I turned 30 this year, and it has been the worst period of my life. I came to realize that marriage & a happy family doesn't just happen, neither do they just last because it has to. They last a lifetime because both parties make effort to keep them going. And if either one doesn't , it'll go bust.
On February 19 this year, my ex-husband EW and I signed the divorce papers. The divorce terms stated me giving up custody of my children, aged 3 and 5, to him. In addition, it also stated that I would transfer the flat to him at no cost , ie, no CPF monies to be returned to me. To top it off, I would have to continue paying him over $1000 for the kids' expenses. The 30 minute session at the law firm was nothing less than hell. My parents were bombarding my phone threatening me not to sign the papers. EW asked me again if i was sure i was gonna sign them. I was drenched in tears while the lawyer asked if i knew what i was signing. I nodded my head but I didn't actually really let the terms and conditions sink in. I just wanted to get myself out of the torture.
I signed it any way, and took a picture of the document with my signature and sent it to my dad in spite. Never did i know that the road to an emotional rollercoaster ride was just beginning.
I had an affair with a guy, WP, 7 years my junior since October last year. EW found out just about 2 weeks after we started, and there were much tears and anguish. I started feeling guilty, and started lying to both guys in a feeble attempt to keep both. Obviously, it didn't work and lies were exposed. Insecurities crept up.
7 months later, EW got attached. I felt offended initially but soon got over it. I could have caught them in bed, but unfortunately the door was locked. I actually didn't mind seeing that scene - both of them coming out of the room together. I still smiled, while EW asked me how my competition went. They were heading out, so i sent them off and closed the door after them.
Violence came into the picture soon after. EW slapped me 4 times on an occasion so hard that i fell onto the pavement, and my ear drum was damaged but fortunately the doctor said I would recover. On another occasion WP found out i was lying and he got so infuriated he kicked, strangled and pushed me.
Friends told me to leave both their lives and focus on my children.
It's been almost year and I'm still with WP. EW and I also signed a new court order stating that he'd give me the kids and the house. He told me he was tired of fighting. EW would be shifting out in a couple of days.
My relationship with WP has been far from what a relationship normally is. We quarrel literally everyday.. a few times a day - at work, after work. It has been stressful, draining and everything but happy. Because of insecurities he has been more than possessive, it suffocates me.
My kids like him. But they don't like him as much as EW's new girlfriend, whom is a single mum with a son of the same age as my elder daughter. Maybe that's why. But there may also be more to it, but they can't express it yet.
I don't know what's holding me back from giving up this relationship. Friends ask if i was afraid to be lonely. I asked myself if i was just afraid of feeling guilty after all that he did for me..
I get envious when i see happy families and happy couples. But i also told myself that I single handedly caused the downfall of everything. I had a choice to live the life i want, but i chose otherwise.
We always have choices.. we always do.
On February 19 this year, my ex-husband EW and I signed the divorce papers. The divorce terms stated me giving up custody of my children, aged 3 and 5, to him. In addition, it also stated that I would transfer the flat to him at no cost , ie, no CPF monies to be returned to me. To top it off, I would have to continue paying him over $1000 for the kids' expenses. The 30 minute session at the law firm was nothing less than hell. My parents were bombarding my phone threatening me not to sign the papers. EW asked me again if i was sure i was gonna sign them. I was drenched in tears while the lawyer asked if i knew what i was signing. I nodded my head but I didn't actually really let the terms and conditions sink in. I just wanted to get myself out of the torture.
I signed it any way, and took a picture of the document with my signature and sent it to my dad in spite. Never did i know that the road to an emotional rollercoaster ride was just beginning.
I had an affair with a guy, WP, 7 years my junior since October last year. EW found out just about 2 weeks after we started, and there were much tears and anguish. I started feeling guilty, and started lying to both guys in a feeble attempt to keep both. Obviously, it didn't work and lies were exposed. Insecurities crept up.
7 months later, EW got attached. I felt offended initially but soon got over it. I could have caught them in bed, but unfortunately the door was locked. I actually didn't mind seeing that scene - both of them coming out of the room together. I still smiled, while EW asked me how my competition went. They were heading out, so i sent them off and closed the door after them.
Violence came into the picture soon after. EW slapped me 4 times on an occasion so hard that i fell onto the pavement, and my ear drum was damaged but fortunately the doctor said I would recover. On another occasion WP found out i was lying and he got so infuriated he kicked, strangled and pushed me.
Friends told me to leave both their lives and focus on my children.
It's been almost year and I'm still with WP. EW and I also signed a new court order stating that he'd give me the kids and the house. He told me he was tired of fighting. EW would be shifting out in a couple of days.
My relationship with WP has been far from what a relationship normally is. We quarrel literally everyday.. a few times a day - at work, after work. It has been stressful, draining and everything but happy. Because of insecurities he has been more than possessive, it suffocates me.
My kids like him. But they don't like him as much as EW's new girlfriend, whom is a single mum with a son of the same age as my elder daughter. Maybe that's why. But there may also be more to it, but they can't express it yet.
I don't know what's holding me back from giving up this relationship. Friends ask if i was afraid to be lonely. I asked myself if i was just afraid of feeling guilty after all that he did for me..
I get envious when i see happy families and happy couples. But i also told myself that I single handedly caused the downfall of everything. I had a choice to live the life i want, but i chose otherwise.
We always have choices.. we always do.