him so much of his cute little face.
Whenever I write here, I cant control myself either. That is why, I seldom write here. But I do know some great friends from here who went thru the same journey like us. It is important to build up your health again. Emotion will affect our health. Do feel free to pm or msn me. We are all here for you.
Jia you for all of us who are trying.
Words could not describe our lost. We carried our bb and the bond already started since. I know it is very painful. I did try not to think but sometimes when i'm alone, i still think and missing him so much of his cute little face.
Whenever I write here, I cant control myself either. That is why, I seldom write here. But I do know some great friends from here who went thru the same journey like us. It is important to build up your health again. Emotion will affect our health. Do feel free to pm or msn me. We are all here for you.
Jia you for all of us who are trying.
Hi stefie,mango,shiseru,chewy,
I agree with all of u.the progesterone jab was painful.and i can really take a lot of physical pain.i had no epidural when i gave birth.doc refused to give me epidural.i think she must be thinking it's a waste of money coz bb dead already.my labour was 26 hrs.BUT! i will go thru' any amt of physical pain to have a healthy baby in my arm.even if i have to go thru' it alone.i get very little support fr my hubby,u c.even the doc said my hubby better appreciate wat i'm going thru' for him.he's not here to c me go thru' it,so to him,it's no big deal.but i will press on by myself.coz a baby will complete my life.
yeng,
i lost my bab at 29 wks.i went back to my mum's place to do confinement.i cried everyday silent.no one can understand the pain i went thru' except u gals.i'm very lucky i found this forum coz this is the only place i can express myself w/o being judged.and gals who went thru't this will never tell u,"it's okie,try again." ppl said that to me.it's okie!??!?!! my baby died and u tell me it's okie??? WTF??? if ur child suddenly dies on u and i tell u it's okie,go make another one,how would u feel? u would want to slap me in the face! i got a lot of strength fr this thread,and i hope u will too.like u,i forced myself to eat and do confinement too,coz i'm eager to try again.i started eating confinement food in the hospital.but u know wat? it took me 9 mths to conceive again (but i lost the bb at 9 wks).if u body is not ready,no point forcing it.the 9 mths of my life was the most agonising.everything revolved ard ttc.i lost myself in that,i lost my life.one day,i was juz so sick of being a zoombie that i decided to rebuild my life.it's difficult,but u have to try.and when i decided to rebuild my life,bb no.2 came along.
loveym,
i cried when i read ur post.it's so heartbreaking.i try not to look into the album i stuck chloe's stuff in.but i have her lovely face etched in my mind already.every now and then,i will pull out the lovely baby image fr my mind...and i will tear.don't be afraid to cry/to be sad.u r entitled to! it's part of the process.i think it's healthy.after the stillbirth,everyone told me i have to be strong,i have to take care.but no one told me i could cry.strange,isn't it? like that's no allowed.letting my tears flow is the best way to release my emotion.after a good cry,i move on.
gals,
pray for me.my O day is coming.pray for me that my hubby will co-operate.
I agree with all of u.the progesterone jab was painful.and i can really take a lot of physical pain.i had no epidural when i gave birth.doc refused to give me epidural.i think she must be thinking it's a waste of money coz bb dead already.my labour was 26 hrs.BUT! i will go thru' any amt of physical pain to have a healthy baby in my arm.even if i have to go thru' it alone.i get very little support fr my hubby,u c.even the doc said my hubby better appreciate wat i'm going thru' for him.he's not here to c me go thru' it,so to him,it's no big deal.but i will press on by myself.coz a baby will complete my life.
yeng,
i lost my bab at 29 wks.i went back to my mum's place to do confinement.i cried everyday silent.no one can understand the pain i went thru' except u gals.i'm very lucky i found this forum coz this is the only place i can express myself w/o being judged.and gals who went thru't this will never tell u,"it's okie,try again." ppl said that to me.it's okie!??!?!! my baby died and u tell me it's okie??? WTF??? if ur child suddenly dies on u and i tell u it's okie,go make another one,how would u feel? u would want to slap me in the face! i got a lot of strength fr this thread,and i hope u will too.like u,i forced myself to eat and do confinement too,coz i'm eager to try again.i started eating confinement food in the hospital.but u know wat? it took me 9 mths to conceive again (but i lost the bb at 9 wks).if u body is not ready,no point forcing it.the 9 mths of my life was the most agonising.everything revolved ard ttc.i lost myself in that,i lost my life.one day,i was juz so sick of being a zoombie that i decided to rebuild my life.it's difficult,but u have to try.and when i decided to rebuild my life,bb no.2 came along.
loveym,
i cried when i read ur post.it's so heartbreaking.i try not to look into the album i stuck chloe's stuff in.but i have her lovely face etched in my mind already.every now and then,i will pull out the lovely baby image fr my mind...and i will tear.don't be afraid to cry/to be sad.u r entitled to! it's part of the process.i think it's healthy.after the stillbirth,everyone told me i have to be strong,i have to take care.but no one told me i could cry.strange,isn't it? like that's no allowed.letting my tears flow is the best way to release my emotion.after a good cry,i move on.
gals,
pray for me.my O day is coming.pray for me that my hubby will co-operate.
shiseru
Active Member
I am a little grouchy nowadays probably becoz it's near Dec which is my due date if I didnt lose my baby. Saw my husband tear up yesterday night, 我好心疼啊!
I pray for you monster, and me too coz my AF just finished and I can start testing O again!
Good luck to everyone and let's not give up.
I pray for you monster, and me too coz my AF just finished and I can start testing O again!
Good luck to everyone and let's not give up.
Hi Lovelym and all ladies
I did not do many things unique for this pregnancy since I didn't do anything wrong for the previous ones. They were just pure luck (unlucky)!
However, I am more superstitious this time. I used to attend weddings and funerals, and was not pang tang at all. This time round, I just kept quiet and did not attend any events, not even contributing ang pows.
I am still faithful to the gynae who saw me from the 1st pregnancy. If you do not mind a male non-Chinese gynae, PM me and I can let you know the details. We are really comfortable with him so we decided not to change gyane after the episodes. He was very happy for us too after the successful delivery that he visited our little one everyday himself.
I went through the jabs too, taking the hormone pills orally too. I think it was these hormones that caused me severe headaches and vomitting. I never had such bad headaches in my entire life, almost as bad as contractions and even during sleep. I was on hospitalisation leave till week 14 and subsequently, I work only 4 days a week taking one day annual leave till week 36. This allowed me to rest while continue working - just have to be focused and discipline during work to complete all stuff within 4 working days. I commute by taxis too so that I will not be too tired.
We did CTG fortnightly from week 32 onwards. There was a paper written that although the heartbeat might be normal, some abnormalities can only be picked up during CTG. I was also very cautious to ensure that this little one kicked me frequently inside. I will even wake up in the middle of the night to ensure that he kicked me before going back to sleep - paranoid! Previously, there were very few movements that I did not even know he was gone till the routine checks.
I did not take any TMC once I knew I was pregnant. I heard that we should not "bu" in the first trimester and just made sure I had balance diet. I did take chicken essence sometimes and calcium, iron and DHA supplements prescribed by the gynae. Nothing special in my diet.
All of us here had different bad experiences but hopefully we learn from one another and all will be smooth.
I did not do many things unique for this pregnancy since I didn't do anything wrong for the previous ones. They were just pure luck (unlucky)!
However, I am more superstitious this time. I used to attend weddings and funerals, and was not pang tang at all. This time round, I just kept quiet and did not attend any events, not even contributing ang pows.
I am still faithful to the gynae who saw me from the 1st pregnancy. If you do not mind a male non-Chinese gynae, PM me and I can let you know the details. We are really comfortable with him so we decided not to change gyane after the episodes. He was very happy for us too after the successful delivery that he visited our little one everyday himself.
I went through the jabs too, taking the hormone pills orally too. I think it was these hormones that caused me severe headaches and vomitting. I never had such bad headaches in my entire life, almost as bad as contractions and even during sleep. I was on hospitalisation leave till week 14 and subsequently, I work only 4 days a week taking one day annual leave till week 36. This allowed me to rest while continue working - just have to be focused and discipline during work to complete all stuff within 4 working days. I commute by taxis too so that I will not be too tired.
We did CTG fortnightly from week 32 onwards. There was a paper written that although the heartbeat might be normal, some abnormalities can only be picked up during CTG. I was also very cautious to ensure that this little one kicked me frequently inside. I will even wake up in the middle of the night to ensure that he kicked me before going back to sleep - paranoid! Previously, there were very few movements that I did not even know he was gone till the routine checks.
I did not take any TMC once I knew I was pregnant. I heard that we should not "bu" in the first trimester and just made sure I had balance diet. I did take chicken essence sometimes and calcium, iron and DHA supplements prescribed by the gynae. Nothing special in my diet.
All of us here had different bad experiences but hopefully we learn from one another and all will be smooth.
stefie2104
Active Member
Hi Monster, Shiseiru,
we would have our chance okay
Jia You
Don't give up.
we would have our chance okay
Hi lucky3,
Bet u're enjoying motherhood.u deserve it.is it too much to ask u to share how u got thru' ur fear when the time of the previous stillbirth occurred? how did ur gynae monitor u? any near scares?
I like wat u said *hi5!* u said u did nothing wrong for the other preg u had.TRUE!!! i did nothing wrong too.that's y for preg no.2,i didn't do anything different.the only thing i allowed myself to do is to have more rest.coz i admit that i really pushed myself physically during the 1st preg.but that has nothing to do with the stillbirth.
yes,u r right when u said cannot 'bu' in 1st trimester.my TCM says so too.he advised (if i'm preg) to boil chic soup and drink.he said it helps increase the progesterone level.not normal boiling.buy whole chic,cut away head & neck,backside,rip off fats,double boil for 2hrs.i did that for cycle 1 of trying this time.coz he took my pulse and said fertilisation occurred (Better than western med,right? sometimes i don't know to belive or not),cannot use herbs anymore.so alternate days,i make chic essence.i know how much a whole chic cost now.i want to buy many chics,rip everything off and freeze it.then take out & boil.but hubby insists on using fresh chic.so he will go buy every alternate day.i'm so bz at work.he's a bit less bz now,so he rips everything off the chic and boil the essence for me.i appreciated that,but still no gd news YET! i'm saying YET=i'm still hopeful.hubby is such an expert in processing the chic,he can do it in 5 mins.he even figured out the easiest way to do it.haha...
Bet u're enjoying motherhood.u deserve it.is it too much to ask u to share how u got thru' ur fear when the time of the previous stillbirth occurred? how did ur gynae monitor u? any near scares?
I like wat u said *hi5!* u said u did nothing wrong for the other preg u had.TRUE!!! i did nothing wrong too.that's y for preg no.2,i didn't do anything different.the only thing i allowed myself to do is to have more rest.coz i admit that i really pushed myself physically during the 1st preg.but that has nothing to do with the stillbirth.
yes,u r right when u said cannot 'bu' in 1st trimester.my TCM says so too.he advised (if i'm preg) to boil chic soup and drink.he said it helps increase the progesterone level.not normal boiling.buy whole chic,cut away head & neck,backside,rip off fats,double boil for 2hrs.i did that for cycle 1 of trying this time.coz he took my pulse and said fertilisation occurred (Better than western med,right? sometimes i don't know to belive or not),cannot use herbs anymore.so alternate days,i make chic essence.i know how much a whole chic cost now.i want to buy many chics,rip everything off and freeze it.then take out & boil.but hubby insists on using fresh chic.so he will go buy every alternate day.i'm so bz at work.he's a bit less bz now,so he rips everything off the chic and boil the essence for me.i appreciated that,but still no gd news YET! i'm saying YET=i'm still hopeful.hubby is such an expert in processing the chic,he can do it in 5 mins.he even figured out the easiest way to do it.haha...
twinkle_33
New Member
Monster,
It must be devastating to lost your girl at 29 weeks ... True, some people just don't understand the agony we've gone thru and made certain remarks which can be painful to us. But when I think back...they just want us to encourage us to move on and look forward.
I've decided to move forward as well (I really thot I'm going to lost my sanity)...now trying to lost 5kgs by eating healthily and be more active physically. Honestly, I still question myself whether I can conceive again....but hubby say whether have kids or not it's all rite cos we'll be happy in any way we are.
It must be devastating to lost your girl at 29 weeks ... True, some people just don't understand the agony we've gone thru and made certain remarks which can be painful to us. But when I think back...they just want us to encourage us to move on and look forward.
I've decided to move forward as well (I really thot I'm going to lost my sanity)...now trying to lost 5kgs by eating healthily and be more active physically. Honestly, I still question myself whether I can conceive again....but hubby say whether have kids or not it's all rite cos we'll be happy in any way we are.
shiseru
Active Member
Yeng so happy to hear from you! How are you coping, my dear... today is my day 10 and I tested with OPK but negative BOO :'( But nevermind I will still go ahead and get lovey dovey with hubby tonight 
I also need to shed off 5kgs to return to my pre-pregnancy weight, so taking aerobic and belly dancing + healthy diet. Yeng, we have been pregnant before of coz we can conceive. The only thing we need to overcome is FEAR!
Yeng, we are organizing a meet up with Monster and a few others who had went through the same experience (m/c) but are now sharing a common goal (TTC) I wonder if you can join us on one of the Friday evening? I think you and me can get along pretty well haha ^^
stefie, chewy, loveym, lucky, would you be interested? Well, drop me an email [email protected]
I also need to shed off 5kgs to return to my pre-pregnancy weight, so taking aerobic and belly dancing + healthy diet. Yeng, we have been pregnant before of coz we can conceive. The only thing we need to overcome is FEAR!
Yeng, we are organizing a meet up with Monster and a few others who had went through the same experience (m/c) but are now sharing a common goal (TTC) I wonder if you can join us on one of the Friday evening? I think you and me can get along pretty well haha ^^
stefie, chewy, loveym, lucky, would you be interested? Well, drop me an email [email protected]
twinkle_33
New Member
Shiseru,
After MC, I've lost 2kgs compare to my pre-pregnancy weight ...But still have to lost weight cos me overweight lah. Read that being overweight can hinder our fertility as well.
FEAR = False Evidence About Reality
I'll send you an e-mail later.
After MC, I've lost 2kgs compare to my pre-pregnancy weight ...But still have to lost weight cos me overweight lah.
Read that being overweight can hinder our fertility as well. FEAR = False Evidence About Reality
I'll send you an e-mail later.
shiseru
Active Member
FEAR = False Evidence About Reality (WELL SAID!)
OMG Yeng, you sure made my day! ^^
I also lost 2 kgs only, pek chek now consider a little overweight. So difficult to lose weight, must be becoz I kept eating and gained excess during pregnancy! >_< Yeah being overweight can be an impact to TTC, and may have complications during pregnancy. Argh so let's work harder haha..
OMG Yeng, you sure made my day! ^^
I also lost 2 kgs only, pek chek now consider a little overweight. So difficult to lose weight, must be becoz I kept eating and gained excess during pregnancy! >_< Yeah being overweight can be an impact to TTC, and may have complications during pregnancy. Argh so let's work harder haha..
mkchewy
Member
Shiseru,
just drop you an email .. ThX
Ladies,
I didn't care abt the weight now. The more I wanted to lose.. I put on slightly. So now, just stay healthy and active.. which I think is the most important. My Dr warn me of dieting and losing too much weight during TTC. He mentioned it's bad for the body. Just eat well, stay healthy and exercise regularly.
just drop you an email .. ThX
Ladies,
I didn't care abt the weight now. The more I wanted to lose.. I put on slightly. So now, just stay healthy and active.. which I think is the most important. My Dr warn me of dieting and losing too much weight during TTC. He mentioned it's bad for the body. Just eat well, stay healthy and exercise regularly.
shiseru
Active Member
Yeah I got it! ^^
I know cannot diet, and i really watch what i eat now. I am taking lotsa veggie especially broccoli and oranges, which is high in folate. Cutting down all the fried stuffs and junk food lohz... I think we are all putting in effort, I hope we'll be bless with healthy babies~
I know cannot diet, and i really watch what i eat now. I am taking lotsa veggie especially broccoli and oranges, which is high in folate. Cutting down all the fried stuffs and junk food lohz... I think we are all putting in effort, I hope we'll be bless with healthy babies~
twinkle_33
New Member
True...true...my GP oso tell me eat healthy + exercise + increase food varieties in our intake. No extreme diet during TCC.
I'm trying to take tonic once a week now but know nothing about it (I'm currently buying those pre-packed from Eu Yan Sang). Anyone have recipe to share?
I'm trying to take tonic once a week now but know nothing about it (I'm currently buying those pre-packed from Eu Yan Sang). Anyone have recipe to share?
mkchewy
Member
Yes.. We are doing all we can just to have a healthy babies to bring home..
"Believe in your Heart that something wonderful is about to Happen"
I didn't take any tonic so far as I'm seeking treatment from a Chinese Physician. She will guide me the foods to take weekly when I see her. I love those herbal soups.. but accordingly to her I can't take some of them. Just remember once you strike BFP+ do not take the Shi Xuan Da Bu Tang.
"Believe in your Heart that something wonderful is about to Happen"
I didn't take any tonic so far as I'm seeking treatment from a Chinese Physician. She will guide me the foods to take weekly when I see her. I love those herbal soups.. but accordingly to her I can't take some of them. Just remember once you strike BFP+ do not take the Shi Xuan Da Bu Tang.
mildstrawberry
Member
hi shiseru and chewy
i am also thinking that 1st semester should not take any TCM to avoid bleeding. But then, my sinseh blamed me of not taking her medicine during my early pregnancy thus cause miscarriage. And some of the ladies here also taking 'an tai yao' from TCm in early pregnancy.
not sure which one to follow.
i am also thinking that 1st semester should not take any TCM to avoid bleeding. But then, my sinseh blamed me of not taking her medicine during my early pregnancy thus cause miscarriage. And some of the ladies here also taking 'an tai yao' from TCm in early pregnancy.
not sure which one to follow.
kkf
Active Member
chanced upon this thread. not sure if i posted before, but just to encourage all the mummies here to jiayou!
I have been thru the lost of my baby at 23 weeks plus before. the fustrations, the bitterness, the anger, the self blame, the sadness, and the so many mixed feelings at that time.
But I was lucky, cause he was with us for two days in NICU before he left us. He was a true fighter. He was borned very premature, but the doctors decided to try saving him, so he was in hospital for 2 days. Btw, I still remember very very clearly, he left us on christmas day 3am in the morning.
Now I am a mummy to 2 kids plus 1 up in heaven. It is not easy for me to have the other 2 kids, as they are born premature as well, one at 27 weeks, the other at 34 weeks, but I am bless to have them. I rested a lot, and went thru lots of injections like u all, and of course non-stop worrying, especially for my 3rd child.
Life is never smooth sailing. I guess we are just those few unlucky ones.
I had kept a blog for my eldest boy in memory of him, i find that it helps a lot to ease my pains.
you may like to do that too.
http://jared.ido.per.sg/
(a bit of problem with the chinese wordings)
I truely wish all mummies here the very best, and hope all of you will be bless with children besides you like me very very very soon.
Btw, i will like to recommend dr ann tan from mount E to you. She is good with high risk pregnancy. I was seeing her for my 3rd pregnancy.
I have been thru the lost of my baby at 23 weeks plus before. the fustrations, the bitterness, the anger, the self blame, the sadness, and the so many mixed feelings at that time.
But I was lucky, cause he was with us for two days in NICU before he left us. He was a true fighter. He was borned very premature, but the doctors decided to try saving him, so he was in hospital for 2 days. Btw, I still remember very very clearly, he left us on christmas day 3am in the morning.
Now I am a mummy to 2 kids plus 1 up in heaven. It is not easy for me to have the other 2 kids, as they are born premature as well, one at 27 weeks, the other at 34 weeks, but I am bless to have them. I rested a lot, and went thru lots of injections like u all, and of course non-stop worrying, especially for my 3rd child.
Life is never smooth sailing. I guess we are just those few unlucky ones.
I had kept a blog for my eldest boy in memory of him, i find that it helps a lot to ease my pains.
you may like to do that too.
http://jared.ido.per.sg/
(a bit of problem with the chinese wordings)
I truely wish all mummies here the very best, and hope all of you will be bless with children besides you like me very very very soon.
Btw, i will like to recommend dr ann tan from mount E to you. She is good with high risk pregnancy. I was seeing her for my 3rd pregnancy.
shiseru
Active Member
kkf, thanks for sharing your story with us, made me tear when I looked at your blog...
Yes, life is never smooth sailing, i guess we will have to take one day at a time.
Ann Tan was the doctor whom we seek 2nd opinion before we decide whether to terminate the pregnancy. She now has her own clinic at Paragon, her clinic has awesome 4D scan machine, very high tech and very clear during the scanning, and she seems very professional and experience. She is very costly but I must say it's all worth it.
I would go back to KK, but will arrange a seperate scanning with Ann Tan during the 11 weeks and 20 weeks if I manage to conceive again.
Thanks for your post of encouragement.
Yes, life is never smooth sailing, i guess we will have to take one day at a time.
Ann Tan was the doctor whom we seek 2nd opinion before we decide whether to terminate the pregnancy. She now has her own clinic at Paragon, her clinic has awesome 4D scan machine, very high tech and very clear during the scanning, and she seems very professional and experience. She is very costly but I must say it's all worth it.
I would go back to KK, but will arrange a seperate scanning with Ann Tan during the 11 weeks and 20 weeks if I manage to conceive again.
Thanks for your post of encouragement.
kkf
Active Member
Yes, shiseru, thats a good choice. i did the same too, seeing kkh gynae plus ann tan. Ann tan is really costly, i always told my husband, each visit can buy add up to one coach bag. But KKH scanning side is rather lousy, unlike dr ann tan clinic. I also feel safer to be scan by ann tan.
wish u all the best as well as other mummies still waiting for your angels to be back with you as your living children.
Thats what I always see in my two other kids...
wish u all the best as well as other mummies still waiting for your angels to be back with you as your living children.
Thats what I always see in my two other kids...
shiseru
Active Member
thank you kkf, I did come across your post, i know you had premature labor and lost your first boy at 23 weeks, I am sorry to hear that. But i am glad your 2nd boy, although borned premature as well, is healthy and doing well.. and very happy to know you succeeded in your 3rd pregnancy too.
You consulted Ann Tan too during your 3rd pregnancy while following up with KKH? At what weeks do you have a seperate scan with Ann Tan? Was Ann Tan aware about it? Who is your gynae at KKH? Mine was Dr KT Tan.
The downturn of government hospitals, they are systematic, 11 weeks check nachal bone and fluid behind neck only, while private hospitals will scan the baby's organs and overall as early as 11 weeks!
You consulted Ann Tan too during your 3rd pregnancy while following up with KKH? At what weeks do you have a seperate scan with Ann Tan? Was Ann Tan aware about it? Who is your gynae at KKH? Mine was Dr KT Tan.
The downturn of government hospitals, they are systematic, 11 weeks check nachal bone and fluid behind neck only, while private hospitals will scan the baby's organs and overall as early as 11 weeks!
Hi kkf,
i think u're in the premature babies thread and the stillbirth thread? i've seen u b4 in other threads.i do rem ur jared.i really think it was the stillbirth thread.u know,i'm moving on quite well with life.i'm really scared to read the stillbirth thread again,coz i know it'll bring back memories,the pain esp.now i juz accept that my angel is in heaven,coz she's not meant to be part of us.i cried after reading ur 1st post.but congratulations on having 2 healthy children,and 1 special one who is in heaven.like u,my chloe will always have a special place in my heart,always.and she will always be part of our fam
i think u're in the premature babies thread and the stillbirth thread? i've seen u b4 in other threads.i do rem ur jared.i really think it was the stillbirth thread.u know,i'm moving on quite well with life.i'm really scared to read the stillbirth thread again,coz i know it'll bring back memories,the pain esp.now i juz accept that my angel is in heaven,coz she's not meant to be part of us.i cried after reading ur 1st post.but congratulations on having 2 healthy children,and 1 special one who is in heaven.like u,my chloe will always have a special place in my heart,always.and she will always be part of our fam
kkf
Active Member
Hi shiseru and monster, yes i was active in premature babies thread, cause i had 3 premature labor...sigh, I always feel that I am like an alien, cause seems like I have an odd body, just can't carry my babies to full term, and cause them to suffer so much, esp my eldest and 2nd boys.
Shiseru, actually I consulted ann tan right fr beginning of pregnancy till 29 weeks. At week 29, I had contractions and was risk of premature labor, so went to kkh emergency, and they admitted me for a week. I was under subsidised ward Class C cause they said it is better and cheaper for me and baby if I gave birth prematurely again. So from week 29 onwards, I see both dr ann tan and kkh gynae to follow up, also to keep a record with them, as if i go into labor anytime, can admit myself to kkh to save costs, else if I gave birth in mount E got to sell my house to pay for the baby hospital stay, I think. Thats what ann tan's admin staff told me.
Anyway, I was under subsidised so my gynae at kkh is not fix doctor. The class C scan of pregnancy is really very very lousy, just hear the heartbeats and thats it.
I still prefer private gynae.
Monster, yes, we met in stillbirth thread before. I saw your latest post in the stillbirth thread. Your baby chloe will be back with you as your living child very soon.
Actually, for my 3rd pregnancy, wat i did is I waited for 2 years to try, and in the meantime, I went to ma kuang to tiao yang, and once i was pregnant, i took no pay to rest fully.
My case may be different from some of you, but I believe that with more carefulness in your next pregnancy, you will be able to succeed.
Shiseru, actually I consulted ann tan right fr beginning of pregnancy till 29 weeks. At week 29, I had contractions and was risk of premature labor, so went to kkh emergency, and they admitted me for a week. I was under subsidised ward Class C cause they said it is better and cheaper for me and baby if I gave birth prematurely again. So from week 29 onwards, I see both dr ann tan and kkh gynae to follow up, also to keep a record with them, as if i go into labor anytime, can admit myself to kkh to save costs, else if I gave birth in mount E got to sell my house to pay for the baby hospital stay, I think. Thats what ann tan's admin staff told me.
Anyway, I was under subsidised so my gynae at kkh is not fix doctor. The class C scan of pregnancy is really very very lousy, just hear the heartbeats and thats it.
I still prefer private gynae.
Monster, yes, we met in stillbirth thread before. I saw your latest post in the stillbirth thread. Your baby chloe will be back with you as your living child very soon.
Actually, for my 3rd pregnancy, wat i did is I waited for 2 years to try, and in the meantime, I went to ma kuang to tiao yang, and once i was pregnant, i took no pay to rest fully.
My case may be different from some of you, but I believe that with more carefulness in your next pregnancy, you will be able to succeed.
kkf
Active Member
I am really glad to have this thread and stillbirth thread, cause it is us who have lost our children before can understand each other.
Friends and colleague around me all have successful pregnancies and labors, sometimes, I am jealous, truely. I feel like why can they be so successful, even can go overseas to tour during pregnancies and nothing happen, and I have to go thru all these.
Glad to have this thread as I feel that we can be there for each other since we all have been thru the lost before.
Friends and colleague around me all have successful pregnancies and labors, sometimes, I am jealous, truely. I feel like why can they be so successful, even can go overseas to tour during pregnancies and nothing happen, and I have to go thru all these.
Glad to have this thread as I feel that we can be there for each other since we all have been thru the lost before.
shiseru
Active Member
kkf, it is true only those who went through the pain would understand. So I don't talk about it with my colleagues coz they have successful pregnancies or are still singles.
So you started seeing Ann Tan since beginning of pregnancy? How much did you pay per consultation? She is good but awfully expensive!
I thought I will go back to KKH since they have my record, but I will arrange a seperate session with Ann Tan to scan during the 11 weeks and 20 weeks if I am pregnant again. Do you mummies think this is a good idea?
I dun know if the defect, spina bifida can be detected before the 12 weeks, i think they can but my gynae said even if detected at such early stage, they can't anyhow ask you to abort as they will not know the severity of the defect, so I will still have to wait for the detailed scan conducted at 20 weeks of pregnancy. It really sucks to hear this!
To carry the baby till 20 weeks and then end it, the pain is too much to bear.
Did you take any TCM or medicine to conceive again after your 1st and 2nd pregnancy?
So you started seeing Ann Tan since beginning of pregnancy? How much did you pay per consultation? She is good but awfully expensive!
I thought I will go back to KKH since they have my record, but I will arrange a seperate session with Ann Tan to scan during the 11 weeks and 20 weeks if I am pregnant again. Do you mummies think this is a good idea?
I dun know if the defect, spina bifida can be detected before the 12 weeks, i think they can but my gynae said even if detected at such early stage, they can't anyhow ask you to abort as they will not know the severity of the defect, so I will still have to wait for the detailed scan conducted at 20 weeks of pregnancy. It really sucks to hear this!
To carry the baby till 20 weeks and then end it, the pain is too much to bear.
Did you take any TCM or medicine to conceive again after your 1st and 2nd pregnancy?
kkf
Active Member
Hi shiseru, per consulation for dr ann tan ranges minumum 300 if i remember correctly. She doesn't have package one, so i really paid for every consulation. worse, i am high risk, so got to see her twice per month at times, not once per month like others...
I think if you want, u shd go ann tan throughout your pregnancy? cause if she keeps scanning you every month, she can notice any unusual thing rather than 11 weeks and 20 weeks whereby she may not really able to compare and notice any different? But if you are with KKH private suite gynaes, think it shd be ok...
Yes, carry baby till 20 weeks is already halfway thru the pregnancy, really hard to bear.
I did go Ma kuang after 2nd pregnancy but its on and off.
I think if you want, u shd go ann tan throughout your pregnancy? cause if she keeps scanning you every month, she can notice any unusual thing rather than 11 weeks and 20 weeks whereby she may not really able to compare and notice any different? But if you are with KKH private suite gynaes, think it shd be ok...
Yes, carry baby till 20 weeks is already halfway thru the pregnancy, really hard to bear.
I did go Ma kuang after 2nd pregnancy but its on and off.
shiseru
Active Member
kkf, thanks for the info. OMG 300 per consultation so you are spending around 600 per month!
I am with KK Private suite, DR KT Tan is the head of department. Think I am really "suay" that this happened on us. Becoz KK has my record so I would think going back to my gynae would be better, but perhaps schedule 3-4 times scan with Ann Tan.
How do you feel about TCM since you have taken them before. Is it really good? Does it helps?
I am with KK Private suite, DR KT Tan is the head of department. Think I am really "suay" that this happened on us. Becoz KK has my record so I would think going back to my gynae would be better, but perhaps schedule 3-4 times scan with Ann Tan.
How do you feel about TCM since you have taken them before. Is it really good? Does it helps?
kkf
Active Member
Hi shiseru, not too sure whether TCM helps. but can give it a try. At least, we did our best to do watever we can. Try building up ur health, and actually, i feel that the best is once u get preggy, u must completely rest more. If you can wait, it is best to wait for 1 or 2 years before u try another.
I did not wait that long for my 2nd, after giving birth to my 1st, I tried for 2nd after 3 months, and in the end, ended up born 27 weeks prematurely too. My 3rd, I waited 2 years, and eventually can tarhan till 34 weeks plus. So I think giving the body enough rest is quite important. In the meantime while resting ur body, u can take some Chinese herbs to tiao yang.
I did not wait that long for my 2nd, after giving birth to my 1st, I tried for 2nd after 3 months, and in the end, ended up born 27 weeks prematurely too. My 3rd, I waited 2 years, and eventually can tarhan till 34 weeks plus. So I think giving the body enough rest is quite important. In the meantime while resting ur body, u can take some Chinese herbs to tiao yang.
Hi ladies,
I need to share...i've been having huge fam problems with my sis.she's dating a man 23 yrs older (twice divorced somemore!)& my parents violently disapprove.my parents reaction is so drastic and they can't even think logically.inadvetably,i'm involved.i've told my sis so many times.i always tell her if u r a mother,and u can't do anything to help ur child,u'll know how i feel.and i'm referring to the stillbirth.i told her that again today over msn (she's not in s'pore at the moment),and i cried so much coz it brought back memories of the stillbirth,the helplessness,that stabbing pain,that feeling of wanting to scream,but it will never change anything.worse still,tom is my expected AF date & i tested today.sigh...one line.i did something that i've been trying very hard not to do coz i want to recover.i took out the photo album and i cried even more.she was totally formed,she looked like any other babies,juz that she hasn't had a chance to open her eyes to see ths world.i've been trying very hard to rebuild my life.it's a lot better now,but it will never be the same again.
my cousin went to US to visit another cousin who's girl was born on my b'day.she's now 1.and i saw how she looked like for the 1st time.well,honestly (& this is not sour grapes),she doesn't look cute.her hair looks like david letterman's! she has 2 bald patches on each side.& this cousin said our sousin in law is a 24/7 mum,she is with her daughter all the time.i rolled my eyes.i will do so much more for my child.i will look more lovingly at my child than any other mothers.i haf tot to myself,coz hubby & I have spoken abt this b4.i asked who he will save if he has to make a choice.he said he will save me.i was happy,that was b4 all this happened.but now,i told him he should save the baby.i already had a chance to live a beautiful life in this world,give the baby a chance.if i have to tell the doc,i will tell the doc that if she saves me,the baby will have no chance.if she saves the baby,i will fight for my life,coz i want to see my baby.sigh...if only i have this fighting spirit for ttc.i'm getting so tired of repeated failures,i don't know where i am going to find strength in myself to keep trying.& at wat stage does one give in to fate? i c my coursemate being preg & i would love to feel her tiredness,i would love to throw my guts out,i would love to put on wt.i really wish i have the chance.i had the chance twice,but it didn't work out.& i wished i had more appreciation fr my hubby.my cousin bought me a vase & flowers for my b'day.& she said my hubby should get me flowers every wk.i told her i think the only time he will get me flowers every wk is if he visits me grave.sigh.if i can't change ppl (i never expected to change him,but i never expected him to change!)should i be reflecting on myself & compromising? i really wonder...
I need to share...i've been having huge fam problems with my sis.she's dating a man 23 yrs older (twice divorced somemore!)& my parents violently disapprove.my parents reaction is so drastic and they can't even think logically.inadvetably,i'm involved.i've told my sis so many times.i always tell her if u r a mother,and u can't do anything to help ur child,u'll know how i feel.and i'm referring to the stillbirth.i told her that again today over msn (she's not in s'pore at the moment),and i cried so much coz it brought back memories of the stillbirth,the helplessness,that stabbing pain,that feeling of wanting to scream,but it will never change anything.worse still,tom is my expected AF date & i tested today.sigh...one line.i did something that i've been trying very hard not to do coz i want to recover.i took out the photo album and i cried even more.she was totally formed,she looked like any other babies,juz that she hasn't had a chance to open her eyes to see ths world.i've been trying very hard to rebuild my life.it's a lot better now,but it will never be the same again.
my cousin went to US to visit another cousin who's girl was born on my b'day.she's now 1.and i saw how she looked like for the 1st time.well,honestly (& this is not sour grapes),she doesn't look cute.her hair looks like david letterman's! she has 2 bald patches on each side.& this cousin said our sousin in law is a 24/7 mum,she is with her daughter all the time.i rolled my eyes.i will do so much more for my child.i will look more lovingly at my child than any other mothers.i haf tot to myself,coz hubby & I have spoken abt this b4.i asked who he will save if he has to make a choice.he said he will save me.i was happy,that was b4 all this happened.but now,i told him he should save the baby.i already had a chance to live a beautiful life in this world,give the baby a chance.if i have to tell the doc,i will tell the doc that if she saves me,the baby will have no chance.if she saves the baby,i will fight for my life,coz i want to see my baby.sigh...if only i have this fighting spirit for ttc.i'm getting so tired of repeated failures,i don't know where i am going to find strength in myself to keep trying.& at wat stage does one give in to fate? i c my coursemate being preg & i would love to feel her tiredness,i would love to throw my guts out,i would love to put on wt.i really wish i have the chance.i had the chance twice,but it didn't work out.& i wished i had more appreciation fr my hubby.my cousin bought me a vase & flowers for my b'day.& she said my hubby should get me flowers every wk.i told her i think the only time he will get me flowers every wk is if he visits me grave.sigh.if i can't change ppl (i never expected to change him,but i never expected him to change!)should i be reflecting on myself & compromising? i really wonder...
kkf
Active Member
shiseru, yes, understand totally. my advice to u is to try TCM, and build up ur health. You will be bless with ur own living child very very soon. My best wishes to u.
Monster, can sense ur fustrations, pains, sadness etc thru ur post. I totally understand how u feel. I had photos of my eldest boy too. I posted in the website we created for him. Whenever i saw the photos, I felt pains too. It was a feeling that would never pass. I also at times really feel jealous of others who want to have as many kids as they want with no difficulty at all. I envy them, even jealous. I will love to have smooth pregnancies too. I wish to be like other women, but I have just a weird body, 3 premature labors.
Anyway, I do understand the pains u r going thru.
Talking about hubby, i was just angry with mine for not doing much on my birthday. He didn't plan much, just bought a cake and da bao swensens food for me. Very unromantic, and i was complaining and angry for the whole day yesterday on my birthday. But I guess, some guys are just like that.Honestly, only unromantic guys can stay trueful to you forever, cause romantic guys can think of how to attract women, and may go stray.
We should be contended with our own hubbys who love us in a different way, and using their own ways...(telling and persuading myself)>
Monster, can sense ur fustrations, pains, sadness etc thru ur post. I totally understand how u feel. I had photos of my eldest boy too. I posted in the website we created for him. Whenever i saw the photos, I felt pains too. It was a feeling that would never pass. I also at times really feel jealous of others who want to have as many kids as they want with no difficulty at all. I envy them, even jealous. I will love to have smooth pregnancies too. I wish to be like other women, but I have just a weird body, 3 premature labors.
Anyway, I do understand the pains u r going thru.
Talking about hubby, i was just angry with mine for not doing much on my birthday. He didn't plan much, just bought a cake and da bao swensens food for me. Very unromantic, and i was complaining and angry for the whole day yesterday on my birthday. But I guess, some guys are just like that.Honestly, only unromantic guys can stay trueful to you forever, cause romantic guys can think of how to attract women, and may go stray.
We should be contended with our own hubbys who love us in a different way, and using their own ways...(telling and persuading myself)>
kkf
Active Member
I used to think I will not ever have anymore child after my 2nd boy was borned prematurely again at 27 weeks. I used to think of other options, to adopt. eventually I wanted to try. I told myself even if I failed again, baby came out prematurely again (might even not live), thats my fate, but at least I know I tried. I knew I would bring sufferings to my little one, but I know he/she will understand how much I have tried to have him/her and will not blame me.
I am really grateful to buddhas (I am a buddhist) that they heard my wishes, and granted me with my girl, though premature too, but at least 34 weeks not too bad.
I believe your perservarance, your sincerety will be heard. you all will be grant with ur very own living children, definietly.
I am really grateful to buddhas (I am a buddhist) that they heard my wishes, and granted me with my girl, though premature too, but at least 34 weeks not too bad.
I believe your perservarance, your sincerety will be heard. you all will be grant with ur very own living children, definietly.
shiseru
Active Member
kkf, me also buddist, I pray hard they will bless me and all the mummies here to have healthy babies very soon! Thank you for your encouragement. Yes, there will be sunshine after the rain.
I am here to drop a message:-
Mummies who participate in the gathering tomorrow. Our venue is confirmed at Sakura Orchard! I have called to make reservation for 7 pax. Please email or sms me your hp number incase you need to contact me or vice versa.
I am here to drop a message:-
Mummies who participate in the gathering tomorrow. Our venue is confirmed at Sakura Orchard! I have called to make reservation for 7 pax. Please email or sms me your hp number incase you need to contact me or vice versa.