Hi ladies,
I'm new here. Just sharing my point of view on staying with in laws. Been staying with in laws 1 yr already. Now looking for own place to move out and have our own space.
The good thing about staying with in laws is less housework to do. For me I only need to bother about my own room. Thats all. And hubby is a tidy freak unlike me, so times when he cannot stand my untidiness, he'll clean up the room. Keke... But bad thing is the lack of privacy. I used to go braless and wear PJs before I got married. Now there's BIL and FIL ard, have to keep bra on all day.
Unlike many married couples, hubby n I do not have a room to ourselves fully. My BIL shares the room. His clothes and stuff will leave inside the room cause since married to hubby, he moved out to sleep in the living room. So whatever sometimes he and his gf does inside this room, hubby will want me to be accomodating since he already had no room to sleep in. But I do feel disgusted at the thought of what they are doing on our bed and really can't wait to move out.
Like some of them complaint about BIL eating my snacks, I had the same experiences. I'll nag to hubby and after that make hubby buy back for me. If those I really like and not willing to risk it in others tummy, I'll keep in the room. Keke... Other times like breakfast for myself, in order not to find my breakfast missing the next morning, I always make it a point to buy additions, so that even my FIL or BIL eats, I'll still find my breakfast on the table the next morning. So food wise, I learn not to be calculative
My PILs also buy food home and I eat them also. They also never say anything. My MIL loves durians. Once I finished off the whole box, she come back and I apologise, she also never become unhappy. So sometimes to repay their favour, times we dine out or buy food back, I also tell hubby to call his mum to see if she wants anything or we just buy for them. Nowadays hubby made me call back, cos he thinks will foster the relationship between me and them also.
Relationship with PILs, initially there was alot of conflicts, esp at the fact that whenever hubby and I had tensions, they'll take hubby's side and blamed me for making hubby angry. Even it's hubby's fault. Something I cannot take it lying down. But I later find out my MIL sometimes also tell hubby to give in to me when I'm not ard.
Other things like something they'll say things that you'll not like to hear. And initially I feel so stressed when my MIL told me not to accumulate my washing cos she worried when she wants to hang, she'll have no space. So limit me to 1 bamboo stick. Everyday I come home from work just hand wash loh. Lucky my mum staying near me, she told me I can put my clothes in a bag and when I go over, she wash for me (My own house have the whole balcony to hang and lotsa bamboo sticks). Hehe... Me so happy, don't need to even wash clothes this way except my own under garments.
Staying with in laws have to close 2 eyes, and 1 ear in, 1 ear out. Something I learnt. There's bound to be differences since we're all brought up differently by our own parents. Just try to bear with it and learn to try to see it from a positive point of view then a negative one. But of cos, end of the day, I'll still move out cos baby coming out in a few months. No place for the baby plus I do not want more conflicts next time about them fussing over my baby. I know older folks have their experiences, but I did have some knowledge from books on child rearing, I want to bring up my child in my beliefs and not having others trying to duplicate another child of them own through my baby.
Mikeymum, I think if I were you. I'd be thankful if my MIL would help me with ironing and folding of clothes if I'm not home. Once my MIL folded my clothes I ironed, I got so angry. Complaint to hubby say why she did that. Ironed and hang means I want to clothes to be straight and lines free. Fold for what...Later I think, sometimes she brings in my laundry and keeps them also. So I try to think she meant well then making myself feeling worse by thinking she is invading my little privacy by touching my clothes. Maybe how about locking your bedroom door when u n hubby goes to work? At least she touch anything, u still have the master bedroom to your own privacy?