(2010/01) January 2010 mtb

lamb>that's what I did lor. Decided to leave it to fate since we couldn't decide whether to have another or not. End up decide not to have no 2 then we kena. Same situation for Ayden. We tried for a few months then decided to stop and wait cos of the financial crisis and how it might affect our jobs. once we did, I kena Ayden. My gynae think its cos we decided to stop trying so more relaxed and ... But don't think too much about when is a good time to have no 2, if you want to try, cos sometimes we can try for years and not be able to conceive. My brother and I have a 5 years gap becos my mom was just unable to conceive no matter how much she tried for quite a while.



I'll probably write soon to my future boss over there and tell her my situation. Sound her out first. If she's not supportive, then we'll drop the move and stay here. Although my friends who are already there said they won't fire me just cos I'm preggers cos they'll be worried I'll sue them, they can still make life pretty nasty for me if they want. Don't want unnecessary stress cos I too believe that a happy mommy makes a happy bb.



somehow will figure out something de. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 


Pauline>means u want no 3. just try lah. maybe this time u will get a boy. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
tyl,ya they sound them out and see wat's their reaction. take things easy and enjoy ur pregnancy. it's true when you are more relax it's easier to conceive...

 
Dear all,



The zoo trip is still on for next Saturday(30th July 2011).



I managed to get discount zoo tickets , $18 for adult and $11 for kids. So hurry and email me @ [email protected] to let me know whether you want to join the zoo trip or not. Thanks.



I am getting the tickets next monday so please contact me ASAP. Thanks.

 
Yl, I always wanted to have 3 kids, boy or gal also good. But my biggest obstacle is my hubby who thinks that 2 is enough because we already dun have enough sleep n energy handling 2 kids. He works long days as a teacher n still needs to mark scripts after he comes back, sats also need to go back to school, sometimes still got tuition so I also dun want to stress him lor. Plus, saving up for 3 kids' uni education is really no joke so no. 3 is still a bonus but not a must lor. :p

 
Lsntyl CONGRATS! Hope you have a sweet little dragon girl . Keke. Yes, go with the flow like what lamb says. Now it seems difficult but imagine 5 years later, when they are older, it would be such a good decision.



True, I guess it is never a good time for babies but when they are here, somehow things just fall into place. I am honestly very scare to have no.2 cos looking at the situation here in France, seriously... I will get ZERO help. My sister in law has a cute 8 months old and she is now 7 month pregnant! So her no.2 is popping out this Oct and this threw the whole family off. Because she is in the midst of divorcing her husband and these two babies are with her current boyfriend. Very very bizarre situation. Weird thing is , she has always been the good girl, the nice one, the proper one and these two years, suddenly she change and had an affair. So my in laws are like worried to death about her and how she is going to raise 2 kids and the relationship between my SIL and her boyfriend is quite stormy . Throw in the fact, this guy already had a 3 year old son with his first girlfriend. The girlfriend left him with the son. Wah liao. Super drama lor!



So now I know there is no way my in laws can help me cos now my SIL suddenly have to cope with 3 kids!



My FIL is like " why can't you cope on your own if you have 2 kids? My wife did it, millions of women did it! " I was so mad when he just accused me like that! But my MIL is at least understanding , she told my FIL off saying " you and your family did not help me and I struggle for years on my own. You have no right to say such things".





Haiz.... I must take it easy and don't let these people mess with my head or I sure peng san but really, it is like a culture thing . The west and the east really have diff way of raising kids! I am glad I am raising Arwen the way I want in Shanghai!



Ok, time to go shopping for gifts. Check in later~ [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
Tyl

Congrats!!! Actually I am due next March, jus confirmed recently.. Hee.. Hope I get a dragon boy.

So who else is joining the club?! :p



And I agree with Jessie.. There never seems to be a perfect time for a baby but when they arrive, everything Will fall into place... So don't worry too much! Enjoy your pregnancy!

 
Lin : CONGRATS! So many new babies, I feel so excited for you guys!



lamb: Hey, I was also looking for cane to bring back leh! LOL! So far honestly Arwen did nothing to make me smack her yet but then let's see, once.. when she was so active and keep turning , so hard for me to change her diapers and I smack her buttocks but of cos she think it is a game... but for some reasons, she recognise me as the authority and DH as the one to bully.



My mom would be like "dun scold her lah, don't shout at her ok?" every time I talk to her on the phone and I would be like "huh"??? DH and Ayi can vouch for me that I think I raise my voice at her less then 5 times ok. I am the one who always let her be and I don't say NO unless really needed. I think Ayi and DH say No more than I do . But everyone very amused to see Arwen will be like very obedient to me and when I say no, she will quietly stop and do other things. Strange cos I am the one who will let her open this and that and eat this and that . I guess perhaps my NO has more meaning because I rarely say it.



But I do think the cane is a good method when there is an absolute good reason to do it. I was raised by the cane and boy , does it beat me to sense. My mum would cane me on my buttocks cos that is where it hurt less and does not scar. I am quite a notti kid and I remember not even opposing to being cane cos I am in the wrong. But I pray hard I never have to use it .



The thing is Arwen has always been an accomodating child and infact, I wish she is nottier. Not that I am boasting but she can like tahan a lot of shit one leh. I admire her resilient, she is so much like DH. But she also tends to do things her way, in the sense, she seems like those who will do things / keep things from me and this is also difficult . Like in front of me, good girl but mind is thinking something else. Another very strong DH trait.



These days, she is really getting more independent, today she actually climb up the stairs alone and go to the bedroom . She then switch off the lamp bedside her bed and just hug her bear and sleep! LOL. Me and DH was like "huh?"" Machiam like she is 5 years old siah.



Lamb, you are also right, I am tired, but strangely I feel more like a mother when I have n help. I enjoy making food for her, singing to her, hugging her without worrying about work. I love that she will now come to me and bury her face in my lap and smile. I am really burn out in Shanghai with work and running the household but everytime I am on vacation with her, I can see a life just being with her and DH , not working and just chill being a SAHM till she goes to school.



Funny eh, I should feel like that when I am in Shanghai with Ayi but perhaps I do not get to cook for her or bath her other than weekends , I feel I am missing a part of motherhood. I told DH we should seriously think about relocating back to France next year. We were toying with the idea of staying another 2 years as his company is quite keen to retain him in Shanghai but the quality of life is so unlike France. Here , the food and fruit is fresh, the air is so clean, the people considerate and got plenty of natural environment to run about. Problem is we will have to survive on DH salary only which means well, life is going to be tougher. I will try to find a job but I am not too hopeful yet but I guess it is one thing at a time. I cannot worry too much eh.



You have plans to put Nat in any preschool yet?

 
jessie,



Wah, that's a pretty long post. Hehehe. I had a long day today. We brought Nat to the zoo and also to the shopping mall for some shopping. Nat must be a really happy kid today coz' she got to see those animals that she's been reading about in her books. I have yet to explore the Shanghai zoo but I dun suppose it can reach the standards of the Singapore zoo yet.



Somehow, I feel that back home, there seems to be more things to do. I don't find myself very motivated to head out in Shanghai. Even the greenery can't lure me out very much. And with Singapore's plans to turn into a tourism hub, there's really a lot of exciting places to take our LOs. For this, I really envy the moms here. There's no lack of things to do every weekend!



Just going to one attraction every weekend and you can cover for 3 months already. Yes, I can see Arwen's traits as how you've described. She's really a deep thinker sort and yes, she's really a very great kid. Nat is so samseng compared to her. Arwen really obeys and she's always such a happy kid whenever I see her. Awwww .... my heart melted when I read the bit about her climbing up stairs and switching off the lights.



It's so interesting how they pick things up from us just by observing our day to day actions. And frankly, as WAHM/SAHMs, there's more opportunity for us to inculcate good values to them. I think you should really give good thought to taking Arwen back to France coz' as you said, quality of life is indeed better. Though tiring but I think it is through such moments, that you really bond as a family. And not forgetting Arwen will get to grow up with her beloved cousins. Family ties is something we cannot teach and yet is so invaluable.



I often envy my friend whose daughter is an only child yet she has the company of her cousins, often out on family outings etc. I do wish that Nat will have more of such opportunities. If all things go well, I should send Nat to preschool next year. Currently, it's more of taking her for classes like a few times a week, 2 hours max each time. To me, she's still too young for drop offs. Even though she seems so outgoing and sociable, I have noticed that once she gets into a classroom setting, she'll bury her face into my laps.



So I think she still needs more exposure for Mommy and me classes before I do preschool for her. And also, I can't seem to keep her home much. She's getting very restless at home these days and she can't be watching tv all the time. I must say that I'm not very good at teaching. It's only in situations where she comes to me with a book, and then I'll read to her. Then I'm currently teaching her about colors and shapes.



And if we're out, I'll be describing what we see to her. That's pretty much it. Think when it comes to teaching, a professional teacher will still be able to do the job better than me. In fact, most of the time, I actually enjoy the classes I send her to so much! Maybe enjoying it even more than her! :p



What about you? Any plans for Arwen to go preschool?

 
Lamb: Just read that Nat knows how to take money and pay the cashier, so urban er her! LOL. Well, she is a SG girl and better know how to shop first, it is a good trait leh. At least she will now be able to be your shopping kaki!



Arwen is so much like her dad , it is scary , like today , we bring her to see some pets in a pet shop, she actually goes to each of the cage ( pretty clean) and kiss the cage cos she cannot kiss the animal. She love to kiss animals siah, I told DH hopefully she will be a vet . She is so gentle like her dad.



I don't know why but I seriously don't see any of me in her... not that I am jealous or what but a bit puzzled , ah well, what to do, I cannot force her to be impatient, strong headed, stubborn like me , LOL.



Yes, I enjoy SG the last time I was home, I feel so.. free, I can do whatever I want there with Arwen cos it is stroller friendly and nice weather. I miss home so much....the next trip I will be back for 1 whole month and I can't wait!



As for preschool, honestly.. I do feel abit pressured when I see our other mummy friends in SH planning for their kids but then again, like you, I think it is better to just let Arwen attend classes for 1 or 2 hours few times a week. I also cannot teach her very well but just keep pointing out words to her. The thing is, to keep doing it nonstop. For 6 months, I think I keep saying apple, bananas, kiwi, rice etc. She now knows apple very well and today she actually can say anene which it bananas. I was like, wah liao 6 months of repetition for 1 word leh! LOL.



Yah, I guess if ever I were to put her in preschool is because she is too active liao. Always want to go out, explore the world kind. Haiz.. but I guess in their shoes, the world is really exciting eh. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
YL, Lin - Congrats! Enjoy your pregnancy!!!



YL - A happy mummy definitely makes a happy baby. I have to agree to that cos when I was pregnant with Bryan, it was a very stressful period for me at work. I spent all my time in meetings and all. Now, everyone is telling me that Bryan is not a smiley child but always frowning instead. If you really really can't make it for this round, there may be more (better) opportunites come knocking on your doors in dues time. Maybe God is just trying to tell you something... [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
lin>congrats! no wonder you were asking. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]



bigfoot>yes, my mom and MIL are trying v hard to convince us that #2 is a sign to us to stay in SG. :p

 
hello mommies



just got back from a short trip to Hoi An. boy.. it as so so so warm and humid.. i almost felt myself melting away. needless to say, the little one was fussing non-stop and i could hardly shop. but once we're back in the comfort of the air-conditioned hotel room, he's all happy and co-operative.



LSnTYL, Lin> Congrats!! Looks like there are some baby dusts flying around this thread.



jessie> i so wish YX would go to sleep by himself like Arwen. come bedtime only he sticks to me like a super glue.



lamb> when will you head back to SH? your are so energetic eh... after a day at the zoo still can go shopping. i don't think i can last a day at the zoo with YX. nowadays i can hardly carry him with one arm.



wonder how sp_callalily is doing. haven't heard from her for sometime.

 
Thanks cocoMama..

Yes I can't carry T for v long either.. She's getting so heavy! But I guess I try to cherish the days of carrying her cos I'm sure very soon she won't want to be carried anymore.



Just wondering if any mommies have a regular exercise routine? What do u do? Can share share cos I need some inspiration & motivation.. Nowadays I'm usually eating & sleeping if not doing housework.. *frown* getting v unhealthy..

 
jessie,



Oh yes, Nat's a city gal at heart while Arwen's so into nature. Hehehe. I guess that's also coz' Nat's been living in Singapore and Shanghai that's been so cosmopolitan. And she's usually at malls with me. But Nat does appreciate nature too. She loved the stroll at the zoo with the trees and also constantly takes walks in the gardens be it in Singapore or Shanghai.



I guess you don't see any of yourself in Arwen now but you'll never know. Their personality continues to be formed. They're still young, as they slowly grow up, we'll see more of ourselves in them. Like for me, my mom's traits in me didn't quite show up until I was much older. I guess as long as they're good traits, doesn't matter whom she inherits from, yeah? ;P When it comes to schooling matters, I guess it's inevitable to feel pressured also.



When Nat was younger, my mommy friends in SH have been asking me to send Nat for gymboree etc. We took her to trial class but she didn't quite seem to enjoy plus we didn't like the environment in SH's gymboree either. So in the end, didn't send her for any. DH and I often gotta remind ourselves that it's important we send her for classes that she enjoys. Although usually for trial classes, you can't really tell. Like for her music lessons, it took her one whole semester to really enjoy the program.



But I've also seen some kids who've joined in for trial class for the first time and wailed for the whole hour. I guess they're just not ready. I really don't see a point in doing drop-offs for now coz' I really cherish time spent with her. Yes, while drop-offs gives me a bit more time on my own but she's gonna have a lot of time ahead of her to do school. That being said, I have also noted that Nat does thrive on peer learning. There are some things which she refuses to do at home but when put in a classroom environment, seeing other kids do, she'll do the same.



In a way, she feels a sense of pressure to conform. Not necessarily a bad thing but at least she picks up good habits like keeping toys. So that's why kids pick up things really fast these days coz' they're going to school earlier. Yeah, you are right when it comes to patience when we teach them. I guess parenting, more often than not, is about patience and discipline, not for the kids but for OURSELVES. DH often says, parenting is really good character building and I totally agree.

 
cocomama,



HHahhaha, I guess the energy within me has been dormant for too long in Shanghai. Nat and I don't go out as often in SH compared to here. Plus when you have a time limit in a certain place, you'd hope to cover as much as possible. But ... every morning, i am still struggling to wake up!!! Nat has been sleeping later over here too! Think she realized she's on a holiday.



This whole month has truly been very enjoyable. The feeling of being home has never felt better. I could never have lasted with carrying Nat at the zoo too. But thanks to Ergo and also the stroller. My mom was with me too so we kinda took turns to manage her. The zoo is really a great place for kids.



Hopefully i can squeeze in another trip there before I head home.

 
Hi mommies!!



Been away a while and now this thread is very active again [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]



Congrats TYL!! Hope everything works out well, whatever your decision! [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif] May I ask why you're so keen to go US? Is it more for kids' education? If so, can still earn lots of money here then send them there for their studies. I mean, there are so many angmohs wanting to come to this part of the world ie. Asia, so perhaps for career wise, this is where prospects will be brighter? And looking at the economic situation in US, it just doesn't seem too promising. I saw fr yesterday's evening news that people are now even willing to pay just to get internship positions in China. In the past, no one will do such a thing! So perhaps your pregnancy now is a sign from Someone up there? ;)



As for me, I'm still not sure if i wanna have No. 2, it will be so different the second time around since there's a No. 1 to take care of. I still remember when i was preggy, since i work fr home, i can rest whenever i want to without anyone disturbing me. I definitely won't get to enjoy such luxury if i get preggy now. How i wish i have my No. 1 much earlier, so that I can have No. 2 when the first one is much older, though that may mean they won't grow up playing together very much.



Oh! Before I rambled on and on and forgot, I'm hosting a giveaway from Petit Bowl on my blog. Feel free to drop by and enter the contest. There will be two vouchers, so there will be not just one but two winners! I've also provided links to other mom bloggers who are also having the giveaway, you can also join and have more chances of winning [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]



http://ruthwongwrites.blogspot.com/2011/07/meals-for-littles-ones-easy-peasy-with.html



Little lamb: You're back in SG for a break? For how long will you be here? [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]



How many LOs are attending play group now? I'm thinking of sending my boy to a play group for few hours each day. Any recommendations? Thanks!

 
Hi Mummies,







BearyFunGym is having its 1st Gymnastics Workshop.



Its on 6th Aug 2011

Time: 10am-12pm or 1pm-3pm

Located at Tampines Point

Fee: $10 per participant



For for information, you may check it out at www.bearyfungym.com.



Thanks. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
[IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/messages/2495852/5798245.jpg]



Programme Description

- How to sitmulate your child's brain development to optimize your child's learning.

- Understand your child's physical needds from birth till 12 years old.

- How to provide a heasdstart for your child's physical development

- Suggestions of some simple gym exercises with your child at home.

- Clear many misconceptions about gymnastics

- Hands on experience on the gymnastics apparatus such as trampoline and parrallel bar.

 
cheerieheart,



It's been such a long while since I alst read your post. Have you been kept busy with work? Nice to see some familiar posters back in the thread as most mommies have either moved along with work and have lesser time to be in here. Some have gained more confidence and seldom post here to ask questions. While some, like me, have gotten busy chasing our LOs, taking them for classes etc. Was reading some of your posts in your blog and Kenan has grown so much!



And of course the most common question that keeps popping up is when are we gonna have our 2nd one. As much as I missed the feeling of pregnancy, but I have similar thoughts as you. Being pregnant with another one in tow just ain't like before. We'll be staying in town till mid-August, which means not much time left. The past month here have just flown past. Every single day, there's something to do.



And given the fact that I don't like to feed Nat her meals outside, I have to try to fit schedules according to her routine, which is not a lot of time as well and that's probably how time just flew past. On top of that, I still have to manage household chores and continue with preparation of meals for her. But on the whole, life still seems happy here. I'm gonna try to make this a yearly ritual, try to come back during summer for Nat to bond with her extended family and for me to catch up with friends as well.

 
cheerieheart>we want to be able to give ayden a different lifestyle and more exposure to the outside world and this is a rare chance for us to do so. Hubby and I can more or less guess what his life will be like if he stays in SG. Go school, pressured to do well, hopefully eventually go uni and start job. Its the basic Singapore route that both hubby and I went through and he'll go through too if we stay here. Of course, there's no guarantee that it won't be the same for him abroad but at least we hope the exposure will enbolden him to take chances and know that the world is much bigger than SG. Travel can only do so much.



Of course we know its a risky move too. Hubby might have difficulties finding a job and even if he does it might not be worthwhile for him to take it since a large part will be gone to tax and paying for the childcare. We'll no longer have the luxury of the wonderful family support that we've enjoyed in SG and will have to be truly independent.



Life will definitely be more challenging from the move alone and the baby adds a further layer of difficulty on top so this is still something we are wrestling with. Maybe we will end up staying in SG after all if the company is not receptive to my pregnancy. That will certainly be the easier option and the option that our immediate family would welcome most.

 
Hi TYL: I’ve read that article before, it really resonants with me. And yes, I can understand your pt of view [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif] And from my observation, more and more parents share your view, and for me, to some extend as well. Perhaps that's why I see more people around me doing homeschooling and we now have the sports school and SOTA to cater to those who want to pursue something different. I think regardless of where we live, we can always choose the path less trodden, if we only have the courage. But don’t you think our society is changing? More and more young people are exploring the less conventional routes, choosing to walk away from what their parents had dreamed for them, in pursuit of their own passion. (and oh, how about more people voting for the opposition parties? Doesn’t this also signal a societal shift at some fundamental level?)



Before Kenan came along, I asked my hubby to get a posting overseas. I want to live abroad and experience life overseas, like how I used to stay in SH 10 years ago (at a time when people were reluctant to go there) but he’s too much a Singaporean at heart to want to go. But when it comes to my boy, I feel Singapore gives good access to both the East and the West and offers a strong education, so I’m happy to stay here. When he’s older, I’ll let him decide where he wants to study.



Meanwhile, I hope to help him discover his talents and will do what I can to help him pursue his dreams. Besides, this mommy here doesn’t conform to the norm anyway!! As far as I can recall, it’s never my goal to climb the corporate ladder. After years of searching, I’m blessed to be able to pursue my passion and do what I love, and I always feel very sad when my ex colleagues complained about how horrid the job is but not doing much about it, either because they feel they have no choice (how wrong to think that way!) and perhaps to some degree, too caught up in the pursuit of material things to let go of a stable income. So they just have to put up with a job they rather walk away from.

 
So don’t feel sad if in the end, you have to stay in Singapore. Grass is usually greener on the other side. From a broader perspective, this is likely the best time and age to be in Asia as this part of the world develops rapidly. There will be plenty of opportunities for our kids, career or otherwise. At the same time, help our kids to develop a sense of wonder for the world around them, to think deeply about things, to dare to questions norms, as well as be courageous, which will then help them find and follow their own path and destiny. Point them to examples of people who have the courage to dream a different dream and still be happy, fulfilled and successful in what they have chosen.



I know some of these things are easier said than done, because people always tend to frown upon those who are different. But this is what I do – I just shut my ears. And I’ll choose to surround myself with people who share the same values and vision as me, as an individual and as a parent [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif] And maybe that’s why I sometimes feel like a misfit.

 
Little lamb: Ya, it's amazing how fast our kids grow and the new things they do everyday. Nowadays, he's got so many different facial expressions, it's so fun to watch! Btw, buy some frozen meals fr petit bowl to try while u're in town, it will save u lots of time preparing Nat's meals. Then you can have more time for other activities Not advertising for them, but their food really helped me a lot during a very tough period months ago. So i alway recommend them to my friends



So did you meet with any mommies on this forum for playdate or outings? Or interested to go somewhere together? I think my boy's getting very bored at home and thought it's fun bring him out somewhere with other kids. PM me if you free to meet up!

 
cheerieheart>ya, I know all that. But on another level, its quite disappointing to stay on after all the excitment of finding a place to stay. The job also has other perks that are quite attractive. See how lah. I always say leave it up to fate and now fate has given me #2.



On another subject, has any other mommies bought books from dangdang? I got quite a big selection recently cos kiasu me wanted to bring more chinese books over to NY for Ayden. Am v happy with the quality of the books. Now I just need to start reading them to Ayden. :p

 
Cheerieheart

I share your sentiments in what has been discussed above. And you are fortunate to be able to be at home & enjoy Kenan's childhood, at the same time you get to earn for the family too!



The world has changed so rapidly & sometimes i also dont know what Singapore has become. I feel that this is a society only for elites. Everything starts so early in preschool. I think if possible, some parents may want to brainwash their babies when they are still in gestation!



little lamb, cheerieheart

have you girls heard of royce kids' gym? my friends like the place but to me it's really expensive. $25 per hour if you're not a member. I was tempted to bring my children there but I take a step back & re-think. Coz, I feel afraid to expose my kids to such luxurious playareas. When actually, simple play at the beach may be even better. FOC some more.



Then when they grow up, we wonder why their standards all so high. So demanding. When in fact it was actually us , the parents who expose them to all these luxurious comfort play when they were young (because we adults also want aircon, heheh).

 
Cherieheart, TYL

Yes, I have read that article before and it totally strikes a chord.



Both of you offer much sense and give a balanced view from both sides of the fence. Both East and West have good and not so good things to offer. I feel Singapore is a good cultural window to the east and west. For example, we are bilingual, travel widely, and relatively exposed (not say we are the best). Chinese food is not just Chinese food, it has transformed to SEA cuisine so much influenced by nearby region. Very few places in the world have different races living together so peacefully. The life is so convenient here, every weekend breakfast reading newspaper, when I enjoy my bak kut teh, or mee siam, or ta bao food if feel lazy, I know I can never get it so easy in other countries. Anything faulty, call the repairman. Here, we employ helper easily, unlike other countries. Everyday, I count the blessings and convenience of here.



However, like what some pointed out, the bugbear is the education system and herd mentality. Like you mentioned, it takes courage to not be in the race, not conform and yes, we have a choice. But to what extend are we able to live by it, how to live it, whether here or overseas, there's so much to think about. Can we accept that the child does not do well in local school? not make it to good schools? or uni? Do we have backup if they fail to thrive here? If overseas, they are more confident and speak out, dream high. Most asians achieve medals and award in this and that (but having said that, I must say they are not necessary smarter, just exposed). Being away from your roots and family support. But more independant and opens up your mind. So what is it at the end of the day?



Even though kids are already in pri school, and being the most relaxed mum by the standards here, I am constantly thinking about these questions, as the demand of the system is very real and immediate. Tuition or not? Not so good grades? Scramble or deep breath?



One thing is, when the family is young, it is more mobile and less opp cost, exactly what TYL pointed out.



But there is something that can never forgo, which is to bring up confident, contended kids with value to face the future.

 
hee, we are becoming more philosophical here.



furby>totally agree with you. I guess another reason why I'm keen to go is because I know myself. I will likely end up pressuring Ayden if he doesn't do as well as I think he could. Over there, the choice would be to send him to an international school. Away from the constant comparisons and with a syllabus with a different focus, I hope I will be better able to restrain myself and let him learn to his pace. Hubby and I feel it is most impt for him to enjoy learning and I hope I can help him achieve that.



That said, another concern also is that he'll be away from his grandparents who love him so much. We don't know how much time they have left with us so sometimes we wonder is it not better we stay? Haiz, big decision that we have to really decide n there's no clear cut answer either way.



smalldreams>I've actually never bought Ayden to one of these indoor play gyms except for a trial class and the birthday bash.



N there's the babyplus system, ya? I thought that's supposed to help babies better concentrate, learn, etc and that's done when bb is still in our tummies so some mommies already try to 'brainwash' their babies during gestation. :p

 
smalldreams

I never bring my kids to indoor gym when baby except when they were older and just part of their many activities. Nothing beats the fresh air, the sound, smell, feel, the natural light, and freedom of the outdoor, it is multi sensory compared to the confines of the aircon room. Sometimes, you can find us at the Park, beach or playground at 10pm, hee...

 
furby>10pm? wow, I'm normally asleep by then. These days get tired and sleepy quite early so sleep with my boy.



I don't know if I'm biased though but I find the beach at east coast terribly polluted. Maybe cos I'm comparing it to the beach in Phuket that was pristine and so white. Are there beaches in better condition in SG?

 
TYL

the beaches in spore are quite littered nothing compared to those in phuket or resorts. But I have been to sentosa ones quite ok lah

 
wow so long din come in and got many good news...



Congrats to TYL and Lin...

Enjoy your pregnancy...



TYL, choose what you think is comfortable for you I guess. All the stuff will move in the right direction.



Hey Jessie, Arwen is so cute... And she knows the word Shy... hahahha...

Shayne on the other hand is super friendly to strangers... bth him always wave etc and smile... and to those who love kids still ok...

hate those ppl who treat him transparent lor...

imagine a young kid smile at you etc and those ppl dun give damn... break his lil heart...



Nice to see this forum still active...

Will try to catch up on most topics... [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]



take care everyone...

 
hello mommies! the thread has come back to life [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]



tyl, lin: congratulations on the pregnancy!



we are also expecting #2, due in January. Gonna be another expensive confinement with no CNY goodies [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif]



am considering putting Emma in pat's schoolhouse, but the siglap area only has afternoon session for toddlers, and they have no uniforms. and etonhouse is so far away. any good suggestions on half-day cc?







tyl: the toughest part on relocation is for the parents because we tend to over-analyse at the final moment. when the kids are young they'll just go with the flow, as we all know kids adapt pretty easily.



if the company is receptive of your pregnancy, i still stick to my original belief: when you have a purpose, and you have done adequate research to support your notion of relocation, then nothing should sway you.



i am a very logical person, i don't sway easily by emotions. maybe it's the laywer in me talking, but honestly i don't second-guess my decisions because i've satisfied my queries with my research. even with #2, it doesn't change our decision to relocate next year.





cheerieheart: we're still at peekaboo on thursdays if you wanna join us [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif] missing Kenan too.





lamb, jessie: i always enjoy reading arwen and nat's escapades. arwen has her unique quirkiness while nat is just a little lady at heart. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
Febie : Yah, Arwen sometimes love to smile at people but they don't smile back and I will hurry take her away or distract her cos she sometimes look abit like puzzled at the cold reception. I mean, I don't expect everyone to gush or coo but smile back lah! Will die izzit. Or I also shelter her from those with FAKE smiles. Like so patronizing. YUKS.

 
andie>congrats! so envious that you've a rabbit bb. :p will you have separate birthday celebrations for your bbs?



chances are if the company is receptive of my pregnancy, we'll go ahead. Hubby agrees with you that nothing much has changed. We'll still continue with the current plans unless the company is not happy about my pregnancy.

 
febie/jessie>think cant be helped. some people just don't like bbs. Ayden will smile and wave at some too only to be ignored. we just distract him so he doesn't get upset if they don't respond

 
tyl: chances are, emma's birthday will be during confinement. which means we either hold the party at home or do something after. it's quite a headache actually, but...i guess 2yr olds wouldn't mind as much. for #2 we'll most likely have the 1st month in church, together with the baptism, like we did for emma.



birthday parties wise, i've not given much thought, though i guess we'll hold them together unless it's like a month apart. the logistics to plan a party is just too much, least to say 2 in a month [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]





febie, jessie, tyl: well...i used to be one of those people. it's not that we don't like babies per se, it's just that we don't know what to do nor interact with them. some babies would chuckle after we smile and somehow expect the interaction to continue. it just baffles us, like are we supposed to talk, or keep smiling, or make funny faces, or what? to avoid such awkward situations we just look away.



of course, now that i'm a parent, i see how insensitive it is to a young child. but at that moment, it's just...you know... [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif]

 
Whoa whoa ... a lot of posts today. And it always happens when I disappear! Hhahaa. Brought Nat for playdate at Peekaboo today. And yeah ... I was just thinking to myself today, Singapore does have many of such indoor playgyms, playgrounds. And more are still sprouting.



I guess it's really about capturing the market, knowing how willing parents are to spend for their kids these days. Plus it does appeal to HDB heartlanders who usually don't have such fancy playarea. That being said, I also agree with posters like furby and smalldreams that sometimes, nature are the best environments for our kids. Our LOs at this age, throw them in any environment and they'll absorb whatever that's given to them. It doesn't always have to be fancy playareas. After reading posts here, I feel very heartened that some of the moms here have learnt the beauty of living in Singapore.



Having lived away from home for the past 5 years, I have learnt to appreciate the beauty of being in Singapore. I guess everything is so well thought through in Singapore that we have more often than not taken things for granted. It really isn't after having lived overseas, that you'll realize, that a lot of things in life, are not necessary given. You have to really work hard for it. Take for example, people in big countries, they leave their families in their hometowns to move to the bigger cities to work. And it's possibly only when during public holidays, that they get to go home to spend time with their family.



And here we are here, grumbling about having to stay with our parents/in-laws. I am a guilty party. But because of the compact size of our country, the government is able to govern the country easily without messages being broken down along the way. Big countries sometimes do not really come down to the level of the people. They tend to look at bigger pictures like economy, defense etc. But this trip has also opened my eyes to some of the issues that have surfaced during GE 2011.



Yes, costs of living are truly high. A bowl of beef noodles in a food court costs me sgd5! And when I visit some retail stores, I see foreigners being hired and they cannot understand english! It makes me wonder isn't it better to hire a senior Singaporean to do the job? Is it really much more expensive to hire Singaporeans? And education system, I've talked to some friends whose kids are in primary school and the shared sentiments is that branded schools are not necessary better.



It all boils down to the fundamentals of education in Singapore. What is their objective? It is no longer to care for the interests of the students but more to make students work things for them in putting them high on charts. It's so typical of Singapore to be meritocratic in every single thing. Even when it comes to sacrificing the welfare of our kids. Seriously ... are branded schools necessarily better?



Queueing overnight for a place in a good school, does it really make sense? I have seen how kids who have gone to neighbourhood schools and have still thrived and done well. So what really is the big deal? Ultimately, isn't it to just get a cert and to get ahead with life and leading it with passion? What's with the obsession in getting good grades to surpass other kids? I know I may be saying it easy now and when it comes to my turn, I might feel the heat.



But all this while, my dreams for Nat has never been to top the class or be in top percentage. DH and I hope to have her lead her life with passion. But of course if her passion is to be top student, we won't stop her either. :p Without passion, whatever tasks she takes on, it's just going through motion. She has to learn to love herself, love her life. And as parents, we are only there to support.



As for choice of primary school, we're not gonna stress ourselves over it. DH's alma mater was a neighbourhood school whilst mine is a school with rich history and a strong culture where teachers truly love children and have a strong passion in what they teach. Both has its advantages. Neighbourhood school is near where we live. My alma mater, I loved the strong culture that they evoke in their students. We are not gonna get too stressed about sending her to a branded school whatsoever.



To me, nothing matters more than sending Nat to a school with teachers who truly love children and lead with passion. Wonder if you gals watched CNA's 'How to be a super parent' in today's episode? If you haven't, there'll be repeats. A lot of things that Julia Gabriels said made sense. Do watch it when you can.

 
cheerieheart,



Speaking about taking the path less trodden ... for some reason, it does take a lot of courage to be a non-conformist in Singapore and I wonder why. I wonder why we often feel like an outcast if we choose a path that's different from our fellow Singaporeans. When I made the decision to quit my job and join DH (then boyfriend) in China, and stayed on in China, without a job, without kids. I was often questioned by my friends back home, why am i wasting my life away. Whilst the rest of them are busy building their career, or even planning for marriage. I was single, no job and staying in China.



I took that period of time and did things I enjoyed, took up sports that I never had time for while working, toured the city, hosted friends who visited the city. But to my friends back home, it's just a waste of time. Every home trip, I get questioned on what am I doing with my life and I actually felt discouraged, I felt like I was outcasted. I started questioning my original intentions in making this move. And then I would confide in my best friend. She'd tell me to treasure those months of my life because when my life moves on with marriage and family, I won't have time for all of that anymore.



How wise those words were. As you said, it takes a lot of courage to take the path less trodden. Likewise, for the future of our LOs, it's their lives we're 'gambling' with. That's why a lot of Singaporean parents would rather conform, go with norm because that has proven to be safe. Everyone sends their kids to tuition, so it shouldn't go wrong. To put it bluntly, there's too much of a fear deep-rooted for things to go wrong.



Every decision is calculated. Everything has to be perfect, no leeway for mistakes to be made. In the process of it all, we tend to forget whatever happened to our child's interests, whether they actually like it or not. I am guilty of it sometimes. Like when I take Nat to a new place to explore, I am so caught up with what I wanna take her to see but I forgot that there're things she wants to just spend a longer time on. But to me, it's just quick quick, move on move on.



I really gotta keep reminding myself to slow down. Coz' if I don't slow down now, when will I get a chance to do so when the rest of the world forces her to quicken her pace. That's why I still don't wanna put Nat in a preschool now for the fear that she grows up too fast. Although I am well aware that perhaps because of that, she may not be able to catch up with the rest of the LOs here on the things that they're learning from schools now. In response to your post, yes, I actually did buy frozen meals from Petit Bowl and I had the honour of speaking to the boss too. She did share with me some insights about fussy feeding.



I did meet up some of the moms here with their LOs for playdates. But i am fully booked till DH comes back! Can you believe that?! Was telling DH that our lives are so fulfiling here. There's an activity everyday for either of us! While DH's time is crawling back home and asking us everyday can we go back earlier.



LOL. So I guess I won't be able to do something with you. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif] Will continue to follow through your blog.

 
lsntyl,



I've been meaning to ask you but kept forgetting. Are you planning to send Ayden10 to an international school or public school when you're in US. The reason why I'm asking is coz' there's a huge difference between the both types of schools. Not sure if you've spoken to friends who have relocated there to get an understanding of the school system there. To get further insight, try to watch this documentary [Waiting for Superman] about public schools in US. I guess as much as we'd love for our LOs to not be subjected to the perils of the Singapore education system, we also have to make informed choices.



You have to research diligently on the type of schools that you would want Ayden10 to get into. Even for me, living in Shanghai, we're really spoilt for choices when it comes to international schools. Ask Jessie and she'll agree. But which school truly meets our objectives and what we hope for our LOs to achieve, that's the tricky bit and when you start filtering, there really aren't much choices and you still end up being waitlisted. Also, you have to give good thought about continuity. For eg. Is Ayden10 gonna be in the international school system till his college years? Or if you wanna pull out halfway, gotta give it thought on how he's gonna adapt to Singapore education system. Is he gonna continue to learn mandarin while in US?



A lot of these things may seem too early to think about but they will determine how his education path is gonna turn out. Although what cheerieheart says is true about economy going downhill in US, I still think that it's worth the while being there. As I shared with you before, there are advantages in living abroad and you have understood that, seeing your posts. And I believe that while the economy is going downhill, there are still jobs that are available for takes. Most importantly, whatever decision that you guys settle for ... it's something that the whole family unit can agree on and be at peace with.

 
Ah, the article is so nice eh. I was feeling exactly like that, that is why I rather go to Oman than to stay any longer in SG. It is not the race or the system but it is how boring everything is. I was so bored and uninspired. I can't find anyone interesting to talk to or share my thought. Everyone is just always telling me " that is life".



But after 6 years, like Lamb, I truly appreciate SG. Really, other countries is no different,same race, same concerns, same challenges. I finally understood on my part, really, life is what I want to make out of it. At age 35, been away from home so long, I now just want to conform. Funny eh. I mean, not like 100% conform but I want a nice house, a stable income, a peaceful life. I don't want to take risk anymore. I taken way too much when I was in my 20's. But of cos, I learn, it is so easy to say I want to be different but being different does have an impact on family members. Now I have Arwen, I cannot just plung my savings in stock, go backpack around the way, have tatoos, dye my hair pink. Of cos, many will say, it is ok, but seriously.. for the sake of Arwen, at least these 10 years, I will mellow and whatever I do, I will put her first. When she is old enough to understand , I will then explain stuff to her , that mummy needs to do something on her own. I know it is like so weird cos my nature is not like that but I see DH, too, making a lot of effort to be there for her, to give her as much love and attention as he can, I know at least, we are all on the same path.



Sometimes, I miss SG so much , I will quarrel with DH, saying he should not be so selfish and should relocate us to SG but I know... it is useless, the challenges again, the stress, the cost ofliving etc, it is the same. I will not envy other country and their systems nor will I say SG is stressful, it really boils down to what one wants. I do feel pressured to send Arwen to good expensive school, wear branded stuff etc and I know it is not wrong cos we can afford it and we are happy to do so but I know it is also not for the right reasons I am doing so. But being true to oneself is a long hard road eh. I am astonished how much I have yet to learn about letting go, letting myself be at peace with who I am. But I know, this cannot be rush.



So , seriously.. go to other country to live, work, study to broaden one's mind but never lost sight of your roots.



When I was in my 20's, I was happy to marry a French cos that means I can be a French too. I was so steadfast in my negatively view about SG then, but when I got married and after 1 year, people ask me when I will change my citizenship, I was shocked to feel how strong I want keep being a Singaporean! That was how I know, it is not the country and the system but the people, my friends, my family, the place I grew up, the slope I learn how to ride my bicycle, the corridor where I would run and find my childhood friends every morning when I was young. To give up my citizen is to give up my history. I was so glad to feel this way, I know now forever where my roots ah and this makes me braver to explored the unknown in my future [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
CocoMama:

I haven't been reading the forum like 3 mths already cuz was busy studying for exams those few mths. It's really no mean feat to be SAHM without much support and still have to study!!! Can't even get pass 2 lines of my notes without Aly fighting with my notes for my attention. In the end, she got so fed up of me ignoring her that she ended up scrbbling on my notes! Sometimes, I wonder why I torture myself but am glad I can call myself a supermom (like real) after clearning the exams. Anyway, just touched down from switzerland after holidaying there for 9 days. A much better trip than expected despite bringing Aly along. A much more fulfilling trip for her this time cuz there's just so much for her to see and do there. Will write more later once I am less jetkagged and have scanned thru the posts.



TYL, andie & expecting mummies:

Congrats!!!!!



Xin:

Heard that mattias has gone for op. How is he???

 
smalldreams,



In my heart, you've always been the down-to-earth mom and constantly reminding me that I mustn't be too caught up with all those material pursuits. I guess when in Singapore, one can't help but be in tune with the latest trend, like in this case, which is the hippest indoor playground for our kids. You're right about this being the society for elites. As I've mentioned earlier, this is such a meritocratic society. Civil servants are 'graded' and pay gets adjusts accordingly to the 'grades'. Some MNCs practice such a system too, just worded in a different manner.



Why so? Because everyone is competitive in nature and even more so in kiasu Singapore. We all want to excel. But we forgot that in our pursuit to excellence, we have lost sight of our original goals in life. So I wonder ... why the importance for our children to exceed goals? to be competitive?



Does not exceeding goals or being less competitive make them lesser of a human being? No ... but one thing for sure I know, it makes them feel outcasted. They dun feel like they belong to the rest of the class and that slowly will lead on to lower self-esteem. It's so sad how the society has become in the pursuit for excellence, don't you think?

 
furby - I've always admired you for the courage in not conforming and I ask myself if I can be like you when Nat gets to that stage. Coz' when they start going to school, and we get their grades, I'm not sure how I'd actually react when compared to her peers. But like you ... my goal is to raise a contented child. I think that is gonna be quite a challenge but will try to perservere.

 
Hi mummies



So long nvr been to this forum !



Congrats to all mummies who r preggie w no. 2 or 3 ! It's such a blessings to hv kids ! My frenz tried for 10yrs still no kids ....



Jessie, always enjoy reading your postings...quite entertaining as well ;-)



Are u mummies having any play dates ?



Hv been so busy n also sourcing for a kindergarten for my little princess....

 


So nice to see old faces here [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif] I vow to make an effort to post more often, I really love you guys!



Lamb: You are so right again about trying to get everything right, everything perfect and we tend to forget what our LO wants.



We just brought Arwen to the forest behind my MIL house, it was just so peaceful. DH was keen to show Arwen the horses, the river streams but Arwen was more interested in some pebbles. I told him to let her be, we then spend a good 10 mins just squatting beside her till she had her fill of playing the pebbles.



Life in France is good in the way, I really dun feel stress raising her. My MIL was so surprised to hear that I was worrying about preschool and all, she said here in France , there is no pressure to do so, the official age to go to school is 6! It was the first time I heard this, man, was I relieved! I mean of cos I will not sent Arwen to school at 6 but as least I dun feel bad if she did not get to go to a expensive preschool. My MIL was shock at the price and say it is so unneccessary. I guess for France it is so but not for Asia! LOL

 

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