(2004/09) Year End (Sep - Dec) 2004 Mothers-to-be

[berrywife]

yuru hehehe okok, next time faye meets tena I'll remind them to take pics

More thoughts: Babies grow up WAYYYY too fast, in a blink of an eye Faye is already 6mth old. I remember once I asked a good friend who is a mum of 2 pri kids what is the best advise she can give to a new mum, and she told me 'treasure them, and savour every moment, cause before you know it, they'll prefer to run off to the playground with friends instead of clinging tightly in your arms.' Now that I'm a mommy myself, I find her words very true. I've seen mums who look back on the earlier years and sigh with regret because they didnt treasure their kids' babyhood and thought of their little babies as a burden more than a joy, and I'm thankful everyday that I learn this lesson *not* the hard way.

 

[slk]

mummies,
thanks for all your compliments on lucas

my views on SAHMs and FTWMs:
i've always wanted to quit my job and be a SAHM. thought i'll really enjoy my time with lucas and 'develop' with him. my sis was a SAHM and i used to hear her complain abt my niece.... and will always wonder why. then i finally got to stay at home with lucas for a few weeks last week.
my verdict: I CANNOT BE A SAHM!!

maybe cos i was working from home and taking care of him at the same time. trust me, super duper tough!! now that lucas is back in school, i think he's learning more than he's at home with me alone. i just feel that i'm too lazy to entertain him the whole day

as to whether it's a SACRIFICE or PRIVILEGE to be a SAHM, it's really up to individual views and opinions

for mine:
- SACRIFICE if the mummy gives up a high paying job and stay at home with the kid
- PRIVILEGE if the mummy is not a lazy mummy like me, and am willing to spend time and develop with the kid

dunno if i'm making sense here... hahahaha!

 

[sraikh]

Hmm Medusa and Berry. I really think a large % of women here in Singapore tend to have mngo's kind of attitude whereby being a SAHM equals to a sacrifice. Berry, I really liked what you wrote abt it being a privilege.
People tend to think I am insane for marrying young and having kids and after 3 kids, I am thinking of having one more because I want even numbers.lol
I enjoy staying at home with my kids and am really thankful that my dh makes enough to support us. Sure, we might NOT have an expensive car or condo, but we have more wonderful things in life. Anyways am going off topic here.

 

[mtmtmt]

Hehe, it doesn't matter what attitude, what choices, and we can all agree to disagree amicably... as long as a person doesn't go on the first offensive (to another person who made a different choice).

I do gripe or feel I'm not doing enough/ well enough, with regards to my work, but alot of people also gripe about theirs too.

But seeing everyone's babies posted here and growing along, is certainly one of the highlights of my day too!

More pics pls!

 

[mtmtmt]

On hindsight, think I'm way too harsh earlier, like this how to gather good karma for me and my precious? I do sincerely apologise for any offence caused deliberately or inadvertedly.

 

[littleprince]

i hv never thought abt whether i am a dedicated mum, just want to do my best for rhyan in whatever way i can .. and willingly give up any other committments as much as i can .. maybe its to make up to my kid for whatever i was deprived of when i was young ..

many ppl hv asked me why do i want to be committed with a family and a kid when i am still so young .. and tt i wun hv time to enjoy myself, or go out with my friends now? haha .. but this qns has never bother me coz i always look forward to picking up my son after work and its so heartwarming to carry my son in my arms though it means i dun get to bathe, eat or rest after i reach home with him ..

but, i agree with SLK, i can't be a SAHM either .. my personality dun allow me to stay at home and take care of my kids lah .. i will be more balanced if i work and take care of them after i go home ..

berry
i am already missing rhyan's 6mths bb-hood now .. LOL .. i take hours to do up his photo album nowadays coz i keep on looking at his younger photos and am so happy going through how he has learnt to smile, tummy down, flip etc .. and am glad tt i hv never given up doing whatever i want for him

 

[littleprince]

aiya, we are all just sharing our thoughts only .. there is no right or wrong, no hard feelings to everyone

 

[angph38]

i oso wish to be SAHM.. so tired rushing here & there n always seems like not enuff time wif Shanice cos she's always SLEEPING *LOL*


<font color="aa00aa">sun,</font>
i salute u! think if 1 or 2 kids, i dun mind to be a SAHM, more than that, i think i'll *run far far* hahha..

 

[berrywife]

lil prince, yar I know! I felt sooo nostlagic when I was doing up faye's newborn album, she was so tiny and reddish and small!! I think you'll truly know what I mean when I say the biggest reward for mommyhood is the baby

So as a SAHM and speaking just for *myself*, yes, I reap my rewards daily.

 

[mtmtmt]

Pics!
Look what I found while housekeeping my PC, old Faye! LOL! Snazzed it up for fun.

 

[jrboy]

Hey Ladies,
Oh...abt this topic: SAHM and FTWHM!
Berry, Jareen and some of you may know how much I WISH TO BE A SAHM!

I agreed with Shih lin cos' I am like her too!
I cannot 'afford' for the time being... cos' ...my hubby always said " hey, why stay at home and give up your high paying job and why u spend $$$ to do your masters degree!!'
Hmm...

for this reasons I have to stay at work ...until one day he totally supports me to go SAHM (Actually, he always hope that I can be a SAHM to spend time with JR and develop JR... but he thinks not at this moment!
Maybe I have to wait till he strikes TOTO!!!!)
To add on, my mom will 'KILL' me if I stay at home now (hehehe, cos she always not very supportive of me furthering my studies and I insisted doing courses after courses!) but if I have 2 babies...maybe it will be different.... I think....

 

[mtmtmt]

 

[berrywife]

MT, LOL!!!! this is one of the first pics of Faye sitting up alone wahaha, that time can only sit for 3-4 seconds then topple liao hehehe.

Edit to add: aiyo she looks so bald in this pic!!

 

[mtmtmt]

Berry, much chubbier face then! Tena still cant do this!

 

[berrywife]

MT, can lar, you must position for her, and she must WANT to do it. I think tena just prefers to lie on you hehe

 

[pcs]

Junior
Thanks for the info on Gerber. I will keep my bigs OPEN when I go shopping
Yr HB doesn't wants u to go for further studies?? I'm planning to go for courses too. Was thinking too it will be gd if I can take care of kei in the morning and go for courses at nite but like what u say must wait for TOTO to stike LOL

 

[jrboy]

pcs,
no problem, got lobang we all share share... u really have to try oatmeal bathing... dun know whether jareen smell JR last sat

regarding, further studies.. my hubby has been a very supportive *GREAT* hubby and boyfriend all these years...(heehee..we are together for more than a decade liao...old couple!) I took up a post grad diploma before embarked for my Masters over the last 5 years and he never complaint but giving me lots of supports esp when i cannot go dating over weekends cos' of assignments..and while doing my Masters in NTU..he really ferried me to and fro so that I wont be too tired driving long distance (Tampines/ Punggol to NTU)and even helped to discuss my thesis topic together

The one complaint is my mom She said why girl studies so much hahah... but I think it is commom these days... cos we have 4 Masters grad at home and lots of my friends either go or doing a programme now and I even have some frens in States doing PhD! Think some mummies' hbies are doing such PhD in UK now....

So, as for SAHM issue..since he now said he wants me to wait till he is more really for me to go SAHM... I dun really bark him to 'hurry'..cos I have to give the same support.

Yeah, look likes we have to WAIT for hubbies to strike TOTO!!!!

If you are really keen to do a programme... I strongly recommend you to go ahead... it is the self-fulfilling and learning experiences that I really enjoy and value from my studies

 

[pcs]

Junior
U r so hardworking, really admire U!!!
Totally agree wif u on the part on self-fulfilling and learning experience. Have always wanted to learn more things but time and money is an issue. Well jus try my best lah!!
Kapo a bit - u &amp; hb "part tall" how long b4 customary?

 

[jrboy]

pcs,
oh regarding how long 'part tall'.... very long till relatives worried for me leh... cos' they heard so much about long long 'part tall' couples go apart! We got married after almost 8 years of dating...

U leh?? how long dating before u got married??

dun admire me.. actually if you know the real me... I m not hardworking one leh..in fact, i m a lazy fellow but i desire to learn more so i no choice spend $$ to meet those very senior people to learn from their experiences and the profs.

 

[pcs]

Junior
We date for 13 yrs b4 getting married as we r sec sch mates

 

[jrboy]

pcs,
WOW!!! 13 years!! think u are one of the longest 'park tall' couple I know....

oh, my sis also around this long started sec 3.

 

[skyblue]

SLK,
Yalor, so long no see u ard. U oso not in yahoo for long everytime. Lucas is slimmer but he's very very handsome. Heehee, i'm like u..can't be a SAHM for sure. I love my job to give it up. But on days when i'm having a hard time at work, i'll wish to be a SAHM.

puff,
Do take care. Yingxin is really such a sweetie pie

junior,
I smelled n remember i said dat JR smelled so nice?

 

[ktpf]

Hello everyone,

I long time no post liao.. even though whenever I can, I log on to read. Today can post cuz hubby holding baby hee hee.

Funny you gals discussing about SAHM and FTWM. I am due to be back in the office next week

and am going to tender on the first day itself. Actually I went back to tender last monday but my STUPID company HR has a rule saying "you're not allowed to tender during maternity".. How STUPID is that, if they want to say i can't use my maternity leave as notice just say so, now I have to reproduce the same letter just change the date.

Anyway, I digress. I'm tendering 'cuz moving with hubby and baby to England.. when I announced to my family this decision during CNY (actually not announce, more like my friend's husband let it slip out even though I had not yet tell my family), my parents also have alot to say. I remember my mom saying "You study so hard, don't work, isn't it a waste?" My reply was "I have such a cute baby (IMHO), don't look after him myself, isn't it a waste?"

 

[mngo]

SLK i agree with you. to me it is a big sacrifice.

Medusa, i did not know berry is petty, to me , the sian word is a joke.

 

[ktpf]

Medusa, you mentioned about the everyday see mommy's face sian, hee hee, sometimes I say to Ethan, when he's cranky pants, "See mommy's face everyday sian is it? You want mommy bring you kai kai?"

 

[weddingfairy]

mngo,
i hv friens/relatives/ex-colleagues supporting me in my new career. y i said career n not job? bcos i believe i can succeed n do very well in it. i'm so glad i quit my full-time (6days work week from 11am-7pm n sometimes working on sundays from 11-4pm) job 2 join an insurance co. e flexible timing n income is perfect for me 2 be WFHM.

abt SAHM-my 2cents worth
i knew from 22yrs old, i wanted 2 b a homemaker (during tat time, it's called homemaker, housewife, minister of home affairs, etc...nothing like SAHM). why? bcos my colleague showed me why.
my colleague left her bb in e care of a maid. her maid is very gd so no worries abt maid abusing bb, etc. one day, my colleague answered a call n she cried a lil after she hung up e phone. she turned 2 me (i sat next 2 her), "kelly, my son juz said e 1st word n i'm not there 2 hear it." at tat instance, i felt my heart ache for her. i knew then i wanna stay home for my bb. whenever her bb achieved any milestone, the maid would call my colleague n my colleague would act happy over e phone but once she hung up, she'll sigh n sob a lil. my colleague cldnt quit bcos of financial commitments. btw, til now e bb is very very close wif e maid even though my colleague spends watever time she has wif e bb when she's home. e bb is now a 8yrs old boy. he knows who his mummy is but he knows who 2 run for comfort. he knows his mummy can buy him toys/clothes (anything material) but when he's sad/happy, he'll share it 1st wif e maid. my colleague is very upset abt it but wat can she do?

my point is tat it has been ingrained in me 8yrs ago 2 b SAHM. i never tot of it as a sacrifice but as a lifetime job for me. i chose 2 hv kids (tat's y i hv it so late) so i shall bear the responsibility 2 take care of them personally. i c no point in bearing kids n dumping them 2 other 2 look after. i also did quit a high paying job (a few mummies know how high) 2 take care of gab. i NEVER regret it. since quitting on 4feb, i never look back.

like medusa, i salute all FTWMs who still take care of their babies after work themselves. they r amazing n remarkable. i doubt i'll hv e energy 2 do tat. besides, i doubt i can concentrate at work while leaving my son wif a caregiver.

2 sum it up, it's a personal thingy...2 b a SAHM, WFHM, FTWM, PTWM as long everyone (including bb) is happy. i know of a SAHM who simply leaves her son wif her MIL full time while she shakes legs at home, go shopping, take afternoon naps, do anything she wants. she's happy, husband is happy, bb is happy, ILs r happy so it's one big happy family.

 

[weddingfairy]

kypf,
long time no see...u must b busy wif ethan. when u say move back 2 england, is ur hubby a foreigner or he holds a UK passport? i saw ethan's pics b4, he dun like ang moh 2 me leh.

 

[mngo]

Junior, you are like me, having high paying job. That is why we cannot afford to give up that kind of salary, no doubt our hubby is earning much more than us.

 

[ktpf]

Berry, agree with u, babies grow up way too fast.. i miss those days when Ethan was 1 month, 2 months.. now he's 4 months already..

 

[mngo]

Kelly, is really a good start for you

. i am sure you are going to do very well. Gabriel is fortunate to have you as his mummy, because you know what insurance is good for him.
Unlike me

i know nothing. I only know how to offend people.

 

[fan_choy]

whether to be a SAHM, WFHM, FTWM, PTWM, etc.. i think it's still very individual. sometimes, we make the decision due to a few circumstances which can be beyond our control. it's nice to see how different mummies view this topic. but i think it's getting a bit hot now... let's have a break, it's Good Friday tomorrow, another long-awaited long weekend!

 

[ruffy_happy]

Kelly,
are you going to the Metro warehouse sale?

 

[weddingfairy]

hi mummies n babies,
happy easter holidays!


ruffybear,
i may. dunno yet cos schedule quite packed for e weekend.

 

[little_devil]

hmmm..... topic about SAHM..... me also a SAHM and i have to admit tat in the very beginning, i felt sort of sian, no life, bored, depressed..... so i tot tat i am not really ready for MOTHERHOOD!! *how sad* and it was like quinn is entering his 3rd month or so, i started to experience a totally new experience!!

maybe theres alot of helpful mummies here like chris, sherlyn, sharon, ac........... so many of them who actually convince me tat its all about homornes changes and it could be DEPRESSION "scary" but ever since i try to relax myself and try to tell myself tat i have to win this BATTLE with emotional monster, I WON and i am soooo glad tat i have quinn

and i also agreed tat babies will not be sian if they are seeing the same person everyday, every min, every sec..... as me and my mum is a veryyyy good example! even til now, tat i am 29 yrs old, already a mother of 1, I STILL MISS MY MUM and she was a SAHM. so i guess tat wat we put in till the end of the day is wat we will get in return. and it feels sooo good tat every morning, quinn will wakes me up by pulling my hair and when i finally open my heavy eyelids (ehhh...u gals should know lah, me sleep very late) he will jus look at me and give me his KILLER smile and its enough to make me energetic for the day again.....before i scream "TIRED AH"!!! ummm..... in the past, i am someone who dislike being tied down or restrict in any ways but QUINN proves me wrong as i am willing to give him everything and its MOTHER LOVE and not sacrifice.....

and also even a working mum can also show LOVE to their child as when u talking about love, especially MOTHER LOVE nothing can gets in the way.

 

[slk]

pcs,
forgot to reply you just now... you are so cute, actually mention to hubby abt lucas. i'll tell lucs tonight!! hee!

skyblue,
yeah, long time no 'see'

i'm in yahoo lei, can you see me? but as mentioned before, i can't chat with you girls (so sorry). cos i'm using another software to incorporate yahoo, icq, and msn.

mngo, JR, skyblue, littleprince,
same here, i can't give up my job, and i might go insane too! hahaha!

berry,
faye looks different.... slimmer too!

medusa,
you mean tena still can't sit up is it? it's ok lah, lucas just started sitting too and he's much older than tena... slow hor? hehehe!

blisse,
just saw carriane's pics, she looks so sweet! and she resembles your hubby!!! i still remember your hubby's looks at ruffy's place... fair fair japanese looking guy

cosmo,
issac looks chubbier!! so cute!

time flies, all our babies are a few mths old liao!! last time we were all a few mths preggie only... hee!

 

[ruffy_happy]

kelly,
ryan and I are going expo today.. will let u know if there is anything to buy.

 

[mngo]

kelly,
your friend's case, think she has no choice. i think a lot of people who are working mums are not there to witness their children's development and milestones all the time. that includes the first word,first crawl, first walk

 

[ktpf]

Kelly, my hubby BBC la, we sometimes joke that the good thing that i go overseas to study is to find a husband.. b'cuz my mother like to say that i have to work and earn lots of money since i went overseas to study

 

[ktpf]

hey there's apparently this "Parent's Fiesta" @ United Square tomorrow, sorry dunno what it's about my SIL asked me to go, anyone else heard of it and/or going..??

 

[ktpf]

pardon my incoherent messages, I have to type fast in case His Royal Highness starts screaming for me again..

 

[puff]

heh heh, me also waiting for hubby to STRIKE TOTO ah...then i can officially enjoy as a SAHM!!

 

[weddingfairy]

kypf,
oic...wat is ur husband gonna do back in UK? so gd 2 hv an alternative country 2 fall back on.


ruffybear,
thks! i wunder how u manage wif ryan at e warehse sale?

 

[curious_mum]

On the same topic of SAHM, with the high standard of living in SIN, is it really possible to stay at home and not have double example. For example, from the threads, it seems like little_price, mtmt, etc are quite free? How do you all cope?

in singapore, is it really possible for a mum to stay at home and not work?

 

[little_devil]

tan_mm
hey, r u the one who reply the nan 2? i am also a sahm and actually for me, sahm not really free, but they seems free as they make time.

 

[laputa]

metro warehouse sale,

went there just now and there was quite a few people there. its fun to go and the prices are better than the robinsons warehouse sale.

 

[puff]

oh, btw, thanks for all the care and concern showered on me....i'm fine now

 

[angph38]

<font color="aa00aa">kelly,</font>
i oso hv an alternative country to fall back on, but i dun think i'll ever consider it cos it's "just next door" *LOL* i always tell hubby, next time if he wanna go back, he goes himself. Shanice &amp; i will stay here, unless he's migrating to other country *LOL*


<font color="0000ff">TOTO</font>
i oso praying hard hubby strike TOTO *LOL* cos whenever i buy, at most will strike 2 numbers only *damn unlucky*

 

[weddingfairy]

angelia,
my husband dun hv an alternative country 2 fall back on but he has lotsa malaysian relatives cos his mum is a malaysian AND he has joked b4 abt staying in JB since there's only 1 income now BUT i always say NO! nothing against e country or pp but i prefer s'pore.


<font color="ff0000">BIG SWEEP</font>
my husband said strike toto, only get abt $600K+ unless there's a bigger pool 2 win from. he said he wanna strike Big Sweep-1st prize. lagi betta...LOL

 

[pcs]

Junior
Yah we went "steady" in Sec 3. Hahaha

Kelly
Yr story of ur colleague makes me teary coz I know I'm going to be like her, miss all the milestone of kei.

Little Devil
U v cute .Can feel yr MOTHER LOVE from here!!!!

SLK
Yah I refer Lucas as the "Michelin BB"

Puff
Don't wait lah. Start buying yrself and if u strike, pocket the money and don't tell hb. hehehe.

 

[slk]

hey mngo,
i asked my church friend abt this 'first words, first walk, first crawl' thingy before. she's a FTWM and has 2 boys. so i asked if she ever missed all these. her answer 'of cos not, once they start walking, talking etc, they don't just do it once. they'll try for a few days. so you won't miss any of these'

so consoling