I engage PEM and have a confinement lady from March 21 to April 17. I was given this confinement lady named Wang Yu Yan with ID no. 704. She ask us to call her AH YAN! She is 42 years old. Mine was only her 5th case in Singapore. Although she say she have experience in Malaysia but I feel that she is not up to standard in a certain way!
She is a very stubborn woman and she love to talk back when we go against what she wants. The way she talk sometimes is very intolerable! The way she behaves in front of me and my husband and the way she behaves when my in laws are at home is different! I let her complete her service of 28 days because I feel that it might be a hassle to change to another CL and she had worked for about 2 weeks when her attitude slowly changes and she is getting lazier too. As she puts up a good show in front of my in laws, she gain good record from them. Well, perhaps she forget who is paying her and who she should really take care of.
Some incidents to share: We did mentioned that don't give pacifier to out child unnecessarily and we don't like the idea of it. He is still too young for it as it may causes nipple confusion. But I still see her giving him. I asked her why she say he is crying badly but the thing is that we did not hear him crying very badly! And she did not try to pacify him first before sticking the pacifier to him. I told her not to give him anymore and he cries for a reason only till no choice then we can give in to giving him it. She said ok but behind my back I still see her giving him! When relatives came to visit me she will tell them I don't allow her to give but she is still giving whenever! When I crept in to the room 1 night, I saw her putting him on the same mattress, lying beside her, and mouth sucking a pacifier I asked her why is he not on his cot she says that he keep moving around making her can't sleep and got to climb up to see him and this is making her very tired!! It happened again after days! Having the baby with her on e mattress is such a dangerous thing! She put baby on the edge while she sleeps in the inner part. What if baby turns or moves around and had his way falling to the floor? Or what if she is too tired and she toss and turned herself onto baby? She then kept telling my in law that in the middle of the night she wakes up every hour to feed or soothe the baby causing her having almost no sleep. In the afternoon, she have her naps for hours and throwing the baby to my arms and ignoring everything! Even when the baby suddenly screams and cries, she did not come to offer her help to help in soothing the baby. All these plays a part in making me not being able to rest during my confinement.
Next, in the beginning, when she bathes baby in the morning, baby will scream and cry. My mother in law touched the water and says it's too hot. She has quite a high level of tolerance of touching hot stuffs, even she feels that is hot so she told her. Standing at her own stand, she says it's not hot. It's normal. But baby still screech till the bath is over. I did touched the water myself and feels that it's hot and took a thermometer to measure before and it was 41°C. I did say her and even commenting that if she don't know the exact temperature to go, she can use the thermometer too. She say no need for that as she trust her own hands. After few days of that, my mother in law herself prepared the water for baby's bath herself and helped in bathing the baby in the morning. Because firstly the water is too hot made by her and secondly she cannot cope in bathing baby alone as he keeps kicking, rejecting the bath to take place and she cannot hold the baby well herself! After my mother in law prepares the water for baby's bath, baby did not even cry at all during his bath. So what does this proves?
Swaddling the baby is what we learnt at classes so that baby feels cosy and protected. So we asked the CL to swaddle him too. But she keeps claiming that baby like his hands outside, don't like to be swaddled. So she did not listen to us and just cover him with the blanket to sleep or sometimes she did 'swaddle' him, the body only. His legs and hands will still be dangling outside. Her reasons will be if not baby will be making noise and she have to climb up and down again! As baby always got a shock while sleeping, we keep asking her to let him sleep sideways but as being stubborn, she still lets the baby sleep openly facing up. She says that he will turn and make himself lying flat up again, well.... there's pillows given to her to use to support him to avoid turning, she doesn't want to use them. Correction, she did put the pillows there BUT not on the side of the baby but a slight distance away!
She is also a very proud lady. When saying something is right she will proudly say already say it. Eg.my son has jaundice and when we went back to see the doctor the doctor says no need to shine him anymore as he is recovering. Next day, I still see the CL sunning so I just say doctor say no need already then she say she feel that just continue shine is better. But few days later, his jaundice is back so we went to another PD. The PD say since jaundice is coming back and is not so high, we can suntan him to let him recover. The CL then say 'see,already told u suntan him you still say no need'. But after the 'no need' that I say, I still see her sunning him. So, what's the need for commenting and saying me for? A PD gave us rid wind medicine for him and I told her before give him half an hour before food. She agreed. Then, I still see her giving him the medicine and making him to sleep. So I asked if he is drinking anytime soon. She say no, I say the medicine is for him to eat half an hour before food and not eat to sleep. I say I told you before and you still 'orh' to me. She say I never say! I got angry and just say, it is written on the box itself!
In the beginning, she sleeps with the baby with door open, then after baby was hospitalize and back at home, she started closing the door when she sleeps at night. I did told her don't close but I still sees door closes. Everytime when I go in and leave the room, I will leave the door open but she still go and closes it. My hubby say let her be then I kept quiet about it! Well, who knows what is happening inside? Also, she likes to bottle feed the baby. When is time for milk she will not tell me but will own prepare the milk for him. She says bottle feeding will let her know how much he drinks!
The day before she left, my family came to pay a visit and commented about the house etc as it was their first time coming to my in laws place. The CL then told my mother in law about what they had say, commenting house is small BUT they were just commenting about a particular room. This matter made my mother in law unhappy and we only learnt about it from my father in law after the CL returns. She is in such good terms with my mother in law and trying to make her happy everytime. Anyhow creating stories that made my in law believes in her. Even before she goes, there is supposed to be a feedback form for us to comment on her service BUT I did not receive it. It was passed to my in laws and written by them back to her.
After she left, I found the PEM guidebook to each CL, I suppose. I read and realize that they should be smiley, apologise for their wrongs. Well, nothing was followed. She did not even let us check her luggage before leaving. After reading the book then I know she should ask us to check her bags. Hopefully she did not steal anything from the house.
I hope PEM will do some actions about her behavior an attitude. I do not wish other mummies out there to suffer what I had and making me sad during the crucial confinement period!
Regards,
Eugenia
She is a very stubborn woman and she love to talk back when we go against what she wants. The way she talk sometimes is very intolerable! The way she behaves in front of me and my husband and the way she behaves when my in laws are at home is different! I let her complete her service of 28 days because I feel that it might be a hassle to change to another CL and she had worked for about 2 weeks when her attitude slowly changes and she is getting lazier too. As she puts up a good show in front of my in laws, she gain good record from them. Well, perhaps she forget who is paying her and who she should really take care of.
Some incidents to share: We did mentioned that don't give pacifier to out child unnecessarily and we don't like the idea of it. He is still too young for it as it may causes nipple confusion. But I still see her giving him. I asked her why she say he is crying badly but the thing is that we did not hear him crying very badly! And she did not try to pacify him first before sticking the pacifier to him. I told her not to give him anymore and he cries for a reason only till no choice then we can give in to giving him it. She said ok but behind my back I still see her giving him! When relatives came to visit me she will tell them I don't allow her to give but she is still giving whenever! When I crept in to the room 1 night, I saw her putting him on the same mattress, lying beside her, and mouth sucking a pacifier I asked her why is he not on his cot she says that he keep moving around making her can't sleep and got to climb up to see him and this is making her very tired!! It happened again after days! Having the baby with her on e mattress is such a dangerous thing! She put baby on the edge while she sleeps in the inner part. What if baby turns or moves around and had his way falling to the floor? Or what if she is too tired and she toss and turned herself onto baby? She then kept telling my in law that in the middle of the night she wakes up every hour to feed or soothe the baby causing her having almost no sleep. In the afternoon, she have her naps for hours and throwing the baby to my arms and ignoring everything! Even when the baby suddenly screams and cries, she did not come to offer her help to help in soothing the baby. All these plays a part in making me not being able to rest during my confinement.
Next, in the beginning, when she bathes baby in the morning, baby will scream and cry. My mother in law touched the water and says it's too hot. She has quite a high level of tolerance of touching hot stuffs, even she feels that is hot so she told her. Standing at her own stand, she says it's not hot. It's normal. But baby still screech till the bath is over. I did touched the water myself and feels that it's hot and took a thermometer to measure before and it was 41°C. I did say her and even commenting that if she don't know the exact temperature to go, she can use the thermometer too. She say no need for that as she trust her own hands. After few days of that, my mother in law herself prepared the water for baby's bath herself and helped in bathing the baby in the morning. Because firstly the water is too hot made by her and secondly she cannot cope in bathing baby alone as he keeps kicking, rejecting the bath to take place and she cannot hold the baby well herself! After my mother in law prepares the water for baby's bath, baby did not even cry at all during his bath. So what does this proves?
Swaddling the baby is what we learnt at classes so that baby feels cosy and protected. So we asked the CL to swaddle him too. But she keeps claiming that baby like his hands outside, don't like to be swaddled. So she did not listen to us and just cover him with the blanket to sleep or sometimes she did 'swaddle' him, the body only. His legs and hands will still be dangling outside. Her reasons will be if not baby will be making noise and she have to climb up and down again! As baby always got a shock while sleeping, we keep asking her to let him sleep sideways but as being stubborn, she still lets the baby sleep openly facing up. She says that he will turn and make himself lying flat up again, well.... there's pillows given to her to use to support him to avoid turning, she doesn't want to use them. Correction, she did put the pillows there BUT not on the side of the baby but a slight distance away!
She is also a very proud lady. When saying something is right she will proudly say already say it. Eg.my son has jaundice and when we went back to see the doctor the doctor says no need to shine him anymore as he is recovering. Next day, I still see the CL sunning so I just say doctor say no need already then she say she feel that just continue shine is better. But few days later, his jaundice is back so we went to another PD. The PD say since jaundice is coming back and is not so high, we can suntan him to let him recover. The CL then say 'see,already told u suntan him you still say no need'. But after the 'no need' that I say, I still see her sunning him. So, what's the need for commenting and saying me for? A PD gave us rid wind medicine for him and I told her before give him half an hour before food. She agreed. Then, I still see her giving him the medicine and making him to sleep. So I asked if he is drinking anytime soon. She say no, I say the medicine is for him to eat half an hour before food and not eat to sleep. I say I told you before and you still 'orh' to me. She say I never say! I got angry and just say, it is written on the box itself!
In the beginning, she sleeps with the baby with door open, then after baby was hospitalize and back at home, she started closing the door when she sleeps at night. I did told her don't close but I still sees door closes. Everytime when I go in and leave the room, I will leave the door open but she still go and closes it. My hubby say let her be then I kept quiet about it! Well, who knows what is happening inside? Also, she likes to bottle feed the baby. When is time for milk she will not tell me but will own prepare the milk for him. She says bottle feeding will let her know how much he drinks!
The day before she left, my family came to pay a visit and commented about the house etc as it was their first time coming to my in laws place. The CL then told my mother in law about what they had say, commenting house is small BUT they were just commenting about a particular room. This matter made my mother in law unhappy and we only learnt about it from my father in law after the CL returns. She is in such good terms with my mother in law and trying to make her happy everytime. Anyhow creating stories that made my in law believes in her. Even before she goes, there is supposed to be a feedback form for us to comment on her service BUT I did not receive it. It was passed to my in laws and written by them back to her.
After she left, I found the PEM guidebook to each CL, I suppose. I read and realize that they should be smiley, apologise for their wrongs. Well, nothing was followed. She did not even let us check her luggage before leaving. After reading the book then I know she should ask us to check her bags. Hopefully she did not steal anything from the house.
I hope PEM will do some actions about her behavior an attitude. I do not wish other mummies out there to suffer what I had and making me sad during the crucial confinement period!
Regards,
Eugenia
