Irene: No, you are not insane, your fears are valid. Lots of mothers feel the same to. I think both Natural and c-section carries same amount of risk- the worst that can happen to a natural is the mother is not dilated enough, had to be induced, then after long hours of labour pain still can't, amniotic fluid in water bag gets lows, risk of miconium, then give up for c-ection. My friend was in labour for 24 hours before her gynae decided she had to go for c-section.
For C-section, if it's is a planned case, most gynaes should prep you through and tell you what to expect. And if it is planned, the anasthesia is via epidural, dosage is low and only numb waist down, you are still awake abd husband can be with you. I think the risk in c-section is more human related- like over adminstration of drug, doc's unsteadiness, slow healing if its not done properly... In a planned case, I think risk is definitely lower.
My advice is, put your mental health at top priority. We preggies, or new mum go through lots of hormonal fluctuations during preg and after delivery. So if you can't convince yourself about a positive natural birth, then talk to your doc further about your fears and how you derived at your choice. My friend chose c-section for both her deliveries because she said she has very low threshold for pain and is not convinced that she can do it naturally. And whatever choice you made, be brave about it, trust that you have done the right thing for yourself. After you have delivered, you need your healthy mind to make many decisions so better don't overlook it. Don't make way for post natal depressions. I have a friend who is still carrying her bitterness from post natal blues till now.
