(2008/12) December 2008 MTBs

Mornng Ladies

Iemik0
Better take care and talk to your gynae about your condition and see if she has any medication to stop the contraction. Hope everything is ok.

This morning while i walk to the MRT station, i feel as though my lower hip is going to give way! I think my tummy has increased in weight and now that i'm 29wks2days, my muscles are starting to complain *sigh*
 


fabbie and juzyounme....my hubby no chinese name...if his surname Espino translate to chinese think already 3 characters...bb shld be learning chinese...studying in singapore ma...can just have chinese name but don have it in Han Yu Pin Yin...if not the english name will be super long..."Espino Jake Travis Tan" if still must put chinese then still have 2 more words to add...

anyone knows how much is the deposit needed for A1 ward in KKH? i know B ward is $800...
 
Juzyounme
So sorry to hear of your $ issues. It is always a sticky situation when the husband is not up to expectation.

Pls dun contemplate on sending your child for adoption yet. Have faith and you will be able to provide for your bb. I was adopted as a baby and even though my adopted parents loved me dearly, i still long to see & know who my biological parents are. I'm lucky to be able to reunite with my bilogicial siblings last year and learn of all the hardship they endured. My heart is with you. Please be strong.
 
luvudeepdeep - like that means i should have a good meal before admission? i heard some without epidural also cannot eat until deliver... i think reason given was that in case need to emergency c-section and c-section has to go without food as it is a surgery.
 
juzyounme...i am a young mom,just got married this year...baby come unexpectedly...also having financial issues...but dont give up..i am saving on my own expenses and spending more for baby...i think it is natural...your hubby will dote on your baby also,he will change

believe you will give your baby a happy family....and you will be able to. all kids are happy when they are with their parents..i know how you feel....your worries of not financially able to provide for the baby think i am experiencing too..
 
Juzyounme

Sorry to hear about the predicament you are in....
Have you tried talking to your husband about the joint responsibility for the baby. I think you should demand a certain amount of money for the baby every month...If he is not able or willing to come up with money, the least you can do is not to give him any money even when he asks for it....afterall you have to think about baby first.

I know it sounds tough if you have to bring up baby on your own income, but once you have the baby, it'll be very difficult to give the baby up...also there are many families in Singapore who bring up kids with very minimal income, and the kids are still happy...As long as you lower your expectations in terms of material things, you should be able to support the baby on your own. Remember the baby needs love more than money.....
and also you have all of us here to give you support....be strong for the baby....ok?
 
juzyounme,

ya, think that should be the main reason why hospital dun allow u to eat, so better hav a good meal b4 admit...

tat time i was actually reached hospital ard 5am in the morning and the kopitiam in hospital is not opened yet so my hubby got to drive to the nearest petrol stt to buy sandwich for me, n i ate @ the lobby b4 admit, but seriously lor how long can a sandwich last u for the whole labour wor?
 
LuthAdel - i scare when i reach 29 weeks, i can hardly crawl to work, studies & exam. hmm, i rem u mentioned that ur mum & dad separated, are they ur biological or adoptive parents? Thanks for encouragement.

Ivy - how about taking 1 of 3 characters of ur husband's translated surname? ;P or just give ur son a chinese name translated from his english name & do without surname? just some suggestions lah... don't take me seriously.

i also want to know difference in deposit for A1 and B1 ward & also other charges.

yes, my husband is working. with his OT pay, his gross pay is near $2K... but still like that... i admire those guys who is earning lesser than my husband, yet can single-handledly feed a family of 4.

ya, was contemplating of doing that.
 
morning mummies...mummies to be..

anyone got the same issue as me? my tummy is growing liao..but i still have 2 layer of tummy..my colleagues say i look fat then preg..my tummy still not round round yet
 
Juzyounme
My mum & dad not separated lah just that my mum had passed on. They are my adopted parents. By the way, my biological siblings are all happy despite the hardship they hv to endure as a child and now they are all doing well. So be strong
happy.gif


I think you need a serious heart to heart talk with your hubby regarding the $ issue. If you think you'll end up fighting, get a mediator to sit in so that he/she can help to direct your conversation.
 
Juzyounme, dun give up and must stay strong ok..in fact both my bros who have yet finish pri school education only..are the sole winner for the family..they each have 2 and 3 kids and their wives are housewives due to education level as well..from what i understand..the monthly house income is about $2k and their kids now are in primary school and what happen is they go and get bursary for the kids' education..therefore..i always believe..there is always a way..if you are willingly to go thru..trust me..when i was young..my family was not well to do as well..neither of my parents were educated
 
Ivy - my baby also come v unexpectedly, coz i just took up part-time studies. now struggling everything... i'm just not sure whether the baby will be happy with us. at least for me, since i was a young kid, i wish i'm not w my family & adopted by someone else. coz since young, i'm beaten every day & crying every day.

Santorini - have spoken, but no use. i actually expect him to contribute higher % than me for family. i think i'm willing to give up the baby & really feel like just dumping baby with my in-laws & move of house & marriage after delivering. coz since i know i'm pregnant, i haven't feel any joy of a mother, worrying daily about $ & tends to dislike any reminder that baby is coming. so 3mths of not visiting gynae can avoid seeing baby at ultrasound.
 
morning all! today have a weird dreaM! maybe its bcus my gal keep kicking me till i dream of her hahah. i dream that she kick me till i can see her 2 footprint on my tummy! then i wana take photo of her foot, i saw in my camera like can scan my tummy that i could see her whole body! i can see her face everything in my tummy! so weird hahaha
 
luvudeepdeep, it depends on yr gynae if she gives the green light to eat. For me, she is ok with me eating and food is provided by TMC. Heard some gynaes dun allow patients to eat before delivery cos u may push out the 'wrong thing'. Hehe!
 
LuthAdel - i c. ur parents only adopt you or you still have other adoptive siblings? he isn't keen to get any mediator. if end up fighting too frequently, i will just leave everything...

bubble pearl - the thing is that we won't qualify for any financial assistance, coz exceed the required total income. it's just that he is not willing to sacrificially contribute for the family... i also not from a well-to-do family, about a gross total income of $1.7K for family of 4.
 
it's nt the gynae tat dun allow ler, it is the hospital, the moment i prepare for admission then the counter staff asked if i have taken my meal otherwise later cannot eat n drink during the whole labour...
 
juzyounme
is this your first child? o..dont ever thing of sending kid away. kid only happy when staying with mummy. when some1 adopt him/her, you will be painful cause k not c the bb everyday. what if other party doesnt treat ur bb good? only mummy will have a great love for their own child.

$ spend for bb, mostly for milk powder, pampers. for bb toys n clothes, u may look for cheaper one, selling in d market or get second hand stuff. also k get second hand free clothes/ toys from colleagues or sister if any.
$ issue in family. communication is very important. talk to hb, will he contribute to bb monthly expenses. may b 100 or 200 for d starting. get $ on the next day he get paid. if he is not working now, then advise him, it is time to look for the job.
if hb stubborn, and you both still lov each other, u may try counselling first. with 3rd party help, both of u will open for communication what is the problem and solve towards it.

To take care of bb, i guess the safest cost is to look for mil or mother or get a maid.
other source of income, if really no choice you may consider to rent out 1 of the room to help d expenses.
You can always give up (by sending the kid away), so why give up now?
 
Juzyounme

Have you talked to your in-laws about the money problem you have? If they know that their son is not supporting the baby, maybe they will have a good talk to him...

Is your husband excited about the baby? If he is, how can he not be willing to even give one or two hundred a month for the baby? Have you talked to him about your thoughts on adoption? Maybe he doesnt know you are so "fan" about the money issue?

The baby is innocent, so please think very very carefully before deciding on anything..........
I know you didnt have a good childhood, but you should give your baby a chance at a good one...
 
Snowger/Charis,

I cant join you girls & hbs for dinner this sat....cos i just remembered that i have a wedding dinner to attend.....Am going for the make-up class tonight....

have fun on sat .....
 
juzyounme...be strong and bring up your baby...see your bb grow and be happy. Chuan dao qiao tuo zi ran zhi...dont worry so much now.

anyone knows about the deposit for A1 ward in KKH?
 
Hi Juzyounme
Sigh.. sorry to hear that from you...

I believe u can do it... My uncle is a poor man, with no education and earning less than $2K per month, wife with no job and 3 kids. Still he managed to survive, though its very hard. We being relatives always try to help him out..

Please reconsider about sending your kid away. Like u said, u may not be happy since young, i believe u want your kid not to experience your past and you will try provide for your child as you can. Sending to adoptive parents may not treat them good... not every adoptive parents are like Luthadel's mum. Sending your kid away, may never have a 2nd chance to want them back.

About your Hb and in laws, u really need to talk to them.. HB earning $2K a month plus your income, is definitely able to raise a child..

Brace up!!
happy.gif
 
Xuelyn:
sure, see u! =)

luvudeepdeep:
welcome! we are always open to have more member contributing to your own experience and suggestions. make our preg more fun (since most of our HBs are not too good at expressing anyway!)

Juzyounme:
dats tough, $$$ issue. also for sharing, my HB was out of werk for the past mth and being the doted only son (he got 2 sisters), he does not have a saving habit as well. in fact, he's the type who really spend till the last dollar. i have always been trying to cultivate a saving habit in him since im wif him 3 yrs back. but till now, still diff lor.

nonetheless, i knw the experience has made him more aware of his money mgt habit. frankly, since knowing me, my HB spent most of his money on me and family, and he does not squander his money like before (he knw me). so i dun blame him for the tight financial situation now. he has also promised dat he will make saving part of his lifestyle once he confirms a job (which is likely in the next 1-2 weeks). So i gather the silver lining during his recent unemployment is dat he can reflect on his past and plan for future, esp with the arrival of our BB Kasia in Dec.

So, i gather sometimes drastic event (like sudden unemployment or arrival of a new family member) could change a person. My dear, dun give up yet. from yr past postings, i can sense dat u have built chemistry wih yr BB. Dun give up easily, ok? =)
 
juzyounme,

talk to ur hb on the $$ issue. it's not easy, n it's alwiz a sensitive topic.

i used to spend all my money like there's no tomorrow. n i used to quarrel with hb on this. somehow, i c his POV n slowly changed. saved for my own further studies, n he can c i dun anyhow spend money n become smarted in making decision prior to any purchases.

i believe u n ur hb can make it. u loves him, then u married him. there's must b some good points in him dat u like. talk to him on $$ issue. he gotta take up his responsibility as a father. n dun drag ur appt too long. doc need to check on bb's growth rate too. hugs...
 
ladies,

any of u all bought a diaper bag?? i just bought a Pigeon Diaper Bag from Robinsons yesterday.

n for those still searching for strollers n car seats, Robinsons got some models selling for less than 200 dollars (i saw a graco stroller n a britax car seat). worth checking it out!!!
 
Jazlyn, I gotten mine..it is naraya big bag..purchase by one of my online friend...

btw..anyone got the same problem as me..? double layer tummy.
 
mimi & luthadel
yipe. gonna monitor a while more den c how again. smtimes rest den ok. veri funni one.

juzyounme
ctg machine is a machine that monitors our contractions. duration n how many mins apart.
 
juzyounme..
Sigh.. sorry to hear that..

$ matters is really sensitive, even to husband and wife. But you must try again to talk..
Dun give up.
Pregnancy is not easy ( i personally feel) than when the baby is born, you will cherish your baby more.
How you "se de" to let it adopted by others.
Be strong please.
Still have 3 more months to think, to save a bit money and resolve the problem...
 
hey...is anyone of you interested in those kinda naraya bags...waterproof...i have lots of them....will to sell cheap...its not from naraya though...but quality is the same
 
juzyounme, don't think abt giving up ur baby!! It is your flesh and blood and you have carried him for 9mths..

As for $$ issue, things will always work out in the end.. thr is nothing that is impossible in the world. Every problem have a solution. I know it is always easier said than done, but if my family can survive on my mom doing odd jobs and my dad being a gambler and she has to support 4 kids and having to pay a $600 rental per mth, u will grow up stronger and ur baby will be as well!!

U noe.. if u need any help, do feel free to shout it out. We may not be professionals but each one of us come with different experience in life which may probably give u the strength to carry on ya..
 
Luvudeepdeep - I'm also a SAHM to be. Have been out of job since end Dec07. Ya, missed the monthly pay too. Nowadays cannot anyhow spend money unlike last time when there's monthly pay. But will definitely find a job after i pop.

Jusyounme - Please reconsider giving up ur bb for adoption. Does ur hb knows of ur decision? U really need to talk with ur hb and work out on ur financials. There's a thread on giveaway items. Do check it out. If u hv frens who already had kids, can always ask them for bb clothes and toys.
 
hi fong2,

nice meeting u...
yalor, nowadays really must think & count twice b4 spending money, sianz hor... i wan to find job after deliver but my hubby asked me to stay at home taking care of 2nd one coz his MIL is too old to look after 2 at one time... anyway boh chap, will try to look for job after bb reach 6 mths... hihi
 
luvudeepdeep - ^5! My hubby also want be to be permanent SAHM. But then i told him i dun wan to be huang lian po. I also thought of looking for a job after bb reach 6 mths.
happy.gif
 
fong2,

actually my husband will prefer me to work one coz he knows i'm not tat kind of ppl that can stay hm permenantly look after children... not my style, but this time really boh bian, no one taking care of 2nd one & he dun trust outsider ler... so i 'sacrify' a bit lor... haha
 
luvudeepdeep;
yup, i find "xin ku" working while preg. salute to all working mtb. stay @home, not bcom "huang lian po" la, i no cook cos hb cook is nicer. i work house work 2x in a week. i also very excited, cant wait for my bb's arrival, then i got some1 to play with, shopping, haha...
 
Luvudeepdeep - I'll be delivering at GlenE too! My EDD is on 7 Dec. Maybe we'll deliver ard the same time. I'm a 1st time mtb. Who's ur gynae? I'm currently seeing Dr Peter Chew.
happy.gif
 
ya esp when u need to travel to work by public transport, nowadays ppl are really jialat, i dun mind if they dun giv up their seat, but dun push or squeeze with me lor... so stay at home also better but sometimes can be really really boring lor coz my son not with me during weekday, my MIL still looking after him eventhough i'm not working... hihi
 
fong,

ya who knows we might be giving birth on the same day.. haha, u go for 2 beded too? if we really happen to stay in at same time then can visit each other... hihi

this is my 2nd baby, 1st one also delivered there, my gynae is Dr Chan KH, an old man with all hair white and very very very particular abt weight lor... if u gain too much u will nag n nag one ler....

Dr peter chew is at which floor, seems like a lot of mummies seeing him ler
 
Luvudeepdeep - Ya, i've booked 2 bedded. Dr Chew is also very particular abt weight. That's y gotta always watch wat i eat, else he'll ask me to cut down on carbo, fried stuffs etc. Then ask me to go for blood sugar test which i dreaded. :p He's at 6th floor. Ya, he has alot of patients. Sometimes i waited for nearly 2 hrs to see him. But then his consultation only 5-10mins. Very chop chop kind. If not for my 1st miscarriage, i won't b seeing him.
 
Jazlyn,
I din check leh. hee.. i thought should have something to do wif that...BUT! i will still opt for epidural this round. hee...

Juzyounme,
actually i only dare to admit 13hours after my spotting.. hee... me timid leh.. dunno what to expect when i admit lo. so it was like 10.30am spotting, 13hr later, 11pm flag for cab then vroom to hospital..and ya, before that we had pizza for dinner! ah hahah and no food all the way until i gave birth the next day morning.. er... i think i was too tired liao, so i took lunch, no breakfast. my contraction was too mild. they induce me abt 6 plus am...
 


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