poor Ah ma builled by DIL

[sherrylim]

Many of us knw that we have to take care of our parents when they are old even if we dont have the time we try to find alternatives.
However they are a few unfortunate ones..

Since last yr i noticed this ah ma sitting lift at the blk im stayin every mornin since 7 till 4plus. Be it haze or cold period, shes always report there. I didnt think so much so every day i wld ask my kids to greet her..

Today, i found out what really happened to her. My neighbor had been chatting with her n she told me what happened..
This ah ma got 8 kids, 4 gals n 4 boys. Her 2 dd married to overseas.only 1 of the dd stayin oversea gave her $300 every mth to see doc. Her 4 sons were afraid of their wife so they nvr give her any allowance. ,

However she is stayin with 1 of the son whom stayin at my blk. But according to my neighbor, she had been slping on sofa in the living rm, DIL nvr prepare meals for her, wants her to throw rubbish n do hse work. Ah ma got diebeties but becoz she got no extra $ she cannot afford to.see doc if she falls sick.
My neighbor had been giving her food ever since she found out her condition, my neigbour wanted to.ask foe help from gov but she is afraid that ah ma doesnt wan to. As she is afraid her DIL will scold. Her.

Any one can advice how i shld help.this ah ma?


So d

 

[Kiernn]

thanks for sharing, sherry.

it is very disgusting to hear cases like this. I think there are more and more of such cases around. Somehow people always take their parents for granted.

But actually I think we can't help much as an outsider. I think there are forms for old people to get subsidies, however the thing is the government often look into the household income of the family that the old people stay in. So if this son's doing well, she might not get the subsidy.

I think other ways that you can opt to help is to offer bringing her to see doc so that you can help in translation, or etc. Or perhaps offer food to her, as well as a listening ear.

 

[sherrylim]

Thanks Kiernn for yr advice.

Ya, its family matters n we cant do much. Spoken to.this ah ma yst, she actually wanted to.go day care rather than staying at hm becoz her nasty Dil will ask her to do hsework or nag at her.
She say she got 8 children n 7 grandchildren. So far only 1 dd gave her $300 every mth n 7grandchildren gave her $100 every mth. Sigh the grandchilden she is stayin。
with earn 6k n is givng this small amt...

Luckily our blk got these bunch of nice ppl. They shower ah ma with food n concern...

I jus hope these ppl.got karma...

人在做天在看。。。

 

[Kiernn]

Yeah, totally agree Sherry. And yes, well.. I don't know if these people will get karma, but I hope they do reflect that they will be old one day and they might need assistance here and there too.

Yes, i think for neighbours, you all can only lend a listening ear or maybe accompany her to visit doctor. Afterall, it is difficult for old folks to go hospitals on their own.

 

[diorsnow]

I feel really sad seeing these lonely old people... They've slogged hard all their lives (Life were much tougher back then) working hard for their family and raise up all the children. Its really sad seeing these children grown up without filial piety. How could they bear to treat their parents like that... Hais.. Actually old people are very simple, they just wan someone (especially their children n grandchildren) to be by their side, talk to them, listen to their stories...

 

[Kiernn]

totally agree, @diorsnow .. I guess everyone is too occupied with meeting their expectations in life and forgot about small little stuff like how they were brought up, time with family, till family members leave them one by one. I often feel that youngsters always take for granted that their parents are always there for them and with our lifestyle, everyone become very self-centered. So when the parents finally leave them for good, they cry out loud and say all the regrets.

 

[september]

This is so upsetting.....and Sherry, u are really kind to be helping the old ah ma. hope she hv people to take good care of her soon.

 

[sherrylim]

Every morn when i send my kids to sch, she is sitting at the lift lobby. Very gey sim to see her sitting on the cold hard ceremic lo. Last wk when she tok abt her children she teared, so my neighbor quickly changed subj.

I told my hubby abt this, he say old ppl can only believe half. Becoz my hubby's pateral grandmother (late 80s) dont like her Dil whose taking her of her right now so kept on complain abt her.

Anyway, we cant do much on this becoz ah ma children n grandchildren are earning alot. Well i just try to feed ah ma wats gd for her health.

Any body, wat shld a diabetes avoid n what shld they take?

 

[Kiernn]

Hmmm, yes.. I cannot deny what your hubby said. But sometimes, when we see this side of the old people, we feel sorry for them.

Anyway for a diabetic patient, it is really tricky. Nonetheless in short, they have to eat more meals but in small portions each time. My grandma had to take diabetic meds each day, any idea how's the meds arrangement for this old folk?
Because if diabetic is not controlled, it can lead to a lot of complications. You need to tell her to becareful while walking or moving around as patients with high diabetics might not feel cuts on their body when they have it, especially on the feet. (Recommend her to wear shoes or slippers, even at home) .. And they tend to take longer than usual to have their wounds healed. So ya..

http://www.hpb.gov.sg/HOPPortal/health-article/10540

 

[mrsgg]

It's not so much as the truth of what she says, but the fact that her tears show her genuine sadness abt her children. I believe your care and concern for her will go a long way... at least she will not feel tt she's totally alone in this world.

 

[toblerone]

在一般人的眼里，阿嫲是可怜值得同情。但是。有学佛吃素的人会明白这个是因果。

前世对人怎么不好，今世就swap position. 前世怎么对人家，今世就偿还。上天是很公平。

老师写了不少因果，可以参考（right click）

 

[toblerone]

I jus hope these ppl.got karma...
人在做天在看。。。

欲知前世因,今生受者是,
欲知后世果,今生作者是。

Yeah, totally agree Sherry. And yes, well.. I don't know if these people will get karma, but I hope they do reflect that they will be old one day and they might need assistance here and there too.

家家有本难念的经。

 

[toblerone]

Yes, i think for neighbours, you all can only lend a listening ear or maybe accompany her to visit doctor. Afterall, it is difficult for old folks to go hospitals on their own.

没错。就是听对方诉苦。

家事嘛... 来龙去脉外人是不知道的。

 

[toblerone]

老师认识一个人，她弟弟念到了‘A’ Level之后，精神状况出问题。医学上是后天发病（精神分裂症）。实际上，是她妈妈十多年前堕胎后，灵性跑到她儿子身上了。超度都难了。老师写了不少有关堕胎、流产的果报。有兴趣者，可以阅读（click）。

因果长眼睛的，不管是好人坏人都报。Mentioned in the past postings.