Best friend of my hubby given his good advice, affect our replationship

[bbtay]

I m sad, confuse .... lots of mix feeling.

One of my hubby best friend facing sour replationship with his Ipoh Girlfriend, who is young , pretty, high post in Adidas. Driving good car and staying in the condo. However this guy, who from rich family as well. Always complaint to my hubby his girl friend. They have been together for more than one year, have stay at the girl's condo. By then this guy never stop complaining this girlfriend. Claiming she is materialistic, love face, demanding, love $$$. Beginning of this year, this guy start talking bad word abt the girl's parent.

And all this affected me, my replationship with my hubby. I m msian, together with my hubby for 14yrs. Married only 1.5yrs. These he changed his attitude towards my family. And i found out his whatsapp with his best friend, expressing he is very hate my family, he wish them to die earlier. and he wanna spit saliva & shit on their money $.He claimed than remain single is better than married to msian. Family & sis always the best, same blood. He even made comment such as ask M'sian F their $$$ since they love $ so much..... so what does this mean, sporean love family & sis, dont tell me spore f....

My hubby never provide me since the very first day, and i dont think i did anything wrong. why this happen to my marriage. I wanna to have a talk with him, he refuse and replied me. He had enough, just do whatever i wish.

If eventually end up divorce, maybe should do it now.

 

[september]

I dun think he will change juz becoz of his best friend thing with his gf.....did he meet someone outside?

 

[bbtay]

Hi, Diana

He is not meeting someone. He is not that kind playing around. He is family type, always give priority to his mum and sis. Bcoz of this, I also treat his mum & sis well. Thinking he will at least understand additional love given to his family, he could pay more attention to me and my family.

 

[shoppixe]

When my hubby tell me about his friends complaining about their other halves, i always remind him he needs to critically view his friend as well. If gf so bad, then why he stay on? He very good meh? Sometimes I think men forget to see themselves for who they are.

 

[sweetevil]

Yes, it take both hands to clap.

 

[bbtay]

Even after i talk to him, he still hate my family. last nite, he still asked where is the divorce paper, he is ready to sign. Why its so hard to find a right guy?

 

[junainarosdi]

Hi

To me marriage is like gamble if we lucky we will be blessed with a good husband if not then its the other way round.my advice we women got to be strong headed ,follow our instinct.If you think that he is not the right guy for you ...then u have to make a decision .If he is married to you he is also married to your family.

 

[september]

Sad to say, a person will nt change overnite, unless he is all along like this but u did nt realise. Also, a man who the family type of man will also stray de...there is no guarantee one. Coz I cannot find his persistance on divorce unless ur family is really over the board?

 

[bbtay]

now then i understand why so many of my friends divorce, the guys just dont cherish their wife and didnt put any effort in maintaining their loves towards wife after marry. Maybe single is better than married.

 

[hugomum]

bbtay,
Actually sometimes the reason for breakup are infinity, when things turn sours, they can raised up any stup** excuse to end the relationship. They had forgotten those things we had done and those happy memories especially the time and effort we had spent to build up in the past.

Whether there is a 3rd party or really the problem lies in others, please consider seriously whether this man really deserve your love and effort and move on.

 

[mehui]

Why does your hb dislike your family so much to insult them in this manner? They stepped on his toes before? Better talk things through and not let this sort of emotional knots complicate your relationship.

 

[bbtay]

Thanks for Advice. Really felt useless when another party not willing to face it and talk about it. Currently my MIL is trying to help us, she talk to me and same time she try to understand what in my hubby's mind via SMS.

My family actually care v much of my hubby, just that they always try to stop my hubby for unnecessary spending. Maybe he dislike and feeling become strong due to his friend comment.

Will try to solve it out but it take time

 

[mehui]

So it's an ego thing? U might want to ask your folks not to nag at him outright so that it doesn't create tension after u get back home. Let them know that you appreciate their concern but the nagging only makes it worse?

 

[ayana]

But do you both meet your family often? Since they are in msia?

Perhaps can try to not meet up and talk to him about your family for a while, and see if things can get better between u both?

 

[bbtay]

Agreed high ego, just couldnot treat other part's family as own.
If own family say the same thing, dun think the same outcome will be.

Trying to skip going back every week but it's not easy as we have been doing for past 14yrs. Every time still have reason for going back. Haiz